Delinquency

by Daemon McRae

Act Three: You're Needed on Set

Act Three: You’re Needed on Set

Raven Inkwell was not naturally a curious person. She, in fact, had very little to do with her family’s many business ventures, having gone her own way in life, and perfectly happily so, as one of the many bees buzzing in the hive of City Hall. She found being in the presence of someone who knew what they were doing very comforting. Which helped her develop the ability to determine whether someone was actually the right person for the job, or just faking it.

This only served to confuse her more as her particular talent seemed to go haywire around this motley crew of teenagers. Of course, the Treble boy had said all the right things, Twilight had all the right equipment, and the rest seemed to have the right attitude, but still, they were only kids. How much experience could they possibly have, she asked herself. Yet she saw in them something most of the other investigators, charlatans, and midnight crazies had all lacked: a genuine appreciation for the threat they may or may not face.

Many of the others she’d hired, ranging from local paranormal clubs to self-proclaimed psychics, and even an honest-to-god onmyoji, had all come in with the confidence that there was merely a loose pipe somewhere in the walls, or a simple spirit that needed cleansing. If the Inkwell Estate had been haunted, they’d all assured her, they’d know by now. Everyone seemed to be ‘in the know’, and yet know absolutely nothing. Many had run out of the house, one or two while screaming One gentleman, a spiritualist well past his fifties, whom Raven had thought of as her best bet at the time, had simply set foot in the lobby, looked about himself, and smiled sadly at her, saying there was nothing he could do.

It was, in fact, that same gentleman who had recommended she talk to Celestia, in regards to a team of ‘specialists’ the Principal had lying around. Of course, she had no intention of telling the boys that some old stranger she’d never heard of had told her to talk to a high school principal to get her house un-haunted, as simply saying the sentence in her head made her sound crazier than the bullet train of frightful events that had brought her to this moment in the first place. She kept herself mostly quiet, in fact, as she watched the group set up the considerable and very confusing array of technology in the sitting room to the side of the main foyer. Of course, she’d helped where she could, not wanting to be rude, and certainly not wanting to be the only adult in the room and not doing anything.

When they were as set up as they were going to be, Raven sat them all down in the assorted lounge chairs and couches in the sitting room (those that weren’t occupied by smaller sensors and cases), and gave them a more specific and in-depth description of the job. “I don’t know how much any of you know about this estate, so here goes: Dry Inkwell, the founder of The First Times, Canterlot’s first majorly-circulated newspaper, was originally a real-estate mogul. Not exactly a genius, but he had a penchant for acquiring land where it was cheapest: the several dozen acres this house sits on was a purchase he’d made on the cheap as part of a deal to keep a family in their homes on the outskirts of town. As far as I know he kept himself away from the shadier deals, intent on building his family name on honor and cleverness. Rumor has it he was also paranoid of gathering too many enemies in case he spread his resources too thin and they came in to take it all. But as soon as he had the land, he started building, fully intent on turning this land into the focus of the Inkwell name.

“Well, it worked. Anyone who knows anyone who knows an Inkwell knows about this house, and there was a time where this was the most socially popular place in the city: lavish parties and rubbing elbows with anyone who could ‘do something’ for you. I don’t want to imagine the kind of sordid affairs that took place here, let alone what my family has been up to since Dry himself had himself buried in the backyard, but I couldn’t tell you if any of that ‘bad blood’ has anything to do with… this,” she gestured to the room at large, and in fact, the entire house. “I’d like to tell you not to go rooting around through all of the rooms, but given the fact that I couldn’t even tell you how many rooms there ARE, I imagine those words have about as much power behind them as a light bulb in a cornfield. So I’d really just ask that you not break anything that I’d need to spend money repairing, lest I take it out of your paychecks. And who knows, if you find something that helps you do… whatever it is you intend to do, by all means, root around. I don’t have any of my personal possessions in this house, that I’m aware of, so it’s not my dirty laundry you’re sorting through.

“As far as the actual job goes. It occurs to me that perhaps nobody has told you exactly what kind of… phenomena have occurred here, or you wouldn’t be as bright-eyed and bushy-tailed as you seem,” she said dryly, looking about her. Indeed, all but Indigo, who was waiting for her cue to leave, and take Raven with her, looked as though the candy store had closed for the night with them inside.

“You’d be surprised,” Rubble replied, with a noted sideways glance to Spooks. The skinny kid was staring at some of the paintings around him, period pieces mostly, with great interest. In fact, with his tweed vest, button down shirt, and black slacks, he looked like he could have stepped right out of any of them.

