Enemy within
Luna storms out of her chambers just as Anon finds himself back in the waking world. She’s working to collect her scattered thoughts, but the bubbling anger over Nightmare Moon isn’t helping her think critically right now. Not even Anon’s voice can reach her as she marches back to the barracks. Because of a lapse in judgment, Luna has put Anon in danger!
“Luna!”
Her thoughts consume her as she pauses just as Anon stops a few feet away. Why did this have to happen now? The changelings are already on the move and now she has to deal with this? She can’t afford to ignore the invasion of those bugs, but leaving that demon to her own devices is just as disastrous. The only saving grace is that Anon cannot use magic. So while his mind may be corrupted, he can't do magical harm to those around him or turn into a “nightmare” as far as she knows.
This is truly a worst-case scenario. She cannot delegate her time to destroy that parasite yet. The thought sickens her but Anon is on his own. While he appeared lucid when they spoke moments ago, she is confident that he’s losing control to that monster, even if he doesn’t realize it yet. Then again, perhaps he lost control long before she occupied his consciousness?
Why would he ask to meet her otherwise? There’s no reason for him to be concerned about that leech! Luna’s stomach churns at the mere thought of it. She should’ve put her hoof down at that point, but her fondness for Anon made her soft and she allowed him to do as he liked. And as a result of that, she has found herself in this circumstance. She has learned her lesson and will not make the same mistake twice.
Despite her resolve, she is powerless to quiet the hatred and dread coursing through her veins.
“If you are as sane as you claim to be, Anon, I urge you to maintain your distance,” Luna warns. “I cannot contain the fury that is raging inside me. I require time to figure this out.”
She is aware that she is being harsh, but he will understand after his mind has been cleansed. With nothing more to say, Luna proceeds to walk away.
“You know what’s funny about all this? When I found out about Nightmare, I didn’t treat you like this.” She doesn’t acknowledge him and continues on. “I guess I found the limit of your friendship.”
That catches her attention as she pauses mid-stride. She needs to keep in mind that he’s only saying these things because of Nightmare, but that doesn’t ease the wrath inside of her. She tried to steer him from this fate and yet he didn’t listen.
“You never understood the fire you were playing with. Lapping up a corrupt narrative, being charmed by a demon and led with your curiosity. You became a perfect pawn, just as I said you would. Nonetheless, my words rang hollow with you. You scorned my emotions, my past with that monstrosity, in order to sate your selfish desires.” Luna pivots to face him. “Can you declare with a clear conscience that I’m the bad friend here? Having prepared your bed, now it is time to lie in it.”
Luna immediately regretted it as soon as it escaped her muzzle. Anon’s eyes grew for a moment before everything became blank. For Anon, the pain inside of him was so intense that not even Nightmare’s influence was taking off the edge. Luna didn’t say anything he wasn’t already thinking in the back of his mind. Still... Hearing her say it felt like a slap in the face. And he deserved it.
All this time, despite how Luna felt about Nightmare, he ignored her. His thoughts stray to everything that’s happening right now... Perhaps if he had kept his mouth shut about Ponyville, everything would’ve been better? Things could have continued as they were, day after day, and the only one suffering would have been him. Yet, he chose to be selfish by involving the Princesses.
The world would’ve been better if I didn’t exist.
Nightmare is enraged. Since Anon woke up, his thoughts grew so unstable that they leaked through her isolation spell. In whispers she could hear his uncertainty about confronting Luna after what happened in his dream and his desire to be honest about how he felt, as he was this morning. How Luna’s treatment of him was no different than how he was treated in Ponyville and it hurt him deeply.
Then it became darker. He shouldered the blame for every little thing that happened. Nightmare's spell was broken at this moment, as his uncensored thoughts and feelings were echoing in her head. It made her ill that he would feel this way, and that the person who was causing him to feel like this allegedly loved him.
All these emotions welling up inside of her... It's enough to drive a pony insane.
The world would’ve been better off if I didn’t exist.
Nightmare grimaces. She's had enough of this. What's the purpose of being in his mind if she's not there to help him when he needs someone? Wasn’t she tired of being the villain? Then why isn’t she helping him? If there was ever a time to turn over a new leaf, it’s now.
“That’s enough.”
In an instant, the corridor's temperature plummets. Luna's eyes widen as ice begins to form on the surrounding walls and windows, her breath now visible as fear seeps into her very bones. She’s never experienced this phenomenon before, but this is without a doubt Nightmare’s doing.
