Trixie, having recently lost all her possessions during a certain Ponyville incident, manages to find a lucky job as a performer for Equestria's most anticipated holiday. While there, she discovers something precious to her survived her caravan's destruction... and is currently being held by a familiar face.
Now, Trixie's determined to retrieve what's rightfully hers. But little does she know that her attempts will set off a chain of events, leading to what could either be the greatest or the worst thing that's ever happened to her.
(Image belongs to KP-ShadowSquirrel)
Chapters (11)
Who the hell rated this 2.8?
This is deserving of a much higher rating.
51710
Thanks for that; I was wondering where I'd gone wrong.
Just a note, if there's any errors, feel free to point them out; I wasn't able to get a review for it, due to everypony being too busy to tackle it. I'll happily fix any errors. Constructive criticism is far superior to downrating and walking away.
Is This another twixie?(too many already), if that's the case, you my good sir, are wasting your really good writing skills, if not, you have me hooked, sorry for my lack of excitement, i just don't like same sex ship fics, but even then *5 starred
If this is a romance, why is there only one character listed :l
52035
I tend to list characters as they show up. But that's just me.
Plus, it helps with the slight mystery vibe of the chapter, no?
52042
Foine, I'll read; but if it isn't Twixie, you got some splanin' to do.
A notice, everypony:
As stated earlier, I did manage to have some trouble getting a reviewer before I posted. I'm glad it turned out well, but still, I want to put my all into this story... therefore, I need a pre-reader. If anypony's interested, shoot me a message, and I'll hand over some details. Just be cautioned, I'm planning on updating every two or so days, at least up to a certain point. At the very least, you will have to pre-read a chapter at least once every two days. Thanks in advance to anypony who wants to give it a shot; thanks for reading, everypony, and have a nice night.
This was great I always love to have a look at Trixie's life. James was right it was good. If you're a friend of James (Parker) then consider me ready to support you.
I will comment and I will keep an eye out for errors. P.S. ask James or Buck as you mite know him by about me if you want to know.
52035
Well obviously it's a TrixeXTrixie fic.
What? Trixie can be in love with herself.
Throwing in the sad tag just to be safe, since one of the later chapters is probably going to tug at a few heartstrings. Other than that, the story isn't going to be trying to be sad at all.
Chapter two's out, and I'd like to thank my new pre-reader for giving it a once-over. Hope everypony enjoys.
Excellent job, this chapter is really on character
Not bayud.
Sometimes, surprisingly enough, things work out just fine in the end. A lot of people seem to forget that.
Good read, but I don't know if you meant least or not. (after Trixie asked Twilight if she reall dug them out take a look. Least or last?
*Really* sorry about my grammar I've been trying my hardest to fix it. Hope to see more as soon as possible.
54352
Really? Throughout the entire chapter I was pretty much yelling at myself 'NO DON'T MAKE THEM DO THAT, DO THIS'
Good to know it came out well. Thank you.
54604
Oops, nice catch. Just fixed it, thanks for pointing it out
New chapter up!
Also, for all intents and purposes, the Dischord fiasco happened before Trixie's arrival in Ponyville for this story. Just a heads up.
57613 I like the story I have not been pulled into a fic in awhile. Thanks for writing. Even Derpy likes this fic.
Quite the story!
Cute and all around very nicely made. I can see this one going far.
I love Twilight x Trixie stories, which I suspected this one to be, so I took a chance...and am so far not at all disappointed. I love the little events that Trixie has to go through, just to scrape by...kinda sad, but it makes a lot of sense. I never know which Trixie I'm gonna see when I read a Twilight x Trixie. Usually, it comes down to one of these Trixies:
1. A sad, depressed, near-death Trixie who is broken and just wants to die or have a better life, and is not anything like she was in "Boast Busters".
2. A sad and depressed Trixie, but who is still arrogant and stuck-up and continues to remain herself despite her horrible situation.
3. A Trixie who is the same as we saw in "Boast Busters", what with her arrogance and rudeness, but seems to have "learned" a bit and is willing to be nicer or give friendship/love a shot.
4. A Trixie who is the same as we saw in "Boast Busters", what with her arrogance and rudeness, and doesn't seem intent on doing anything to change herself or her ways.
5. A completely out-of-character Trixie who is either sweet, caring, mellow, calm, mature, or otherwise nothing like you would imagine, not to mention usually easy to fall in love with a certain unicorn.
I can see that this story is basically a combo of...well, basically #2, #3, and #4, which is nice. It's nice to see Trixie staying as who she is, but still willing to at least do what is needed to make a life for herself. Oh, and you're not the first to make a "back-story" with her hat and cape; another great Twilight x Trixie story put that into effect, too. It works there, and it works here! I love this!
