Stars and Diamonds
The sun shined brightly above the rolling green hills of Sweet Apple Acres, the fields of green grass swaying softly in the afternoon breeze that meandered through the trees in the orchard.
Starlight found herself enjoying the quietness that being away from the town provided, but it also brought back uncomfortable memories of the oddly quiet town she once governed herself. Although 'governed' may have been a more forgiving term than what it really had been like. Regardless, the reason she decided to visit the Apple family farm wasn't to enjoy the scenery, as much as she did. Rather, it was to find somepony she hadn't ever really talked to much.
Starlight called out across the rolling green hills when she saw her from a distance. "Apple Bloom?"
Apple Bloom turned her head and squinted. "Starlight? Comin'!" She trotted across the field and stopped in front of her. "Howdy! What brings you here? I can go get Applejack in a jiffy."
Lately, Starlight had been feeling like there was something missing in her life. Something that several of her friends had, and she didn't. On occassion, she would hear Applejack, Rainbow Dash and Rarity talk about their little sisters with each other. Sometimes what they had to say was negative, like when Sweetie Belle accidentally burned Rarity's favorite scarf. But other times, their stories and voices were filled to the brim with pride and love for their little sisters. And that was what Starlight found herself wishing she had.
The problem, of course, was that she had no siblings. But when she realized that being related didn't matter so much, as it was for Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo, a newfound hope filled her heart in that she could find a young filly to adopt as her younger sister. But first, she had to find that pony, and she wasn't exactly that great at talking to the younger crowd. But she did know somepony she could ask that might be able to help.
Starlight wasn't looking for Applejack. "Hi. Well, um, I actually came here to talk to you."
Apple Bloom cocked her head in puzzlement. "Oh, alright, whaddya need?"
"Well, I was wondering...are there any other fillies you know that might need somepony like...an older sister?"
"Like me and Applejack?"
"Yes, but...we don't have to be related, for obvious reasons."
Apple Bloom pondered for a moment. She was used to helping ponies find their cutie marks, but this was a little bit different. She was also a little bit puzzled by Starlight's request, but didn't bother to question any further. The names of her peers popped up in her thoughts one by one as she thought whether or not they might need someone like she had with Applejack, or Sweetie Belle with Rarity and Scootaloo with Rainbow Dash. But as soon as Diamond Tiara came to mind, she knew without a doubt that would be her answer.
"Diamond Tiara, maybe? I don't know a whole lot 'bout her family or anythin' but...she definitely seems like somepony that could use a big sis."
A spark of excitement shined in Starlight's eyes. "Perfect! Do you know where she lives?"
"Uhh, yeah. I'll show you."
And with that, Apple Bloom began leading Starlight to Diamond Tiara's residence. As she did, however, that feeling of excitement slowly faded and was quickly overshadowed by dread and nervousness. Thoughts raced in her mind as she tried to figure out how she would introduce herself, as well as how she would ask Diamond Tiara to spend time with her. Then, she wondered what would happen if things didn't turn out well, or if Diamond Tiara would even accept the offer at all. Starlight trotted nervously behind Apple Bloom, thinking about how much she seemed to love her big sister, and how impossible it seemed like she could ever compare.
Apple Bloom came up to the door and knocked. Diamond Tiara's mother, Spoiled Rich, rudely answered with her nose held high. "Hello? What is it you want?"
Apple Bloom shifted aside and drew attention to Starlight. "Well, you see...I..."
"You're not selling something are you?" Spoiled Rich interrupted snobbishly. "I've told everypony before - We don't buy Filly Scout cookies here, this is a gluten-free household."
"Oh, we're not trying to sell you anything," said Starlight.
"Well? What is it then? Time is money, you know. Or do you?"
Starlight groaned internally, but just then, Diamond Tiara came up behind her mother from inside the house. "Apple Bloom? What are you doing here?"
She dug a hoof into the dirt. "Oh, well um, actually Starlight Glimmer is here to see you."
