What's been left unsaid
“What is it that you wish to discuss, young Spike?” Luna walks over to a mirror to look herself over, ensuring she’s fit for morning court.
Spike is left in the center of Luna’s room looking around in awe. He’s never been in here before and the colors are a stark contrast to what he’s used to from the majority of the castle. There’s a variety of dark blues and an array of books that line the walls, many of them looking centuries untouched, despite there being obvious care in their maintenance. The room was oddly familiar, bringing back memories of his time in Ponyville.
Perhaps it’s a quirk he gets from Twilight, but Spike imagines what stories lie within these old tomes. Adventures? Untold and forbidden spells? The possibilities are endless to his intuitive mind. Luna notices Spike’s wandering gaze, a small grin curling her lips.
“Do you see something that piques your interest?” she asks, not turning away from the mirror.
Spike starts at her observation, bringing him out of his stupor. “Sorry... I like your room; it’s nice,” he compliments.
Luna’s smile dips at Spike’s apparent nervousness. “No apologies are needed. You are intrigued, and for good reason. Very few have ever had the privilege of entering my chambers. That makes you one of only four.”
Spike’s eyes widen. “R-really?”
“Yes. You, my sister, my captain and Anon.” Spike winces, something that doesn’t go unnoticed by Luna. “Is something troubling you?”
Spike shifts uneasily in place. “Sorry, I’ve just been thinking about what happened to Anon lately. I never properly thanked you for telling me the truth.”
Luna can barely stiffle her wince at Spike’s words. Her guilt comes flooding back as she turns around to face the young drake.
“You should not thank me, Spike. You are very young and I put a large burden on your shoulders. It was not my place to do such a thing, let alone in a manner as cruel as I have.”
Spike takes a few steps towards Luna but stops short. “No, I’m glad you did,” Spike says honestly. “I just feel confused about a few things.”
Luna’s ears perk in curiosity. “Speak freely and I will try my best to assist you.”
“Ok...” He takes a moment to gather his thoughts. “I don’t hate Twilight, even after what she did. She’s family, and while I can’t ignore her actions, I also can’t push her away. We’ve been together for a long time and I know what she did was wrong, but I also know she wants to make things right.” Spike twiddles his claws as he faces the floor. “I’d probably be mad like everyone else if I didn’t know her so well. She’s been studying day after day, worrying about this forgiveness stuff, and I was always taught that everypony deserves a second chance. Twilight has been working hard to do just that.”
Spike returns his gaze to Luna. “Does that make me a bad drake?”
The two simply look at one another for a small moment. The innocent worry across his face melts Luna’s heart, but she also feels a twinge of pain. She is the reason for all his strife, and for what? Revenge? Protection? Love? He’s so young and full of hope. He believes in friendship, forgiveness and redemption: the things Luna and her sister strived for many years ago and what she lost when she took her first life.
Despite where he stands, Luna cannot find it within herself to be upset. She walks up to him and rests a wing on his shoulder.
“No, Spike. That doesn’t make you a bad drake. You are loyal and you wish to protect those you hold dear. It’s an admirable trait and something you should take pride in.”
Spike can feel his worries start to fade. Even with her words, there are some things that still bother him. “It’s just... Twilight isn’t herself. She’s acting like everything is fine, but I know she’s hurting. I think...” Spike is struggling to find the right words to say, “I think she needs Anon’s help. Now more than ever.” Spike’s eyes water some. “I-I think she’s been having nightmares. She calls out to him in her sleep, asking for him to save her.”
That wince in her heart intensifies as Spike starts to shed tears. Luna chews the inside of her cheek, the taste of copper filling her throat. She’s noticed the nightmares and every time she did nothing more than turn a blind eye, allowing Twilight to suffer for all that she’s done.
“I...” Luna doesn’t know what to say as she removes her wing from him.
“Do you hate Twilight for what she did to Anon?” Spike asks as he tries to compose himself, wiping his tears away.
Luna would want nothing more than to lock that troublesome pony away so that Anon would never have to worry about her and yet she cannot. It angers her to no end that Twilight is allowed so much freedom. In fact, considering what they were meant to represent, it’s a travesty that any of the Elements got off as quickly as they did.
“I do hate her,” Luna answers honestly. “More than that, I find how lenient my sister has been in her punishment to be nothing short of insulting. Twilight Sparkle, the Element of Magic, the one whom I once held in the highest esteem for what I believed to be her selfless act in coming to my aid, betrayed and wounded me when she hurt my friend. Just as you wish to protect Twilight, I wish to protect Anon.”
