I am a nice brony who likes ponies, animals, bed sheet ghosts, stories about comforting friends/family, humor, tragedy, some horror, clop fics, being silly or adorable. Have a good day.
Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo have always been best friends, sisters even. But as life goes on, Scootaloo learns about the hardships and good moments. It won't be easy to be a flightless pegasus, especially, one with secrets. Luckily Rainbow Dash is there to help.
Page generated in 0.069 seconds
Total duration
674 users online
999,125 hits today, 2,054,621 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
The slipstream is in danger! D:
8433177
Why is the slipstream in danger? :-)
That was cute. I really liked the little conflict in chapter two, it was funny and showed how resourceful Scootaloo can be. But the story as a whole is great also and I can't wait to see what kind of situations Scootaloo gets herself in trying to fly, especially that jumping of a building idea. Though I would recommend moving that line "in the dream world" from chapter one, that could have been a tense moment, but the tension was removed because we knew it wasn't real. But, if you remove that line, you could trick your readers into thinking that Scootaloo is actually in danger. Also, try changing some of the dialogue to suit the characters a little more, for instance have Scootaloo say "Yeah, that'd be awesome, thank you." instead of just "sure, thank you." At the end of chapter three.
Though overall, I very much enjoyed the story. :)