Shadow-Mare & Cheery Cady
Classical music hung in the air, traveling from the main rooms where most of the Gala-goers were, drinking and 'dancing' and talking to one another with hushed excitement. For many ponies, this was their first and only chance to see any bit of Canterlot Castle — most of which wasn't open to the public!
I shifted, and my slinky gold dress rippled across my body. I regretted the gold heels I was wearing tonight, as killer as they had looked... now they were killing my hooves. I just wanted something that would go perfectly with the dress: a sleeveless, über-elegant piece with a gorgeous gold color, shining like Auntie's sun. Wherever I walked, what was essentially a sweeping royal-quality cocktail dress swished with me and my mane that cascaded out from where I'd pulled it up moved gently. It was a major upgrade from the dress I wore to my first gala with Auntie: the dress I had been dying to wear to my high school prom, if I hadn't had a witch stumble into my village and a horn on my head by the end of everything.
Whenever a pony called my name — my full title, usually — I was always sure to smile and wave and wish whoever it was a good evening. Being surrounded by ponies was what I needed! I was the Princess of Love!
...And I was currently the one rushing — but in a really princess-y way — through the halls trying to figure out where everypony was supposed to be. Auntie had decided to take over what was usually my job when it came to galas and other laid-back social events. At least, the ones that were 'laid-back' for the more imperial events Auntie adored.
I was supposed to check in with Auntie if anything seemed amiss. The duty to making sure any mares heading in Blueblood's direction found themselves distracted fell on my withers because Blueblood still can't come out yet, though I've been encouraging him for years. When Twilight Sparkle and her friends arrived — I never thought I'd even think that, Twilight having friends — I was supposed to give her a hello from Shiny, who got stuck with patrolling the city.
I looked around at the crowds of well-dressed ponies. If I saw Twilight.
I pricked my ears forward and tried to listen to the numerous conversations swirling about. To me, all this noise was like a melody. I longed to join one of these conversations, but the royal errand called for me to be running about every which way tonight.
I really hoped that I would see Twilight... My eyes flicked up to the gold engagement ring shining on my horn.
Everypony around me was having fun, whether they were a snobby socialite or a starry-eyed young mare chasing her special somepony, I watched as delighted ponies milled about. Singing, dancing, and smiling were everywhere. Laughter mixed with the music. Coursing through me was the desire to dance, and why wouldn't I want to?
All around me were ponies! Lucky Auntie was the one who got to chat with everypony at least a little bit. Sometimes I wonder if being a social butterfly is part of being the Princess of Love.
The Grand Galloping Gala may be as formal as Tartarus, but there were so many ponies having fun! The decorations were extravagant too, but what could I expect from Canterlot Castle? Sure, there was a lot that had been put away to make room for everypony. For example, this year, ponies were allowed in the throne room, and there's this weird crystal that Auntie keeps under a bell jar that had to be put away... I don't really want to say 'hidden' because that doesn't really feel like my Auntie.
It looks as ageless as her, and nopony knows anything about it or what it does, but she won't even let the maids dust it, which is something that's so unheard of from Auntie to the point where it was almost downright hostile of her to simply and politely order it to not be handled by the maid whose wedding I helped plan three years ago — I mean, Spick and her twin Span are such nice ponies. When I first came to Canterlot, they were my age and had slumber parties with me.
Giggling at an old memory, I slip through large, stately wooden doors into one of the castle's many rooms where musicians were hired to play. Dusky tiles shine with the effort of the maids to make the Gala perfect this year.
Gathered below the stage were ponies of all kinds: unicorns, pegasi, earth ponies, and I even saw a horse or two, no doubt from Saddle Arabia or one of the other nations south of Equestria.
And then I saw her.
I mean, I shouldn't have seen her, but she stuck out like a sore hoof. Everypony was bright, happy, and warm as they enjoyed the gala. They mingled. They ate. They chattered excitedly.
But she was... weird.
She stood in the corner and off to the side, as though that were the most entertaining spot in the room, and the most comfortable... not that she looked very comfortable.
My own smile was slowly being replaced with a confused frown as I saw her frown. She looked away from everypony. Her cute cornflower mane hung over one eye, surprisingly more effective of a disguise than the masquerade mask I saw Fancy Pants wearing a few hallways ago. She didn't even look like she wanted to be here.
From where I stood, watching the weird mare, I could see that she was taller than even I was, which didn't make any sense... until I saw the 'unicorn' mare's wings and I understood.