Another great chapter that I really enjoyed reading. I loved the thoughts going through Trixie's head the entire time...and her inner-insults towards all those around her makes me grin; man I love that rotten little unicorn! She's so adorable! I knew right off the bat who it was in the crowd that had her hat and cape...and it was an interesting way you had Trixie let "him" know where to find her after embarrassing herself trying to track "him" down. The ending with Trixie meeting her "thief", which turned out to be her old "rival" and "enemy", Twilight Sparkle, was awesome! I can't wait to see the next chapter...which I will do right now...and find out how the meeting goes with Twilight's friends. That should be quite interesting. As of now, another great job! Loving this.
Adorable chapter. It was a blast seeing Trixie's reactions to Twilight's friends. I think Pinkie being the most outspoken and sweetest one worked perfectly. Love her or hate her, you just can't resist Pinkie Pie for long, and she eventually DOES help in her own mysterious ways, too...that was a good move. What Applejack said was very cryptic...did she simply mean what she said in a friendship type of way? Or...could she "see" something that no one else could? Ooh, can't wait to see! I love how Trixie is starting to feel a little bit good with the thought of friends, and her comments usually make me laugh. I couldn't find any errors, so props for that! I'm REALLY loving this story and I can't wait for more!
This was good
I can't wait for more :D
Chapter four, good to go!
I'm gonna be perfectly honest... I didn't really like how this chapter turned out. By all means, feel free to tear it apart, everypony, so long as it's constructive.
The pacing was good, and the foreshadowing is... nice to say the least, BUT, the emphasis on Trixie's relation with the others feels logical and well constructed; Pinkie is always relevant
I applaud that.
Trixie is best jerk? Uh, you did Pinkie perfectly? No, wait, that's also a compliment. I can't think of anything but compliments!
60630 Don't beat your work up.
The way you used scenes from the episodes to described her phobia was genius.
It was so good my writers block is gone, so I can work on my fic more.
Question. Did you cut Twilight's counter with the heights short because you couldn't think of why she wouldn't be scared in her balloon?
Look forward to more, and don't beat your work up.
60773
To be honest, the balloon was the hardest to explain. I cut it off not because I couldn't figure it out, but because I didn't think it needed to be repeated (since in the explanation paragraph, she talks about how she managed to face her fear in that one Return of Harmony episode). Plus, the text block needed some more action. Glad to hear your block is gone though; get out there and make a masterpiece!
Anyway, I'm glad y'all enjoy it so far. I'm still not overly satisfied with it, but if you all like it... then it can't be all that bad.
I might take a look at it again later, but for now, I'm satisfied that you're all satisfied. Thanks again for readin', and see you again in a couple days for part five! 
I'm liking this story. Eagerly awaiting the next update.
Loved it, as always. Really liked how Twilight's fear of heights was explained; it made logical sense, too. Pinkie is annoying, as always, but she works perfectly with the two unicorns; she keeps them "honest". Don't ask what that means...I don't really know myself. I saw only one or two errors, such as you forgetting quotation marks on one of Rainbow Dash's dialogues, but no big deal. The ending was cute, and (to me) seemed like some foreshadowing; that's always fun! Great job, and stop dissing your own stories; why must good writers always do that? Seriously, stop! It's wonderful and you know it!
60907
I guess I was mostly just afraid people wouldn't like me giving a main character a phobia
But could you possibly point out any errors in a message? If I know where to look, I can have them fixed straight away.
I probably would have used a different explanation for the fear of heights thing, based on my own experience with the fear. In me, it's a fear of falling. I can look out the window of a 72-floor skyscraper without fear, but climbing a stepladder makes me nervous. Most relevantly, airplanes only bother me when they're taking off or landing; when they're at altitude, the landscape doesn't look real, it just looks like some model being slowly winched past the window. So Twilight's problem might be that she's too close to the ground in a Ferris wheel (and can thus imagine herself going splat), while in a balloon her brain isn't able to comprehend just how high she is (so once she gets over the liftoff, she's okay). And even if looking down from Cloudsdale made her nervous, as long as she's not too near any edges, she'd be fine...
Foreshadowing? Check.
Easy to picture? Check.
Making sense with little mistakes? Check. (Totally agreeing with every other comment)
Amazing story that makes me wish the full thing was out? Yesplis
Awesome can't wait for more
Chapter might be a bit late today. Having trouble getting it pre-read... shouldn't be much longer.
Alright, theeeere we go. Ch. 5 up!