Diamond Tiara looked confused at first, then shifted her gaze to Starlight, who put on an awkward smile. For the most part, Diamond Tiara's relations with Apple Bloom and her friends were essentially neutral, but they didn't talk much or spend time with each other either. She looked back at Apple Bloom, who nodded slightly, as if to acknowledge that this wasn't some sort of trick.
"Oh." Diamond Tiara replied un-enthusiastically, which was a step up from the way her mother was treating them. "What is it?"
Starlight finally got her act together after feeling like her thoughts were lost in a fog. "Well, I was wondering if maybe you might want somepony to spend time with, like a mentor?"
Diamond Tiara looked even more confused. "A mentor? For what?"
"Well, more like...a sister. You know, like Apple Bloom and Applejack, or Sweetie Belle and--"
Apple Bloom did expect Diamond Tiara to refuse such a proposition on the spot, but she was also surprised to see her become flustered and a little bit embarrassed.
"I-I don't need anypony, but um, thanks...I guess," she replied and began to go back inside.
Spoiled Rich butted herself back into the conversation. "Now wait just a minute young lady, maybe this would be good for you. You're always complaining about having nopony to spend time with when that Silver Spork or whatever is too busy."
Diamond Tiara shrunk behind her mother's legs. "Mom, stop. Please..."
She spoke up louder, as if to embarrass her even more. "What? It's not my fault you have so few friends. You should be grateful for such an opportunity!"
Some frustrated grumblings about that being untrue escaped Diamond Tiara's mouth, but Spoiled Rich continued without noticing.
"How often is it that you are graced with ponies lining up at our door, asking to be friends with you? Show some respect for once."
Starlight had to restrain herself as Spoiled Rich demonstrated the definition of hypocrisy. She started feeling bad for Diamond Tiara.
But Diamond Tiara swallowed her pride and obeyed her mother's words. "Okay," she said to Starlight with mild disdain.
"You two have fun," said Spoiled Rich as she shoved Diamond Tiara outside, "I've got work to do."
The door slammed shut and the three of them stood awkwardly in front of it until Diamond Tiara spoke up. "By work, she means going to the spa, by the way. She hasn't worked more than a couple days in her life."
Apple Bloom and Starlight weren't sure how to react, but the lingering tension of the previous conversation kept their mouths shut for several awkward seconds.
"Well, I'll see ya 'round!" said Apple Bloom as she hastily trotted away leaving a cloud of dust and Starlight and Diamond Tiara alone.
"Soooooooo," Starlight's voice trailed uncomfortably long, "what do you do for fun?"
She didn't answer. "Alright, what gives? What's your angle? Is this some sort of friendship mission Twilight sent you on or something? Because I don't need anypony to be my friend..I've got all the friends I need. If it is, I'll act the part or whatever if it means you get your merit badge for...sisterhood or something..."
Starlight sighed internally. For such a young filly, she sure wasn't afraid to speak her mind. "No angles, no friendship missions, no...merit badges..."
Although memories of Twilight talking about such a thing came up in her mind, Starlight conveniently chose not to mention it.
Diamond Tiara eyed her suspiciously, scheming something rude or hurtful to say next. But instead, she suddenly found herself not wanting to bother. She was so used to assuming everything was always some sort of trick that she didn't know what to do when genuinely nice things happened to her. But, she found it within herself to swallow her suspicions anyways.
"...Okay," she replied flatly, then tried to answer Starlight's question. "Well, sometimes I like to um...go to..."
Starlight wondered just how rarely Diamond Tiara actually got out and spent time with ponies like her mother said, and quickly suggested a venue to keep her from embarrassing herself. "We can go get some milkshakes. I'll buy!"
Diamond Tiara agreed, thankful that she didn't have to come up with an answer. But unfortunately, that didn't stop her sass. "Thanks, I'm glad you're paying for me, a filly with no job or bits."
Starlight almost decided to return some of that sass, but for a brief moment found herself admiring the sarcasm and sheer bluntness Diamond Tiara evidently had. It reminded her a bit of herself, and she smiled. "Alright, alright. You've made your point. Let's go."