She wasn't a unicorn at all, and her height — taller than myself or any horse was explained instantly. She wasn't wearing a shawl, like I had thought, folded at her sides were two wings that I knew would be a bit bigger than mine if I stretched them out.
Her ears were pricked forward and her willowy but strong body — I swear, she looked like she wanted to dissolve and fight somepony at the same time — was held vigilantly in a swaying sort of way that was slightly unnerving.
Her dress was pretty, a simple black piece that had a long skirt with purple trim here and there. For a goddess's dress, it was pretty simple. Auntie either went in her regalia, in a fine gown, or followed a theme.
Luna — that was her name, and it was strange even in my mind — looked like this was the last place she wanted to be tonight, but who would want to be alone on the night of the gala? Or just away from all this fun?
I hope she didn't know I was watching.
All I could think about was bright, talkative Auntie, and how despite all the years that I've known her, this silent, mysterious, and strange mare — she barely looked like she was my age! — that was supposed to be her sister had said more than Auntie had ever said to me... by not saying anything at all.
Luna didn't even know I was in the room. Luna was a goddess somewhere around Auntie's age — however old Auntie was — and she commanded with silence over sound... while still looking like she wanted to erase herself from the entire celebration.
How was Luna anything like the gods in all the legends that I was raised on? She wasn't, not exactly.
I was more superstitious than most, but there were tales of gods and ghosts in the heart of everypony, Equestrian or otherwise, even if some ponies were reluctant to believe completely in the existence of the latter when they just had yet to meet them. Though, something tells me any ghost I'll meet is going to be a bit boring, like an old butler or somepony's nice grandmother.
Gods were different. Nations were ruled by gods. King Neptune ruled a nation underseas. Elysium had Paradise and Stolas had Tartarus. Auntie ruled Equestria.
...Luna ruled Equestria too. I was the third princess, like a top-tier royal errand filly, always learning to rule, attending functions, and being presented... but without any real authority. If Auntie had a consular or advisor of some kind, I would play a similar role to that, but for now, I was Princess #3, having previously been Princess #2, or Celestia Junior.
Did I envy Luna for being a goddess? No. Did I envy her for just a little bit because she was more than the pony every filly wanted to be, and Princess #2? A little...
Somehow, she didn't droop in shadows. I'd rarely seen her around the castle, but who could blame me? She was weirdly reclusive and Auntie only told me what was barely bits and piece about Princess Luna, which made her sound like more of a mystery than before — when she was really mentioned at all. Equestria was abuzz about the 'new' princess, but maybe they weren't that excited about the mare behind the crown... she seemed too introverted. I mean, was it too hard to ask for even a cheery lie? I'd seen Auntie face petitioners like that, and they never had a clue.
Everything Auntie said about her made Princess Luna sound like some kind of shrinking violet: stressing a lack of friends like a worried hoofball mom, unable to socialize or something, antisocial, scared inside, and basically weird mom stuff.
It was honestly pretty weird. I've never thought of Auntie as all that motherly. She's a teacher, and I've met one of her Faithful Students other than Twily, but she's never been mom-like. Then, Luna appears and that mask softens a little. She's clucking over Luna when I'm not around like some kind of mother hen and can't stop talking about progress, like: 'Luna mumbled a greeting to one of the guards, isn't that so sweet?' and stuff like that, like how she 'convinced' Luna to show up... and here I am, seeing her for more than half a minute, being introduced to me by her big sister... Gosh, thinking about Auntie like that is so weird!
I swirl the martini glass I had picked up from a tray out of reflex a few moments ago, hoping to give myself an air of normalcy as I totally didn't spy on Luna.
Gosh, I felt like such a creep. Why don't I say something to her? It'd be like a bet from high school: talk to the weird mare. Except, there's no money and I'm not a jerk. She may have been Nightmare Moon... or Nightmare Moon was her... but I don't think she's super evil or anything, right?
Sucking in a breath discreetly, I glide across the dance floor and put on what dad always called 'Cady's winning smile' — the one I wore to every archery contest — and approach her.
Luna looks at me curiously, but with the same kind of size-up look I've seen from the guard and others many times before, but on this mysterious goddess, it's unsettling, and I have to look away. She's unfriendly seeming alright, but not really rude. Maybe she'd be okay to spend a bit of time with?
My heart flutters a little nervously. I make my smile look more natural, and use my free forehoof to push an invisible weight from my chest, exhaling as I do so and telling myself that I am calm. I feel calmer too. After that, I raise my forehoof in an awkward little wave.