That was both sad and powerful. Personally, I don't see why Trixie thinks she has to apologize. I wouldn't in that case (of course that's just me). I'd be slightly annoyed if I was upstaged by my assistant, too...and everyone else bragged them up right in my face. But, I suppose it's a good tactic for getting Trixie to really start to "change". Her thought process is really sweet and emotional; she's clearly not used to such feelings. Plus, the dream/past that was seen at the end made me want to cry...I still remember the last time I saw my biological father...almost 13 years ago...and I hate the guy. *sighs* Really great chapter, though; I love this story.
This as a great chapter xD
63924
That last part was sad, but I liked it. Keep up the good writing, and don't push the story give yourself time to think and write it up.
Chapter six is up!
Also, a question for everypony: I'm probably going to go back and improve some things from past chapters, so I'm curious... do you like Trixie's thought process as it is, with her referring to herself even in her mind, or would you prefer if she kept her third person to her speech alone?
Personally I find the third-person even in her mind rather entertaining.
Anyways though this is yet another wonderful chapter~ Keep at it for everyponies sake, less we all break from a lack of reading.
67397 Another wonderful chapter. First, a few things you might want to fix. Remember, they're ponies; they don't have "feet". They have hooves. You say "feet" way too much. I suppose it's just a habit, but remember that they're not humans. They don't have hands or feet, but saying "arms" and "legs" isn't so wrong...since their forelegs are technically their arms and their hind legs are technically their legs. And...there were only one or two other minor errors that I saw.
As for the chapter itself, it was awesome. Twilight's letter...I have a small suspicion of what it might've said, but I'm curious to see if I'm right and when/if Trixie can find it. The scene with Dash and Fluttershy was...well, shocking. Honestly, I don't really like the pairing...but, regardless, it was adorable and I thought it was a funny and cool plot device for this chapter. What's next, Rarity and Applejack loving each other simply because their shops are always so close and they always bicker? *snickers* Pinkie...ugh, she was perfect; that's all that needs to be said. Dash being all spy-like at the end was...well, perfectly creepy. What WAS she doing? I must know! Another great chapter; you should be proud!
Oh, and as to your question...I like her thought process as is. Sure, her third-person speech (both inner and outer) CAN get slightly annoying...but, then again, so can Applejack's annoying country accent, but there's nothing that can be done about THAT. It's who Trixie is; you shouldn't change it. She's just an adorably-arrogant unicorn and likes to refer to herself in the third-person; keep it as it is. It works, trust me.
67397 Please keep it how it is. I love the old no, maybe, yes thing great. Flutterdash a good choice my friend. Love the chapter. TACTICAL RETREAT!!! Perfect
I really really adore this story
I really do LOVE this story. it definitely is my favorite BY FAR!!!
Chapter seven, up! Woo!
The chapter ended up being a lot larger than I'd expected, and therefore I broke it down into a two-parter. Hopefully, it'll be the largest chapter for this story. Therefore, expect part two out tomorrow, if I can get it done in time.
Was aiming to get this out before the 17th, since this chapter dabbles in a backstory for the festival/Equestria, and we all know tomorrow's episode is going to fire canon-balls upon everypony. Wanted to give everypony a chance to consider the story I had in mind when writing Festival... I'll probably end up editing this chapter later in order to better fit with whatever's revealed tomorrow.
Thanks to everypony who's read and enjoyed this far, you're all making this story as fun to write as I hope it is for you to read.
We're officially at the halfway point, and we've still got awhile to go...
Celestia speaking ye olde english
all of my yes.
Quite the episode indeed, and that twist at the end, i've seen it before, we'll see where this goes
Interesting. You're turning it into an adventure story as well? I guess it needs to earn that Sad tag somehow, because so far it haven't been very sad at all.
But I really must say that I couldn't bear reading through the entire show Celestia and Luna threw in there. It just felt like such a huge stack of nonsense. It didn't do an iota for the story as a whole and could probably be summarized into a a paragraph or four and still carry the information needed to further the story. I can understand that it's tempting to further develop your own universe, but dedicating 5345 words on it? That's a short fanfic in its own right.
In short, that story in the story didn't fit the tone of the previous chapters and served to remove my immersion in the story rather than furthering it. It wasn't exactly bad and could probably be interesting if developed as a separate fanfic, but as a part of this one it felt badly misplaced.
I am tracking your story though, and will of course continue to read it.
71053
Nah, this is probably the only chapter that'll be anything close to adventure. I admit, I'm not happy with how I went about giving the event some history, but hopefully the next chapter or two will do its job of getting the story back on track.
On an unrelated note, looks like Trixie's third-person internal monolog is here to stay.
Didn't see that coming, but it's a welcome turn of events