Spike nods glumly. “Thanks again for being honest.”
Luna looks to her hooves in anger. She didn’t want it to be this way. This is not helping him. “I say again in hopes that the truth in my words washes away your doubts: I do not look down on you, young Spike,” Luna says with conviction. “No matter what I feel for Twilight, I do not think poorly of you for your loyalty.” She kneels low so that he may meet her eye to eye. “You have my admiration and respect for having made such a hard choice in the face of what you’ve learned.”
Spike’s eyes are sparkling at Luna’s words. “I don’t think poorly of you either, Princess Luna. I appreciate the fact you’re so straightforward with me. It’s nice, even if it can be painful to hear.”
Hearing him say that does little to alleviate Luna’s discomfort. “Is there any way for me to lift some of the burden I’ve placed on you?”
Spike smiles a bit at her determination to help him.
“Are you sure?” Luna nods. “Alright, it may be a bit too much to ask, but... can you please help Twilight with her nightmares? I know you don't like her, but I think a good night's rest would help her a lot.”
“If that is what you wish, then I shall do it.”
“Thank you.” Spike yawns a bit as he looks over to the balcony and notices the position of the rising sun. “With everything that’s been going on, I haven’t slept much lately. If you don't mind, Princess, I’d like to take a nap.”
Luna stands up and waves to her door. “Feel free; I must attend morning court.” She watches as Spike walks away, but before he can leave she adds one last thing “Do not hesitate to come to me should you wish to talk, young Spike. For you, my doors are always open.”
Spike turns to face Luna, a broad smile on his face as he gives a bow. “I will. Thank you, Princess Luna.”
Luna is left alone as the door closes shut behind Spike. Wordlessly, Luna walks over to the side of her bed, taking in all that has transpired. She agreed to help Twilight with her nightmares! The treasonous thought causes her to snap as she throws her forehoof into the thick bedpost beside her. The blow is hard enough to snap it in half as the post hits the floor with a sizable thud, the drapery following soon after as they pull taught on the other posts left standing. Luna is shaking as she tries to reel back the pure burning rage boiling inside of her.
With a few breaths, eventually she calms down enough to center her thoughts. As revolted as she is, she will keep her promise. Luna walks over to her door and opens it, the two guards outside looking at her from the corner of their eyes.
“Send somepony to fix my bed. I have morning court to attend.”
“Understood,” one says as they give her a salute.
Luna nods as she trots down the hall.
“Then Spike told me about his day. I think things are getting better,” Twilight happily says.
“Right...”
Anon has no idea how to take this situation. Twilight, Blossom and he are walking towards the castle, but Twilight is beside him chatting casually as if they were the best of friends. The nervousness she had displayed this morning had disappeared, the merry unicorn telling him all about how things have been after he helped her. All Anon could do was let her talk, say as little as possible, and wait until this restaurant was close enough for him to leave.
“The Princess has also been teaching me various perspectives on body language. I find it absolutely fascinating.” In her rambling, Twilight looks up, noticing the human’s discomfort. Her ears pin back to her head upon realizing how candidly she’s been acting. “S-sorry... I guess behaving as though nothing’s wrong is a bit odd.”
“It’s certainly not normal.”
“I just- I appreciate you helping me. I haven’t felt great about myself lately, but being near you makes me feel as if I’m… as if I’m not alone...” Anon looks down to meet Twilight’s wavering gaze. After a moment, she moves her gaze to the cobblestone below. “Funny, isn’t it? The creature I hurt the most—the one that hates me to the core—is the one to whom I feel the closest.”
“That’s some disturbing stuff,” Anon admits as they walk past a few stores, him briefly looking at what they sell if only to move his thoughts from this situation for a moment.
“I guess it is, but it’s no less true.” Twilight smiles briefly. “I feel like no one else understands what I’m going through. No one but you.”
Anon furrows his brows. “Alright, now I’m creeped out.”
Twilight chuckles at that. “You don’t know how nice it is to talk to you again, Anon. I know it must sound crazy, but I have missed this. Thinking about how things used to be between us before… everything… is unpleasant. But I’d never give up those memories for the world. I don’t want to hurt you ever again and I...” Twilight bites her lip to stop herself. “Just silly musings, I suppose. Welp, we’re here! Thank you for tolerating me for the time being.”
Anon watches as Twilight walks toward a nondescript restaurant. He can’t control the hurricane of emotions raging inside of him: significant anger and disgust, but something softer and less repugnant wells up as he calls out to her before she enters. “I missed our talks too.”
