• Member Since 13th Nov, 2012
  • offline last seen 6 hours ago

hamcon


T

Rainbow Dash has been feeling a great deal of pain lately, from headaches to sore limbs, but she brushes them off to perform her first Wonderbolt show. During the show she crashes to the ground as she is wracked in pain. She is soon rescued by two Pegasus and is taken too the dying King Wind Crasher, where she is told that not only is she going to become Queen, but that she was not born a Pegasus, but an Alicorn.

(A complete rewrite of Queen of Cloudsdale)

Chapters (2)
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Comments ( 11 )

PLEASE UPDATE! :pinkiehappy: I would give this a thumbs up but it won't let me!:fluttershysad:

we hate sent letters

How does one "hate send" a letter to someone.

Way Better Than Before. :pinkiehappy:

Oh F@#%ING S%@T Snap.
20% Awesome.

Well, after reading the first chapter I was convinced that one of us doesn't speak English. I of course suspected that it was me since I'm not a native speaker. After reading the second one though... I'm no longer so sure about that sentiment.

Why are you stopping if you pardon me? Alicorns were rare but amazing type of ponies. If you have spare time to update let me know.

Better than the other one, but still a bit rushed, and full of comma splices, incomplete sentences, random capitalizations, and a couple odd words that are either typos or made up. Edit, edit, put on a shelf for a month, and edit again (it helps to read through it after a time lapse in order to come back to it with fresh eyes).

I look forward to this being continued.

You should continue the story. It’s really good.

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