• Member Since 20th Apr, 2015
  • offline last seen Apr 22nd, 2022

Yellow Gate


I have to tell them that last night was a shameful train wreck filled with blind cuddly puppies.

Sequels1

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Hearth's Warming Eve is just around the corner and Diamond Tiara is still without the one thing she wants most... Apple Bloom. But being the young and lively mare she is, Diamond is more than willing to destroy whatever obstacles that are in her way to get what she wants. Such as common sense, like seriously, who needs that when your in pursuit of the heart.

Certainly not that mare!

Art by Shimazun

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 21 )

I liked it! Just a paragraph or two in the middle where you switched from past tense to present tense, but easily editable.

I look forward to seeing more from you.

Well worth reading and following.

8428138
Thank you on both accounts, I tried... :heart:


8427550
I do have a a problem with my past and present tense usage being a bit jumbled. It's something I would really like to improve on in the end. Hopefully with my next submission I keep it clean!

Oh and thanks for the follow, I'm here to entertain, lol.

8429270
Heck, when I write I still have tense issues from time to time.

If you ever need help with editing or something I'm sure me or someone else on here could help out.

In your story description:

Appleblom

:rainbowlaugh: I love it lol, quirky, naive, and a tad suggestive

8429499
Well... That's fixed, thanks for that.:facehoof:

8430232
You know, it's almost eerie how it seemed like you were describing me there for a second...:applejackconfused:

But anywho, I'm glad you enjoyed my thingy I made.

8430270
No it isn't. Apple Bloom is two words.

8437258
One quick google later!:applejackunsure:

Well...:applejackconfused:

I'll just remember that for the next one, lol.:ajbemused:

[Correction, I just went ahead and fixed it.]

Silver Spoon had to leave to Manehattan for a silversmith

So glad to see some pony else using this idea.

8945547
Didn't think anybody would even acknowledge that little line in the story, thanks. To tell you the truth, once upon a time I had a Silver Spoon story in the works that revolved around that idea... Sadly it died like most of my post-college aspirations, lol.

8945581

I paid attention for the simple fact that I use that as the basis of her cutie mark in one of my stories. I just go as far as her stating that a spoon was the first thing she made.

Boi you need a proofreader. The story, while good, was riddled with typos, grammar errors, and improperly-structured sentences.

I'm an editor by trade; hit me up if you want me to edit any of your work in the future.

That, was, AWESOME!

Seriously though, adding Dash in there and her mannerisms reallly added some nice flavor, pun intended, and that loss of innocence, that first kiss moment. Best reaction, such an innocent sweet minded filly that Apple Bloom.

Diamond was just so determined. I loved her all or nothing, go bold approach.

Such a well crafted flow of events that culminated into a hilarious and very immersive read. Had a few good laughs.

I've been away so long, I'll have to see if this some how has a sequel to this universe.

Ever since they hooked up, Muffins has been getting a run for her money for most property destroyed around town.

Ever since they hooked up, Muffins

Muffins

Muffins

Muffins? Who is this...Muffins, you speak of?

Because you have DEFILED the good name of Derpy Whooves, this story gets an automatic THUMBS-DOWN. I will continue reading it to see if it is worth favoriting on the basis of being a DiamondBloom fic, but I will NOT tolerate this...
On second thought, no, I won't.

You should definitely write a sequel

9979133
Have a clopfic Sequel uploaded, however it's not a direct follow up to this story. The three chapter story I had written as a direct sequel was lost with my old computer... Never had the heart since to rewrite it along with several other stories, tragic...:raritydespair:

No matter, Thx for the comment, I do appreciate it!:heart:

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