It's The End Of The World As We Know It

by Samey90

4. Rats

A big, brown rat picked up a breadcrumb and looked at Indigo, who shuddered, when another rat, white with red eyes, climbed on her shoulders. She tried to shake it off, but the creature hardly cared about her efforts, running on the top of her head.

“What have I gotten myself into?” she muttered.

It all looked so well. She called Bulk one day after a training and, after a lengthy conversation, she agreed to visit his friends with him. Little did she know that among his friends there was a guy with green dreadlocks who had a poster of something called Ska-P in his room, right next to a graffiti depicting the globe. Several rats walked around the room freely, though a large cage standing in the corner, indicated that they were, indeed, pets. Interestingly, he also had a cat, who, however, wasn’t interested in the rodents at all, preferring to sleep on the conga drums standing in the corner.

According to Bulk, the host of the whole place was called Sandalwood. He was currently sitting on a chair, watching Indigo’s struggle with the rats.

“So, you’re Bulk’s new friend, right?” Sandalwood asked. “Interesting. Very interesting.”

Indigo just wanted to ask what was interesting, but the rat just jumped off her head and ran across the carpet. She watched it until it climbed on the chest of drawers and disappeared in one of them.

“Don’t worry,” Bulk said. “He’s never seen a Crystal Prep girl that close before.”

“I did,” Sandalwood replied. “I’ve never seen a Crystal Prep girl with a rat on her head, though.”

“Yeah…” Indigo muttered. “Do they have any names?”

Sandalwood raised his hand. “Cheech, Chong, Julian, Ricky, and Bubbles,” he said.

“Ah, of course.” Indigo chuckled, turning to Bulk and Sandalwood. “So, what are we gonna do?”

Sandalwood scratched his dreadlocks and looked at Bulk. “Well, I have Drawn Together on DVD, but we wouldn’t want to scare the uptown girl.”

“Should I burp so he stops thinking I’m a snob?” Indigo asked.

“Fat chance,” Bulk replied. “He thinks everyone in Crystal Prep is a filthy capitalist. You know, we gathered in his house because his parents chained themselves to the trees in the jungle.”

Indigo shrugged, staring at another rat standing on its hind legs and sniffing the air. “Maybe we’ll play Twister, or something?”

“It’s not a girls’ night,” Sandalwood replied. “Also, you really don’t want to play Twister with Bulk. If you really like your ribs, that is.”

Indigo nodded, smiling at her imagination. She was interrupted when someone knocked on the door.

“Come in!” Sandalwood yelled. They heard the click of the door opening and another guy entered the room. He had blue hair and wore a leather jacket which he put on the couch before taking a seat next to it.

“Hello, Flash,” Bulk said. “This is my friend, Indigo.”

“Hi.” Flash smiled at Indigo. “You kinda look familiar… Are you that girl from Crystal Prep?”

Indigo raised her eyebrows. “Which one?”

“Umm…” Flash scratched his head. “The one who was a friend of that girl Twilight knew… You know, that one.”

“Dude, we have, like, no idea what are you talking about,” Sandalwood muttered. “But yeah, I’d like to hear the whole story.” He shrugged. “Seems to be hormones raging this summer, since I also saw Twilight going out with Timber…”

“Who?” Indigo asked.

“Umm…” Bulk looked around. “What hormones? We just talked to each other two or three times…”

“Four,” Indigo muttered.

“Four?” Bulk furrowed his eyebrows. “Well, you were almost asleep once, so I’m not sure if that counts.”

“That definitely counts,” Indigo replied. “That was after I gave you my phone number.”

Flash and Sandalwood looked at each other. “See? Already like an old married couple.” Sandalwood chuckled.

Indigo blushed, glaring daggers at Sandalwood. “Shut up,” she muttered. “Or rather, tell me about this Timber guy you’ve mentioned. Twilight and a guy? I mean, a real dude?”

“Totally,” Sandalwood replied. “Tall, slim, carries an axe, can do funny stuff with pasta and those abs…”

“I have good abs too,” Bulk muttered.

Sandalwood ignored that. “Also, his sister turned into a demon, but you already know that.”

“I fear to imagine their children…” Indigo chuckled. “Where have you seen them?”

“In the mall,” Sandalwood replied. “Which reminds me: some crazy bitch turned into a demon in the mall recently. I even took a photo because I was like, ‘hey, she looks kinda like my little cousin Juniper’. And guess what?” He smirked. “That was my cousin Juniper. She changed a bit since I was eleven and she was thirteen, and we hid in one of those helicopters from Apocalypse Now and–”

“What the hell…” Indigo muttered.

“I didn’t quite reach the village, but I hit the nearby jungle, if you know what I mean,” Sandalwood said. “Best five seconds of my life.”

