Told in the Point of View of Sweetie Belle.
It has been a slow week, since Lord Tirek hasn't kidnapped Princess Diamond Tiara in a while so Scootaloo have been bored out of her mind. That was until I got a mysterious letter in the mail, saying I won a free mansion.
Scootaloo ran a head, I haven't heard any word from her in a bit, and last time I heard from her is in that creepy run-down mansion, my new haunted mansion.
Great.
Cover Art done by;
OmniWriter (FIMFiction)
OmniWriter (Deviantart)
Chapters (1)
I would actually kinda like to see this a bit more fleshed out. It definitely has potential to be a multichapter story.
Too much like a walktrough that anything...
Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle aren't sisters.
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I know, different universe, where they twins. Making them like Mario and Luigi, I thought I added that tag.
Well, this certainly was different.
First of all, I really like the idea of an MLP/Luigi's Mansion Crossover, however this story was just to short to cover the whole game. Not to mention that it was a bit to similar really. My thought is that if you're going to make an alternate universe crossover, then you should go all the way with it. That's one of the beauties of Fanfiction is that you don't have to follow the game or the show's storyline by the book.
Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle as Mario and Luigi works well enough, but I think it would be nice to see some of the background ponies as the portrait ghosts, with maybe a bit more story to them. I can see Zecora in Clairvoya's role quite nicely, and maybe Pumpkin or Pound cake as the baby. Winona as the dog, ect.
One final thing that I can recommend is that you find an editor, as there are some errors that could be fixed to give your story that extra bit of polish, if anything else.
Those are just one random guy on the internet's thoughts. I did enjoy this as it brought back many nostalgic memories for me. Feel free to take my opinion them with a Tom sized chunk of salt.
I wish you luck on your future projects. Also, have a like my fellow author.
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Well thank you for your mini review. Yeah, I thought it was too much like the games that's why I wanted to built up to the haunted mansion and mix Dark Moon parts like the final boss into the story. I personally don't like writing Crossover stories to games I know the story too, if that makes any sense. If I know what the game is about, then I feel like I just copy and paste it.
That's the reason why I cancelled Scootaloo & Sweetie Belle: The Thousand Year Door. Beside Rumble, it was a one to one copy of Paper Mario; The Thousand Year Door. Yes I know my spelling is terrible and I can't have a editor for all my stories.