A Rather Large Adventure

by BradyBunch

Chapter Twenty-eight: Girl Advice and Guy Advice

The sun was only beginning to rise in the east, making Sweet Apple Acres just barely illuminated by soft yellow light. Applejack surveyed her two friends standing side by side with a sharp eye, attuned by years of farmwork and strengthened by practice in the fields.

Freedom Fighter looked sharp and stood at crisp attention--legs straight, head up, eyes wide open and showing the red loops that were his irises. He was still wearing the bodysuit he always wore.

Rainbow Dash was yawning and slumping. She had woken up only ten minutes ago, only then remembering that she had promised to help with Applejack so they could all be at Rarity’s boutique at the same time. Her eyes were groggy, her mane was disheveled, and she was limp.

“All right now, y’all,” she said, snapping both of them upwards so they were both paying attention. “Big Mac n’ Apple Bloom are workin’ in the south fields. Freedom Fighter, Ah want ya ta help ‘em.”

Freedom Fighter saluted. “Yes, ma’am.”

Freedom Fighter’s newfound ability was new and hadn’t been shown to all the girls yet. So Applejack, astonished abruptly, fell back against a tree in complete surprise. Shaking a little, she stammered out, “Y-y-ya can talk now? But... but Ah thought…”

The super soldier shrugged. “I’m not actually talking, miss. It’s just a spell by Twilight.” What Freedom Fighter did not choose to say in his thoughts was that he was tired of explaining it over and over again.

Applejack gave an uneasy grin. “That was mighty kind o’ her.”

“I know, right? I--wait.” Freedom Fighter looked around. Rainbow Dash was nowhere to be seen, startled off by his unheard-before voice. “Where’d she go?”

Applejack spotted a rainbow tail sticking out of a nearby tree and sighed. She then trotted over, lifted up her hind legs, and bucked the tree with all of her strength. Everything in the tree bounced out, including a rainbow-maned pegasus. She lay on the ground for just a second, then slowly got to all fours. “Who are you and what did you do with Freedom Fighter?” she demanded.

Freedom Fighter cast a sly look at Rainbow Dash. “It’s time for me to come clean.” He sighed with feigned remorse. “I murdered him. I’m actually his doppleganger.”

Rainbow’s face registered shock at first, then contorted to one of rage. ”YOU HURT HIM!” she roared. “I’LL HURT YOU!” And without a second thought, she threw a hard right hook at his face.

Freedom Fighter boredly put up his left leg and Rainbow’s hook was blocked. It clanged like Rainbow had punched a steel beam. She drew her hoof back and clutched her throbbing hoof angrily.

“I’m joking,” he said directly to her. “He’s not dead. I mean, I’m not dead. I am very much alive and present and solid.”

She massaged her sore hoof. “Yeah, I know that you’re solid, all right,” she snarled. “You’ve got a real dark sense of humor, you know that?”

Freedom Fighter nodded emphatically at this.

Applejack rubbed the bottom of her chin when she saw how easily he had blocked Rainbow’s punch. “Ah’m impressed,” she voiced to him. “Yer an awfully strong feller. Ya might do well at apple buckin’. Ya know where the south field is?”

Freedom Fighter paused, then slowly nodded. “Yes, I know where south is. I, ah, I’ll... go now.” And without another word he spun around and trotted off to the south.

Applejack then directed her attention to Rainbow once Freedom Fighter had disappeared. “Right, now we’ll work on the north field until we fill ‘bout a hundred bushels.”

Rainbow Dash bulged her eyes. “A... a hundred?”

She smirked. “Welcome ta my life, pardner.”

For the next hour or so, Applejack and Rainbow Dash were hard at work in the apple orchard. Combined, the two of them made considerable progress on their work. Because Rainbow Dash wasn’t as strong in her hind legs as Applejack was, she opted to fly around the tree she was working on and knock the apples off of the tree into the waiting baskets below.

Applejack could tell her heart wasn’t in it, though. The speed wasn’t as fast as she knew she could go. And instead of making small talk and embellished comments about Wonderbolt training sessions or stunts, she was awfully quiet. Applejack noticed this with only a hint of interest at first, but after the first hour, Applejack began to be concerned.

She knocked down another tree’s worth of apples into the waiting basket below and looked at the prismatic pegasus, who had just landed on the ground and picked up a basket handle with her teeth. “Rainbow? Ya feelin’ all right? Yer slower than Ah remember ya bein’, and yer quieter’n a serpent in tall grass. Is there something wrong?”

Rainbow set the basket down with her teeth and sighed. “Sorry, Applejack. I’ve just got a lot on my mind.”

“Like what?” she asked curiously. “The Wonderbolts ain’t got nothin’ ta be worried about. Their next performance ain’t fer weeks. Is it about the Gala?”

“No, it’s not about the Gala,” she replied hollowly.

“Is it that 'ten Elements' rumor?” she asked. Applejack had been wracking her brains in her spare time trying to figure out the truth of it ever since the mysterious carving had been brought up. But try as she might, it was still murky.

“No, it’s not that either,” Rainbow said irritably, looking at the ground.

“Then what is it?” Applejack asked, pausing her work. “Ya know Ah’m here ta help. Ya can trust me.”

“I know,” Rainbow said, kicking over the basket. “...You’re one of my closest friends, Applejack, and you’ve helped me before, but... I dunno about this one…”

Applejack smiled warmly. “Jus’ let it out, Sugarcube. Ah can’t help ya if ya stay silent. We’ll work it all out together!”

Rainbow exhaled. She looked conflicted about what she was about to say, but after a while she finally said, “Okay.” She took a deep breath. “You know... Firestorm, right?”

“Yeh, Ah know him,” she said, a little suspicious. They all knew Firestorm by now. “Why? Was he botherin’ ya?”

“No no no, not anything like that!” she said quickly, waving her hooves. “I don’t know what’s happened to me. But it’s... there’s... there’s something about him…” There was half a smile on her face. Rainbow then looked off into space. “You know, like, how you feel like your insides are about to burst? Or when you meet somepony you look up to as an idol for the first time? Or when... I don’t know... you’re happy and excited to do things?” Rainbow’s voice was distant. “That’s how I feel when…” She then shut her mouth and stayed silent, her eyes going to the size of a pinprick.

“What’re ya tryin’ ta say?” Applejack slyly asked.

Sensing the tone in her voice, Rainbow hurriedly said, “Look, don’t do that! You’re acting like you know something I don’t!”

“And Ah don’t know somethin’ ya do, but Ah’ve got a suspicion,” Applejack corrected with a smile. “Yeh’ve got Firestorm on yer mind, yer awfully quiet, and yer describin’ a weightless feelin’ whenever yer around ‘im.”

Rainbow looked nervous. She wiped her forehead in concern, where a bead of sweat had collected. “So…”

Applejack smirked. “You’ve got a crush on Firestorm, doncha?”

She flew straight into Applejack’s face, shock on her own face. “NO! What, me? Psshh, come on! Wh-what makes you think that?” She rubbed the back of her head anxiously.

---

The first thing Noble Blade registered when he woke up was that he had slept in his suit. He had been so spent from the events of the previous night that he hadn’t bothered to remove it before he collapsed into his bed.

I’m never washing my cheek again.

But then he caught himself. The statement, while sweet, was complete crap. Of course he’d wash himself again. And even if he never washed his cheek, Fluttershy would certainly never kiss him there again.