He doesn’t wait for a response, turning and walking quickly away. Why did he have to tell her that?! The urge to vomit is at the front of his thoughts as he feels his stomach turn uneasily. Anon stops in the center of the street as he rubs his temples. In that moment, he told her the truth. When everything was new and scary in this world, Twilight was there at the start to talk to him about whatever questions he had.
She wasn’t a monster from the start; that came later.
“I’m proud of you,” Blossom says, causing Anon to jump. He’d all but forgotten she was there in the confusion. “That was brave of you to say.”
Anon spares Blossom a glance as he continues walking to the castle. “I had to tell the truth,” Anon assures himself.
“We talked about it before and I’ll repeat it: I believe you could become a great knight if you’re willing. Just ask and I’ll personally train you.”
“I’m sure Luna would be interested in sparring if I were properly trained.”
“If only you knew,” Blossom says under her breath.
“What was that?”
“I said ‘If only we screwed’,” Blossom responds with a smirk.
Anon’s face becomes red at that. Getting under his skin, like always. “Why do I hang out with you again?”
“Because you need a strong mare like me in your life.” Blossom flies up and flexes her forelegs, actually showing off a bit of muscle under her soft features.
Anon rolls his eyes, unable to keep a grin from working its way to his face at his bodyguard’s antics. “Whatever. Don’t you have paperwork to do?”
Blossom lands beside Anon as they walk. “Yeah, but with the sisters busy, I’ll have to watch over you. Wanna take me up on my offer and start training, stud?”
Anon seriously considers it for a moment. “No thanks. I still need a bath, then I’ll probably take a nap. All this Twilight stuff has made me exhausted.”
“Ooh... Now that sounds fun. Mind if I join?”
“Sure, fine. Let’s just hurry before I end up with more problems today.”
Neither of them say a thing as they make their way to the castle. Anon has a lot to think about when it comes to Twilight. While helping her is a good thing, letting her get too close isn’t. There needs to be a line and that’s something he’ll have to draw himself.
Celestia is walking down the hall that connects to the throne room and notices that only a few ponies remain for morning court. They give her a bow just before she enters into the room. Once inside, Celestia takes note of her sister on the throne and a lone stallion in the center of the room.
“Thank you for the help, Princess.” He sighs sadly. “I’ll be going now.”
“I regret not being able to help as much as you had hoped. Should you have more questions, do not hesitate to return.”
As soon as the stallion turns around, he flinches back upon finding the second Princess of Equestria patiently waiting. He gives her a quick bow, but takes his leave without so much as a word said to her. Celestia looks over to her sister with a raised brow and nods her head at the stallion briefly. Luna sighs and waits for him to leave before speaking.
“I must say that I am not used to dealing with subjects that have love problems...” Luna admits. “Even with Cadance’s aid, it is not really my forte.”
Celestia gives a nod of understanding. “I see. Yes, these questions are difficult, considering our own situation.”
“Speaking of which, how did it go?” Luna asks.
Celestia wants nothing more than to indulge her sister, but there’s a far more pressing matter that needs to be addressed. For now, Celestia must remain focused on the answers she seeks.
“It went rather well, sister. However, there was something Anon brought up that I would like to discuss with you.”
“Hm? What would that be?” Luna asks, looking over an official notice from a royal wanting to make changes to his place of business.
Narrowing her eyes, Celestia says, “I’m not quite sure how to say this without being blunt, Luna, but Anon seems rather upset with you.” Celestia notices her sister flinch slightly. “He was hesitant to explain as to why, but I know that whatever it is, it’s bothering him.”
Luna sets the notice down and addresses the guard beside the throne: “Morning court is over. Something pressing has surfaced and it requires the attention of both my sister and I. Clear the room and make sure for those left waiting get priority tomorrow as an assurance.”
The guard nods and all of them move out of the room. Celestia maintains her silence throughout. Luna waits for a moment as she thinks over how to approach this situation.
“Tell her what she wants to hear,” Nightmare whispers. “Spin her a tale and put her at ease; Celestia doesn’t have to know of your transgressions. You’re a good liar, after all.”
Luna grits her teeth as she severs the connection with Nightmare Moon. She doesn’t have the patience to deal with her right now. After taking a moment to center herself, Luna returns her sight to her sister.
“Tia, We… I’ve done something horrible to Anon,” Luna starts.
A spike of rage courses through Celestia’s veins. Her breaths become labored as she desperately holds steady. Her mind is in two places: one part of her brain screaming at her to attack her sister for harming her stallion; the other begging her to listen before acting rashly. She collects herself and faces her sister.