“There is no blame to be had over what happened. To burden yourself with such trivial thoughts is nothing less than insulting to those who care about you.” Nightmare states. “Would the sun goddess be pleased to discover what I’ve been hearing?”
“N-No,” Anon replies.
“Then what else is there to think about?”
“But, if I just-”
Anon is taken aback when he’s embraced from behind because, for a moment, he swears he felt Nightmare's hooves wrapping around him and her fur brushing against his neck. Luna's body trembles as her eyes focus on a very faint ghostly apparition of Nightmare Moon as she clutches Anon from behind. Her eyes staring daggers at Luna, lips moving, but no sounds are audible.
“I will not deny that if you left me alone, none of this would’ve happened. What transpired at the festival would have but, at the very least, I would’ve remained locked away, forgotten by all but Luna herself.” Nightmare answers while squeezing him tight. “You are curious, but that is not why you came to see me. It was your kindness. To not leave me abandoned in a void that is so similar to your own.”
Nightmare breaks eye contact with Luna as she nuzzles Anon. “I know you’re confused about whom to trust and, while I cannot tell you everything now, I can promise that I’m done playing the villain.” She snickers. “Though, some habits die hard. So I hope you’ll excuse my attitude until then.”
Why... Why is Nightmare like this? He doesn’t understand. She’s so loving that he nearly believes she is Celestia herself. How did she become the monster history made her out to be? Why is Luna staring at him with such fear in her eyes? There are so many questions whirling around in his head, but in the end, Nightmare is right about one thing.
He was not drawn to her out of selfishness. He just couldn't bear the thought of her being alone, like he once was.
Luna talks about Nightmare corrupting him, and yet she’s the one toying with his emotions! Making him doubt himself! If Celestia knew what Anon was thinking, she wouldn’t hesitate to tell him all the reasons his existence brings meaning to her world. Not just her either, but all his friends. It's amusing how frightening that idea is in comparison to not existing.
To know he has value regardless of his flaws.
Anon hadn’t noticed the smile growing on his face. Is that why he adores Tia? Because she makes him feel as if he has a reason to live? That he doesn’t have to fear being judged when he makes a mistake and she’ll offer him advice should he need it? To guide him but always keep his heart in mind as she does so? He knows how lucky he is and it’s why he doesn’t want to lose her.
Anon’s smile dwindles. On the other hand, Luna... He is always reminded of a kid being scolded. As though all he is capable of is making mistakes that she must fix. He hates this. Despite the fact that he poured his heart out for her, she has trampled on it. Aren’t they supposed to be friends? Even with Nightmare in his head, she doesn’t have to treat him like the enemy!
Anon chuckles pitifully to himself. Maybe she’s right in thinking of him as a helpless child. The fact he’s so emotionally fucked that he can easily be broken down does put into perspective how pathetic he is. Anon is finding that his unwavering loyalty is holding him back. He’s tired of being silent and he will not take this abuse anymore. Luna’s gaze returns to Anon as the visage of Nightmare fades.
“You’re right, Luna. Everything that’s happening right now, that’s on me.” He replies quietly, perhaps too calmly for Luna. “The way you’re treating me, that’s on you. Though maybe I should be grateful? It took some time, but now I’m beginning to see what you really are.”
Luna’s fur stands on edge. “And what is that?”
“A monster.” He fixes his gaze on her, giving her a look of pure hatred she has never seen from him before.
“You are not yourself,” Luna exclaims, as the ice creeps up her hooves. “Leave it at that; you will understand when I expel that demon from your mind.”
“For so long I thought you were my friend.” Anon continues. “I took the blame for everything you did. Believing it was for my sake or that I influenced you to do so. The truth is, you did that all for yourself. Pretending as if it was for your “friend”. Yet, I never asked for you to tell Spike about Ponyville. Nor did I ask for you to hurt Twilight. That was your doing, no one else’s and I will not take the blame anymore.”
Luna averts her eyes from Anon's scorching stare. “I never wanted you to believe it was your fault. I was only trying to protect you.”
Anon rubs his face. “Do you know why I avoid dreaming?”
“What does that have to do with anything?” Luna inquires, but when she faces him, she can see how hurt he is.