So that would mean she’d have to kiss him somewhere else instead. The thought made him shudder and clamp his stomach in queasy anticipation.

Regardless, Noble felt immeasurably joyous and eager to talk to somepony, anypony, about something--anything. So Noble hopped out of his bed, stripped out of his suit, shook his thick short blue mane out of his face, did his morning routine of pushups and situps, and opened the door to the dark hallway in Twilight’s castle when he was done. The wide hallways were deserted, and no noise was made in them except for the sound of Noble’s hooves as he made his way to the castle library.

A few minutes later, he opened the door to see, of all ponies, Firestorm in the library. He was in a large velvet seat facing the door with an abnormally thick book on his lap, his head down and his bushy fiery mane sticking up in the air. He paid no attention to the door opening because he was so engrossed in his book. Noble heard him mutter, “Oh, thank goodness,” to the book and saw him slump down in the seat in relief.

“Thank goodness what happened?” Noble asked mildly.

Firestorm looked up to see Noble and, contorting his face into one of shock and surprise, hurriedly chucked the large book onto the table in front of him cover down so Noble wouldn’t see the title. “Oh, uh, hey there. What, ah, brings you to the library at 7:15 in the morning?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” Noble replied, eyeing the book he had chucked suspiciously. “I... didn’t know you could read.”

Firestorm blushed and giggled. “D’aw, shucks! You’re such a flatterer!”

“You’re not the kind of pony who’d spend his time in the library just reading books. You’d be trying to fall back asleep after his insomnia.” He raised an eyebrow at the book he was reading. “Unless you’re reading something to make you fall asleep in boredom?”

“Well, you’re close--hey!” Noble had lifted the book off the table to look at the title, and Firestorm sat up in his seat abruptly. Noble saw the title of the book before Firestorm snatched it up quickly. “What was that for?”

“I only wanted to know what you were reading,” Noble simply said. And he then smiled. “Les Miser Stables?”

“I wanted to know what everypony was talking about when they made those cultured jokes,” Firestorm explained as he flew up and put it back on the shelf where it belonged. “What if somepony makes an inside joke, and I don’t get it because I didn’t read the book? I’m afraid of not getting a good joke because I haven’t exposed myself to that area of pop culture. Somepony makes a joke and it goes right over your head because you didn’t expose yourself to it yet, and so you want to read all the things and see all the things and listen to all the things. But you can only expose yourself to so many things, so you need to make priorities, and you can’t freakin’ decide which comes first!”

“Which part of the book were you on?” Noble asked him, ignoring his rant.

“The part where Pone Valpone gets those two candlesticks from that awesome preacher.”

“...You can read?” Noble asked again.

“Yep.” Firestorm grinned. “Strange, isn’t it? The book's hard at times, but that's okay! Sometimes I like to be mentally challenged.”

“You said it, not me,” Noble observed.

Firestorm looked confused. Then he looked down. “Mentally challenged?” Then he abruptly yanked his head up, a look of outrage on his face. “WAIT, HOLD ON A SECOND!”

Noble burst into merry laughter. After a moment, Firestorm, who was initially glaring at Noble, also cracked a sheepish smile and joined in with him. Then, after the laughing fit had passed, Firestorm decided to get the topic off of him. “So…” His tone turned sly. “How was your date?”

Noble gave a silly grin, not at all bothered by the change in conversation. “Well, if you really want to know, I’m the happiest pony alive.”

“Did you do…” Firestorm lowered his voice to a conspiratory whisper. “It?”

“It? What do you mean--Oh wait a second.” Noble realized what he was talking about. “You mean that it?”

Firestorm smirked. “Yep. That it. Did you do it, then?”

Noble nodded. “I most certainly did.”

Firestorm got out of his seat, flapping in the air. “Ohoho my dude, you went that far? Wild! Did she like it?”

“We both liked it.”

“You did not go that far with her, dude. You’re far too reserved to take that chance with her.”

“But I did! We have officially held hooves!”

Firestorm doubled over in the air, laughing uncontrollably. “Ohoho YES! You’re finally getting some action!” he said victoriously. “Come here!”

Firestorm flew at Noble and embraced him roughly before Noble could object, patting Noble on the back a few times. As they hugged, Noble accidentally took a whiff of him. He gave a look of bafflement, then started to sniff some more. Something was off about him.

The burlesque pegasus drew back and spotted Noble’s face. “Something wrong?”

“There’s something fishy about you.” Noble smiled. “And by that I mean you don’t smell fishy. You smell... good for once.”

“Are you complaining?”

“I’m not complaining! It’s just peculiar. You normally never really care enough to put on cologne, or apply copious amounts of deodorant.”

“If they don’t like my smell that’s their problem.” He shrugged it off.

“But that’s where the problem comes in, you see.” Noble started to pace around Firestorm. “When you hugged me I could feel that your coat and mane were washed and sleek, and that your armpits were dry. You took a shower this morning, didn't you?”

Firestorm grew nervous now. “So?”

“So, why the sudden change in attitude? Knowing you, you don’t do this random act just to clean up. It’s more when I tell you to do it because we’re about to be in an extremely important situation, like appearing in front of royalty or going to the donut shop.”

“Look, I just thought that it was time for me to be a little better in my hygiene habits! So I... took a shower!” He scratched his mane and grinned awkwardly.

“Thou didst take a shower.” Noble lapsed back into archaic speech involuntarily and folded his arms. “Of thy own volition.” He looked at Firestorm for just a second, then shrugged. Then he took another suspicious sniff of the unnaturally pleasant air surrounding Firestorm and he scrunched his face. “Is that Eau de Toilette I smell?”

“Yep,” Firestorm said to him dejectedly after a pause.

Noble punched him lightly on the shoulder. “You’ve got good tastes in cologne, by the way. All this cleaning up... It’s almost as if…” He paused, then a grin came onto his face. “Almost as if you’re trying to impress somepony?”

Firestorm avoided Noble’s knowing gaze. “What? Impress a special somepony? Come on, me? Pshaw, no. I, uh, don’t know what yyoouu... are talking about. Yeah. I’m just, ah, doing this because I want to. That’s it. Final. Finito. Finale.”

Noble Blade looked at him for a minute, and Firestorm looked back at him with a feigned irascibility.

After a moment Noble said, “You’ve got a crush on Rainbow Dash, don’t you?”

Firestorm suddenly gripped Noble hard by the shoulders and shook him back and forth. “HOW DID YOU FIND OUT?!” he shrieked at the top of his lungs.

Then he realized what he had said and let go hastily. “I mean, I-I have NO IDEA WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT! Wh-why do you ask?” he asked, scratching his mane.

---

Applejack leveled her gaze at Rainbow Dash. “Come on, Dash. Admit it. Ah’ve seen ya around ‘im before. Like after the Friendship mission. And... there was sumthin’ in yer eyes there. You were lookin’ at him fer a lot longer than normal. There’s a light in you whenever he makes ya laugh, and ya smile and act smaller than normal when the two o’ ya talk. Ah think ya got feelings fer him.”

Rainbow cast a downwards glance. “Well…” She seemed to struggle to say the next words. Could she? Then she relented. “Yeah... Ever since the castle and stuff. But I really don’t want the others to find out I do!”

“Why?"

“Because if they see a pony like me having a-a…” She concealed “Crush” in a cough, “on him, I--my reputation would be ruined!”

