Serenading The Fading Light

by Flash Notion

Show Me

I wasn't sure how to feel.

Sonata loved me. I was almost certain of it. Nothing else explained what I'd sensed through my geode.

It wasn't the attraction from another female that was holding me back. Most of Equestria's mares were either fully homosexual or else bi. And at some point or another, most of the Rainbooms had made a pass at me. Heck, Rarity outright offered- that's beside the point.

But, I just wasn't sure how I felt about Sonata. I mean... I basically rescued her. Pulled her up. I was like her knight in shining armor or something. But I'd always felt like we were just friends.

Right?

Or had it become something more?

We were living together all along; that didn't help any. I'd always been as nice to her as possible. I'd always liked her jokes. I'd helped her however I could.

Was that love?

What was the difference between love and friendship?

Dear Princess Twilight...

No, I couldn't do that. She'd basically done for me what I'd done for Sonata. She might think I loved her!

It was Wednesday we got back. Wednesday afternoon. I went into work, poured everything into fixing as many cars as I could. I came home, stained and stinking of oil.

The first thing I saw was the mess we'd left in the living room.

I went straight upstairs and changed clothes, then curled up on my bed.

Thursday.

Another day of work, another day of distraction.

I came home, no closer to figuring it out. But not tired enough to sleep, either.

I cleaned up the mess, putting away towels and hot water bottles and cold packs. I folded up all the blankets and closed the door to Sonata's room. I threw out the bag from The Tasty Treat, forgotten in the chaos.

And then sat in the chair, nothing to do.

I could think.

Nope.

I got back up and emptied out the refrigerator. Time to clean.

When the fridge was done, I moved on to the freezer. And then the cupboards. Anything to avoid the issue.

Friday.

I wasn't supposed to work originally, but because I'd taken off both Monday and Tuesday, Spark Plugs let me come in. I spent my day fine tuning a pickup with a rusted cam lobe. The owner had let it slide for a bit too long.

But eventually, Spark Plugs kicked me out.

I trudged back to the apartment.

Inside, I turned on the TV. Nothing but old Power Ponies reruns on that channel. A Daring Do movie, but I'd seen it. The news. A strong storm coming in off the coast.

My mind immediately wondered how Sonata would deal with the rain in the ocean. How deep would she have to swim to avoid it? Or would it be like an amusement park ride for her, up on the surface?

I switched the TV off.

I made my bed, a rare thing. I straightened my desk and bedside table.

I reorganized the bathroom, then I went ahead and put some food on the back step for the alley cats.

After that, I started walking.

I didn't think. I just let my feet carry me. Soon, I was in a different alley.

A familiar one.

This was where I'd met Sonata.

She'd been living here. Begging change, stealing food. Sleeping under whatever shelter she could find.

I wish I'd left her there, the irrational part of me thought. Then my regular self kicked in. No. I did the right thing.

Look where it's gotten you.

I shuddered.

Nope. Not here.

I walked home again.

Back in the empty loft.

Had it always been so big?

I remembered my place feeling a lot cozier, in the past. More inviting. Now it seemed cold.

What is wrong with me? I shivered.

I sat down against the wall, determined to figure this out.

Sonata loved me. My geode had revealed her true feelings. Honestly though, I should've seen it all along. Heck, I bet Applejack saw it. That hadn't been a “I'm joking” wink, that was a “our little secret” wink! She thought I loved Sonata!

Wait... did I?

I had no idea.

I gripped my shoulders and bowed my head, trying to concentrate. Against my chest, a spot began to warm.

My geode.

I scrabbled at the jewel and pulled it off, holding it up by the chain. This stupid thing. Why did it have to show me that? Why couldn't I have stayed ignorant? Why did it have to show me how Sonata really felt?

Hang on...

I hesitated. It was crazy. I'd never used my geode like that before. I didn't even know if it would work.

I should try it anyway. What have I got to lose?

Well, there was my denial...

I have to visit her tomorrow. I promised!

Right. Right right right.

I let out my breath and took another deep one.

I had to try.

I took the geode and put it back around my neck. I held it with one hand. With the other, I reached up... and took hold of my own wrist.

---

I was so excited- music lessons! Perfect for Sonata. I couldn't wait to get home and show her the flier, and the certificate. I couldn't wait to see her smile.

Shift.

We walked out of The Tasty Treat, and Sonata was bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet. She'd aced it, perfectly charming Coriander Cumin and his daughter Saffron. The two had hired her on the spot. I was relieved that she hadn't let me down- and also just plain happy that she was so happy. It was the first real smile I'd seen since she got back.

Shift.

Sonata and I sat in the movie theater, 3-D glasses over our faces. The popcorn was stale, the sodas warm. The effects were cheesy, the seat was uncomfortable, and I'd already seen this movie. But it was fine. I was having fun anyway, laughing with Sonata.

Shift.

Earlier- I was sitting at the counter, taping away at my keyboard. The door to the loft opened- Sonata! She was back! I jumped up and ran over and gave her a hug. I was so glad she was okay. I was glad she'd come home.

Shift.

Learning that Sonata lied to me. My confusion on Miss Coloratura's face. Something... jagged. Biting.

Shift.

Feeling betrayed. Feeling like I lost something- someone. Like my life was slipping away. Putting on a brave face for Coriander, making a promise I didn't know I could keep.

Shift.

Relief- Sonata wanted to stay.

Shift.

Terror- Sonata was dying!

Shift.

Determination. Sonata would live. I would see to it.

Shift.

Lonely. I was in my apartment, but I wasn't home. I was alone. I missed her- I missed Sonata.

---

I opened my eyes.

I'd fallen asleep. After using the geode, I fell asleep. It was Saturday morning, judging by the sunlight.

Oh.

Well.

I winced. And then I remembered.

Sonata. It was all about Sonata.

Did I? Did I really love her?

Yes. Sudden. Powerful.

Are you sure? I asked myself. There was no reply, not like I was talking to someone else. But I suddenly felt... firm. Like I was standing on solid ground.

I missed her. Nothing felt the same without her. The past week alone, it felt like I'd barely lived it. Every one of the memories the geode showed me felt ten times more real.

I needed her.

I needed Sonata in my life. More than any of the Rainbooms. I could make new friends. They wouldn't be exactly the same, but life could go on without them. But without Sonata...

I couldn't imagine living without her.

I love her.

Comments

[Omaewamoushindeiru]

Determination. Sonata would live. I would see to it.

*Seeing that Sonata will live fills you with DETERMINATION.

[PresentPerfect]

You could cut this angst with a knife. <.< I rue that the contest necessitated shipping, because it definitely seems like things are dragging out.

[Brony1337]

That was a really stupid move if you want to know what your true feelings are, at least if you don´t know how exactly the magic works.
Think about it for a moment. It is completely possible that the magic lets you relive your memory, but when that memory gets refreshed the “new” feelings don´t replace the old ones. Instead they could be felt as truly new feelings and would be stronger, since the old ones are still there. This would get worse if you do it multiple times or on multiple memorys with the same feelings towards an specific object or person.
Sooo... Love spell?