• Published 1st Oct 2017
  • 742 Views, 20 Comments

The Real Pony Ghostbusters - Belligerent Bindlestiff



There's something strange going on in Manehattan. Some pony scientists are coming to save the world.

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Mass Hysteria!

Drawn by the impulses of the energy amassing at the building, Poindexter wandered the streets. He drifted through crowds of ponies that were now at the mercy of the recently freed spirits.

Street signs were flickering the wrong colors and even synchronized themselves with a performance with a group of possessed instruments that had floated out of a music shop, and began playing a tune.

If it weren’t for the fact that no pony could be seen playing them, and they were in the middle of the street, their chill tune would have been much more appreciated.

Various ghosts were scuffling between themselves. Some wanted to throw food from stores and there were other ghosts that were trying to eat all the food from the market.

Despite all of this, a certain chaotic spirit was nowhere to be see, either watching from somewhere unseen, or perhaps not inclined to care for this flavor of chaos.

Poindexter arrived, and began his ascent to find the Gatekeeper, Grazer’s influence would make sure that there wouldn’t be any ponies getting in the Keymaster’s way this time.

////

Behind reinforced, magical dampening bars, the Ghostbusters awaited news of their fate.

As far as current company was concerned, only a few vandals and purse snatchers shared the cell with them.

“It all comes down to this, the eve of the Secretariat Comet.” Vay said.

“I’d hate to break it to you, Vay.” Swift said. “But if we’re in jail, we probably won’t be getting a view of the sky. Meanwhile, I’ve got a problem with a very uppity mare.”

“She’s just one part of the whole scheme.” Neutrona said. “That building has been the center of a plot for destruction.”

Firm Ground approached and continued. “Grazer, he was a god from ancient times, before the princesses. I thought he was forgotten, only a part of Sumareian history. Grazer was basically known as a deity of destruction, most ponies made shrines to ask for protection.”

Some of the jail cell occupants moved in closer to hear.

“Grazer got ponies to invoke destruction on their enemies.” Firm Ground said.

“A certain group of ponies thought that the light, Celestia, was getting too strong and that she needed to be stopped.” Neutrona said. “They set their scheme in motion to occur in sync with the Secretariat Comet, probably also banking on the distracted forces of Equestria to be too busy to notice.”

Neutrona took off her glasses with her magic and rubbed the bridge of her muzzle. “They set about to bring the end of the world, and now it looks like it may actually happen.”

Before they could continue speaking on the crisis, the Ghostbusters were called up to the Mayor’s office.

////

Mayor Whinny was not having a great afternoon, her cabinet was giving reports of strange, even dangerous occurrences. Sure, Mahehattan was a tough city, but when your constituents are under attack by ghosts, there’s little the police could do.

Then the Ghostbusters entered the already crowded office, followed by a very cheesed off griffon.

“Mayor Whinny.” Gawker Peck said. “These four set off a necromantic pulse that has unleashed dark magics throughout the city.”

“Your honor.” Vay began. “Our containment grid was working just fine until this cocky bird decided to shut it off.”

“Is this true?” the Mayor asked.

“Yes, its true.” Swift said. “But honestly, Mr. Peck is probably only a little cocky.”

Gawker Peck lunged at Swift before the guards separated them.

“Hey! Violence is never the answer! I can always counsel you on your short comings!” Swift said.

“ENOUGH!” the mayor yelled. “So what am I supposed to do?”

There was a sense of urgency from the halls outside. Ponies sounded like they were scrambling, and then there was silence just before the door opened.

The Princess of the Night walked through.

“Your Majesty!” The mayor said before kneeling, as did everypony else.

“Arise!” Luna said. “Tis not the time for formalities.”

“Great, just the princess we needed to see!” The mayor said gratefully. “Can you help us with this mess?”

“Sadly, we are here only briefly to assess the situation.” Luna said. “As thou hast no doubt heard, other parts of Equestria are in peril as well. Mine own sister is fighting a threat in Canterlot. And we are currently searching for the bearers of the Elements of Harmony. But if thou truly need our help, we shall give it.”

“Princess Luna.” Gawker Peck said. “These four ponies have been trying to undermine your sister’s anti-necromancy laws!”

Luna turned to the Ghostbusters. “Explain thine case.”

“Your majesty, our studies have been only to try to help ponies.” Neutrona said. “We capture hostile spirits and have been storing them to keep other ponies safe.”

“Gawker Peck thought we were the ones doing the city harm.” Firm Ground said. “But his overzealousness let all of the ghosts out. Which is why Manehattan is in all sorts of trouble.”