“Your reputation?” Applejack asked shrewdly. “Are ya afraid that the others will look down on ya because of Firestorm?”

“What? No! But it-it-ugh! If they find out I like Firestorm, then my image of being tough is gone!” Rainbow flapped into the air, assuming a heroic pose. “I wanna be tough and unbreakable! The reliable hero Ponyville looks up to! Rainbow Dash isn’t reliant on anypony else! And if everypony else found out that I really, really like another guy, I’d only be seen as a little filly that fell for her crush!”

Applejack “Tsk”ed softly. “You just don’t get it, do you?”

“Get what?” Rainbow demanded.

“That you can be strong and be in love at the same time,” she said as she loaded a bushel of apples onto a cart. “Look at Cadence and Shinin’ Armor. Do ya think either of them’re weak because they’re in love? Ya think they’re soft because they do everythin’ together all the time? Is their marriage happy because they’re both weak?”

Rainbow blinked. Then she sighed. “I guess not,” she admitted.

“See? Ya can be strong and be in love at the same time, ya know. Some ponies think they need ta be a 'strong, independent mare who don’t need no stallion,' but the truth is anythin’ but. Bein’ in love makes ya stronger. Jus’ because ya have a crush on the guy, it don’t mean yer not awesome. Yer jus’ makin’ yerself stronger by lettin’ somepony else inta yer life.”

“But…” Rainbow thought for a minute. “But what if Firestorm thinks that as well, and he’s making me stronger because he thinks I’m weak? I’d be seen as a softie by him!”

“Ah don’t think Firestorm’d do that. What makes ya think he would?”

Rainbow was silent. She had no answer.

“Firestorm ain’t all that much of a battle-scarred warrior anyway. Ah mean, ya see ‘im, and ya wouldn’t think he's a warrior at all. He’s a bit of a softie as well. He ain’t rock-hard all the time. And he don’t want ta be hard around everypony else, either.” She smirked, deciding to be a little playful. “Or maybe he only gets hard when he’s thinkin’ ‘bout you.”

Rainbow recoiled from the double-entendre. “GUAAHH!”

Applejack chuckled madly.

Rainbow leveled a glare at her. “DON’T DO THAT!”

---

Noble just looked at Firestorm, slightly exasperated, but mostly amused. “You can’t hide it from me, Storm. Trust me, I did the exact same thing you’re doing now. You suddenly wearing cologne, your softer self around her, your uncharacteristic interest after her drinking episode--you’re easier to read than a foal’s beginner book.”

Firestorm flapped into the air. “Well, excuuuse me for trying to look out for a, uh, platonic coworker buddy! Is it wrong to look after somepony and think about their well-being?”

“What about the cologne, then? That’s got nothing to do with it?”

“That’s just so she can tolerate my presence.”

“I thought that if ponies didn’t like your smell that was their problem?”

Firestorm’s expression darkened. “This is different.”

“And I know precisely why it is different, my fine, fierce, fiery feathered friend,” Noble responded.

Giving up, Firestorm slowly slumped to the ground with a low, tired groan. He lay there with his butt in the air and his face smushed to the ground for a good few moments, then blew a strand of his mane out of his face. “All right, all right. Fine.” He took a deep breath. “I’vegotacrushonher. There, I said it. I’m done.” He stood up. “But I swear, if you mention this to Freedom Fighter, I’ll draw on your armor in permanent marker again.”

“And why not?”

“Because I’ll never hear the end of it!” He then frowned. “Wow, that actually means something when talking about a mute now.” He then threw up his arms and turned away. “I’ll probably get all these annoying comments from him about me and her sharing a room together or something like that.”

“No, that’s the kind of thing you’d do to him if he got a marefriend.”

“That’s a pretty big if there I hear,” Firestorm muttered before raising his voice. “Look, I can’t let it get out to the others. They’d probably laugh their flanks off.”

“And what makes you think that?” Noble asked.

“Because by now, they all have an image in their heads of me.” Firestorm bounced into the velvet seat he was in before. “I’m that one friend that always pretends like he’s a total chick magnet, but miserably fails every time--on purpose. If I let it get out to the others that I genuinely like a girl, and that I’m actually trying to get her attention, then that image goes kerplop, and then all of a sudden I’m just another pony trying to snag a pony that’s way over his own league. I wouldn’t be special or unique anymore. I…” He faltered. “I’m afraid, Noble.”

Noble listened intently.

“I’m afraid that if I lose myself going after her, my image to everyone else will become dull and uninteresting. I’ll try to become something I’m not. And I don't want to be another guy, I want to be me. You know?”

Noble came next to him and put his arm around one of his closest friends. He could almost imagine it as a situation where soft background music would start playing, so he added it in his brain as he spoke.“Storm... listen to me. I was afraid of that too. But going after another pony for love doesn’t diminish yourself. In fact, it only improves yourself. In trying to impress whoever it is you want to love, you correct the faults you have, and you clean yourself up. That isn’t bad, is it?”

Firestorm looked up. His eyes were wide in realization.

“I’m love-stricken as well. There is not a piece of my spare time where I’m not thinking of Fluttershy. But my image to the others hasn’t changed.” Noble looked up, rolling his eyes to the side. “I mean, do they say I’m just another bland personality? Do they say I’m too much of one of those really annoying Gary Stus that has everything work out for him? Do they say I became a blank slate ever since I met Fluttershy? Do they say I’m dull, uninteresting, unrelatable, and boring?”

“It’s so obvious they don’t need to say it,” Firestorm grumbled.

“Okay, this is not about me!” Noble suddenly flustered, and the background music in his mind shut off with a record scratch.

“I didn’t say anything,” Firestorm said defensively.

“Oh, of course you didn’t. What about what you were implying?”

“I didn’t say anything!”

---

Applejack trotted over to another tree. “Well, Rainbow, if ya want ta be compatible, ya should focus on the things that drew yer attention,” Applejack advised as she knocked another bushel’s worth of apples out of the tree. “What do ya see in ‘im? What pulls at yer heartstrings so much?”

Rainbow eyed her disdainfully at her choice of language, then sighed and loaded the apple cart with another wide basket. “Well, the first word that comes to mind is he’s…” She stared off into space, a distant look in her eyes as she remembered every detail about him. It made her mouth salivate. “Awesome. Just... awesome.”

“Now how did Ah know that adjective would be used,” Applejack whispered to herself. She raised her voice. “Ya wanna expound on that?”

“He’s awesome in every way,” Rainbow responded, hopping off the cart. She started to tick off items by sticking a feather up for each point. “I-I mean, he can do a Sonic Flameboom, he has a sister that’s the captain of the Wonderbolts, he’s a warrior, he’s got awesome weapons, and he helped rescue Twilight! He’s funny, and he’s serious, and he’s really, really chill and relaxed!... except for when he’s not.” Rainbow realized she was rambling, and decided to get to the main point. “I mean, Daring Do’s great and all, and Firestorm’s, like, on par with her on the awesomeness scale, but I see Firestorm a lot more often. If he isn’t the most awesome pony I know, nopony is!”

Applejack fixed her a look. “Do ya think he’s more awesome than you?”

A sudden somber silence fell. The only noise that could be heard was the rustling of the trees and the chirping of the birds in the background.

Finally a subdued Rainbow Dash whispered, “If it means it’ll get him to like me…” Her voice grew even softer. “...Yes.”

