• Member Since 14th Sep, 2017
  • offline last seen Yesterday

ShadowedKnight68


"Some people just need a high five....in the face....with a chair"

T

James is a twenty eight year old man who is driving to meet his girlfriend, they have been holding a long distance relationship for a long time now, but James wanted to surprise her by visiting her, but on his way there he feels a strange tugging sensation in his chest, he is knocked out by a strange force and everything goes black, when he wakes up he finds himself laying on the forest floor, he soon discovers that he is no longer in his body.





Edited by https://www.fimfiction.net/user/272063/Organical

Chapters (7)
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Comments ( 65 )

He closed the box and held it close to his chest "ok I don't care if I look like this I'm gonna get to Elizabeth and I'm gonna purpose to her" he said to himself "maybe she'll like it? She does really like the show..." He had to admit he wasn't to confident in this.

It's "Propose" darling

I'm not gonna nitpick through this story but I give this a 7/10 So far. Keep continuing this, this has potential to be a great story. Little rough 'round the edges but you'll improve.

And why did you turn off the ratings?

Story is pretty good, you just need an editor.

8426855
thanks and yeah pretty much my first time really writing

and I didn't know I turned them off..

8426949
yeah I don't know how or where to get one..

8426953
It's probably just me. Your welcome! :rainbowkiss:

8426961
Maybe I could, just maybe?

8426967
if you would like to id be very happy if you did :twilightsmile:

8426973
thanks, so to do it all I need to do is set that password right? then send you the password?

loving the story so far keep up the good work

Great story. A few missing commas but still really good.

A comedy-drama-adventure-tragedy... So you're aiming for the level of "Adventure Time", "Gravity Falls", "Mighty Max", and "Steven Universe"... them's some big foot prints to step into.

And you say this is your first story ever... I do hope you're at least thinking the plot through carefully and outlining.

Interesting idea, minor spelling errors to deal with though

8428351
well im not trying to make it as good as those shows, that would be nearly impossible for me, but I have seen almost all those shows you listed so I could make this story almost as good? but I don't know we'll just have to see.

and yes I am making a plot for it

8428709
yes I have an editor whos really helping alot

The universe chuckled darkly at the poor fool who decided to jinx himself.

The universe's voice sounded an awful lot like John DeLancie... :raritywink:

Wait. wut?

So Human Guy is now in Chrysalis' Sister's Dead-But-Somehow-Mysteriously-Recreated-Body?

Why is this happening even?! :applejackconfused:

8450921


The next chapter will explain somewhat but the rest of the mystery will be explained with the rest of the story

Sooo I waitet ONE full day and no new chapter NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
:twilightsmile:

8464244

Well I did just post two new ones, I'm afraid you'll have to wait a bit to read the next one, it's still being written

8464355
I know I know its joust hard to stay quiet if you a bit over hypet

8464364
It's really good to hear someone is this excited for my story though, I'm glad you like it so much

Well, no one can say I didn't give this a chance.

You reaaaaaaaally should have focused on the goofball comedy. I might have given the terrible pacing, frantic escalation, feeble characterization, and grating plotting a pass.

But now it's trying to take itself FAR too seriously for a ridiculously cliché idea.

8465217

Huh well I'm just trying to write what I like, just trying to get it out there.

Sorry you didn't like it

8466573
what are we even doing honestly?

Rainbowdash shot through the sky hiring changeling's out of the sky

:rainbowdetermined2: you’re hired, you’re hired, get the easy sector of ponyville! Clear those clouds! Chop chop!

Changeling 1: did...did we just score new jobs?

Changeling 2: uhh, looks like it.

8470777
Also thanks for noticing that it's now fixed

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO CNAT BE OVER:ajsleepy:
Or will there be a sequel:pinkiesmile:

i hope a sequel coming out soon from this fanfic...

Well i have to wait for a sequel(is there's a posibility of course) c:

8475264

I'm really glad you liked the story enough to want a sequel

8474665

Yes it is over, the story was my first in here and I'm glad some people liked it

And who knows? :trollestia:

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