• Member Since 19th Dec, 2013
  • offline last seen Jul 19th, 2022

Snickers


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T

A run-in with a teenage magician was not on Aria's to-do list, but it seems that "fate" has other plans. Now she just has to find a way to get this annoying girl off her back.

... but that becomes kinda hard when she's not sure if she even wants that.

And Trixie is determined to befriend the grumpy used-to-be siren.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 5 )

I enjoyed reading it, I like the way you make the characters interact with each others. Pretty detailed and pleasureful to read. Would love to read more, keep it up!

I don’t think I’ve ever come across this ship before :rainbowhuh: And I like the way you established something they have in common right away. It’s such a small thing, both of them liking stars, but sometimes that’s all you need.

Really hope you keep going with this. I’m quite curious to see what else you’ve got in store :twilightsmile:

I'm really liking this so far. A new ship is always good, and Aria-centric stories in particular are sorely needed. I think you've done a great job characterising her, too - not just a tsundere copy, but not a violent psychopath either. She's just grumpy and doesn't like people/the world :twilightsmile:

As ever, I am interested/nervous to see how you characterise the other two sirens, when they show up.

For a first story, there's remarkably little criticism I could offer. I noticed you said hate instead of hat at one point, but that's so small a thing it's hardly worth mentioning :twilightsheepish: It's possible perhaps that Trixie's feelings are too strong to start off with, if she cares about Aria's opinion because she secretly likes Aria, but then Aria's take on it was that Trixie cares too much about what anyone thinks, which I think is a much better explanation :twilightsmile:

Also, it was really nice to see Trixie's magic show being appreciated. So often it's looked down on because she's more of an antagonist; having the neighbourhood kids enjoy it and give her money was lovely :pinkiehappy:

Do you mind if I add this to the Uncommon Dazzling Ships group?

Not a bad start, especially for a first fic. You've got decent characterization here and are writing something rarely seen. You just don't have much of a hook in this first chapter, other than the premise.

Certainly fun enough so far, and I'd rather enjoy seeing something more come of it. Don't be afraid if it takes you forever to come up with a second chapter, I can tell you outright that there are not going to be any complaints from me about waiting too long; I'd rather wait a couple of months for something good than have someone churn out mediocrity once a week, y'know?

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