Minutes later, they were sitting together at the milkshake parlor with two milkshakes in front of each other at one of the booths near the back. Starlight was at a complete loss for words, so she just sucked on the straw sticking out of her strawberry milkshake.
Surprisingly, Diamond Tiara broke the ice. "So, you wanted somepony to be your little sis, is that it? Is that why you're doing this?"
Starlight blushed a little bit in embarrassment. That was, of course, exactly the motivation behind her decision to spend time with Diamond Tiara, but she hadn't expected to have it thrown right back into her face. And by a filly, no less. Yet somehow after a few moments, her perception turned around once again. For such a young filly, Diamond Tiara was incredibly observant of others. Starlight even doubted her own ability to be so observant in comparison. "Well...yeah. I saw my other friends all having somepony young to bond--" Starlight quickly corrected her word choice, "--be a mentor to, and I just thought that might be...kinda nice."
Diamond Tiara took a slurp from her milkshake, hiding a sly grin. "I thought so."
Starlight felt like she was the pony being mentored at this point based on how effortlessly Diamond Tiara directed their conversations. Once again she found herself admiring the filly's sheer boldness.
"Alright, Ms. Know-It-All, tell me this: What's your beef with Apple Bloom and her friends? I've seen the way you two avoid talking to each other."
She seemed to take offense to that. "Hey, I said we could spend some time together, not play twenty questions."
Starlight could see the uncertainty in her eyes though, as Diamond Tiara immediately began taking another sip from her milkshake. Starlight had learned a lot about Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo from her own friends over many moons. Everything from their accomplishments to their little sisters' misgivings, they would occasionally swap stories with each other, but she still wouldn't know the more personal details of their lives.
Starlight wanted to be a part of that experience. That was what mostly caused her to seek out a little filly of her own to offer guidance to. There was a certain, indescribable feeling that being there for somepony younger than herself that she felt like they all had, and that she was missing out on.
"Hello?" Diamond Tiara continued after finishing another sip from the milkshake. "I didn't say we had to sit in silence either. I'd rather talk than be bored, if we're going to actually do this thing."
Starlight recovered from the extended escapade into her thoughts. "Oh. Yeah. Alright, we'll talk about something else."
Diamond Tiara took that as an invitation and a devilish grin grew on her face. "So, I heard you were the dictator of some town away from Ponyville? How did that go?"
"Hey," Starlight Glimmer became flustered again, almost ready to give Diamond Tiara some of her own medicine, but then saw this as an opportunity. "Well...not great, honestly."
Surprised, and somewhat disappointed from her hopes of provoking an interesting reaction, Diamond Tiara took another sip.
Starlight continued. "I made a lot of mistakes back then, even though I thought I was doing things right."
Diamond Tiara stopped mid-sip to briefly add something. "Worst kind of mistake."
Starlight agreed, and mentally noted that Diamond Tiara had actually said something that wasn't sarcastic or two-faced. "I treated everypony like equals, assuring nopony would ever feel left out or abandoned or overshadowed by somepony else. But...I made sure of that by making sure nopony could ever shine themselves..."
Diamond Tiara stopped and found herself uncomfortable at Starlight being so expressive and open about her problems and the mistakes she'd made. It made her feel like she had to be there for her, and she didn't know how to handle it. But the feeling of discomfort gradually eased, and she asked an honest question. "So...how did you apologize to them? Did they forgive you?"
Again, Starlight found herself astonished by Diamond Tiara's perceptiveness. It was like she knew exactly what thing to say to bring the deepest, darkest problems ponies faced into the light. It was the topic she often had trouble talking about, even after so long. But Diamond Tiara's intrigue helped her push through. "Well, it took a long time, but eventually it just sort of happened. Time heals all wounds, I suppose."
It was a semi-truth. Starlight knew she was forgiven, but every once and awhile the doubts she harbored resurfaced briefly.
Diamond Tiara was actually looking at her now, instead of into her milkshake. Then a smile grew on her face. "My mom just says time is money."
