Meetings and Possible Friendships
Dawn Wing, Canterlot Palace
FPOV Perspective — Thomas Oliver
'I'm still getting used to this place, this “Canterlot” though it does sound like a somewhat poor pun of 'canter’ and 'Camelot’ which was King Arthur's intended peaceful city.
A pipe dream, unfortunately. I'm fairly certain that this place also has its own darker side as well. Not sure who Princess Celestia insisted I meet with and in her words 'hopefully forge a strong bond of friendship with’. Meh, ain't in my nature to be rude, unfortunately.
Mhmm, gotta remember to look for a good music store or recording studio. Pretty sure the music I'm familiar with doesn't exist here, so that could be a quick source of income. I'm out.
------- 𝌜𝌐𝌚𝌲𝌡-------
Thomas Oliver sighed softly as he rolled his shoulders, his crystalline aquamarine-emerald eyes deepening to a cool, cautious teal-emerald at the knock on the door. He opened the door to see someone with a Maya blue coat, periwinkle mane and tail with a deeper blue streak, dark blue eyes, and a Cutie Mark of an hourglass. His eyebrow rose slightly at the sight of the mare, whom he guess to be fourteen or fifteen.
“I’m Minuette, and I’m going to escort you to Princess Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns. I go to school there along with several of my friends, though one was recently chosen as Princess Celestia’s ‘personal student’, though I’m not sure why,” the mare said, his gaze flickering momentarily upward to the gently swirling horn that stuck a little over two inches from her forehead, partially covered by her mane.
“And you’re a bit jealous, aren’t you? Don’t be. Sometimes it’s not the attention that we gain that proves to be the harshest, but the pressure we put on ourselves. I know what that’s like, personally, and it’s far from enjoyable,” Thomas deadpanned, shrugging.
He exhaled slowly as he walked after the unicorn mare. ‘Strange that I would end up in a place where… ponies…. seem almost human, as strange as it sounds. Have to remember that assumptions about others make the assumer look like a fool or an ass, depending on perspective. Actions are what prove one’s truth, not words nor assumptions,’ he thought, his gaze scanning around cautiously as they walked, his body tensed for action.
He grimaced at the surge of sunlight as he blocked the sudden light with one hand before he blinked, grimacing for a few seconds before his ears twitched at the soft sounds of a violin and lyre. He noticed a gray mare with a lightly curled raven mane and soft purple eyes. The light green unicorn mare had a pale sea green and cream colored mane.
“Do you mind if I join you? Your music brought something from my memory,” he said.
“Surely, though I am curious what it brought to mind,” the gray mare said curiously.
Thomas smirked slightly as he plunged his hand into his pocket before pulling out his acoustic guitar. He saw the purple eyes widening in surprise as the soft green mare laughed, clapping a bit at the simple trick.
“You'll see,” he teased as he settled close to the pair, though he did notice Minuette nearby with a curious countenance.
His fingers strummed gently and slowly, though he was a bit impressed as the gray mare joined in after a few bars, followed by the unicorn mare.
“You spoke a word and life began,
Told oceans where to start and where to end...
You set in motion time and space,
But still you come and you call to me by name...
Still you come and you call to me by name…
If you can hold the stars in place,
You can hold my heart the same.
Whenever I fall away,
Whenever I start to break,
So here I am, lifting up my heart...
"Lifting up my heart,"
To the one who holds the stars…
The deepest depths, the darkest nights...
Can't separate, can't keep me from your sight,
I get so lost, forget my way...
But still you love and you don't forget my name…
If you can hold the stars in place,
You can hold my heart the same...
Whenever I fall away,
Whenever I start to break,
So here I am, lifting up my heart...
If you can calm the raging sea,
You can calm the storm in me...
You're never too far away,
You never show up too late...
So here I am, lifting up my heart,
To the one who holds the stars...
Your love has called my name,
What do I have to fear?
What do I have to fear?
Your love has called my name,
What do I have to fear?
What do I have to fear?
If you can hold the stars in place,
You can hold my heart the same...
Whenever I fall away...
Whenever I start to break,
So here I am, lifting up my heart..."
"Lifting up my heart,"
"If you can calm the raging sea...
You can calm the storm in me,
You're never too far away,
You never show up too late...
So here I am, lifting up my heart,
To the one who holds the stars…
You're the one who holds the stars,” he sang quietly, his voice low, but it carried clearly for quite a distance. He was very impressed that the unicorn mare joined in when needed.
He was a bit startled by the sudden applause from the crowd, which had easily tripled in size, though it hadn't really escaped his notice that quite a few more of the golden coins were in the violin case nearby than had been before.
“I'm Octavia, and this is Lyra,” the gray mare said, introducing herself and the unicorn mare.
“Thomas Oliver,” he replied. He exhaled softly as Octavia bent down, scooping several dozen of the gold coins into a pouch before holding it out to him. He was a bit confused, but took the pouch. “Where most magicians may pop something up their sleeve, I’m going to prove that I don’t,” he deadpanned, making the crowd more curious as evidenced by Lyra Heartstrings’ broad grin and curious stare as he rolled up his sleeves to his elbows, tightening the strings so they were out of the way and it was impossible for him to slip anything up them without it being seen.
“What are you going to do?” Lyra said curiously.
“Make it disappear… like this,” Thomas quipped, holding the softball sized satchel in one hand before he closed his other hand over it, hiding it from view before he spread his hands, the satchel vanishing into thin air when he’d sent it into his subspace pocket. He heard gasps of awe and surprise as he smirked, picking up his guitar and pushing the neck of the instrument into his pocket, where it sank in like the pocket was far larger than it actually was before the instrument completely slid in. He wasn’t that surprised as Minuette darted to him, sliding her hand into his pocket so it was slightly above her wrist before she pulled it out with a confused look as he grinned.
“Huh?” she said, greatly confused.
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Pretty cool chapter.
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derpicdn.net/img/2017/8/5/1503108/full.jpeg
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Just remember that at this point in the story it is just under two years before canon events have started. Eventually, I'm sure I will reach the point where that particular map will be needed.
Typical problems.
Your "OC" is a Mary Sue and has the charisma of a used tampon.
Show, Don't Tell is nonexistent.
The arbitrary set-up seems to exist only to fulfill your self-insert wish fulfillment.
The dialogue sounds forced and unnatural.
Characterisation is skewed.
The pointless coloured text serves no purpose other than to wreck your reader's nonexistent immersion.
Multiple capitalisation errors (shocker).
Multiple grammar errors (what a surprise).
...
All in all, a complete mess. I can't imagine this being followed outside of the usual self-insert demographic. Have another red thumb.
This comment has been screen capped in case of the author running to mods.
8546399
Don't like, don't bother me with your flames. I'll just add them to a nice bonfire.
8546668
If I've said anything that isn't true, by all means prove me wrong.
I welcome being proven wrong with baited breath.
Liked and tracked, let's see where this rabbit hole takes me. (Puts on mining helmet)