Applejack put an arm around her closest friend and spoke to her in a loving tone. “Now, Ah don’t know much in the ways o’ romance. But Ah do know a thing or two about practicality. And the way Ah see it, this is the first time in yer life another guy’s made ya feel this way. If ya don’t take a chance and try ta snag him now, you might end up regrettin’ it fer the rest of yer life.”

How could she? “B-but he’s totally awesome and I’m...normal awesome. Compared to him I’m nothing!”

Applejack looked her square in the face. “Then don’t compare yerself ta him,” she said bluntly. “Comparin’ yerself when yer higher above everypony else was yer problem before, like when we had ta dress up as the Mysterious Mare Do Well all that time back. But now Ah think it’s the opposite way. When ya see yerself as lower than another pony and ya think yer nothin’.”

Rainbow didn’t answer. She was thinking too hard about the realization that had just struck her like a thunderbolt--which feeling she was well aware of, being a pegasus. Did she really think of herself like that? She had always assumed that her inferiority complex was just natural, but now it was suddenly something she had made up herself?

“Comparin’ yerself ta others is the fastest ways to get depressed real quick,” Applejack was saying. “Somepony real famous once said, “Comparison is the thief o’ joy.” So if ya compare yerself ta others so you can feel better or worse, then yer bound fer trouble. This may come as a bit of a shock to ya, but life ain’t a race.”

Rainbow opened her startled mouth to protest, but Applejack stuck her hoof in her mouth before she could say anything. “There ain’t no end prize at the end that only one single pony outta the whole world can earn. Just 'cause somepony else has skills better than yours, it don’t mean they’re worth more than you.” Applejack took her hoof out of Rainbow’s mouth and smiled. “So instead of upsettin’ yerself for no reason 'cause ya think yer nothin’ compared to Firestorm, Ah’d recommend ya compare yerself to you. Ta how ya were in the past. And trust me on this, Rainbow. Yer worth is infinite. Yer one of the strongest, most reliable ponies Ah know. And yer my closest friend, too. And that makes ya worth the world ta me.”

Rainbow Dash shook her head, astounded and a little overwhelmed. “Wow, AJ. I didn’t know you could be so... profound!”

“Farm wisdom.” Applejack shrugged. “Granny Smith says Ah’ll get plenty of it when Ah get ta be her age.”

“That’s crazy. Nopony can live to Granny Smith’s age.”

“Fair,” Applejack conceded.

---

“This is about you, Storm. Not me. So let’s try to work ourselves through this reasonably. What are those qualities you see in Rainbow that made you have a crush on her?”

Firestorm exhaled, scratching his head while racking his brains for the answer. Finally, he sat back in his seat and said, “Well, she’s frickin’ awesome.”

An expectant Noble Blade leaned forward, straining his ears for more.

When no other response came, however, he frowned and leaned back again. “Frickin. Awesome. That’s... all you have to say about her?”

“What?” Firestorm jumped up in his seat and gripped the sides of his head in frustration. “JgekljfgbagbNO! No, not at all! That’s just the best way to sum things up about her. She’s also cool, she’s breathtaking, she’s epic, she’s-”

“You do realize those are all synonyms for awesome, right?”

Firestorm smacked himself in the forehead so hard he fell back in his chair again with a soft floomf. He then pondered for a little while, then after some time said, “Well, she’s pretty good at handling herself. She looks like she can do well on her own. And it’s good, because then she can actually do productive things and can keep life going without me to supervise it. And she’s as fast as me. I like speed in girls. It’s cute if they’re athletic. And she’s cocky, and fun, and seems like she’d be a great pony to hang out with for the rest if my life. And…” He paused.

“And what?” Noble encouraged.

“And she’s hot!” he cried exasperatedly, throwing up his hooves. “I mean, look at her and tell me she isn’t. She works out, but she still manages somehow to keep herself so smooth and trim. And her voice. It-it’s so alluring and has this playfulness to it, and that makes the things she does when she’s excited just so freaking adowable! Plus, the mane. Like, the colors and the shape of it and stuff. I’m not going to find another mane like that anywhere else in Equestria. And her eyes!” He looked at Noble, who had on a gentle smile. “Oh my dude, her eyes! You would think a girl like Rainbow wouldn’t like the color pink, but it looks so hot! I mean…” He paused upon noticing Noble’s expression and he frowned. “What?”

Noble was simply thinking about his talk with Twilight where he had first told her that he had a crush on Fluttershy. It was remarkably similar circumstances, in the same exact same setting in the exact same library. “It seems that you really like her, then,” he said, mimicking the words Twilight had spoken to him.

Firestorm crossed his eyes. “You don’t thay!” he said in a deep, dumbed-down voice.

“What’s with the tone?” It was incredibly different from Noble’s reaction.

“The tone?”

“The ‘I can’t believe you’d say anything so stupid’ tone.”

“It’s obvious, isn’t it?”

“Well, if you really like her that much, I’d recommend you make a move,” Noble advised. “I made the first move, after all, when I first asked Fluttershy on a date.”

“It’s not as though a girl like her was going to make the first move.”

“Unless she really, really likes you. Do you think you’re up to the task of making the first move and getting Rainbow’s attention? Do you have the courage to enter into something deeper than friendship, mister five-time recipient of the Pink Heart of Courage? To stop hanging out with girls and start dating them instead?”

“I’d rather take down Marshal Malice with a rubber chicken,” he muttered under his breath, before raising his voice. “But in the end, yes. I do want her to eventually see me as, well... likable.”

“Then do something to try to get her attention and become closer together,” Noble advised. He glanced at the clock. “The others should be close to waking up by now. Let’s continue this in the kitchen.” And he went out of the library to where he remembered Twilight’s kitchen was.

After just a moment of indecision, Firestorm decided to follow him.

---

“Now, Ah’m not Rarity,” Applejack said, picking up another bushel on her back. “And Ah’m sure she’d offer somethin’ different. She’d probably tell ya ta play around with his heart a little bit before commitin’ yer heart. Ta be closed off so he needs ta pluck up the courage to even try ta talk to ya. But Ah’m sure that’d only get the both of yer emotions complicated and lost real quick, because then ya have not only yerself, but also the pony ya like confused and disconnected from each other. Ah’m sure her method’s got somethin’ to it, but Ah don’t see what it is.”

Rainbow silently agreed with Applejack. True, Rarity was flirtatious and a universally accepted expert in the colt and stallion category. But then again, she herself had never exactly had a suitor that stayed with her for more than a few hours, so maybe there was something to what Applejack was saying.

“Ma own advice would probably be ta make yerself available ta him. He ain’t gonna make a move on ya if yer closed off, ya know. So let ‘im know ya want ta have ‘im. Loosen up around ‘im, call him some cute names, do a bit of playful physical contact.”

Rainbow craned her head to look at her as she set her bushel down on the cart. “Playful physical contact?” she slowly echoed. It was confusing. What kind of contact was okay with friends and which ones were okay with really hot guys?

“You know... a hearty punch on the shoulder?” she asked, tapping Rainbow lightly on the shoulder. “Maybe try ta ruffle his mane, or whip yer tail inta his face, or put an arm around him and squeeze, or maybe bump hips with ‘im?”

“What if he takes it the wrong way?” Rainbow asked in concern. “Like, what if he thinks I’m assaulting him or something?”