Starlight Glimmer laughed. "Yes, your mom certainly has a thing for it." But she didn't talk any further on that and kept the subject on track. She could see Diamond Tiara beginning to open up and it almost brought a tear to her eye, as she had never expected things to go as well as they were beginning to.
Diamond Tiara asked yet another question. "So you knew all of those pony's special talents?"
"Oh of course," Starlight Glimmer replied, although the tone quickly turned solemn. "I knew all about each of their special talents since I stripped them away, one by one..."
Diamond Tiara's eyes widened. That was a detail she wasn't aware of. Suddenly she fully realized that she was sitting across from somepony who in the not-so-distant past would have been a true villain. So villainous, in fact, that it took the town's most well-known heroes of friendship to stop her. In an instant, Diamond Tiara found herself simultaneously admiring and relating in so many ways to Starlight: the reformed villain who was innocently drinking a strawberry milkshake across from her. Starlight Glimmer had gone through so much more than she could have ever imagined, and Diamond Tiara felt her own problems seemed so small in comparison.
Starlight saw it in her eyes. "Alright, enough about me. I told you my deepest, darkest secrets. Now you tell me what's up between you and Apple Bloom."
Diamond Tiara felt a reflexive urge to be mean or callous, but after hearing Starlight be so raw and open with herself, she sighed, thought for a few moments, then shifted her milkshake aside. "Alright...here's the deal. I mean, we obviously used to be, like, mortal enemies or whatever. Everypony knew it. We spent...I spent years making fun of them, being mean...but then eventually, those three...well...they showed me...they...showed me..."
Tears began welling up in her eyes and she tried to push through. "They showed me that...I could be their friend too."
Starlight opened her mouth to reply, but Diamond Tiara kept going.
"And I was just so...happy and confused...but I didn't know how to be their friend. And well, I mean, I just...I wanted to--"
Starlight held back a few tears of her own, but stopped Diamond Tiara after realizing she was having troubles expressing herself. "I understand."
Diamond Tiara looked up at her, tears streaming down her face. "You do?"
Starlight looked back at her for a few moments, watching the tears stream down her cheeks and the light twinkle in her eyes. She suddenly felt feelings of duty and responsibility overcome her, but combined with something else that made her feel important like she'd never felt before. She was sitting across from someone so fragile, yet so talented and perceptive, and she felt an overwhelming sense of responsibility to do all she could to let the truly great parts of Diamond Tiara's character shine through.
"Of course I do," Starlight replied, half smiling with a tear in her eyes. "When Twilight and her friends offered me friendship at first, it took me ages to actually accept that it was really happening. And even afterwards, there were so many times I found myself doubting it. To be honest, I still occasionally have those doubts today." She rubbed a couple tears from her eyes. "I'm haunted by my own past, even though it's over and forgiven."
Diamond Tiara sniffled a couple times and calmed down. "Maybe you just need to forgive yourself."
Again and again and again, Starlight found herself astonished by Diamond Tiara's intuition. Those words hit her like a sack of bricks, her cheeks welling up as she fought back against a couple more waves of tears. She already knew that advice, but something about having it given to her by Diamond Tiara made it seem so much more meaningful. "Maybe you're right...and maybe you need to do the same with Apple Bloom and her friends."
Diamond Tiara looked confused, suddenly coming to the realization that she'd just given advice to somepony else that she needed the most herself. She'd always been great at seeing the faults and strengths of other ponies, and in the past tended to only focus on the faults, but when it came to herself she wasn't really capable of seeing either. "So...you're saying I should forgive myself for being so mean to them?"
Starlight nodded and smiled in agreement.
"But why haven't they done anything to be friends with me since then?"
"Well, friendship is a two way street," Starlight replied with a friendship-ism she'd absorbed from Twilight, grimacing internally for using something so cliche. "You have to give just as much as you take. The Cutie Mark Crusaders offered you friendship already. All you've gotta do is accept it." Starlight looked down and lowered her voice. "But that's the hardest part sometimes, and I say that from experience."