“Tell me everything,” Celestia orders.
“I did not harm him directly, if it is any consolation.” That part of Celestia’s mind calms at hearing Luna’s words. “However, what I did hurt him nonetheless.” Luna takes a moment to reflect on the situation Anon has given her. She’s happy he was willing to protect her, but she can’t keep this secret forever. “Sister, Twilight Sparkle...” Luna begins to tremble, “Every step your student takes, free to walk about the same now as she did before revealing herself to be the vixen she truly is, is an affront to everything Equestria stands for! She is a traitor to Harmony itself!”
Confusion spreads into Celestia. “Luna, how could you say tha-”
“Please, let me finish,” Luna says, holding up a hoof. “As retribution for what traumas she inflicted upon Anon, I wanted her to suffer deeply. I was not going to forgive or allow her to gain his forgiveness. I would protect Anon, even if it meant destroying her.” Celestia’s eyes widen in shock. “I know she is an Element—our first line of defense against Equestria’s greatest threats—and that, sister, is why I had to find another means of hurting her. To make her understand the pain she so callously put the one I care about through.”
Luna stands from her dais and walks all the way up to her sister, so they’re face to face.
“I told Spike everything about what happened in Ponyville. I turned her only support into a blade that would cut her so deeply that she would think twice about harming Anon ever again and make her feel true despair, emptiness, and isolation.”
Celestia’s ears splay back, unbelieving of the vile words streaming from her sister’s mouth.
“However, my plan didn’t work.” Luna looks away from her sister in shame, searching the stained glass windows depicting Equestria’s history. The light itself draped over her, cloaking half her face in shadow, and revealed the mare’s weariness in what was visible. “Anon found Spike, and in turn, was forced to help Twilight. He was afraid of what would happen to the relationship between you and me if he were to ignore Twilight and allow madness to take hold of and shatter her fragile psyche. So he covered up what happened and even kept the full story from you.” A few tears trail down her cheek. “Despite what I did, all he wanted in the end was to protect me.”
Celestia tries to reach out to her sister but Luna takes a step back, hiding herself in the comforting shade as the conversation with Nightmare from before grates at her thoughts. She’s not like her; she’ll never be like her! “That was not the sole reason for my actions.”
“What other reason do you have?” Celestia asks, breathing deeply.
“Tia, it’s hard living in the shadow of my past. I try my hardest to move past it and yet it incessantly looms, haunting me. The actions of Nightmare Moon were not my own, but she was a clear reminder of what I failed to overcome. Due to my own weakness, I allowed myself to fall from grace and into despair.” Luna locks eyes with her sister again, her tears having long since dried, leaving her eyes red and fur matted. “I was afraid that Twilight would become what I once was: a Nightmare.”
Celestia is speechless at hearing this revelation. “T-Twilight, a Nightmare?”
Luna nods. “Consumed by her own feelings and need for forgiveness, it would’ve corrupted her given enough time. I saw the signs and with that I knew to strike at her with the fury I failed to bring upon myself. A broken mare is no less a puppet than a corpse is a body.”
Luna looks down to the floor as she takes a breath to steady herself. “So, I broke her. Devoid of emotion, she’d be useless to any corruption. That was the plan, until Anon got involved.” Luna chokes back a sob. “I wanted to protect everyone and instead I nearly ruined everything we have created with him. If she were to become a Nightmare, she undoubtedly would’ve come for him, and I could not allow that!” Luna stomps her hoof in anger as tears rush down her face. “I’d sooner die than let Nightmare have him!”
As Luna cries, Celestia’s concerns fade. She knew her sister disliked Twilight, but she never expected it to have gotten this bad. Celestia wraps her sister into a hug and lets her cry to herself. The past still haunts Luna, as it does Celestia, no matter what they try and tell themselves. But what she did was indeed wrong and Celestia will need to address this.
“I’m sorry you’ve felt this way, Luna,” Celestia speaks gently. “Still, bringing Spike into this mess wasn’t your call to make. He’s a child, and I have spent many days trying to figure out the right words to explain to him what happened. Adding the fact you did this explicitly to harm Twilight is another issue entirely.” Celestia sighs as everything comes together. “Anon’s story now makes sense. I’m happy it’s worked out in the end, but now I fear the secrets Anon holds are putting a burden on him.”
“I’m not sorry for what I did,” Luna says with conviction. “I’m only sorry that Anon got involved.”
