• Member Since 4th Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen Dec 13th, 2018

Dumakey93


I became a brony around October 2011. I want to see how well I write stories. With my average literary skills and fascination for FIM, I hope to have an interesting journey on the Brony Express!

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It seems that the battle with Discord is over, there is no hope left for Twilight and her friends, or is there?
Read and find out....

Chapters (9)
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Comments ( 10 )

You spoiled most of the fix in the description

Thanks for pointing that out, how stupid of me.:derpytongue2: There...now there are no spoilers!!

thank you for fixing the dialogue on this chapter i'll await future updates.

218888....Well you just took the words out of my mouth so... Yeah.

Well then.... This shit annoys me. First off, it goes to fast and lacks detai. Also, why do multiple stories? Put it all one, just do one story line to a point to where they cross then go back to where they separate and go thru the other line, I mean... Damn. This is alot of work for a shitty story. I mean don't get me wrong, it has potenal but lacks focus. Take your time with it and work out the details, there's a reason most good stories take a long time to write out. I for one don't mind waiting on good stories to update. All that means is that it's thought out and not thrown together peices off crap like this one. I know you might be angry at me calling your story crap, but holy shit does this suck. But, if you take my advice and and detail it could come out very well.

231388
Actually, I've been meaning to combine two stories anyway. By the way, I am actually relieved that someone critically analyzed my work (even if it is a poorly written story). Instead of rewriting the story, I shall increase my effort to focus on adding details to the plot and the characters after a certain point. Thank you for the review.:twilightsmile:

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