"You mean...I have to ask to go out and have fun with them?"
"Of course," Starlight replied with a smile. Diamond Tiara acted like an adult in so many ways, but every so often her childish naivete came out into the open. "How else would you expect it to happen? They're probably wondering why you haven't yet."
Diamond Tiara looked down again. "I guess that explains why they always act so...weird around me."
"That'd do it," Starlight replied, then took a big sip from her milkshake to finish it off.
Diamond Tiara sighed and thought to herself, considering saying something that she knew she truly wanted to say but had to fight back against an inner reflex to hide her feelings. But after a few moments of courage, she went ahead and said it.
"Thank you for...talking with me."
Starlight smiled again. After hearing that, she knew that Diamond Tiara was the best filly she could be a big sister to.
Around them in the ice cream parlor, ponies of all shapes and sizes talked with one another as they continued talking. After awhile, their conversation drifted to other more positive things. Diamond Tiara shared a few stories about how she first met Silver Spoon, her first real friend, and Starlight talked about the adventures she'd been on with Twilight and the gang. Ponies shuffled in and out of the parlor for hours as the two of them spoke together at the booth in the back, bonding and engaging in a conversation that neither wanted to ever end. But eventually, it did, and they left together to part ways with promises to spend time together soon.
Starlight returned to Twilight's castle where a few of her friends were apparently having a casual get-together with some tea and cakes. She noticed Rarity, Applejack and Rainbow Dash lounging together in the library around a fireplace and was immediately offered a seat together. The conversation drifted from topic to topic as they talked about stories from their days and other interesting bits of information.
But eventually, the topic of their younger sisters came up, and a very wide smile grew on Starlight's face.
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If I didn't want to punch Spoiled Rich as hard as I could already, her scene in this would have made me do that more.
I already wanted an episode that had DT and Starlight together, but this story made me want one even more.
8385786
Good, you're supposed to want to punch her
I sincerely think it would make a great episode. Not what I wrote, but something more suited towards the show's style for sure. Thanks!
Starlight and Diamond do make for a good Big Sister-Little Sister pairing, what with being reformed baddies and all. Hopefully this initial glimpse at this duo won't be the last. Great job nurturing this idea and making it fully realized!
8386111
I hope they do an episode about it in the future! Probably not gonna happen this season though. Thanks for reading!
That, was a really nice little story there. I wouldn't mind more from this idea
8386214
Thank you, I appreciate that
Spoiled Rich, you're a beautiful trash-horse and I love you. Don't ever change.
Also, "interrupted snobbishly" might be the most Spoiled Richiest dialogue tag I've ever seen in my life.
8386222
Spoiled Rich is a fun character to write, I've recently discovered. I kind of want to write a story that gives her more lines now. Thanks for reading
I love how DT and Starlight seem to be the new big adoption pair--they're super cute together!
yeah, might need another chapter of this. possibly a camping ep with the crusaders and co.
Wow, Spoiled's snobby attitude actually did some good in this story.
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8386872
Thank you all! Continuing this story is a possibility, and if I did it would focus on Diamond Tiara and Apple Bloom probably. With tomorrow's episode being another "sister camping" episode, maybe I'll get some more ideas.
My stupid other reason they make a good pair is the matching color scheme
8387386
So much purple (and pink)!
This was good yet i would have wish it had more chapters, and see were it leads, heck having both take part at tge social
Ok so this is not a starlight related to diamond fic but starlight helps diamond make friends.
8388340
Yes. This is a Starlight adopts Diamond Tiara as her younger sister fic.
A sisterly bonding for them.
Wonder if Diamond Tiara and Spike were 'hanging out' to get away from troubles?
"PUNCH that Spoiled Rich IN THE FACE--LIKE A BOSS! And high-hooves all round!"
I can understand feeling that kind of nervousness. Thank you anxiety disorder. >_>
8450936
I call it analysis paralysis. Sometimes we just need to shut our brains off and not ruminate over every possible scenario.