“That’s up to him to decide. Right, now come on. Let’s try it out now. Imagine Ah’m Firestorm and ya wanna go ahead and talk to me. Remember, Ah’m just any other friend until ya make the move. Now come over here and ask him what’s cookin’ and laugh and add yer best friendly shoulder punch. Try it on me. Let’s go.”

Applejack was the same color as Firestorm, so that did not make it hard for her to imagine Applejack was Firestorm instead. It was easy. All she had to do was just add a sticky-uppy fiery mane and imagine her as a strong-willed stallion and add that amazing voice that was so fun to listen to, and add his neon yellow eyes and the way he held himself, and all of his quirky mannerisms, and all of his courage, and remember the way he had carried her out of the burning Castle of the Two Sisters. Rainbow swallowed. It was more difficult than she initially thought.

Gathering her courage she put on a comically oversized grin and awkwardly shuffled her way next to Applejack. “Why hey there, ol’ buddy ol’ pal Firestorm!” she said like she was reading off a teleprompter. “What is baking?” She gave a fake laugh for the space of five whole seconds, then reared up and struck Applejack in the arm with all the force she could muster. She yelped and shook her numb hoof for the second time that day so far as she felt the impact on Applejack’s tough skin.

Applejack winced and clutched her shoulder. “Tone it down there, sugar! Ya ain’t tryin’ ta dislocate his shoulder!”

“Sorry!” Rainbow hissed in pain. “I’m just not used to not putting all my force into it!”

“Ya got a good punch there, Ah’ll admit.” She raised a hoof threateningly. “Ya wanna feel mine?”

Rainbow gulped. “You know what, let’s just say you win the punching contest, okay?”

Applejack gave a short laugh. “Ah win.” She then turned all serious again. "But remember: be light about how ya go about doin’ yer flirtin’. Ya don’t wanna hurt him--mentally or physically. That ain’t love. Love…” She paused, then said, “is every good feeling in the world. It’s excitement, and happiness, and power and honesty and warmth. So ya don’t want him ta fear talking with ya. You want ‘im ta be obsessed about the way ya touch him, about the sound of yer voice, about the cute names ya call him.”

“Like what?” Rainbow asked. “I don’t have to call him something wussy or sick like…” She gulped. “Babyface, do I? Or sugar-wugar? Or Cutie Pie?” She shuddered in disgust.

“Well, yer not talkin’ ta Flurry Heart. Yer okay with talkin’ ta him like a normal pony, but try somethin’ a little more... serious.”

She blew a sigh of relief. “Oh, that’s good. I can do that. I can do serious.” She flew into the air, pulled a pair of sunglasses out of her mane and put them on, and assumed an arrogant pose. “Hey! Wassup, idiot! Shut up and come over here! Let’s see you hustle! Let’s go!” She lifted the sunglasses off her face and looked to Applejack for feedback. “Was that good?”

Applejack spat out a hearty laugh she had been holding in. “You ain’t talkin’ ta Gilda the griffon, you know.”

“Yeah, I know,” Rainbow sighed, then slumped to the ground. “I-I’m still new to this whole romance thing, Applejack. I don’t know if I’ll get it right the first time.”

“And that’s just the thing. You don’t need to.” Applejack came next to her. “Romance isn’t about gettin’ everythin’ right all the time. It’s about how the two o’ ya handle when ya mess up. So don’t worry too hard about what’s right. Just trust yer gut. More often than not, that’s the right thing to do.”

“How do you know so much about romance, anyway?” she asked, turning to look her in the face. “You say you don’t know much in the ways of romance, but you have all of this advice?”

“I’ve got extended family. Ah’m just seeing what worked fer them. Ah mean, Ah don’t exactly read those fashion articles and the advice columns about stallions mares’ve got their eyes on. Ah’m no expert by their standards, but Ah know enough in the real world ta know how most of it’s supposed ta work. If ya love somepony else, ya give ‘em an opportunity ta take a shot. And one of the ways ta let ‘im know yer open is ta call ‘im cute names like…” She thought for a bit, then she smirked. “Stud.”

Rainbow blinked. “S-stud?”

“Or maybe Handsome. Or Babe,” she said calmly. “What was that name you called him at the flying competition? Stormy? Remember, keep it a good, positive name. Ya don’t wanna confuse him by using a nickname like ‘Idiot.’ Some ponies do that and the guy they’re talkin’ to gets confused if they’re bein’ serious about that or not.”

“Stud,” Rainbow repeated to herself. Her stomach churned as the word left her mouth. “That’s... kinda hot.” She gave a shy smile. “I’ll have to remember that one.”

“Like Ah said, ya want ta give him a path he wants ta follow. When the two o’ ya finally are together, Ah wouldn’t do things like make big deals out of little issues, or blame him for everything that goes wrong, or get mad or upset at ‘im because ya find flaws about ‘im. He could find out flaws about you as well, but you wouldn’t like it if he screamed and got upset with you, would you?”

“I guess not,” Rainbow admitted, thinking about it and mulling it all over. “So I just don’t have to get mad at him if he does something stupid?”

“Ah’m not sayin’ ta block yer natural emotions, Rainbow. But stayin’ mad at him fer no reason can escalate inta somethin’ a lot bigger and a lot more dangerous. Never go to bed angry at each other, Rainbow. He’s got an obligation ta stick by you as well, but you also need ta stick by him no matter what.”

Rainbow smiled. “I’ll do it.”

Applejack grinned. “Now, let’s try again. How would ya go about talkin’ ta a handsome guy like Stormy?”

After a second or two of thought, Rainbow flapped up into the air. “Hey there, stud,” she called, making her voice slightly higher than usual and adding a small smirk. She flapped over and ruffled the top of Applejack's mane. “You always look that way, or did you try to look that handsome today for me?”

Applejack nodded in approval. “That’s it! That’s pretty good, Rainbow. Just keep that up and that boy will be yours in no time!”

---

In Twilight’s kitchen, Noble was assembling the ingredients for making a quick breakfast of oatmeal. Over the shoulder, Noble called, “Have you ever tried to talk to her?”

Firestorm wracked his brains. “No, not really,” he reported back.

“Well, how would you go about doing it?”

“I’d…” Firestorm cut himself off. And he looked down. “I dunno.”

“Well, let’s try it now.” Noble turned around. “Pretend I’m Rainbow Dash for just a second.”

Firestorm shuddered. “Ew.”

“This is just for the sake of practice here. Don’t worry, I’m not going to take anything personally. Just act how you would to Rainbow. I’m here to help.”

“But that’s still gay.”

“Would you prefer it if you were practicing with Freedom Fighter instead?”

The very thought made Firestorm stumble backward in shock. “You know what, I’ll, uh... I’ll try it.”

Noble nodded. “Good. Very good.”

Noble Blade was only a few shades lighter than the cyan color of Rainbow Dash, so that didn’t make it very hard to make minor adjustments to him. All he had to do was picture him as a lithe mare with a rainbow mane and a hoarse, alluring voice, and add those cute, rose-colored irises to his eyes and add some half-lidded eyes and a smirk and a beckoning hoof for him to come over. Firestorm felt like the room was a lot smaller and more stuffy than before once he thought of that, which did not make it any easier for him.

Firestorm awkwardly sidled over to Noble’s side. “OH, HELLO THERE, RAINBOW!”

“Tone down the volume,” Noble advised.

