• Member Since 6th Aug, 2017
  • offline last seen August 20th

Crystalbreeze


Hello! I'm Crystalbreeze. Micro/Macro stories are my thing, I love reading and writing them. Hope you do too :D

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Hi, my name is Kyle Sheldon and I'm a simple 19 years old boy. I have a good life with my tiny friend, Twilight. She is a purple pony with wings and a horn. She is so adorable.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 42 )

Poor twilight maby she can shrink kyle.

Well, good idea. I think this can make a lot of sense. But my first thought was that the magic isn't as great in Earth as in Equestria.

Nice chapter.
I'm curious where it goes.
For example: Where did she come from and why is she there?

I've got a feeling this story was partly inspired by this cute a video:
[removed]

While your writing has no obvious grammar/spelling errors it's quite a "primitive" style.
I recommend you to have a look at the Writing Guide, especially this chapter (show versus tell).

Edit: If you reply to a comment use the reply-button (on the top-right). This way I would get a notification. Additionally it's easier to figure out which answer belongs to which comment.

8426364
I didn't expect that you find that video. And yupp, the idea partly came from it. Sorry for all of the errors in my stories. I try my best to don't make errosrs in the script, but it's a little bit difficult to me, because I'm not american or english. Thanks for writing this comment.

8426418
That video isn't exactly unpopular. For example, it was even in the Top 10 list of the month. (You implied you don't want it to be found, so I removed it.)
But like I said, I didn't found any "errors", so don't be sorry about it. (You shouldn't be sorry either way.)
I was more referring to the sentence-structure and how you explained everything.
For example, look how many sentences started with "I verb...".

Edit: Sure a simple, hopefully constructive comment deserves a Watch? I'm not complaining, but still...

8426357
Maby just for a few hours tops.

You are forgetting commas example:
A few hours later,

This story is soooooooo cute I’am going to read this again next time.

8457300
Thanks. I tried my best to make another cute tiny pony story after "Batie and you".

By the way:
The video I mentioned above got a sequel.
Will this stay an One-Shot or will there be more? (Chapters or seperate stories.)

8485545
Pls more chapters... I love this tiny pony in a humans house.

8519440
Okay. I'll make more.

8519443
But it will be a bit difficult, because this story is about Twilight. Would you like to read another LONG tiny pony story from me, which is similar like this?

8519450
Umm... Reading it now....maybe you can merge them all?

8519463
Yes I can. But then I need to change everything about the story. The title, description, content and some other things. You know it's hard from me to make a story. Creating all the acts in mind and write it down in english language. I need time to have a brainstorm and some days to write one, or two chapters.

8519473
Lots more complicated that I thought

8519501
Aha. But you gave me a very good idea, because I didn't write any long tiny pony stories before. As I finished my last story, then I'll make it.

8519553
And the giant ponies too! :yay: YA-A-A-A-A-AY! :yay:

8519558
Ahhhh giant ponies!!! lol I'm joking I would love to- (reads your other stories) ... ._.

8519562
Thx. I'm the fan of the ponies, who's got size difference. (not because the sex stories....I hate those)

8519568
Let's make fimfiction great again with the e and t rated stories!!!

Comment posted by DAMN HAMSTER deleted Dec 17th, 2017

8519610
Did we read the same "story"?

8622532
The bad grammar, awkward/weird interaction, complete disregard for basic writing conventions (Show Don't Tell being one example), and blatant wish fulfillment constitutes a good read?

8622741
It's all about quality content and plot development

8623045
What quality? This guy was just talking about the stuff he was given and a random, miniature OOC.
The plot (if there's anything that can be called as such) consists of "muh feelings" (if even that).

8623227
Hey, that is my FIRST story... I am still getting a feel on how I write, ok.
And put your criticism on my story in my story's COMMENT section, not on someone else's story

8623233
I was talking about this "story", Copernicus. I didn't even know you had a story, but if what I said also pertains to your writing, well...yeugh.

8622741
Okay.....this was enough. I can't help that the grammar in my stories is bad, and I can't help that I didn't born in america, or england. And thanks to this I can't write stories with perfect grammar. Fortunately so many people ignores the mistakes and focuses on what the fanfic is about. My stories got so much likes and just a few dislikes. So after all of this leave these stories alone and criticize those stories, what are really bad! Not mine, because it took so much time to write these and I also needed to use the translator many times. In the end I could say when I posted them and got the positive comments that it worth it.

8624441
That's a cop out and you know it. My mother's side legally came over from a non-English country (as have so many others) and they never once used any excuses for not knowing the language, choosing to learn and master said language instead.

You're just not invested in writing.

8624492
Think what you think, but enough of these criticisms and leave my stories!

8624501
If I've said anything that isn't true, by all means please correct me.
That's not sarcasm btw.

8624508
Okay, well if my grammar is bad then in the future it will be better. You know I learn english from nursery and now I'm really good at it. I said this so much times, but unfortunately I can't say more.

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