• Member Since 16th May, 2013
  • offline last seen 48 minutes ago

PaulAsaran


Technical Writer from the U.S.A.'s Deep South. Writes horsewords and reviews. New reviews posted every Thursday! Writing Motto: "Go Big or Go Home!"

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Sunset is a one-girl wrecking ball when it comes to romance. She's already been through three of her friends, and she'll not to let her pony needs get ahead of her again. But her eye's already roaming, and Applejack has invited her to spend a day on the farm. Alone. For some secret purpose.

It's okay. All Sunset has to do is keep reminding herself that it's not what she wants. Everything's fine.

She won't make the same mistake again.


Set between Equestria Girls and Rainbow Rocks.

When I react poorly to shipfics, it's often because I forget there are two ways to approach romance; this is a story that uses the adult approach without forgetting what makes young love so exciting in the first place. Really excellent stuff. — PresentPerfect

Honorable Mention in Oroboro's Sunset Shipping Contest: Changing Seasons!

Cover art belongs to MagneticSkye. Tried to get permission, but it appears the artist disappeared around a year ago. If she complains, I'll change it.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 25 )

Celestia help me that was amazing. I viscerally felt everything sunset did, mostly because I am in that exact same situation. That and you description work is amazing.

Damn, this was a great look inside Sunset's head-space. Pretty relatable feelings, too- god rest Sunset's poor gay soul.

The tags fit and the inclusion of AJ's accent helped the story. I enjoyed Applejack's excellent characterization and the mental commentary of Sunset, as well as the unrequited romances in the past.

Just as Applejack promised, the pie was delicious.

*wink* *wink* *nudge* *nudge*

Hey P.A. This was fun. Take it from your characters, though. Even if the theme of the story is that "ships take work", the reward in the end is that Romance tag. So, thank you for that.
Maybe I missed something, but is this your first EqG story?

8397513

Maybe I missed something, but is this your first EqG story?

:rainbowhuh:
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:rainbowhuh:
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..

.

Y'know, I think it is. Huh.

Comment posted by kalash93 deleted Sep 25th, 2017

I really enjoyed this story. It sort of gave us the best of both worlds: Sunset was eager and lusting after Applejack, while AJ was restrained and sensible. The theme, that it takes work to be good at being in a relationship, is also something that is only rarely explored in the romance stories on this site.

I think the thing that sets this story apart is that it managed to explore that theme in such a short story. I think that exploring the failed relationships through flashbacks might have been partially motivated by the wordcount limits of the contest, but even so, it served the story well. By keeping the entirety of the story rooted in the present, Sunset's worries about the past were kept front and center. I don't think that the emotional impact would've been as strong if we were to have read through all of the previous relationships before this one in a linear manner.

Also, I'm not normally a fan of AJ, but dang, this AJ has some serious game. So adorable!

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Umm, is this going to the right comment? It keeps sending me to a different story's review.

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Glad to see such a thorough analysis! This is one of those stories where I knew exactly what I wanted to do as soon as it was conceived, and it's so rare that one of those can go so well. Much thanks!

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Auch. Pardon my error. This story shall get its own proper review soon.

8446711
No problem. These things happen, I should know.

I enjoyed this story a lot. I really liked the slow buildup, and the reveal at the end that AJ knew Sunset was into her. I also think you've struck a good balance on Sunset trying to keep a handle on her crush. That kind of thing can be obnoxious when overdone, but you didn't push it too far, just enough to still be endearing.

On the subject of AJ's speech, I didn't really pay attention to it, or notice that you were switching back and forth, which you should take as a positive sign.

Why do you think the story isn't about romance? I think it would be silly, even misleading not to have that tag there. Sunset is clearly romantically interested in AJ, no matter how much she tries to hold herself back, and it turns out AJ is receptive to the idea. Maybe you have a very different understanding of what the romance tag stands for / should stand for than some of us?

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Glad you liked it! to be honest, the 'balance of attraction' never crossed my mind as I wrote this. Good to know I got it right without factoring it in. As to the romance, I had it in my head that this was less a story about romance and more a story about self control and Sunset's past. At this point I've more or less come to agree with everyone that, yeah, this is an all-around romance. I should probably edit my A/N to reflect that.