“Enough!” Flash exclaimed. “Bulk brought a girl here and it already turned into a gossip-slash-nauseating stories society…”

“If I wasn’t here, you’d already start comparing your abs,” Indigo muttered and looked at Sandalwood. “Or helicopters. Also, since you all have no idea what to do except watching rats, we can always judge other people.”

“What if we went bowling?” Bulk asked. He shrugged when everyone looked at him. “I mean, it’s better to judge other people when there are more of them.”

“He does have a point,” Indigo said. “Also, I haven’t been in the bowling alley since that one time when Sour Sweet took a ball and–”

“We can take my car.” Sandalwood stood up. Indigo was pretty sure one of the rats hid in his hair. “It works.”

“Is that unusual?” Indigo asked. “Most of cars work.”

“It’s not a car, it’s a glorified pile of rust and duct tape,” Flash muttered.

“Don’t mind him, he’s salty because Twilights of the whole multiverse don’t want to be with him.” Sandalwood chuckled. “C’mon, dude. Let’s go bowling.”

---

The car standing in Sandalwood’s garage turned out to be a Volkswagen Transporter from the late fifties. It’s original colour was unknown; currently, it was consisting mostly of rust with some remains of flamboyant paintjob from the sixties here and there, giving it an appearance of a rat rod. The interior consisted of a couple of bomber seats and was filled with some herbal smell.

“What’s that?” Indigo sat in one of the seats and sniffed the air.

“Don’t mind it,” Sandalwood muttered. “We can’t get rid of this smell since my grandparents smoked weed in here during the Woodstock Festival.”

“Fighting fire with fire doesn’t exactly help,” Bulk muttered, trying to fit in the small seat. Sandalwood started the engine which woke up with a terrible screech. Soon it started to work more evenly and they left the garage. Indigo noticed that there was a small hole in the floor, so she spent most of the way to the bowling alley watching the road under them.

Soon, they parked in front of the bowling alley. It was filled with people; it was one of the last weekends before the school year and many teenagers wanted to get their bowling fix before having to come back to learning.

“Hi, Apple Bloom,” Flash said to a red-haired girl standing by the door. She didn’t notice him, completely focused on her phone.

“Babs?” she asked. “It’s your cousin Apple Bloom. Let’s go–”

Indigo didn’t hear the rest since she bumped into some lanky man with a goatee, wearing a purple outfit. He gave her a heavy glare, but quickly disappeared in the crowd when he saw Bulk.

They walked into the bowling alley, stopping by the row of pool tables and the bar, swarmed by people talking, drinking milkshakes, or just playing pool. The lanes were nearby, but Flash looked around, his expression faltering.

“What’s going on?” Indigo asked.

“Look who’s back…” Flash muttered.

“Mr. Letrotski?” Bulk looked at the three men sitting at the table by the wall.

“Not here, there.” Flash pointed at one of the lanes. Indigo saw a tall boy wearing a bright orange blazer and a green beanie. He was surrounded by a couple of girls; they were laughing loudly at something.

“Yeah.” Bulk groaned. “Norman.”

“Who’s he?” Indigo asked, watching as one of the girls—short one with green skin and purple hair tied in two ponytails—threw a bowling ball down the lane. It fell into the channel halfway through, prompting another burst of laughter from the group.

“Well, Flash, you were, like, a bit imprecise,” Sandalwood muttered. “It’s Norman, Cloudy Kicks, Starlight, Paisley, and Rose Heart.” He smirked. “Or as I call them, Ms. Norman number one, three, seven, and twenty one.”

“Twenty one?” Indigo chuckled. “Blackjack.”

“Mhm.” Sandalwood looked at the very tall, skinny girl with blue hair, wearing the blue outfit of the staff, who walked past the group. Norman turned his head towards her and nodded. “Ms. Norman number twenty seven. Though she doesn’t know about it yet.”

“How come they didn’t kill him yet?” Indigo asked.

Bulk shrugged. “Dunno, they just swarm around him, somehow. And he’s the best at bowling.”

“Yeah, and there are no free lanes anyway,” Flash muttered.

“The best at bowling, you say…” Indigo smirked. “Let’s see.” She walked towards the group of girls, currently gathered around the guy.

“One’s fun to hit with a sledgehammer and the other is a watermelon!” The blonde girl known as Cloudy Kicks rested herself against the couch and laughed.

Indigo cleared her throat. “Hello, ladies!” She focused her eyes on Norman. “And you.” She pushed the red-haired girl away and sat on the small table standing in front of the couch. “As you can see there are no free lanes and me and my friends wanted to play.” She pointed at Bulk, Flash, and Sandalwood who were walking towards them slowly, trying to look as if they didn’t know her.

“So?” Norman asked.

“So, I figured out since you guys are busy telling corny jokes, maybe you could let us roll?” Indigo winked, crossing her legs.

Norman’s gaze moved from her to Bulk, Flash, and Sandalwood. “Why do you bother with those losers? You can stay with us, you know.”