“Worse yet, it wasn’t until recently that we uncovered a plot by forces unknown setting a course for disasters of ancient proportions.” Vay said.

“What do you mean ‘ancient’?” The mayor asked.

“Forces ponykind hasn't seen in millenia, we’re talking about Wendigo level stuff.” Vay said. “Hail and meteors raining in from the sky!”

“Nature overtaking cities.” Neutrona said. “Ponies at each others throats!”

“Storms destroying all in their wake!” Firm Ground added. “The dead rising from the graves!”

“Ponies sacrificing each other!” Swift yelled. “Cats and dogs, living together. MASS HYSTERIA!”

“Enough! I get the point!” The mayor said. “But that doesn’t tell me how to help the ponies of my city!”

Swift stepped forward and muttered to himself. “I can’t believe I’m doing this.” His voice got louder. “Give us a shot at whatever this thing is!”

The other Ghostbusters looked on in surprise.

“It’ll give Princess Luna the time she needs to go wherever else she needs to be in Equestria.”

“We can prove that we can deal with these things too.” Firm Ground said.

“If I’m wrong, nothing happens, and you can throw us in the dungeon for being fakes or whatever charges Gawker Peck thinks we did.” Swift said.

“But if I’m right, and we can stop this thing. Whinny, you will have shown Equestria how a group of ponies from Manehattan toughed it out, and no voter will ever forget that.” Swift said.

Luna smirked only the slightest, but then returned to her serious demeanor. “Such bravery, other ponies could learn from their initiative. And furthermore, we see ponies that are trying to help.”

“Help?” Gawker Peck asked incredulously.

“Yes, help.” Luna said. “There is more to helping that accusing others of doing wrong. These ponies are trying to do the right thing, we can sense it. Gawker Peck, your services are no longer needed.”

“But I was supposed to-“ Peck was cut off as he was escorted out of the office.

“We thank these…Ghostbusters for their aid. We are needed elsewhere.” Luna said before leaving the room.

“Okay, what are we waiting for?” the mayor asked.

////

Much to the delight of Swift and his ego, Mayor Whinny ordered the police and local guard to escort the Ghostbusters on their way to the apartment building. If the situation didn’t seem so dire, the spectacle might have looked like a parade.

The Ghostbuster’s cart, or “Ecto One” as Vay had insisted be its name, pulled up to the front of Coco Pommel’s building.

Crowds of onlookers cheered for the team, despite the darkness gathering in the middle of the day. Signs were held high by adoring fans and appreciative clients.

The Ghostbusters put on their proton saddle packs and stood at the entrance.

“Yeah, I’ll meet you up top.” Swift said, taking to the air. Then lightning struck all around the building. Swift drifted back down.

The earth began to shake, startling the crowd. Everypony held on for dear life, until it subsided.

Swift was the only team member still visible after the earthquake had left the ground shattered and jagged. “Don’t worry, we’re okay!” he said, floating down to help the others up.

The crowd cheered, not having their hopes dashed. The team continued on inside.

////

What followed was an arduous clime up flights and flights of stairs, except for Swift. He floated up with them. Between the debris knocked through the staircase and the lightning outside, he didn’t have a straight shot to Coco’s apartment.

////

Poindexter had found Coco’s room. “I am the Keymaster.”

“I am the Gatekeeper.” She replied, and the two of them climbed to the top of the building.

There, an altar lay before the grandiose stone mural. The ponies embraced, kissed, and began the rites to issue forth something terrible into the world.

////

When the Ghostbusters had finally found coco’s apartment, they discovered it had been blasted by lightning, yet the destruction left a path leading upwards, carved of stone that appeared to have been part of the building the whole time.

They were led to where the ceremony had been completed, the Ghostbusters saw Poindexter and Coco standing on platforms on the sides of the grand mural.

“Coco!” Swift called out, but thunder drowned out his voice.

Electricity ran through the possessed ponies’ bodies. Then they began to grow, but there was also a growth of leathery skin bursting from underneath their coats.

Their own skin stretched out and tore off, remnants of who they were scattered to the wind. The result was two monstrous creatures that growled at the team before leaping into the dimensional doorway that had opened.

“I think that she’s going to need to redesign her clothes.” Swift said.

The Ghostbusters moved to view the shrine directly, it was as Coco had described to them when she first came to the firehouse.

At the top of the staircase within the portal, emerged an alicorn. Her coat was pink with a crystalline-like pattern adorning it. She had a black, military cut mane and had deep red eyes.

“That’s Grazer.” Firm Ground said. “We can’t let her get through.”