“After all we’ve been through, you still don’t get me. Funny because Nightmare knows why I avoid dreaming.” That causes all the fur on Luna’s body to stand on edge. “Maybe it’s time for me to wake up.”
Anon then turns and walks away silently. Luna reaches a hoof out to him but stops as she sets it down. The cold aura retreats inside of him and she can only reflect on what he said... She cannot blame him for how he is right now. This is all Nightmare’s doing, she’s sure of it. However, she needs to set her plans for the Changelings in motion first, then she can focus on how to remove that filth from his mind.
Anon is wandering the hall before stopping and leaning his back against a wall. He’s tired of all this. He slides down the wall, sits, and follows Nightmare's instructions, isolating himself to bear the weight of his emotions. His face sinks into his hands, tears fill up his eyes as the desire to puke becomes stronger in his throat. Life is a cruel and long joke that never ends...
When push comes to shove, Anon is getting a glimpse of the true nature of those around him. To think his worst enemy was willing to put herself in harm’s way to protect him, but Luna was ready to toss him aside without care. He’s not sure if he wants to laugh or cry over how stupid he is. His mind, however, relaxes when the idea of Tia takes the place of everything else.
She is the only constant he can rely on at the moment. Despite the terror in his heart, he knows all he wants to do is be honest with her. His life may be a joke, but he will not make this relationship into one by lying to her. Honesty is the very least she deserves, and now that Nightmare is in his mind, he cannot keep that a secret anymore. Anon undoes the isolation as his thoughts come together.
“Nightmare... I’m going to tell Celestia about you. I don’t know what will happen but I’m sure she’ll understand if I explain it to her.”
There’s extended silence before Nightmare responds. “This will undoubtedly bring a wedge between the sisters.”
Anon can’t help the small smile on his face. Once again, she’s bringing up his worries instead of trying to convince him otherwise.
“They're going to be fine.” Anon's thoughts turn to Nightmare.
“If you trust the sun goddess as much as you do, then there’s nothing to worry about. Now is the time to act, before you lose your edge.”
Anon inhales deeply to re-center himself. Maybe Luna is right. Maybe he’s lost his mind, but he wants to know everything about Nightmare, and he can only hope Tia will hear him out. Though, with everything that’s happened, he knows this will be an uphill battle.
Twilight is startled awake as fear creeps in as she takes a look around a room she is unfamiliar with.
“W-Where am I-AH!” Her comments are cut short by the excruciating agony emanating from her horn. She can’t hold back the tears, as it feels like her horn is about to crack.
“Nurse! Nurse!” cried a voice beside her, but the pain is so severe that she can only see white flashes of light.
Time slips away from Twilight as the pain becomes indistinguishable from the solitary tone echoing in her ears. That doesn't last long, as she is jolted back to reality. In her stupor, she notices a unicorn nurse standing by her, as well as Rainbow Dash.
The nurse turns to Rainbow. “She’s going to be a little out of it until she’s fully rested. Under no circumstance is she to cast any spells or else the damage may become permanent.”
Rainbow only nods in response as the nurse walks away. Twilight hasn’t pieced together what’s going on as she aimlessly looks around the room, trying to figure out where she is. The pain from her horn slowly dies down and with that, her thoughts make sense. Her promise made with the Princess, how she passed out, and now she’s in the infirmary.
“H-How did I get here?” Twilight asks.
“That stuff can wait, the nurse said you need to rest.”
Twilight shakes her head. “I can’t leave you alone.”
Trying to force herself out of bed, Twilight is shoved back down as Rainbow holds her down.
“Just!” Rainbow takes a moment to calm down. “I’m not going anywhere. Ok? Just, please, get some sleep.”
Even with all the uncertainty in her heart, she can’t deny a familiar look to Rainbow that she hasn’t seen in a long time. Her unwavering loyalty to her friends. There’s also the fact that she still doesn’t have her wings anymore, so any chance of her trying to harm Anon is mitigated for the time being. Twilight gives Rainbow a nod and relaxes.
“What did the nurse say?”
Rainbow rubs the back of her neck. “Um, something about depleting and overloading?”
“I’m not surprised.” Twilight sighs. “I’ve been out of practice with my magic for some time. The strain of all those spells in such a small amount of time has undoubtedly caused some damage.” She can see Rainbow’s concern. “Though, nothing a little rest won’t cure.”
Rainbow looks relieved but also confused and sad.