“Luna, you need to stop this,” Celestia says with some anger as she moves back slightly to face her sister. “You are my sister. I love you, but if you insist on again going down this path of vindictive hatred, I’m afraid I cannot stay my hoof. I punished the Elements for their crimes. If your terrible actions were to succeed in bringing Twilight to harm, you would have received no mercy from me. However, Anon has indeed saved you from this, as well as Twilight. I will help you through your plight because you are my sister, but overcoming your fear is a battle you must fight yourself, Luna.”
Luna pushes away from her sister, her eyes on the floor. “Twilight got far less than she should have.”
Celestia looks away from her sister. “It’s not entirely her fault. I have mishandled her teachings, focusing too much on educating her about friendship instead of pushing her to experience it firsthoof, and that is why she is struggling against the tide right now. As such, I’ve kept my punishment light.” Celestia then faces her sister. “You know better, Luna. I’d...” Celestia takes a deep breath to steady out what she says next. “I don’t want to see Anon hate you for what you’ve done.”
Luna flinches at that, but doesn’t say a word.
“He’s worried about you. About what having him as a friend does to you,” Celestia adds. “If you are to pursue your hate for Twilight, it will not end well for either of you. That much I can assure you. So let this lie, sister.”
Luna allows this to sink in for her. Her sister is right, she knows that, but there’s so much for Luna to think about. Can she really let go of what she feels? She doesn’t want her relationship with Anon to deteriorate, but she also doesn't want him to be at risk due to her inaction. Luna takes a long breath in as she centers her thoughts. She’ll follow Anon’s lead; if he wishes to ignore Twilight, then Luna will do the same.
“Very well,” Luna says. “I have a lot to think about. If you don’t mind, Tia, I’ll be on my way.”
Luna walks past Celestia, but stops as she’s taken into her sister’s embrace again.
“I love you, Lulu. I’m upset, but I still love you.”
That calms Luna down considerably as she rests her head onto her sisters withers.
“I love you too, Tia. I just- I worry... My hesitation allowed Nightmare to seduce me with her hollow words and has cost me greatly. I have no idea if the same will happen to your student, but it’s something I fear.”
“Don’t worry. If it should come to that, we’ll take care of it.” She held Luna closer. “Together.”
“Yes. Together.” Luna squeezes her sister before moving away from her. “I have a few things I’d like to take care of. See you later, sister.”
“Lunch with Anon,” the white alicorn reminded.
“I’ll be there.”
With that all said, Luna leaves Celestia alone in the throne room. Celestia doesn’t know what to think, but there’s one thing that’s certain: she needs to ease Anon’s worries.
Blossom is giggling uncontrollably, unable to keep still.
“Stop moving!” Anon shouts as he holds the wriggling captain firm.
“I-I, hah! can’t help it! My wings are super sensitive!”
“How did you talk me into this?” Anon groans.
Blossom tries her best to suppress her giggles as Anon works on her leathery wings. Perhaps he’s being too tolerant with his friends. Bathing with them is one thing but it’s getting to the point where any pony that gets the chance will ask him to help with something on their body. Admittedly, Blossom doesn’t have magic like the sisters, so it makes sense why she would need help... but it’s the principle of the matter. If he doesn’t stop now, who knows how many ponies will come asking!
“It didn’t take much, I have a feeling you secretly love washing ponies,” Blossom teases.
“I honestly don’t care. It’s you ponies that seem to enjoy being washed,” Anon remarks.
Blossom smirks slightly. “Are you sure you don’t care? I think I feel something pressing against my flank.”
Anon takes a moment to facepalm, some soap covering his face. “Blossom, it’s bad enough that you’re in the bath with me. Just give me a break, alright?” Anon pleads.
“Just try to relax. I’m just having fun,” Blossom assures him.
“I know. It’s just- Twilight is still on my mind. And it’s so… frustrating!”
Blossom, not moving from Anon’s lap, spins to face him.
“Well, doing the right thing doesn’t always feel good,” she admits. As she examines his body, she purses her lips, her wet hair falling over one of her eyes. “Here, let me wash you.”
Anon accedes, watching Blossom as she takes the shampoo, pours it on herself and then gives him a big hug, moving up and down his chest. His face burns in a furious blush.
“W-Why do you have to be so weird all the time!?” he asks, his mind drawing blanks.
“Because it’s a distraction,” Blossom says honestly as she looks up and smiles at him.
“Well, I can’t deny its effectiveness.” Anon chuckles a bit at the situation.
“Sweeps was the same way. I’m glad I can help at all.”
“Well, it’s appreciated,” Anon admits. “But seriously, get off. Your fur is making me itchy.”