Luna looked at me like I'd sprouted a second head for noticing her. She didn't wave back.
I almost hopped closer, and was lucky I didn't spill what was left of my drink. This mare was going to need some company if she was going to be the big ol' Second Esteemed Princess of Equestria. Maybe if I threw in the Gala towel and whisked this princess away from whatever was troubling her, I'd have better luck getting anything out of her. Even though I've never heard her talk, Auntie has told me that she's not good with speaking Modern Equestrian, and hasn't been talking to anypony to learn it! Perhaps all the old plays that I had to read for school back in Wispgrove will give me some deep and meaningful insight into whatever goes on in her head... she looks a little bit on the gloomy side, so here's to hoping it's nothing tragic because I'm a comedy gal.
Now she's at a distance where I can converse with her. I give her an earnest smile. There's something in her owlish stare that seems soft-but-tough. Maybe this won't be a bad night? I wave again, and let the night truly begin with a few words:
"Hey, wallflower."
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First view yeet
Mehhhhhh
Kinda Messy but You get 3 out of 5 mehhs
Dang, that's a rough feeling, and it's nice to see that Cadance is a good enough sport to look beyond it and still try and befriend Luna. She has every right to feel a little peeved, but she doesn't even think to act on it.
Caddy Being Cool is always good to see.
8419610
Truly poetic insight yo.
Very good story - but abrupt ending!
8419624
Peeved is a bad word.
8419696
That was intentional on my part. I wanted to focus on Cady's thoughts, and before writing this I debated who I wanted to be the narrator. I settled on Cady, and since I'd written these two as friends in other stories - as well as mentioned this event before as kind of a Spaghetti Indicident - I wanted to focus not on the aftermath - them being friends - but what came before: Cadance's thoughts, especially since Luna being the narrator could've lent a different tone to the story entirely.
Nice nice
Cady is always nice to have some insight on
8420295
Cady is perfect and you know it
I rarely upvote stories, but even though it ended right as it became interesting it really got me hooked. Really looked forward to hear them converse. You got that part right and then slammed the ending into my face (rude as buck). Had to recheck if this story was completed or ongoing.
You better continue this story to y-you
nice personmonster!!1You have my attention! This looks like it's going to be fun.
I always like the more introspective looks at Cadance. She and Shiny are often portrayed too close to perfect and with no history of trials and tribulations.
Hey, can you post Luna's dress? (because Luna is best pony) Love your story!
Nice take on Cadance's internal monologue.
Somepony needs to tell Stolas to get off his rump and DO HIS FRIGGIN' JOB!!! He didn't even notice Cerberus wandering off or Tirek escaping! What a bum!
8420309
This is complete, but I've written more friendshipping stories about these two. If ya want, I can PM them or something. The reasons it's so short is said here 8420222 cause Word of God and shit. Also, authors love support, so upvote galore 'n' shit. Thank you for reading.
8420317
Thank you! Cady and Shiny are a blast to write, and I've loved working with them in my other stuff.
8420356
Luna is indeed a best pony~. I linked Luna's dress in the A/N. Links aren't green anymore so it's sorta hard to see.
8420747
Hipsterprincess has some interesting thoughts.
8420791
In the stories of mine where Stolas shows up, he's a friggin' ass who could care less about what others think his 'job' is, so maybe that's a thing that explains a thing. Also, never had you comment on a story of mine before despite seeing you everywhere else. Hello!
Thanks for contributing to the almost 40 notifications I logged in to see everybody! If you liked this story, I have other Cady and Luna stories as well as just more stuff with this Cady in general.
It wasn't terrible but I couldn't make it through more than a few paragraphs, too many completely unnecessary commas and other flow-interrupting errors. A few examples:
(Internal monologue + past tense = ???)
Present tense now?
8420978
That last one was a typo, so I fixed that one.
A very entertaining story.
I really liked it.
8420989
Thank you for reading! If you want to check out more stuff about this Cady, she's appeared in nearly everything else I wrote.
8420932 I tend to only read a story if a) it gets into the feature box or at least shows up in the first 20 Popular stories.. b) if it has a topic I might find interesting or looks so god-awful I must witness the disaster for myself. Then rip it apart.
8421049
I've only been featured a few times before, so that might be why.
Haven't read this yet, but, uh:
8421098
Oh wow. Sorry! That's been fixed.
goodie goodie give me that booty
8421172
no homo
8420978
8420983
Actually, 56, I like to think that I have a pretty keen eye for these things, and I didn't see many other totally uncalled-for commas, though I did spot a good few that should have been semicolons or something other than a comma. It's just unfortunate that that one sentence in the opening scene had two such errors.