“I thought you said Grazer was a he?” Vay asked.

“It’s a deity, Grazer can be whatever it wishes to be.”

The ancient entity was apparently in no rush. Grazer took her time to pet the beasts that had helped usher her into this world. She took in the view of the Manehattan skyline.

“Go get her Vay!” Swift said.

The unicorn just hesitantly took a few steps. “Grazer the Grazarian!” he said. “As a privately licensed and recently sanctioned paranormal expert and citizen of Manehattan., I hereby ask that you cease and desist any and all supernatural activity that disrupts harmony.”

Grazer regarded the Ghostbuster.

“And if you’d please return to your point of origin, or closest dimension. That would be much appreciated.”

“Well, at least he’s asking nicely!” Firm Ground said.

Grazer then asked in a deep, raspy voice. “Are you a god?”

Valence blinked, and responded. “Well, no, but if you’d hold tight, we can get Princess back here. Though it still remains to be known if Alicorn are-“

“DIE!” Grazer yelled, interrupting and blasted the team away with PK energy.

Firm Ground then grabbed hold of Neutrona and clung to the altar.

Valence went off the edge, but Swift was able to catch and bring him back onto the roof.

Firm Ground looked over to Vay. Swift was panting from saving his colleague. “The next time somepony asks if you’re a god, say YES!”

“Enough screwing around!” Swift said. “I say we move onto shock therapy!”

Each of the Ghostbusters readied their packs and neutrona wands. Grazer stared at the team, reading another wave.

‘Nuh-uh, not again!” Swift said and fired the first stream which connected. Grazer however, then shot into the air before the other streams of protons particles could hit.

Grazer landed and then hovered above the pillar above them. “How clever, I thought the Ungalla were all too distracted for my arrival.” Grazer said.

“All at once!” Firm Ground said. “3-2-1!” they let loose their shots and the streams collided with the deity, followed by an explosion.

“Neutralized.” Vay said. “It’s body must have been barely been stable enough for our plane of existence.”

Neutrona put on her PKE goggles. “No sign of any remnants, but the shrine is still hot.”

And as if in response, a voice sounded from the sky.

“Grazer the Destructor, the Traveler has come. Now choose. Choose the form of the destructor!”

“What do you mean?” Valence asked.

“It’s a trick!” Swift said. “If we think of anything, that’s what will come to destroy us. If we think of a pink fluffy pony, a pink and fluffy pony will appear and destroy us.”

“Is there a limit to this?” Firm Ground asked.

“How long does my head have to be empty?” Neutrona asked. “I might go brain dead from this.”

“The choice is made!” the voice said.

“Hey! We were barely arguing semantics!” Swift said. “As far as I know, a pony can’t manifest itself as semantics, can it Neutrona?”

“Not really a tangible concept.” She replied.

“See? That’s the word of two doctors!” Swift said. “Help us out here Vay!”

Valence was only silent.

“Please tell us you didn’t.” Firm Ground said.

“I couldn’t help it, it just popped in there.” Vay said.

“Sweet Celestia!” Neutrona cried out.

In the distance, an enormous, white pony mare with a light purple marshmallow mane trotted loudly through the street. It wore blue sailor’s clothes and smiled as it made its way causing terror down the streets of Manehattan.

“I tried to beat you all to the punch. I tried to think of something that could never possibly destroy us.” Vay said.

“It’s Puffy, the Marshmallow Pony.” Swift said.

“We used to roast them back at Camp Friendship when I was a colt.” Vay said.

“Vay is slowly losing it, ideas Neutrona?” Swift asked.

“I’ve been used to cleaning up after Valence when we were young. Never thought he’d do something to get us killed.”

The monstrosity trotted towards their building, but its mascot face of happiness turned into a glare.

“Marshmallows still burn.” Firm Ground said. “I don’t think this god knows that.” She readied her pack. The others did as well. “Roast this pony!” she yelled.

Four brilliant streams of light shot from the top of the building and set the monster on fire.

“It’s not enough!” Neutrona said. “We’d drain ourselves before burning Grazer’s snout off.”

An updraft of fire raced up the side of the building. The marshmallow pony then straddled the building and began an awkward ascent.

The Ghostbusters took cover from behind an edge on the roof.

“You know, there’s all those stories you hear of the Elements of Harmony saving the day, or the princesses doing mortal battle.” Valence said. “But I don’t think they’ve ever been close to being killed by a 100-foot marshmallow pony.”

“It gives you perspective.” Firm Ground said.

“Death isn’t our only option.” Neutrona said. “We can take out the monster and stop the dimensional door in one shot.” She pointed to the shrine with her wand. “The door swings both ways, if we can reverse the polarity, then we win.”