Raven gave Bones an appraising look, and pressed on, nonplussed. “Like I ways saying. I can’t say I’m any more of an expert in this field than I was two months ago, when I started this horrid venture, so I don’t know what qualifies as ‘standard’ or ‘common’ occurrences.” She had a manner of speaking that leaned on certain words as if she had heard of air quotes and decided her energy was better spent doing anything else. “What I do know is that those who have come and gone since my father’s passing, including the other members of my family, have reported seeing all manner of ghosts, phantom lights, thick fogs, and moving furniture. To be honest, when my cousins first started talking about it, I thought they were merely trying to drive me out of the house. Then my mother, who wouldn’t know a ghost from a grapefruit, started complaining about the same things, and refused to stay in the house.”

“Pardon me,” Twilight interrupted, politely raising her hand.

“Yes?” Inkwell said.

“I was curious, if you have so many living relatives, how did this estate end up in your possession? Didn’t you say you were trying to keep out of your family’s affairs?” Sparkle asked. Spooks and Treble nodded approvingly at this line of questioning. The rest just looked like any kid in class: bored and waiting for the fun part to start.

“I did,” Raven replied with a smile. “Which I think is why my father willed it to me. My parents are no longer married. I won’t go into the details, as it’s none of your business, but my father got the house and the land in the separation, much to the chagrin of the rest of the family. At least, until they came ‘round trying to weasel their way in. Now I’m the only one who wants anything to do with the land, and that’s just so I have a nice quiet house miles away from everyone where people can rightly fuck off,” she finished a little more sternly than she’d liked. Feeling herself getting flustered, and seeing some mixed reactions from her outburst, she took a moment to compose herself. “As you can imagine, having a house full of ghost and monsters and god knows what else makes isolationism very difficult. I’ve tried staying in different rooms of the house. I’ve tried staying on different parts of the land. I’ve had priests, psychics, magicians, paranormal researchers, and a few people with titles I can’t even pronounce traipsing through these halls only to have them turn around and leave at speed at the first opportunity.”

Indigo didn’t bother with the formality of an ‘excuse me’ or a raised hand. “So why the hell did you put all your eggs in this wacko basket?” she sniped, jabbing a thumb at the boys. “I can’t imagine they have any professional experience in ghost-busting or monster hunting.” Before Raven could respond, the boys looked about themselves, and burst out laughing. Even Twilight started to chuckle. “What’s so funny?” Indigo demanded.

Treble was the first to compose himself, and he started ticking off a list on his fingers: “Wargs. zombies, flesh golems, Beasts from the Outer Rings, wraiths, ghouls-”

Rubble cut in, “-Interdimensional teenage magical demon chicks, cultists, poltergeists-”

Then Spooks, “-wights, ladies in white, kappas, redcaps, tommyknockers, cursed items-”

And finally, Dusty, “-at least one vampire, a werewolf, star spawn, byahkee, culling songs, mnemetic demons, real demons, dark young, and if I remember correctly, there was an Alala in Manehatten over the summer when you went off to your cousin’s right, Spooks?”

The wispy kid nodded. “Yeah, but I really just kind of ran away from that one. Last I heard it doesn’t really cause trouble as long as you stay out of that tunnel.”

Raven tilted her head in confusion and concern. “I don’t… I don’t know what most of those even are.”

“Yeah,” Rubble groaned, leaning back in his chair. He rubbed his leg with a free hand. “And up until a year and a half ago, neither did we. Believe me, there’s a lot worse things going on in this city than whatever’s in this house. But it’s not like they put up wanted ads or billboards, so we look for it whenever we can. As far as things that go bump in the night, an actual ghost is about as vanilla as it gets, which is a nice change of pace for us. Go talk to basically anyone that went to this year’s Fall Formal, then trust us when we tell you we’ve seen worse.”

Again, Raven took a moment to compose herself. She got the distinct impression that they weren’t lying, but she prided herself on her professionalism, and wasn’t about to let a long list of very strange words keep her off-kilter. The house had done enough of that thank you very much. Although she did share a pang of sympathy with Indigo, who was staring at the group of boys like they’d all grown extra heads and had started talking through their eyes. “Well, if any of that is true, then I can see why Celestia thought you might be able to help. But let me be clear on one thing: yes, that is a lot of money I’m offering. Yes, I’m desperate. And NO, you don’t get paid unless this house is so free of ghost and goblins that there’s not even a science-fiction book left on the shelves, am I clear?”

“Crystal, Miss Inkwell,” Treble said politely. She still wasn’t sure about that one.

“Fantastic. Now, let me give you the fifty-cent tour, so we can get to the part where I see if you all just wasted my time and gas money.”

