Herp Derp

by Unwhole Hole

Chapter 2: Glue Trap

The sight was not what Rainbow Dash had expected. She had not really known what to expect, because she never really bothered to ask what Twilight did in her free time. She had always assumed that Twilight did book-based things, like reading or shelving or inspecting bindings.

Instead, she found herself looking at a large piece of paper that had been slathered in rubber cement. In the center, a muffin had been placed as bait. This had proven irresistible to the gray pony that was now completely entrapped by the glue, her hoof stuck to the paper inches away from her prize and her tongue still reaching for it as she sat immobile but still fixated on the high-fiber baked good.

“Um, Twilight? This isn’t ethical.”

“What? Oh, no, it is. The IRB approved it.”

“You have an IRB?”

“Yes. Me and Starlight.” Twilight looked to Rainbow Dash. “I’m surprised you know what an institutional review board is.”

“I don’t. I thought it was beer.”

“Ah.”

“Muff…in,” said Derpy, struggling against the glue paper. “So many raisins…”

Twilight looked at her. “We should probably collect her before her saliva washes away the glue. It’s not that great against water. And you’ll never guess what it’s made of.”

“Twi, I fly in a LOT of races. I know exactly what glue is made of.”

“Twilight? Rainbow Dash?” Derpy looked up at both of them simultaneously, even though they were standing on opposite sides of her. She smiled. “I’m so glad you’re here! I got stuck! Again…”

Rainbow Dash sighed. “So, how are we going to get her off of th- -”

RRRRIIIIIIIIPPPPP!!!

The sound was so great that Rainbow Dash winced purely for the sake of empathy. Twilight had forcefully removed Derpy from the paper, leaving behind a significant portion of her mane, tale, body fuzz, and feathers.

“Derpy!” cried Rainbow Dash. “Are you okay?!”

Derpy shook her head. “No. I’m in a lot of pain right now.”

“I’m not really aware of another way to do it,” said Twilight, shrugging. “Usually the glue traps just catch Spike.”

Derpy pointed downward at the glue paper. “Can I have the muffin now?”

“No,” said Twilight. “Muffins and refreshments will be provided at the end of the test.”