“Twilight... Am I the reason you’re here?”
“Well, I suppose it depends on your point of view. On one hoof, I made all of my decisions on my own, but on the other hoof, I made them because of you. I went to such lengths to protect you, yet it was only because of what you did that I had to go to such lengths in the first place. No matter how you look at it, we’re both equally responsible for why I’m here.”
“I don’t understand.” Rainbow hangs her head low. “Why am I the bad guy?”
“You’re not the bad guy, Rainbow,” Twilight says honestly. “You’re just confused. I know right now you have no idea what’s going on, but I’m going to help because that’s what friends do. Right?”
For the first time, Twilight can see a hopeful smile from her friend.
“Yeah.”
“Get some rest, I’m not the only one who needs it.”
“I guess you’re right.” Rainbow walks over to a larger couch, lays down, and is out like a light.
Twilight can only watch Rainbow as she rests. She’s always been a hard-headed mare, but Twilight believes that teaching Rainbow will be easier to solve than some of her other friends. Twilight lies back and closes her eyes. There’s no reason to think about that stuff now. She can’t expect herself to do anything in her current state, so she might as well recover and take things from there.
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I wish her luck in getting rarity to grow up. Applejack needs anger management so she can control her temper better. Rainbow now that her friend has been hurt protecting her from her actions might actually smarten up. I love this series. I can't wait until the next chapter.
It’s always a pleasure whenever you update a story. I love how some of the things and relationships that were broken in “how many friends have you made today”, are starting to be resolved, albeit slowly.
Take care of yourself <3
With the way things are going, starting to wonder if it'll end up being NM that ends up with him instead of luna
Luna has had this coming for a while. I'm going to enjoy seeing this crash over her head. She's still in denial and will only dig her grave deeper before she digs her way out. It'll only get worse from here, but I'm excited to see how this plays out.
Credit to the author though. This Nightmare Moon arc has so far been paced to perfection.
interesting, the Tia and Luna dynamic is shaping up into a very unpredictable outcome
Good chapter, I thought you did the emotions well
Wow anon is a dick.
Honestly, I feel like calling Luna a monster was a bit harsh.
I won't deny that she's horriboy blind to the rest of the situation, but it feels like too sudden a change in mood.
Maybe I'm imagining things.
It was worth the wait to read this chapter. I love the tension that is building.
Always worth the wait!
10918182
She didn't have to tell Spike what happened, or go to such lengths, but she did it anyways. If not a monster, then she's a sociopath at best.
Damn. Luna is going to be heartbroken. I hope she doesn’t do anything irrational to make it worse as characters in this story tend to.
This is a really good chapter, 100% worth the wait and i am looking forward to cel learning of nightmare
Luna has been through a lot. While what she has done isn’t acceptable I do hope she can repair her relationship with anon. Nightmare moon was as much a part of Luna as she is herself,and if she can’t accept what happened to herself then she will never grow. But I understand such trauma is very hard to overcome. Maybe this will be the kick needed to get the help she needs. She is as much a victim as the perpetrator in this case.
For a second i thought anon was going to go on full rage mode, in a way he technically did.
Keep up with the story I’m loving it.
Another excellent chapter!
10918182
I don’t think the nightmare is evil, but at the same time, all of this happens just after it’s inside him? Hmmm
Gods above I can't adequetly describe how much I love this story and how well you convey the characters thoughts/feelings. With every chapter I grow to love how you depict Nightmare Moon and I'm super invested in where the story goes from here.
In this chapter it has shown how Luna in her mind must have everything perfect In Her way or she will lash out. What Anon said to her is harsh, yet also the truth. Luna is becoming more of a monster then she realizes while he is actually helping to redeem Nightmare Moon. It will be interesting to see how Tia will take this revelation in the next chapter as well as seeing how Twilight handles her new duties in dealing with Rainbow Dash.
10918138
Did you forget how much he went through?
Anon is really idiotic in this chapter. He has no justifiable reason to be angry at Luna, because she's right. She wanted to protect him from NMM, but he didn't listen. Luna's only fault is not putting her hoof down and outright cutting off any and all communication between NMM and Anon the moment she found out it was happening. Luna herself has every reason to believe NMM is manipulating and using Anon for nefarious purposes, because NMM has never shown Luna she can do anything else. Plus since NMM has forcibly possessed Anon she can't be trusted to not be a using him in so.e manner. If she were to willing leave him then it would begin to prove her trustworthy.