Indigo’s eyes narrowed. “I’d rather not be Ms. Norman number sixteen, or something.”

“Twenty seven,” Sandalwood muttered.

“Yeah, sure.” Indigo chuckled. “I wonder if his bowling skills are as exaggerated as this number. I guess it’s the same kind of urban legend as The Licked Hand or ponies from another dimension...”

Norman blushed. “We can always check that.” He walked to the lane and grabbed a bowling ball. He smirked and threw it down the lane, knocking over all the ten pins.

“Your turn,” he said.

Indigo nodded and walked to the lane. She grabbed a bowling ball, weighing it in her hand. “Am I holding it right?” she asked, her hands trembling slightly. She walked towards the lane and threw the ball. “Whoops…” she muttered.

The ball rolled down the lane, heading towards the channel. However, somewhere halfway through it turned, hitting between the first and third pin, knocking them all down.

“Not bad,” Norman muttered, approaching Indigo. “But I guess that still makes a draw…”

Indigo froze, feeling his hand on her butt.

---

The girl from the staff had long, blue hair and was so tall that Indigo had to raise her head to see anything above her chest, adorned with a tag saying “Allie Way”. Currently, she was staring down at Indigo, as well as the group of girls, swarmed around somebody lying on the floor.

“So, what exactly happened?” she asked.

Indigo shrugged. “I think my friend knocked himself out with a bowling ball. Dunno, this never happened to him before.”

“Yeah,” Sandalwood muttered. “This is, like, what happens when you accidentally hit yourself in the nuts and then raise your hands to your face while still holding the ball, right guys?” He turned to Flash and Bulk, who nodded quickly.

“He was always kinda clumsy…” Bulk said.

“That’s not what happened!” a pale girl Sandalwood had introduced as Paisley exclaimed.

“Well, that’s strange,” Allie said. “Because that’s what I saw happening. Also, shouldn’t you take him to the doctor or something?”

After the girls dragged Norman outside, Allie turned towards Indigo, Bulk, Flash, and Sandalwood.

“You can play on the house today,” she said. “But if I see any of you hitting people with bowling balls again, I won’t let you in again.”

“Yeah,” Indigo muttered. “By the way, Sour Sweet asked if you’re still angry at her.”

“She’s still on our ‘Don’t Let In’ list, if that’s what you mean,” Allie replied. “Have fun.”

“Thanks.” Indigo turned towards her companions. “What are you waiting for? Let’s play!”

---

Lemon Zest shuddered, looking at the envelope lying on the seat next to her and the posters on the walls in the waiting room. She knew them by heart; they mostly informed about benefits of vaccines against flu or that smoking was bad. She sighed, staring at the dull green walls, when she heard the sound of her ringtone. She picked it up.

“Indigo?” She smiled. “What’s up?”

“Cool,” Indigo replied. “We went bowling with Bulk and his friends.”

Lemon relaxed, stretching her legs. “How was it?”

“I won. I also beat up some guy, and then we had chicken. Well, except Sandalwood, because he thinks meat is murder. You know, that kinda guy who drives a rusty van and keeps pet rats in his hair.”

Lemon chuckled. “I think I met him. And what happened then?”

“Sandalwood drove us to my house, Bulk walked to the door with me and–”

“And what?” Lemon nearly fell off her seat.

“Nothing,” Indigo replied. “I said goodbye and went home.”

Lemon scratched her hair. “So, let me get this straight: you went out with two guys–”

“Three.”

“Nevermind.” Lemon rested her forehead against her hand. “You went bowling, you punched someone, you ate chicken… Did you burp?”

“Umm… What does it have to do with anything?” Indigo asked. “Maybe a little. Bulk can burp louder.”

Lemon furrowed her eyebrows. “What did you talk about?”

“Movies, sports, Sandalwood not eating chicken…” Indigo paused. “Where are you going with that?”

“That’s bad,” Lemon muttered. “That’s so, so bad…”

“Why is it bad?” Indigo’s voice faltered.

Lemon groaned. “How are you two going to date if he now considers you one of the guys?”

For a while, all she could hear was choking, which soon changed into a fit of coughing. After a minute, Indigo eventually spat out, “What? Lemon Zest, did those blood checks you were gonna have show that you have lemon ice cream instead of brain? We’re not dating.”

“But you may!” Lemon exclaimed. “And I haven’t opened the results yet. But don’t worry, come to me and Sunny, we’ll work on you.”

“With a pair of pliers and a blowtorch?”

“Pliers, yes. But blowtorch?” Lemon shrugged. “Only in extreme cases.”

Indigo sighed. “That was a joke. You’d better open that damn envelope and don’t worry about me. See you later.”

“Later.” Lemon put the phone down and grabbed the envelope. Her muscles tensed as she slowly opened it.

Comments

[22nd century Man]

Trailer park boys ref, nice