Firestorm grinned sheepishly, then cleared his throat. “Oh, um, hey there, Rainbow. You, ah, you lookin’ sexy today.” He hurriedly shook his hoof to the side. “No homo.”

“No homo,” Noble agreed. “But try to avoid terms like sexy.”

“Right, right,” Firestorm agreed uncomfortably. “Anyway, uh... Wassup, Dashie? What do ya want to talk about? How, um, hot you are? I, uh, I mean, it’s a hot day, right?” Firestorm awkwardly scratched his mane and kept silent.

“What’s going on?” Noble asked. “Well, first off, good job with the nickname. But you broke off. Why? You’re normally so fearless to hit on Rarity.”

“Yeah, but this is different because Rainbow's actually attractive. It’s making my nerves uneasy. I want to do something to impress her, but I think the first time we met, I botched it with my first impression.”

“So imagine you’re talking to her for the first time. What would you say then?”

Firestorm thought about that for only a few seconds before he flapped up in the air upside down and readjusted his mindset. “Oh, hello there, Dashie! How you doing? The day's not hot, but you sure are. You want to come over to my place for some ice cream to cool off?” he casually, easily asked. It surprised him how easily it came to him. Then he hurriedly added, "No homo."

“You see?” Noble smiled. “That was pretty good. I know you can do it, Storm. We’re warriors. We never shirk from a challenge, be it physical or mental. You will succeed. It’s in your blood!”

“That’s racist,” Firestorm said.

“Your soul!” Noble insisted.

“That’s racist,” he repeated.

Noble tilted his head. “Your eyes?” he asked.

“That’s gay.”

“That’s discriminatory,” Noble said.

“That’s accusatory!”

“That’s racist,” Noble triumphantly cried.

“Dang.” Firestorm slumped sadly to the ground.

A pot floated out of Twilight’s kitchen cupboard, surrounded in a blue aura, and set itself down on the stove. “So you say you want to impress her, Storm?”

“Assuming she isn’t already,” Firestorm said, hanging back. “If a Sonic Flameboom didn’t get her attention, what will?”

“You know,” Noble started, opening another cupboard with his magic and floating a box of oats out, “those huge, grandiose acts, like Sonic Flamebooms, aren’t all that necessary. It’s the little things that gradually stack up.”

“Says the guy that took out a girl to the fanciest restaurant in town for the first date.”

Noble went pink. “Guaa, well, um, that was after I had spent time with her before, Storm. We both knew each other and we both were sure we wanted to do it. Besides, I didn’t know what other option I had for a first date. What would you have done?”

Firestorm shrugged. “Touche.”

“Act like a gentlecolt. Like, a civilized being rather than... however you act most of the time.”

“Like a baboon?”

“Yeah.” Noble pointed at him. “Yes, exactly. See, I’m okay with the way you act most of the time, but it’s not the best way to win Rainbow over, per se. Let her know that you care. I knew some stallions that decided to act all tough and aloof and fierce. But it doesn’t always work out that way. Do thoughtful things for her. Pull out her chair for her when she needs to sit down. Compliment her on how she looks. Go and get something she needs that day without her asking you. Surprise her with a gift.”

“Surprise her?” Firestorm asked suspiciously, coming over next to Noble.

“You won’t get her to like you by pranking her. Dropping a snake on her won’t win her affection.”

Firestorm pointed at him. “That’s a good idea. Dropping a snake. Thanks for suggesting that. Perfect!”

Noble rolled his eyes slightly. “See, you want to become the kind of pony you want to marry. Emulate your own actions to match that of the pony you want to spend the rest of your life with.”

Firestorm looked lost in thought because of that. The advice was seeping into his brain and impacting him harder than any other piece of advice he had been given.

Noble saw his face and decided to follow up with something else. He stepped aside and indicated the box of oats. “Do you want to try this, Storm? Cook breakfast?”

Firestorm looked at the box of oats with a wary eye. “Ah, you do remember the last time I tried to cook, right? Back in our raid on Arimaspi mountain. I decided, in a moment of brilliance, to use a flare to make the cook fire bigger. And the stew ended up like Skyworld.”

“It exploded and went up in smoke?”

“It exploded and went up in smoke,” he confirmed. “We had to roast wild mushrooms over my swords that night.”

Noble shuddered at the cold, wet, hungry memory. “Well, granted, you sucked. But why not try again? Picture it, Storm. Picture yourself surprising her with a huge platter of homemade cookies one day and saying, 'I made this for you, Rainbow.' You’ll think better about yourself in the way you cook, and Rainbow will look at you with admiration and gratitude.”

Firestorm fidgeted. “I dunno…”

“Show off your cool stallion skills. The things you're single-mindedly fixated on are genuinely interesting and attractive to the ladies. Girls like guys that have skills. I’m talking about being really into music and willing to make her a song. I’m talking about woodworking, combatant skills, writing, art, sports, coin collecting, musical talent, repairing broken objects.” He indicated his head at the box of oats. “Cooking.”

Firestorm was silent for a moment, then jabbed at his Cutie Mark of a fiery black X. “You know what my Cutie Mark means, right?”

“That you’re good at burning things?”

“Yep. That also means that I suck at cooking.” He sighed. “I-I mean, can I at least make mac ‘n cheese without summoning a devil in the pot?”

“Oh, nopony’s that bad at cooking,” Noble said without certainty.

“Yuh huh. All right, look. Every time I try to cook something seriously, it ends up as a cremation of what it should have been. Pasta, casserole, soup-”

“You made soup catch on fire?”

“Arimaspi Mountain, remember? Pudding. Jello. Carrots.” He leaned forward. “A freaking peanut butter sandwich. Heck, once I decided to get some pie a la mode, and when I sat down I saw it was smoking.”

Noble gave him an incredulous look. “How the heck did you burn ice cream?”

“I don’t know! I think it’s because I’m cursed by Faust or something! I’m not cut out for this stuff!” He took a look at the instructions on the side of the box of oats. “I mean, look at this! Step one: Boil water.” He slapped the box indignantly. “Who the heck do they think I am, a chemist?”

---

“Whew!” Applejack wheezed, setting down another basket of freshly-bucked apples in the barn. “That aughta be enough fer now. Ya wanna check on Freedom Fighter and the others in the south field?”

“Sure,” Rainbow agreed. There wasn’t much else she could do, was there?

They walked side by side on the dirt paths through the vast expanses of the apple orchard. All around them sweet, juicy red fruit dripped off the branches of the closely-planted trees and leaned towards the ground as if it was inviting for it to be picked off. Both friends kept to themselves for a little bit, until Applejack finally asked, “So, Rainbow... did Ah help at all?”

“You sure did,” Rainbow admitted. She trod over a fallen branch with a snap. “It felt kind of nice, actually--talking with you, and telling you what was on my mind and stuff. Hopefully, this’ll all benefit me in the long run...right?”

“If all goes well between you and Firestorm,” Applejack predicted. “But Ah think that whether all goes well between y’all is up to you.”

After a five-minute walk, they reached the south field. The amount of baskets filled in the field was astounding, even to Applejack. Big Mac, large and red and with a hat atop his straw-colored mane, was off to the side bucking apples, Apple Bloom was trotting away with a small basket in her teeth, and Freedom Fighter was a little bit off, but directly in front of their path. They noticed that instead of bucking the trees in the traditional way, the black, heavily armed soldier was instead doing something different.