Catches
Damn, things are getting intense in tge Luna department...though I feel like its only gonna get crazier from here.
(Still dont know how I feel about Rainbow dash tho.)
I think i only made it half way through this chapter until i decided I was done. I used to enjoy this story but it has devolved into a guy who is so emotional fragile that he needs a paragraph to explain every single thought... i know this has been happening for a long time now but, I'm literally tired of hearing about it. This story stared interesting with the whole HiE with bad actors that are the main 6, too a case study with a character that needs severe psychological help... it's not fun anymore. I'm taping out my dudes.
I love this new chapter can't wait for what's coming in the future
10918981
Maybe but is behaving as badly as the person you are against any better. Nightmare may give her a hard time but so far she also been a hard truth for luna when she didn't want to hear it. Beating up Nightmare because you don't like what she has to say isn't very adult for a thousand years old alicorn. Nightmare hasn't been mean to him and has actually helped him of her own free will. Luna chose to hurt spike and twilight with one blow. Anon tries not to hurt anyone if he can help it. She just doesn't want to see that she became the monster that she fears.
10918624
Maybe harmony wanted luna to make peace with her dark side and accept that she isn't perfect even while doing good but since she refuses to harmony decided to separate the two until she grew up some. She acts like he a monster but he still the same as ever.
10922419
Or he hops around on them
While I sympathize a little bit to Luna’s reaction about NMM, I do think she deserves At least some sort of punishment for her actions with Spike. I definitely felt like she got off kinda easily for purposely hurting a child for literally no reason. Especially since it seems like Spike one of the the few people in Ponyville that was on friendly terms with Anon.
To our knowledge, none of them know how or why this happened, and NMM may not be able to return to Luna even if she wanted to.
Luna does have good reason to believe the things she does, but I don't think we've heard the "other side of the story" NMM mentions in earlier chapters (or was it the previous book?). For all we know, NMM could have been reigning Luna back a bit at times. Maybe not, but it's a possibility to consider.
Or maybe NMM really has been nothing more than an evil [REDACTED], but is truly having a change of heart. Or it's an act.
So sure, maybe Anon is an idiot for ignoring the warnings of someone in a position to know more than him about something, but he also had reasons to doubt them.
And this just may turn out to be the thing they all need. Luna is finally rid of NMM, NMM is finally able to change her ways, and Anon gains a companion that can calm him when nobody else can.
Wow that was intense. Great chapter! If I'm being honest, I feel both of them are at fault. But that is easy to say since we can see everything that is happening, and the charectars cannot.
Anon was pretty harsh, if I were to take a guess, I think nmm is doing it, perhaps unintentionally. Because I think it is unfair of Anon to call her a monster, and say they've found her limits to their friendship. After all, she asked to be alone so she could think, something Anon should normally be able to sympathize with, not to mention understand.
That is the reason I think he is affected by nmm.
But just to be clear, I still like Anon a lot. This is not a critique of the story. Just my thoughts on the situation.
Gonna be honest here, when the apperition of Nightmare was described, my inner weeb cried out
"BEHOLD THE POWER OF MY STAND! NIGHTMARE.MOON!"
Thanks again S-B for another amazing chapter. I started reading this series today and I have to say I'm really enjoying it, definitely one of the top Anon stories out there thus far. I'm excited to see what happens next with with a possible changeling invasion, Anon and Luna's sort of brake up here, and the consequences of Rainbow Dash's near homicide of Anon there. Good luck with your next chapter, and as always have fun writing.
This chapter definitely was worth the wait. i'm looking forward to seeing what happens next. patiently. *morosely hits the reload button again...*
Oh shoot. It came out much stronger than I thought it would.
I wonder how Big Momma is gonna react and how quickly the healing can begin.
Can't really blame Luna here, darn it's all a comedy of misunderstandings
I can't believe this came back while I was away from the fandom. I've been reading since the first chapter of How Many Friends, before I even made an account here. Its been an incredible journey, and I'm really glad to see it again.
I really do feel bad for Luna here, even though she's the one who sowed these problems.
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"You've been the monster all along Luna, but you can't hold me back anymore. For I have my stand, 『Mare in the Moon』 with me!
"Anon, what in tartarus are you talking about."
"It's a human thing. I've always wanted to do that."