-------------------------------

The fifty-cent tour involved showing them where the kitchen was, which they were assured was decently stocked, and it wasn’t any of her concern how much they ate, and no she wouldn’t tell you where the wine cellar is thank you and good night. Next was a rather lavish parlor, pool tables and all, and a brief glance at the courtyard in the center of the house. Apparently, the entire structure was a giant square, as Dry Inkwell, even with his penchant for grandiose gestures and lavish displays, had wanted a house even an idiot couldn’t get lost in. Apparently all you had to do to find your way around was walk until you hit a wall, at which point there would assuredly be a staircase, should you be bored or stupid enough to go to the higher floors, after which you simply needed to repeat the process until you found the hallway with the great big fuck-off double doors.

Most of the rest of the house was an assortment of bedrooms, amenities, and show-offy lounges and sitting rooms where one could expect to not be found for many hours, as nobody had any intention of coming to look for you past the first floor. “And now that we’re back at the foyer,” Raven noted, as they walked in front of the aforementioned double doors, “I have some unfortunate news for you.”

The boys looked at each other curiously. “What, the big-ass huanted house isn’t enough?” Dusty quipped.

“Believe me, I wish it was,” Raven drawled. “No. As Treble said earlier, it seems Celestia had told you that I was going to leave as soon as you were well established. For a variety of reasons, not the LEAST my insurance premiums, that is exactly what is NOT going to happen. As much as I’d like to run home and eat ice cream until I physically can’t anymore, I’ve seen at least one horror movie in my lifetime, and as such letting you self-admitted hooligans run rampant through a multi-million dollar estate without at least one chaperone is financial suicide. Not to mention the absolute hell I’d likely catch from your parents.”

Rubble nodded. “Yeah, my mom would probably kill you if I died alone in here.” The rest of the boys nodded.

Indigo looked at Raven as though she were as crazy as the crew she’d brought here. “Well, that’s all fine and dandy, but if you’re staying, lady, I’m out of here!” she stormed off through the open front doors, slamming one behind her as she left. There was a pause, after which she slammed the other one.

“Well, that’s nice,” Spooks said simply. The other boys and Twilight burst out laughing, and even Raven let herself smile a little.

The group moved into the sitting room, chatting as amicably as the situation allowed. They had barely let their rears touch the cushions, however, when they heard Indigo scream from outside. “Oh, goddammit!” Rubble grunted, as his natural reaction to run towards the yelling left him twisted sideways, his brace happily impeding his forward progress and sending him spinning in place until he fell on his side onto the couch.

Dusty looked back, as the other boys had jumped up and run to Indigo’s aid. “Just go,” Rubble grunted, shifting his weight to a seated position. DD gave him as close to a sympathetic look as he could, then joined the rest.

What they found was Indigo on her knees, kneeling next to her van. She wasn’t moving, save for a few gentle shakes of her shoulders. “Um… Indigo?” Twilight asked quietly.

Spooks held up a hand to stall her. “I wouldn’t,” he said quietly, but Twilight ignored him.

She crept up to her friend, and gently laid a hand on her shoulder. “Indigo, are you ok?”

All of a sudden, Indigo wheeled around, throwing her arms around Twilight’s waist. “MY VAN HAS A FLAT TIRE!!!”

Comments

[Phoenix Flight]

Welp, you're stuck Indigo. Unless you want to go running off through the forest like everyone in any b-rate horror movie. And the geico commercial.

[The Wind King]

The boys looked at each other curiously. “What, the big-ass huanted house isn’t enough?” Dusty quipped.

Haunted (you got the "a" & "u" the wrong way round)
_________________________________________________________________________________

You know with all of this build up I'm kind of expecting something utterly underwhelming to happen. Just like a dog with a computer console under a table.

[Deadmetal]

You know with everything those guys have faced prior to this story and how they keep on relaying their experience with things of the supernatural and strange whenever their skills are put into doubt. I'm actually very interested to see if you have a prequel short or two bouncing around in the idea bin recounting their grandiose exploits that got them to where they are today. Like when they faced a werewolf or that one time they ran into a vampire. With the way you have set up this story's own little universe and it's characters, there is a lot of potential tales to tell just from that alone. Another awesome chapter by the way.

[Latrans]

I found this story yesterday. It requires a like and follow.

[Jarimor]

dat bait and switch.

[Alitaher003]

Ok, I started reading this WAAAAY BACK when I think it was still getting published, and I stopped there. Now that I'm back here I can keep going.

I'm glad that the author wrote Schadenfreude as well, because that's what reminded me this story existed and was cool as fuck.