Major Wolfrick von Hartmann a German soldier in WWIII, nicknamed "Soldier". A man who achieved the highest kill count in only 5 years, being known for also the most kills done with a shovel and the most kills achieved in a suicide explosion. But, as mentioned above, he is deceased... Or at least was supposed to be. He now inhabits the body of a cute pegasus mare named Derpy with a passionate love for muffins. I suppose you all realize he won't sit still and live a quiet life, right? Nope, he'll become the most dangerous and feared warrior in the history of Equus... And some things better left unmentioned...
Tags will be added and removed according to the progress of the story.
Rated teen for stupid and dark humor and maybe a little gore later, also cursing and suggestive stuff.
That's it, hope you enjoy.
Ahem. I said that's it.
You can stop reading now.
Nothing will happen.
Stop it.
You don't want to listen do you?
This is the end, I promise.
Why don't you trust me?
I swear there isn't anything left!
Stop looking.
PLEASE THERE IS NOTHING LEFT!
Penis
I told you not to look.
You will pay now.
With muffins.
Give me muffins.
I demand a muffin.
You don't want to give muffins do you?
Well I didn't need your muffins anyway!
Hmph!
Stop reading.
I'm serious.
Fuck you.
You got my like. Must be strange as male to wake up in a female body. So...Derpy's 20, Dinky 8, as such Derpy was only 12 when she got Dinky
8411534
Firstly, he doesn't really mind he's become female, he has really few fucks to give, and he ain't wasting them on that.
And secondly, yep. I'll touch upon that subject deeply in a future chapter.
8411539
I see, given his battle experience. Was a first reaction thought of mone when I read it. The second could be very interesting for the readers
8411539
COuld do with a bit of a rewrite, but the idea itself is interesting!
Try third person with reactions.
8411551
I suppose. I guess I didn't really point out that obviously when the points of view change, eh? Well curently I'm testing a new format of writing, so I'll try to make it better in due time!
8411558
ALso don't troll your readers too much. It's fine once in a while, but when you do it too much it's like having a PM conversation with an a-hole.
I see that someone likes TeamFourStar's version of Hellsing Ultimate.
is this split personality? or him faking at times and if split are they aware of each others actions
8411620
Sure sure. I won't troll everyone... Too much.
8411632
How'd you know?
8411653
Yes, we need a minigun that shoots shovels.
8411762
Nope, not split personality. It's kinda like Derpy's personality afected him. Since Derpy isn't gone, it's like Derpy just got a lot of memories all of a sudden.
8412407
That's all we ask. Actually, troll us in the Author's Notes. Actual story should be kept troll free except for EXTREMELY special occasions otherwise you run the risk of pissing off your readers. Also try third person.
8412411
Of course! If I put a troll in all chapters it'll get stupid too fast. I can't just make troll parts at random either. That'll be boring. In the chapters the troll parts will be exptremly rare, just like a really rare Pepe.
8412407
Because I just rewatched the episodes the day before reading this. Glad to see another fan :D
8412416
Hah, but I gotta ask. What gave it away?
8412418
This all leads to one scene in Episode 5.
8412426
Hehehehe... I love that part.
It would be fun seeing Derpy/Ditzy joining the Royal guard and putting them to shame with the military training
8412741
The picture of the story + the royal guards in the tags. Is it not obvious what she's gonna do?
8412415
Yup. Also try third person. I think it would be better to just have people react.
8413142
Working on it. I'll try to make it work somehow, since I have the habit of telling in detail what the characters are thinking.
8413147
And that's fine. It sounds like third person omniscient would work best for you then.
I'm not trying to sound experienced but for me personally, first person is a difficult way to write. People get tempted to overanalyze a single action to the point where it takes up three pages talking about why one put a cup in a certain place.
...I totally did not write a story like that. Honest.
Third person limited lets you do the thought process while reminding you, the author, to advance the plot.
8413186
I'll try. Just to be carefull about it. And not get stuck with writing each and every character's thoughts regarding a scene and make it for 10k words with only a scene or some bullshit like that.
8412889
Didn't really looked at it, sorry, got to the first chapter as soon as the page loaded
8413193
Yup. One POV tends to be enough. Two is okay. Three is pushing it. Four or more is a no go unless you're doing a mystery.
i didnt like the big wall of black bars if there isnt going to be something there it just seems a waste of space small trolls are fine
8413533
If it would have been short would anyone believe it? I doubt it. If I'm making a troll it's gotta be convincing.
8414120
I didn't notice this at first but with the teen rating everybody would know it's a troll since you can't be explicit or descriptive
8414122
Actually you can. You can describe in quite high detail and it will still be considered teen.
8414130
Really I didn't know that I suck at writing
I love this
This is cool
8531973
Glad you liked it.
8531984
More then like it love it
and derpy is now a bad ass
8532001
Well I hope I will not disappoint you with future chapters!
8532003
Pretty much.
8532014
Only time will tell on that, but I'll let ya know, so far I'm loving this
Will i do plan to read this (when it has a few more chapters) i do wonder is this a random mind takes tg body pf a random pony years after said pony is born or is this more a human becomes siad pony at siad ponys birth
8532154
It is someone taking over a pony's mind, however, different from how I've seen others do it, since he remembers all the memories and gets some of the feelings of the pony who's body he took over.
8532971
Ok so more he and derpy become one pony/person
8533036
Not exactly. More like he just got her memories and the feelings she has for a few ponies.
8533582
Ok
I cant wait to see more of this! There spelling errors shure but the story is good enough for me to ignore them. Please carry on i cant wait to see more
8538964
Please point them out if you find mistakes. I tend to overlook them whenever I'm reading something I wrote. Dunno why, I usually find them easily when I edit a friend's story. Maybe it has to do with my ego or something. But either way, please point out any mistakes you find so I may fix them!
Well, Dinky can actually be proud of her mother
Ahhh paperwork.... the bane of all joy
Good too see it back boss!
In not the right guy to awsk about writeing mistakes but...idk I thought it was fine!
It's no masterpiece but that's not what I'm reading for you dig?
It's the jokes my good man that's the real good stuff!
Any who keep writeing and stop writeing if you don't enjoy it.
8816333
Write I will, how long it'll take however is an entirely different thing. Oh well, I'll come out eventually. Not like I do this stuff for anything but entertainment, for me and others.
8814892
Is it weird that I find those kind of activities kinda relaxing? Probably.
8814867
Everyone should be proud at the cuteness of The Bubbles. Heh... Bubbles.
8816362
indeed. One thing’s for sure, if Dinky gets hurt, her mother will make the pony who did this pay. I mean, a German elite soldier with great experience, you don’t want to enrage that.
I like the Ed, Edd, and Eddy picture joke at the end.
8826613
Wat.
I can't wait to see what comes next.