Blossom shrugs as she climbs off the grouchy human.
“So, what’s next?” she asks.
Anon looks down at his body and can see Blossom’s fur on him. What time of the year is it? Is she shedding more? Great, juuust great. Anon washes himself off before getting out of the bath.
“Get dried, dressed, then bed.”
“Going dream walking?” she asks.
“Probably not.” Anon answers. “Just want to decompress.”
“I get you.”
Blossom gets out of the bath as well and grabs a towel to dry herself. It doesn’t take them long before they’re ready and they walk out of the bath into Celestia’s room.
“I don’t feel right sleeping here when she’s gone,” Anon remarks. “I’m heading to my room.”
Blossom doesn’t say anything as she follows him. They make it to his room in a few minutes and walk inside, Blossom closing the door behind them. Anon doesn’t even pause as he tosses the blanket halfway off the bed, climbs in, waits a moment for Blossom to get in as well, then covers them both. Blossom snuggles up close to Anon as he begrudgingly puts an arm over her.
“This is still weird” Anon states.
“It’s only weird if you make it weird.”
“I highly doubt that, Blossom. Like, who even does this?”
Blossom rolls her eyes. “Actually, a lot of ponies. There are such things as cuddle buddies, you know.”
Anon raises a brow. “Really?” Blossom gives him a deadpan stare. “Huh. I’ve never had that before.”
Now it’s Blossom’s turn to raise a brow. “What do you consider the sisters then?”
Anon shrugs. “I have no idea... Weird?”
“Is that how you describe everything?”
“Yeah. When I don’t understand something, it tends to be weird. I’m an alien, Blossom. There’s still a lot I don’t know about this place.”
“I guess that’s true.” Blossom lets out a yawn. “Ask me anything if you want, but for now, let’s sleep.”
Anon too yawns. “Yeah, I can get behind that.”
Blossom smirks as she closes her eyes. “You already are.”
Anon just shakes his head. “Shut up,” is all he says as he closes his eyes.
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Blossom is moving on the princesses terf.
Good chapter, the interactions between all the characters feel organic and real. Glad you're still working on this story, too many good stories fall by the wayside because the author lost interest. Hope you continue to enjoy writing this story.
8960718
Just posting backlog chaps. Once they're posted the story will enter hiatus. Enjoy it while it lasts.
8960733
Damn, that sucks. But you've come back from every hiatus before that I'll wait patiently once the hiatus hits. Good luck with what I'm assuming to be writer's block.
Hmm really makes me think whether Blossom might be a part of this herd with anon and the sisters (if it actually happens) but still so many questions that could change so many things like the wedding and whether or not chrysalis arrives
But anyway brilliant work with these "new" chapters can't wait for the next chapters
Glad to see what Luna did to Spike is being addressed. I was worried that it was going to be sort of brushed over. Great chapter, can't wait for the rest of the story!
8960733
dont remind me, imma cry when i see that brown hiatus mark
Why is this series so popular? It's just another HiE where the human becomes the center of everything with a dash of OOC pony bashing. It's actually quite infuriating to read.
The more I read the more I hate this story's version of Luna.
Im honestly surprised Chrysalis hasn't gotten in onthis.
8960894
If you think you can write something better you're certainly welcome to try. That's what this site is all about.
8960960
the timeline wouldnt make sense yet, still a lot to do.
Let me be really blunt here, even if I like this story. I can't shake some of the glaring preferences that everyone seems to have for Anon. It's not realistic and often times creates situations where other characters forget about other ponies. Take Celestia for example, she has absolutely no concern for Twilight when Luna mentions the Nightmare. All she cares about is Anon, over Twilight and here sister. There isn't an internal struggle of loyalty to different parties involved. We don't even see Celestia interacting with Twilight at all, like she is cut out from her life. So that means Celestia gets to ignore her responsibilities as Princess by not even interacting with Twilight at a professional level. There is no way that two very important figures in Equestria wouldn't have to converse at all. Clearly Equestria needs the Elements but very little thought is put into keeping such a valuable tool. Celestia is a diplomat, right?
There are more than just these two examples that exaggerate the prejudice this story favors, think Lyra and Bonbon. It makes everything feel 2 dimensional and contrived for Anon. He isn't the only character here. Please fix this, I love other parts of this story but I cringe when this comes up so frequently. So I feel obligated to comment because I care about this story.
New chapter is super yay-time!
-Ru
I'm slightly disappointed that Nightmare Moon isn't becoming even more buddy buddy with Anon.
I'm pleased Spike is being treated like an adult.