“There’s a catch, isn’t there?” Swift asked.

“We’re going to have to cross the steams.” Neutrona said.

“Oh, that thing you took your time telling us that could explode our molecules?” Swift asked.

“Well, there is still a slim chance we could survive.” Neutrona said.

“I love this plan, and I’m excited to be part of one where there’s the slightest chance I won’t die!” Swift said and they made their way to the front of the portal.

“So glad there was life insurance option when I took this job.” Firm Ground said. “Because hazard pay was so much better with the guard.”

Grazer, the marshmallow pony had reached the top of the building and was about ready to peek over the edge.

“Most ponies don’t die trying to prove their theories, but I hope the textbooks give us credit.” Neutrona said.

“I’m sure they will.” Vay said. “I guess you’ll end up with that job being a shrink in the sky after all Swift.”

“That’s one way of looking at it.” Swift said, powering on his pack and firing.

“Good, because I’ll have a whole lot to say in my first session.” Firm Ground said.

Their proton streams intersected and formed pockets of conflicting quarks on the bonds of energy. There was a massive explosion that re-lit the area like daylight under the already unnatural dark sky.

The marshmallow pony instantly melted and splattered to the wind and ground. Melted sugar covered the surface of neighborhoods. The entire grandiose structure that was once the top of the apartment building was now in charred ruins.

Despite everything, the team emerged from ash and marshmallow goo.

“Hey Neutrona,” Vay said, standing up. “How low were our odds of survival?”

His sister slogged out of the marshmallow. “One in ten million.” She replied.

Firm Ground knocked off a piece of rock that had fallen over the spot where she dived to just before the explosion. “Maybe I should buy a lottery ticket then.”

Swift had crawled out of his own nook. “Seriously?” he said. “Neutrona, you really do overplay the danger. And Vay, don’t eat the marshmallow.”

Vay had some on his fetlock and was in the middle of bringing it to his mouth. “Yeah, you’re probably right.”

“We may have survived, but I can’t say the same for Grazer’s minions.” Neutrona said.

Swift sighed as he looked at the charred husks that were once the terror dogs. Then, they began to stir.

“No way.” Firm Ground said.

The team dived to help once they saw hooves breaking out from the carbonized carcasses. Vay and Neutrona got Poindexter out.

“Wow, do I have a new idea for a campaign!” the nerdy pony said.

“You play Ogres and Oubliettes too?” Vay asked. “You gotta let me in on a game sometime!”

“Mr. Poindexter, would you mind letting us have a sample of your brain tissue?” Neutrona asked.

“Will it hurt?” Poindexter asked.

“Not as much as you’d think.” Neutrona replied.

“Ok then!” Poindexter replied.

Swift and Firm ground got Coco Pommel free and the seamstress looked absolutely exasperated.

“I know, I’m shocked to see me too” Swift said. “Sorry about the date. I never got too involved on first dates. I like to show restraint.”

“Guess I’ll have to schedule a second one then.” Coco replied and kissed Swift.

Firm Ground watched everypony head downstairs, she stayed on top of the building and looked over the city. The sun was shining once more, and here she was. One of four ponies that had stopped something form destroying Equestria.

Her life was on track for some real adventures. “I love this town!” she yelled.

The Ghostbusters filed out of the building to a marshmallow covered street, and were escorted back home. Manehattan’s newest saviors.

Comments ( 3 )

“Yes, its true.” Swift said. “But honestly, Mr. Peck is probably only a little cocky.”

Yes, it's true. This bird has no dick.

“What do you mean ‘ancient’?” The mayor asked.

"What he means is old testament, Ms. Mayor. Real wrath of God type stuff. Fire and brimstone coming down from the sky! Rivers and seas boiling!"
"40 years of darkness! Earthquakes, volcanoes!"
"The dead rising from the grave!"
"Pony sacrifices, dogs and cats living together, MASS HYSTERIA!"

Street signs were flickering the wrong colors and even synchronized themselves with a performance with a group of possessed instruments that had floated out of a music shop, and began playing a tune.

“Gawker Peck thought we were the ones doing the city harm.” Firm Ground said. “But his overzealousness let all of the ghosts out. Which is why Manehattan is in all sorts of trouble.”

He had no athority to shutdown anything

“Yes, help.” Luna said. “There is more to helping that accusing others of doing wrong. These ponies are trying to do the right thing, we can sense it. Gawker Peck, your services are no longer needed.”

Finally 😎

I wish that had happened to Walter Peck in the movie.

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