• Member Since 21st Jul, 2013
  • offline last seen 11 hours ago

StormLuna

Princess Luna is the best princess and Nightmare Moon is the best queen.

StormLuna Joined 21st Jul, 2013 · Offline

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Comments ( 14 )
Violet Shade
Violet Shade #1 · Sep 18th, 2017 · · 2 · Detention ·
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Finally, a female Anon story! I get so tired of them always being males having their way with a female character.

Locky
Locky #2 · Sep 18th, 2017 · · · Detention ·
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You should try 'Annie' instead of Anonya
Or just Anon, really, because Anonya was... wow

StormLuna
StormLuna #3 · Sep 18th, 2017 · · · Detention ·
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8432915

Yeah Annie could have worked but I liked how Anonya sounded. Regarding just using Anon, that is what is used with all the ones involving males and it would make me feel like I gave a boy's name to a girl and perhaps confuse readers into thinking she may be a he.

Nuhri1995
Nuhri1995 #4 · Sep 18th, 2017 · · · Detention ·
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All that experience, and this is what you have given us? If this is the quality of your most recent work, I shudder to even think about looking at anything older.

It really isn't the grammar, for once. To me, this story just feels so awkward and out of place. Don't even get me started on the pacing. Good grief. At least you're trying, so points for that, but, you're not gaining this one, singular and insignificant follower.

diablo4000
diablo4000 #5 · Sep 18th, 2017 · · · Detention ·
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8433159
I agree, and her plan sucked big time. i perfer her to pay soem real conqunces for her actions.

StormLuna
StormLuna #6 · Sep 19th, 2017 · · · Detention ·
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8435146

Thanks, I did my best to make this one visual and it was very fun to write.

Harms Way
Harms Way #7 · Sep 22nd, 2017 · · · Detention ·
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Very interesting read, my friend. Great work! :twilightsmile:

StormLuna
StormLuna #8 · Sep 23rd, 2017 · · · Detention ·
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8441672

I'm glad you like it, it was quite fun to write.

Sean Shamrock
Sean Shamrock #9 · Oct 27th, 2017 · · · Detention ·
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Ok so several issues with this story;

1. Rushes as hell, I would have loved to see this story flushed out and dragged out better.
2. To much exposition, show us just how much Sunset is loved and show us through events why it infuriates the reader.
3. Terrible protagonist that was being basically a rude c:trollestia:t “oh your getting more attention than me I’m gonna right you” I get that it’s high school an that stuff happens (believe me when I was in High School I saw that shit everyday it’s very annoying)
4. When writing a 2nd Person clopfic it’s important to NEVER divulge the gender and I can here the comments “Ya well we are tired of always seeing the guys get the characters” fair point and I can see the argument but most stories involve the words; Them, They, You, etc... they use genderless terms and I can also hear another comment “oh well these clip fics always use cock, shaft, balls, dick, etc...” this does not mean it’s a male. People please remember that Transgender people and intersexs people (those who have both genatalia) are a real thing.

See a proper 2nd person writer uses gender neutral pronouns that way Everyone can feel involved weather you be male or female. Which leads to my next comment “Oh well i don’t have a penis so I can’t connect to this character because blah, blah, blah” Your reading a clopfic about a world where MAGIC is a everyday thing. Believe me a female reader suddenly having a dick of their own isn’t a story isn’t as assanign as you assume.

I’m short I couldn’t enjoy this story as everything felt forced upon me. However, I will not be an asshole and condem this fic it does get a thumbs up, a favorite and a fair 7/10 because effort and heart was put into this story but it need to be redone and flushed out better. That being said StormLuna don’t give up and keep writing.

Pete100
Pete100 #11 · Jun 2nd, 2021 · · · Fight in the Lunchroom ·
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Ever since you were little, you had always been second best in your class, always. When you were little there was always that girl that seemed to grasp mathematics like it was nothing, in junior high there was always that ditz that everyone thought was so cute and during your first three years at Canterlot High, someone else had always stood out and you were just another face in the crowd.

I don’t see how that’s a bad thing.

Now that you are starting your senior year you realize that this is your last chance to truly stand out but after what happened last year at the fall formal that seemed impossible. That girl, Sunset Shimmer, was once so hated was suddenly the most beloved girl in the school. All the students loved her, the teachers adored her and it seemed like she had both Vice-Principal Luna and Principal Celestia wrapped around her fingers. "No longer!" you said to yourself. You decided that the time for change had come. You may not be able to get everyone to love and adore you but you knew that if you played your cards right, you may be able to win over someone and you have decided to set your eyes on the very top.

I honestly never understood that.

The normally nice girl suddenly went into a rage and began throwing punches at you, which you quickly countered with and before you knew it, you and Sunset were rolling on the floor trading punches while many of the students in the lunch room were yelling, "FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT!"

I would have been one of those students.

Despite having some students pulling for you, you had much bigger things on your mind than some students cheering for you, you had to put your bacon haired enemy in her place. Finally you got her pinned down and began striking her in the face again and again until you heard a stern voice yell, "STOP!"

Honestly, he should have done this before the fall formal. Would have been more satisfying.

Pete100
Pete100 #12 · Jun 2nd, 2021 · · · A Discussion With Celestia ·
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Celestia did not see the whole thing so she didn't know whether that was true or not but she was still angry. She sighed, "Anonya, someone tripping you is no reason for you to throw them onto the floor and try to beat them senseless!"

If it’s on purpose, then yes.

It was indeed hot so Celestia did something you have never seen her do before, she took off her blazer and this is when you discovered why she was wearing one. She was wearing a rather thin blouse and underneath it her black bra was clearly visible. You began to gaze at it which prompted her to immediately put her blazer back on. She gave you a scowl and said, "It's not nice to stare."

Out of all the things that’s happened at that school that’s what she’s worried about?

You knew that things were not looking good so you apologized to her and you were surprised to see the scowl disappear but that did not distract her the same way you had hoped. She did give you an intense look and said, "Anonya, I'm pretty sure you know that punching other students will get you detention but what you did today warrants a lot more than that, it warrants a suspension."

Since when?

Pete100
Pete100 #13 · Jun 2nd, 2021 · · · Detention ·
Reply

I’ll be honest, it took me awhile to piece together that this was a female anon.

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