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Glad you liked it! to be honest, the 'balance of attraction' never crossed my mind as I wrote this. Good to know I got it right without factoring it in.

It's something I'm struggling with a little in my own writing. Honestly, I think of Sunset as more of a go-getter and think that absent three already failed relationships with other members of the Humane 6, I should probably portray her as less hesitant than she is shown here.

One of the few things that really impressed me about Legend of Everfree is Sunset's portrayal. She really has her shit together at this point, and I can't think of anyone better to give a power like her empathic reading to, which demands such a high degree of responsibility and ethical awareness. It's too bad her characterization came at the expense of several of the others. I swear, every time Rarity opens her mouth in that movie, it's about her fashion show. She especially stood out as getting shafted with the kind of one-dimensional portrayal we've always praised the show for not saddling everyone's favorite fashion horse with.

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Well, Sunset's level of aggression would depend upon timing. If it's right after Equestria Girls, then I don't think she'd be aggressive at all thanks to her new role as the 'friendship student'. But after Rainbow Rocks and definitely after Friendship Games, she'd have her mojo back and would certainly be hot to trot should she have her eye on a particular someone. at least, that's how I'd interpret things.

I hven't actually seen Legend of the Everfree. I aim to do so once I finish going through my complete rewatch of every MLP episode and movie I've already seen (currently on Season 5 episode What About Discord?).

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

Alas, poor Sunset: forever gay pone. : V

Wow, this was awesome. Very sensual and emotionally laden throughout the build-up; Sunset's regrets and struggles with self-control form a great counterpoint to the mundane activities Applejack has them doing. The brief hints about the previous seasons set up another ominous note of... anticipation, I suppose: curiosity mixed with fear.

I love how Applejack wanted to both let Sunset know her interest was reciprocated, but also (and I get the impression even more importantly) teach Sunset an important lesson to get her past her spiral of self-doubt. AJ comes across so very well in this story.

It's not often that a fanfic will give me chills, but this one did, when AJ mentioned "the theme" the second time and I realised what you and she were saying. Superb work.

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Wow, people are still reading this thing? :rainbowderp:

Many thanks for the praise! I was rather proud of this one when it first released.

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What do you mean, "still"? It's less than a year old! I've been enjoying and commenting on fics five times as old as this :)
I'm new to fimfic and working my way through various Equestria Girls recommendations, so naturally I'm focusing on things that Oroboro links. An Honorable Mention in an Oroboro contest is definitely enough to make me check something out, and I'm very glad I did!

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A year might not seem like much to you, but it feels like an eternity to me. Mostly because of how many words I've written since then.

...huh. I've found a topic for today's blog.

If you're looking for more recommendations, you could always skim my Why Haven't You Read These Yet? and Pretty Good bookshelves, or peruse my review blogs. They've amassed quite a large number of stories over the years. Bound to be something in there you'd like. :raritywink:

Somehow forgot to add this to its proper shelf. Wondered why I couldn’t find it when I read the sequel. :twilightsheepish:

This was a delightful read and I’m glad I found it.

Ok I figure out what happened with Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash but what happened Rarity

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The memory came fresh to her mind, standing at the door to the boutique, crying and waiting for the door to open. Waiting for Rarity to come out and admit to having made a mistake, to wanting her back. She had to have been standing there for over an hour. If she closed her eyes, she could still identify all the little cracks and irregularities of the wood in that door.

This says everything.

You're a talented wordsmith... and this was a delightful read.
I'm not entirely sure if I agree with AJ. I want to. But my own experiences, or rather issues, keep me from believing this to be a real possibility. I wish the world would work like that. It's an ideal. But we don't live in an ideal world, sadly, and no matter how much work we invest in it - it'll never be ideal. That shouldn't keep you from trying, obviously, but just like Sunset was about to deny herself these feelings... at some point, I feel, exhaustion sets in. And depending on who you are and how you are, it stays. Possibly forever.
But that makes stories like this one, wholesome and warm, all the more valuable.
So thank you for that!

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