The comma after "Wherever" doesn't make sense to me on any level. Even the most die-hard nineteenth century writer, determined to use commas, at every possible place, where it's grammatically allowable, wouldn't have dreamed of doing it there. And neither does it work as a purely "reflecting speech patterns" style of comma—or at least I cannot imagine such a comma belonging there, though I would happily accept correction with evidence.
The comma between "up" and "moved" only seems out of place because it marks the end of a parenthetical phrase and the beginning of that parenthetical phrase wasn't marked with a matching comma. Parenthetical phrases (like this) that don't use literal parentheses should be marked, like this, with commas on both ends. Alternatively, not using any commas like this is also acceptable. But it's prohibited to, like this use only one end unless there is a different grammatical reason for the comma to be there like this, or if the parenthetical phrase is at the beginning or ending of a sentence, like this.
P.S. Giggling at an old memory, I slip through large, stately wooden doors
It's not fixed
P.P.S. stressing a lack of friend's like a worried hoofball mom
Please no apostrophes on plurals
And thus began the First Annual Grand Galloping Gala Brawl.
8421644
More like they ditched he Gala before the main six showed up.
8421436
That's, uh, pretty in depth. Anyway, those have been fixed.
8421436
The one in front of the "and" really doesn't belong there, either. I tend to use Oxford Commas myself and that definitely isn't one.
8422524
Fixed, yo.
8422789
You can make that a rule, by the way. Grammatically, a comma is already a separator equal to an 'and' or an 'or'. You nearly never want to use both. People talk that way, in terms of pauses and such, but it doesn't properly belong there.
8423328
That's not true according to what I know. [edit: never mind the struck-out:
For one thing, that's definitely not a list, so it's pointless to mention the Oxford, or serial, comma.] The first thing I found on Google saidEven if you treat this type of comma as optional in all circumstances, it would still not be incorrect to use it.
Where did you get your information?
8423394
School. It's how I was taught to use commas.
8423398
Well, all I can say to that is that commas are used for many purposes, so I wouldn't be surprised if one of the uses slipped through the cracks. Or perhaps you were taught a more journalistic style; they tend to drop as much as possible for the sake of brevity.
8423431
Might be. English grammar is one hell of a beast and different regions treat it very differently. All I can really say is that I was giving advice best as I know it. Personally, I think it looks better, but that's just me.
8423438
How can that be true? You used the same type of comma right here! (And, or, and but are equivalent in stature AFAIK.)
8423445
Well, as I was taught it, commas come in front of but and because, 'cause those are indicative of accessory clauses - but never in front of 'and' or 'or', because these are conjunctions that specifically don't require it and replace it. I'll be first to admit that not all grammar rules make consistent sense. We just follow them best as we can anyway.
8423454
I admit I have no idea what an accessory clause is. Expect an edit to this reply in a few minutes.
edit: All I can come up with on short notice is that it's another term for what I called a parenthetical phrase earlier, but I don't understand how that would mesh with your description.
8423461
A subclause. An accessory sentence. I may have screwed up the nomenclature, but I'm spontaneously translating from my school memories, which was like 25 years ago. I'm pretty sure the parenthetical phrase is what I mean there, just delineated by a comma instead of parentheses.
8423464
No problem. I understand what you mean now. However, "but" is commonly accepted as a standard conjuction.
8423491
Interesting to know. It's not how I was taught to do it, but then again, it might have been the simplified "for children" version and I've certainly seen it used that way. Might depend on sentence specifics. I certainly didn't learn about the Oxford Comma until I was nearly in my thirties.
8423510
I would agree that using a comma with "but" seems more advisable than it does for "and" and "or", but that's different from saying you shouldn't use it there. Perhaps that was where you got that memory. Anyway, good talk
8423522
we have
Hm, a repost perhaps? I remember seeing a story with this EXACT same synopsis a little over a year ago...
Either way, this time I'll give it a shot!
Oh heh, you can write stories. Neat.
I really enjoyed this. Great work.
wallflower?...
sorry, but I didn't get it
8424268
"a shy or excluded person at a dance or party, especially a girl without a partner."
using google in 2017, ikr.
I love you
8423861
I don't know of it, so no, this is not a repost.
8423963
What's that supposed to mean?
8424268
Check this. Cadance presumes Luna might be lonely.
8424618
Well, thank you!