• Member Since 23rd Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen Nov 24th, 2021


Just a guy who likes to write. I let my stories go where they please. I'm just their instrument of creation.


Sunset Shimmer and Starlight Glimmer. Two ponies who are all too familiar with regret. Though they have just met, both can see a little of themselves in the other. After helping her friends stop the misguided rampage of Juniper Montage, Starlight is faced with another problem. Completely by accident, she uncovers Sunset's unrequited wish. To reunite with Princess Celestia.

With Sunset too enveloped in regret to undertake the journey alone, Starlight agrees to help. Pitted against their own doubts, will they be able to pull through or will Sunset's greatest wish go unanswered?

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 13 )

I've read this first chapter and this story looks really interesting I will be keeping an eye on this story as it gets further developed. :twilightsmile:

8387577 Hehe, thanks. Like I said, 1 or 2 days is about all I'll need so you hopefully shouldn't be waiting too long. Thanks for the comment. Good luck on your own story. I'm sorry you've been having issues with it but keep at it. Sometimes better ideas come in the face of adversity. Or, something like that... Anyway! Have a nice day!

Thank you, I look forward to reading your comments on it. Hope you have a nice day as well. :twilightsmile:

I love this.
Absolutely adorable, and the little touch with "Of course Celestia handled it" was perfect.

Thank you so much for writing: this is my favorite Celestia&Sunset reunion, or at least one of :)

8393373 Hehe. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Even though writing it dragged me through Tartarus and back I had a lot of fun writing it. I liked that little moment too. It felt like something Celestia would do. Thanks for the comment. Have a nice day!

You portrayed the characters so well. The dynamics between Starlight and Sunset, I have no words. I Love this story. I love the reunion you gave Sunset and Celestia. It was so emotional, I have tears in my eyes. I bookmarked your story that how much I love it. I have never done that before.

Thanks for the comment. That really means a lot. I put a lot of work into this and I'm glad people enjoyed it. Have a nice day!

So I like to write Sunset a lot, and I've got my own "redemption" story of hers, and everything in this story is what I was hoping to achieve with mine but simply could not. The way you wrote Sunset and Starlight, the way you had Celestia reunite, and even the small talk in the human world was so great.

This was really, really awesome.

Heh, thanks for the praise. This was a really hard one to write. I was back and forth with it for ages. I'm glad people are liking it as much as they do. Thanks for the comment. Have a nice day.

but I was still scared, Scared that I would hurt him now


Despite the other girls numerous mumbled protests


Oh man, this might be the Starlight and Sunset story I've been looking for ever since Mirror Magic. Hopefully the next two chapters can match this one.

My hopes have gotten higher.

once again she helpless against the raging torrent that followed.

You accidentally a word.

Yes. This is the Sunset and Starlight story I've been looking for. This was wonderful. There were a bunch of grammatical mistakes, but I don't care. This is what I've been looking for. The one that gives me hope there are more. The one I remember fondly after reading a couple junky ones even if it's your fault I took a chance on the junky ones.

“There's still a lot of the human world I've got to show you. If you're up for it that is.”


Hiya there, EclipseSight!

I have some thoughts.

We’ll start with the positives. Overall, the story is fabulous. I loved the inner workings of both Sunset’s and Starlight’s minds. Your flowery prose and long paragraphs work well within context of this story. To both unicorns, time is moving at an unbearably slow pace, both of them panicked and deeply lost in thought. In any other story, the narration and paragraph would look out of place. But in this context, it’s perfect.

The Sun Sets Before Starlight is missing the [Drama] tag, isn’t it? This is very obviously much a drama. A great one, mind you. So, long story short, lovely work. Here’s an upvote and a bookshelf add!

And now for some issues.

The story suffers from two main problems: section breaks and the infamous Lavender Unicorn Syndrome. You frequently referred to Starlight as ‘the lilac colored girl’, Sunset as the ‘fiery haired girl’ or the ‘golden unicorn’, and this chapter, Celestia as the ‘the solar princess’. This wouldn’t be a problem if it was sparse, but it’s not. The LUS is pretty jarring and distracting. If a character has a name, it’s best to refer to it as often as possible.

Now I mentioned something about section breaks. When the perspective or the scene changes, this needs to be made clear. Take this extract, for instance:

Dumbfounded, Starlight stared at the two words, almost losing her grip on the pen. “Seriously?” she snorted, readjusting her hold and scribbling down her annoyance.

Twilight? That's about as helpful as a broken horn! What's going on?

Back at the castle of friendship, Twilight picked up her large, snowy white swan feather quill. Disbelief was still etched across her face. Her student had managed to pull off in a day what she had been subtly, and at times not so subtly, been trying for months. It had stumped her, being the catalyst for more than one sleepless night. Yet, after only a day, Starlight had managed to convince Sunset to finally put the past behind her. Wiping the solitary tear of pride that had started to slide down her cheek, she drafted a reply. Though not before chuckling at the obvious irritation radiating from Starlight's message.

There should a section break right before the “Back at the castle of friendship” line, and another one when the perspective changes to Starlight’s.

Here’s another one.

It helped, only marginally but it helped. Exhaling, Starlight nodded and quietly left the room. When the door shut behind her, Twilight turned to the portal. “I think I should get a start on making any return trips a lot easier from now on,” Humming a merry tune, she got to work.

The only train cart that had enough space for two was still relatively crowded, forcing them to sit uncomfortably close together. Sunset spent the entire journey staring at the floor, making herself as small as possible. Starlight took the window seat, letting dread fill her as she watched Canterlot draw ever nearer. It was a stupid thing to do but her eyes were glued to the impending doom. Even with Twilight's bolstering confidence, by the time they stepped onto the platform she thought her legs would fail her. “Well...we're here,” she said uselessly, unable to bear the heavy silence any longer.

There is obvious scene change from Twilight in her castle to Starlight and Sunset in the train. But there needs to be some way to distinguish it.

All of that being said, I loved this story. It’s going into my ’Favorite Drama’ bookshelf. You keep writing, Eclipse!

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