He would face the tree on his hind legs, with his right hoof resting against the bark of the tree. As Rainbow Dash and Applejack came closer, interested in his work, they noticed they could hear low murmuring coming from him.

“It’s your fault they’re dead,” a low, murderous voice echoed from him. He was motionless. “All of them. Your destiny was unfulfilled. You were unforgiven. But now you’re strong. And you will never--” He slumped down slightly. “--ever, ever let yourself lose again. So you will hurt them. That is what you were created to do.”

Applejack was confused. It was all pronouns, so she couldn’t interpret what he was talking about there. But it was probably pretty bad, for his breathing became more intense and a low growl was made in his mind.

They saw him draw his left hoof back slowly and hold it near his head for a second. Then he pulled his right hoof back as he punched the apple tree with all of his might with his left.

The impact was a loud slam, and some of the bark splintered around the spot of impact and flew away. Every single apple on the tree, plus some of the leaves and a dead branch, tumbled from the tree and piled into the baskets surrounding the tree.

“Wow…” Applejack mouthed upon seeing Freedom Fighter’s strength manifested before her eyes. “How strong could ya get?”

Freedom Fighter heard this and turned around in surprise. “Oh, Applejack! I almost didn’t notice you there.” His voice had changed back into his normal quality. He nervously turned away and hefted a large bushel of apples on his back. “Am I doing good?”

“Better than Ah thought you would,” Applejack admitted. She turned to face Big Mac. "Has he been doin’ well?”

“Eeyup,” came the monosyllabic reply.

Applejack then glanced at Freedom Fighter. How was he doing so well if he was wearing something that would hinder his work? “Don’t ya ever get hot wearin’ that thing all the time?” she asked, pointing at his suit.

Freedom Fighter unexpectedly nodded. “Oh, yes. I do. I’ve been in Saddle Arabia before, and I really, really wanted to take the thing off, but I resisted the urge.”

“Well, why?” she asked suspiciously.

“Because they can never see who I truly am.”

“Uh huh…” Applejack said, crossing her arms. “But wearin’ long-sleeve black heavy clothing while doin’ long, hard work in the mornin’ sun is a recipe fer disaster. Take that thing off when yer workin’ in my orchard.”

Freedom Fighter slowly narrowed his eyes to glare at Applejack. His red irises bore slowly, inexorably, into her own green ones, and she gulped nervously, but held her gaze as she started to sweat down her forehead.

After about ten seconds of this death glare, Freedom Fighter tilted his head to the side. “Are you just looking for an excuse to see me unclothed, Applejack? To see my large and toned muscles slam against a tree and bounce back and forth? To see them ripple across my glistening body, wet with sweat and begging to be fondled by your curious hooves?”

The farm girl flushed a sudden red. “What? Ah... no! No Ah’m not! Ah just want ya to be safe while yer... doin’ work! What makes ya think…”

Freedom Fighter smirked. “You’re cute when you’re flustered.” And then his scarlet irises grew small when he saw Applejack try to stammer something out in reply. “Did I just say that out loud?” he exclaimed, in a slightly ridiculous tone.

Then his voice changed back to that distorted voice they had heard before. “Well, of course she’s flustered! She’s not blushing for no reason, you know!”

“Who was that?” Rainbow asked him nervously.

Freedom Fighter smacked himself in the forehead. “Oh, right! Him! Sorry, I forgot to introduce you. That other voice you heard is actually me. He’s one of my best friends, you know. He’s always there for me, he never leaves me, he’s good with conversation…”

“You... talk to yourself?” Rainbow asked incredulously.

“For a long time, I was the only friend I could talk to. I’m not going to complain. He’s funny and amiable, and he’s got this likable charm to him that I can’t quite match.”

Rainbow leaned back for a few seconds, then said out of the corner of her mouth, “Oookaaayyy…”, utterly baffled by the eccentric pony. “Well…”

And it was only a short time later that something else came up, which was a relief for Freedom Fighter. From behind the warrior came a very deep voice that said, “Hey.”

The three ponies turned to see Big Mac on one side of an upside-down crate. The uncharacteristically wordy stallion was still talking. “Ah’ve seen yer strength. Ya might be an interestin’ pony ta hoof wrestle.”

Freedom Fighter came over. “Do you always begin conversations this way?”

“Eenope,” was the reply he gave.

Freedom put his right shoulder up on the crate. Big Mac did the same. When they were both situated down, they clasped each other’s hooves in a firm embrace.

“All right, let’s do this,” Freedom Fighter snarled. “Start!”

And they both began to push on each other’s hooves.

---

“All right, just two cups of oats?”

“That should be it,” Noble reported, looking at the box as he sat on the counter. “Look, it’s not going to be all that bad.”

“I’d still feel more comfortable if you let me borrow your helmet for this,” Firestorm said, as he held the cup of oats above the pot of boiling water. “Or at least a welding hood.”

“It’s not going to catch on fire, Storm. It’s water.”

Firestorm, after another moment of silent reflection, gathered his courage together and poured the cup of oats in the pot of water.

The water, true to Noble’s word, didn’t catch on fire. But some oats splashed boiling water out of the pot, making Firestorm leap back instantly, sending the rest of the cup of dry oats onto the blistering hot stove. And those caught fire.

“SHOOT!” Firestorm grabbed a dish towel off the hanging oven handle and began to beat the stove fire with it, only making it larger. “SHOOT SHOOT SHOOT SHOOT!”

“I’ll do it!” Noble cried. His horn shot a beam of tightly-concentrated ice at the base of the small fire, and the flames died down. The stove now had a small bit of ice on the heater, which was even now melting rapidly and sizzling as the water evaporated upon contact with the hot surface.

Both of them stood there, panting and looking with an incredulous gaze at the stove, where a small burn mark now was.

“Okay, it’s a curse,” Noble finally said, after debating in his mind on what to say about it.

Firestorm pointed at the stove. “Yeaaahhh."

---

After over a minute of inactivity, neither stallion was able to move the other’s hoof. Both of them were breathing heavily and wheezing. Big Mac’s face was even redder than he naturally was, and Freedom Fighter was doubling over.

Finally, both stallions, sweating copiously and panting hard, let go of each other and began to massage their sore hooves. After a bit of blowing on their appendages and rubbing them down, Big Mac looked to the side and asked, “Wanna try left?”

Freedom Fighter gave an unnaturally wide grin under his bodysuit’s exposed mouth, allowing Big Mac to see his teeth. “If that’s what you want.”

They both then put their left elbows on the overturned crate and grasped each other’s hooves hard. “Ready,” Big Mac said. “Go.”

SMASH

Freedom Fighter had immediately slammed Big Mac’s hoof down so hard it had splintered the crate it was on. Big Mac let out a yelp of pain as he was thrown to the ground and started to suckle the sore hoof to try to bring it back to life. Applejack and Rainbow, who were watching with mild interest at first, now bulged their eyes and put a hoof to their mouths. Hardly anypony ever stayed in a hoof-wrestle with Big Mac for longer than a few seconds. The only pony to ever beat him was Bulk Biceps. And that was after three whole minutes of back-and-forth action. But for him to be beaten with his left...

“Did I win?” Freedom Fighter asked mildly, looking at his left hoof with a mix of reverence and shock.

“Eee--eeyup!” Big Mac moaned.

