Arbanis
Joined 27th Jul, 2016 ·
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This was an great read a little unfocused on where you were going with the story but it was a lot of fun to read, I hope you will see spikes turn for this story. I wonder how well Flurry Heart was ruling while he parents were away.
depend need more male flash sentry lol
What is with those massive empty spaces? Were there supposed to be drawings there?
Not bad, I liked the hypnosis and some scenes, but a little too forced a couple of things
Gah I love to read this but he huge gasps are pulling me out of the moment every time
8444135
The big gaps?
Sorry, didn't realize they'd be a problem - they were endemic to the way we wrote it, and some of them are valid section breaks.
I can try and reduce them down if that would help?
8444141
Yeah cause the huge breaks mid patsgasg is really irritating to scrol the length of what feel like a page if blank space.. Page break works on all devices.
Space core: " so much spaaaace!"
8445245
I've edited chapter one - does that look better?
8445451
Yes althoug most transition use ---- or even
for scene change. Just thought I let you know
8445818
While that's true, going through and determining what is and isn't a scene change would be quite painful!
8445900
Not really. You don't bed hat much of a gap between scene. If lome 20 lines of nothing Love to read more but just gah
8456955
What I mean is that the way the fic was written it has all these gaps in. I can reduce the size of the gaps relatively easily, but they're not all scene changes and so marking the ones which are would be somewhat harder.
I love your story I hope that you take a second part and wait to see your new stories 👍
Bummed I didn't find this sooner, overjoyed that it plopped on my radar for me to enjoy now.
This is hands down my new favorite fic, this tickles nearly every single one of my fancies in the best way possible and even has my girl Gildy in it. Def gotta check out your other stuff now, hope to see more from you in the future.
Absolutely fantastic story!
8457617
Have you tried using the fix paragraph button in the format menu?
9526001
If I did that it would close all the gaps, including the actual scene changes.
9526018
Oh OK, even though most authors use horizontal line breaks or/us for their scene changes but OK, on the past anyway no point in splitting hairs
9526320
Yeah, at some point I need to go back and actually clean up the scene breaks. It's just a big job; I'm doing my best to do it during the posting process for my more recently posted fics.
9526322
Well it’s a good thing you didn’t use equal signs. I do want an author that use them for a time and since I read using the reader function you were hear equals said 100 times XD
Twaddle? I’ve never heard that word before...
11297904
It means nonsense. Foolishness. Silly talk.
That sort of thing.
11298373
ah ok, thanks