And I feel like Blossom is coming on a little hard.
8961558
Let's not forget how Rarity and Rainbow seem to have been written out of the story completely. Even though Rainbow is still missing and probably dead from commiting suicide and yet none of her closest friends seem to care enough to go looking for her. Nope, gotta make sure this nameless human has everyone's care and attention. Also, the only reason anyone is even giving him attention is because Twilight, Rainbow, and Rarity were made unrealistically cruel for no reason other than to ruin their lives. Which by the way, is the definition of "bashing".
So right now we're left with, not Twilight being surrounded by close friends and family that actually care about her in order to help her heal, but Twilight sticking to the one of few people that despises her so that she can eventually learn to worship at the alter of Anon just like everyone else.
8961558
Well, we'll see how things go once I post the remaining chapters. Should take about four months until they're all released.
8962041
8960894
If the story is not for you, leave. Simple.
8962191
It's your prerogative to listen to criticism or not. I was just putting what I thought was a issue for your narrative. Some authors like the feedback some want to stick to their vision. I will keep reading, I have this far already. Your response leaves something to be desired though, it doesn't encourage critical thinking and diverse opinions to ask us to leave. It's no wonder the few that had a different perspective got a lot of down votes. If perhaps I have hurt your feelings for pointing something out that you think is legitimate then I apologise. Like I said before I like this story because it brings me to a different Equestria, where things aren't always alright and perfect. I need a break from perfect. So thanks for the journey so far, I hope my contribution helps.
8962252
My response is based on the fact eight chapters haven't been released yet, that's 32 thousand words, give or take. A lot can happen in that amount, none of it would I be willing to rework and some of the complaints posted I've already addressed. It's also based on the fact I'm tired of this place and starting to loathe the fandom.
I'll log off one day and never come back but for now, enjoy the free content from a fan, not a professional writer.
I can't stop imagining an AU where Anon is into Blossom and through a series of horrible miscommunications, Celestia accidentally gives approval of them being together.
8962252
Friend, the person the author suggested to leave had said "I don't know why this shit is so popular, fuck me another HiE story". He clearly was not a man who wanted to helpfully criticize a story, you deliberately obtuse fool, so don't act as though the author simply can't handle anything other than glowing praise. Stop trying to hide behind a thin and transparent veneer of politeness when you wish to insult someone.
8962429
I imagine an AU where anon develops feelings for blossom an later his hatred for Twilight turns into passion and they make a herd.
8962272
I wanna say sorry for the complains of people that search the site just to shit on fics for not being like they would write it yet are too lazy to write themself.
I also wanna say that your story is among some of my favorit, because of how neither human nor ponies are portayed as perfect.
Too many storys are like that and is refreshing that he is not acting like a lawfull good paladin like all the othere, but more lawfull neutral.
Also while i understand why after hearing so many insults passed off as "Critic" you would wanna leave, it would be a shame with how interesting your stories are.
I would miss your contribution to this site and the fandom.
However if you need a break from all this i do wish you good luck and hope to see you again.
From a actual fan of your work
Ps soory for my gramma and spelling, english is not my first language and i have some trouble with words.
8962272
Fair enough, you wrote ahead. I wouldn't want to go back and change things because one or two people said something I don't agree with. Like I said two times already I was just putting my two cents in but it seems I have upset a few by doing so including you. This Fandom is exausting, I understand and don't want to contribute to that feeling. Really, I thought I was obligated to say something because I like this story, otherwise I wouldn't have bothered. Your good, and your right this is free so I never expected professional. Continue what you have been doing, I wasn't trying give offense just advise.
8962496
It's funny because I was actually trying to be polite and not give offense by choosing my words carefully but still speaking up. I understand the author was referring to the other, but its all one conversation when the replies are chained together. Since I was involved I assumed the author meant both of us.
"I'm not mentally mature enough to handle differing opinions so I resort to insulting people on the internet" is what I got from everyone here. lmao all y'all ganging up on one guy for legitimate polite constructive criticism and y'all instantly decide to have one giant circle jerk of autism. Grow up and stop white knighting where it's not needed.
8965030
Don't be so salty your alt account isn't getting its dick sucked.
8965420
Naw my guy, it's called having friends and sticking up for them. Not that I'd expect your socially inept ass to understand what having friends is like lmao ✌️😎 my friend is nice, I'm not.
8965030
8965420
8965443
Want to start a fight? Take it to DM. I'll make this comment section a graveyard before I let this continue any further.
8965491
Alright, alright, fair enough. I'll stop.