“Do you need any help? I hope I didn’t break anything.”

“Eenope!” he cried.

He shrugged. “Suit yourself.” And he turned and trotted back to where Applejack and Rainbow were standing, keeping their interested eyes on his left hoof. “So, miss. What can I do now?”

“How is your left hoof so much stronger than yer right?” Applejack asked.

Freedom Fighter looked to the side uneasily. His red eyes were narrowed. Then he looked back up. “Why does that matter so much to you?” he growled in his distorted voice.

Applejack was frightened, but mostly confused. Why was it such a big deal for him?

Freedom Fighter straightened and looked with annoyance to the side. “What my esteemed colleague meant to say,” he excused himself, “was I don’t want to really talk about it. It... It’s not important.”

And without waiting for further orders he trotted away to another tree to continue work.

Once he was out of sight of the others, Freedom Fighter pressed himself against the back of a tree, showering bark bits down. “That was a close one!”

Then he turned his head to the side. “You can’t keep this up forever.”

He turned his head to the other side. “So what should we do?”

“Stop them from asking anything about you. You can’t show yourself to them. That would only make them a target for the Noxxa. You’re their sworn enemy. But if they find out that you have friends that know who you are, they’ll come against your friends and hurt them until they tell them you’re the Unforgiven. And once they know that, they'll torture and rape and kill and eat the mangled bodies. You need to protect your secret.”

“Freedom?” came a southern drawl that sounded close by. “Freedom Fighter, where’d ya run off to? Let’s all get back to the barn and have some grub!”

“We’ll talk about this later,” he told himself, and came out from behind the tree. “Try not to do anything stupid, or else we’ll do the ritual again.”

Freedom Fighter swallowed, but he wisely kept silent and came out to face Applejack and Rainbow, with Big Mac and a very small filly trailing behind them. Freedom Fighter obediently put himself at the back of the line and followed them to the barn for a morning breakfast of pancakes with hot applesauce and milk.

---

Twilight and Spike entered the throne room, which was increasingly used in the mornings as the breakfast room, just as Noble Blade and Firestorm came in from another way. Behind them, like some kind of bizarre parade, came several bowls and spoons that were following a large pot of spiced and sweetened oatmeal. They were all surrounded by a dark blue aura.

Noble set the large pot down on the stone table. “Thy oatmeal awaiteth thee, my lady,” he announced. He pointed to a couple of bowls. “And there be thy brown sugar and raspberries to add more taste to this simple meal.”

Twilight and Spike sat down in their respective seats. “You know, I at first wasn’t too trusting of you guys. But seeing you cook for us, I just can’t help but like you,” Spike said. “One less duty for me to perform, anyway.” He started to serve himself. Then he looked around. “Hey, do you know where Freedom Fighter is?”

“He’s helping at Sweet Apple Acres, remember?” Twilight reported, brushing her disheveled bed-head mane aside and serving herself. “Which is a shame, really. I was going to ask him a question.”

“Which was…” Firestorm asked.

“You know how you guys sometimes mention this ritual Freedom Fighter does?” Twilight asked.

Both stallions started to sweat nervously. “Yes…” Noble responded uneasily.

“Well, I was just wondering if I would like to see him do it. It would be fascinating to learn more about ancient rituals warriors perform.”

Both stallions looked at each other in a sideways glance. Then Firestorm coughed and said, “Twilight, he only does this ritual after a battle.”

“But what is it?” Twilight pressured. “Is it one of those rituals to ward off evil? Or a prayer over his weapons? Those were rituals employed by wandering tribes in the arctic wastelands over five thousand years before Luna’s banishment to the moon. It would be fascinating and educational to learn about what he does after every battle!”

Both stallions looked at each other again. Then Noble asked, “Would you excuse us, my lady?”

And with a charge of his horn the two of them disappeared.

---

Once they appeared with a pop in Noble’s bedroom, Firestorm rushed to the door and locked it. Then he turned around. “She’s getting suspicious.”

“I know. But we must not let her know about his ritual. Freedom Fighter ran out of room on his arm.”

Firestorm’s eyes dilated to the size of pinpricks. “He what?”

“He’s just going to continue on the other one, even though I told him otherwise.”

Firestorm anxiously began to bounce in place. “So... so what do we do? What do we say to them?”

“For the moment, nothing. None of them can know about his secrets.”

“We can’t keep it a secret forever.”

“Which is why the trick is now to prolong it.”

“That may not be long. I think the rest of the girls are starting to be inquisitive about him as well. At this rate, if Freedom Fighter doesn’t tell them himself, they’re going to find out for themselves.”

“So how do we pacify Twilight?” Noble mused. “She’s the one that thirsts for information more than any of the others.”

Firestorm grew a grin. “I think I know just what to do.”

“Oh no,” Noble muttered.

---

Twilight waited impatiently, tapping her leg on the ground as she sat upright in her seat. What was up with Firestorm and Noble Blade? All she did was ask a question, and all of a sudden they decided to disappear on her! Did she do something wrong? Was there something uncomfortable that they didn’t want to share with her?

After a while, she decided to focus on her oatmeal and took a bite. It was remarkably warm and flavorful after the toppings she wanted had been added in. The raspberries were nice and tangy, the sugar soft and sweet. It melted in her mouth.

Pop came a sound suddenly and there they were again. Firestorm woozily stumbled around and bumped into the back of a chair, pretending he was disoriented from the teleport. Then he shook his head and trotted lightly over to Twilight’s side.

“Can you keep a secret?” he asked once he was close enough.

Spike grumbled a negative answer off to the side. Twilight had once been trusted to keep a secret that Spike had a crush on Rarity. Needless to say, the cat was out of the bag.

Twilight, however, leaned forward intently. “Yeah. I can keep a secret.”

Noble Blade leaned down next to Spike’s ear and asked, “You think she can?” to him, already knowing the answer. Noble had said it himself: Celestia thought Twilight wasn’t good at keeping secrets, which was why she didn’t know of their existence.

“If you want a secret to get out,” Spike whispered back sarcatically, “All you have to do is tell Twilight to keep it a secret.”

Noble inhaled through his teeth.

“Are you sure you can keep a secret?” Firestorm was asking Twilight.

“Yes, I can keep a secret!” Twilight whispered excitedly back.

Firestorm leaned forward so his mouth was next to Twilight’s ear. “Well, so can I,” he hissed, then smiled, leaned back and patted her on the back in a friendly manner.

Comments

[FanficReader920]

Noble looked up, rolling his eyes to the side. “I mean, do they say I’m just another bland personality? Do they say I’m too much of one of those really annoying Gary Stu characters I’ve read about that has everything work out for him perfectly? Do they say I became a blank slate ever since I met Fluttershy? Do they say I’m dull, uninteresting, unrelatable, and boring?”

HA!! That was perfect! Gotta love me some meta-humor. Also, Freedom Fighter just intrigues me all the more now. Finally, the Slice of Life is starting to give way to some actual plot, not that there's anything wrong with Slice of Life, but it's been going on for awhile, so it's good to keep things mixed.

[LyraAlluse]

I can tell that you have spent a lot of time working on this story. It is very good! Keep up the good work with your writing.

[DreamRiftSaga]

I.... I think I know what the ritual is now... oh god.

[BradyBunch]

9902840
And it'll be confirmed next chapter. Along with other vital information that'll (finally!) kickstart the plot.