8962272
Ugh, I know where your coming from. Believe me. I put up an Anon-a-Miss fic some time ago and I was getting hassled by this one commenter before I even got to Ch.3! The guy kept giving snide comments instead of legitimate criticism to help me improve. And I don't see the problem here. This story's great! Granted, the constant present tense narrative is a bit distracting, but that may be more of a nit-pic on my part as most writers tend to use past tense for their narratives and present tense for thoughts and dialogue. But like I said, that could be just a nit-pic.
I haven't been on FimFiction in a long time now. I've completely lost interest in the show, especially after season 4. I'd decided to come back here for nostalgia, and discovered this story again after 3 or so years since I'd last read it. And I've got to say, the OOC of Twilight and majority of the cast is actually a breath of fresh air. I felt that this change in their personalities was necessary for them to feel more... well, like characters that make mistakes with heavy consequences.
I'm happy to have rediscovered this story, and I truly am sorry for the hassling of the younger audience this site brings with it. I will be quite upset when this story ends along with whatever projects elsewhere you may have done on here. If you continue writing, I'd like to know where just so I could follow whatever other project you may work on outside of this site, if you don't mind.
I hope you at least enjoyed writing this story and developing the characters. See you next chapter. (Well actually I'll see the next chapter soon because I'll be donating this week.)
Have a nice day, and thanks for tolerating the word vomit.
8960710
Maybe his mojo with the mares is because both Princesses are very interested in him? If he's the special somepony of them then he must be especially desirable in every mare's eye. Ponies tend to worship everything the Princesses do. That or Blossom's just a little bit affectionate and has no idea what personal space means.
I just wonder when Celestia and Luna will figure out the apparent planetary thickness of this human's skull in regards to their desire for him. Dancing around the subject and being coy isn't going to give him a clue, they're going to need an orbital strike.
I am very concerned about Luna here. So just to be clear, due in equal parts to her hatred of Twilight and her fear of a new Nightmare, she was going to ruin Twilight both mentally and emotionally? And despite knowing how angry Anon got about it, she doesn't really seem to regret it at all. I'm going to guess that Luna is going to wreck her chances with Anon.
Keep up the good work man, this stuff is gold just like the rest of your work. Hell, I was away from here for about a year and your work was one of the reasons I came on back (not to mention I really need to get my own stuff finally uploaded). Ignore the pot-stirring, primordial pit stains that now seem to be on the site, you make gold and take your time writing and developing the chapters!
I'm really enjoying how the Author puts them Adult Words in those ponies' mouths. I've met very few adults that can actually speak this clearly, and that's the sort of person I'd like to become at some point.
8966092
Oh, hi younger me. Guess I'm reading it for the third time, now.
I feel like Princess Luna is getting too overprotective of Anon.
I still think being mad at Twilight is a little retarded. The story straight up said when she was experimenting on Anon she couldn’t hear him asking her to stop like she was in a daze or how someone with ptsd in a flashback isn’t aware of what’s happening around them. When she has those moments she kinda pseudo unconscious where she isn’t fully aware of her surroundings. Being mad at her for what she did is a little like being mad at someone with a mental illness for doing something. It reminds me of how someone with adhd or something else was so focused on something they didn’t notice their house was burning down around them until the fire fighters got there and pulled her out.
10743978
Either you don't understand what PTSD actually is or you're just ignorant but let me explain to you. It isn't "retarded" at all and the fact that you worded it like that immediately makes me think of you as immature but I'll move on.
She experimented on him. Doesn't matter if she didn't hear him cry out to let him go, she still went ahead with it. She is unhinged in this fic and imo, I can totally see this being a thing if Equestria was real. Do you not remember the episodes where she literally went crazy? All of the pones are unhinged in some fashion as we've seen in the show over time. He has every single right to be mad at her. For you to completely discredit his emotions towards what she did astounds me. The dislikes on your comment prove that I'm not the only one who thinks this.
8961558
Yeah and if nightmare moon was bad then I would hate to see nightmare twilight. Considering we got a taste at the friendship games it doesn't look pretty. Maybe she went about the wrong way and partially for the wrong reason but she was trying to keep the kingdom safe.
10808283
Plus she always been a little obsessed with learning whenever she gets the chance.
He thinks
Bro you guys nearly ruined her life i feel like she got more than enough punishment considering her crime was taking a few blood samples/dna from someone without their consent. In my eyes what she did was kinda like a non-consensual check up at the docters. Bad but not the worst thing in the world.
10743978
You .... really don't understand what trauma and PTSD can do to a person .... like holy shit.