8451102
Makes sense. But like I said, I suffer from anxiety so for me it usually comes down to having to work up the nerve to do something. And that can take a while.
For once, Spoiled has a point. After all, that "flightless pegasus" has a mentor.
I want to like this story. I really do. It is an excellent idea, but an idea isn't a story and this collection of 3,500 words is a prime example of what that means.
Spoilers below.
So, there are several things presented in this story that are a good start. Starlight has a clear and relate-able goal and motivation. Three of her friends among the M6 have little sisters (while the other three have older siblings, a point the story ignores but is not a flaw for doing so I feel). One of those older sister (Maud) is in fact her friend too. So, Pinkie being Maud's little sister would fit this theme of "my friends have little sisters." That one does feel like a flaw.
Starlight isn't sure what to do about this urge she has, so she turned to Apple Bloom. At first this feels somewhat dirty. But then the story reminds you that Apple Bloom's job is to help other ponies (including adults) with cutie mark issues. While this has nothing to do with that directly, she is reasonably well-connected and a solid person to contact for help. So, overall I'll call this one a good thing too. That said, Sweetie Belle or Scootaloo could also have been approached using the same logic, and Scootaloo being an adoptive little sister might have more direct insight into what Starlight is after than Apple Bloom. So... minor complaint at best.
They come up with Diamond Tiara as a candidate. The point of the story. Fully on board with this, though more on this later.
They go up to her house and knock on the door. Straight and to the point. No issue with that.
Spoiled Rich answers and is delightfully bitchy. While there are a few bits of her contribution to the story that don't sit well with me, overall I'd say she's fine as a choice for the story and serves her small role overall well. Could just use a little polish. Again, more on that later.
Diamond and Starlight talk. It is a somewhat awkward conversation. That's fitting. They come to an understanding of each other by examining a few of their flaws and struggles to move on in this whole "being a better pony" path. Which forms the core of what the story is about, and again I am on board with this.
I didn't really notice any glaring technical issues with the grammar. Pacing was blazingly fast though, and just slowing the hell down and letting us soak in the story for awhile would have done this piece wonders. A lot of other commentators are saying they want to see more, and I agree. Not so much in the form of additional chapters or a sequel, just finish writing what you started here. Every single point I mentioned above should have been three to twenty times longer. Every single good point this story has, we should have been given a lot more options, discussion, contemplation, or confrontation of some kind. We got a bare-bones depiction of all of those ideas then we were rushed on to the next part.
That said, continuing on and going somewhere with this idea would also be welcome. There are tons of episodes involving the sister pairs that you could use for inspiration to come up with your own trials and tribulations as they figure each other out, grow to trust each other, and bond.
So at several points I said I'd get into more detail on some things. This was a great idea done abysmally badly.
I already hinted on the whole sisterly dynamic. Instead of just telling us that it exists, you could have had something Starlight witnessed that brought this to her attention. Maybe watching Applejack and Apple Bloom work together. Sweetie Belle and Rarity doing something. Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo working on her scooter or strength training her wings or something. Maud and Pinkie getting along without inflicting Pinkie on them.
The first really glaringly bad part of the story though is in the fact that Apple Bloom comes up with Diamond Tiara first. The story tries this option out, and boom. Success. You could have tried out some other options and padded this part of the story out easily. You depict Apple Bloom as being somewhat uneasy towards Diamond Tiara, so it seems fitting she might be hesitant to suggest her.
Think back to May the Best Pet Win. One of the reasons that episode is interesting is because we see Rainbow Dash trying different pets, but she winds up picking Tank because he earns it in a way Rainbow Dash doesn't expect. If you came up with some reason why Starlight and Apple Bloom don't immediately choose Diamond Tiara, but let her become the "unexpected choice" that would make this whole story way more interesting.
Further along these lines, having Starlight talk to the other two CMC, get their suggestions, and let the trio work as a group to help Starlight out and you'd immediately get more material as well.
Spoiled Rich is equal parts well-used and terribly used, all wrapped up in a short bit of the story. On the one hand, she serves to illustrate at least a small part of what life is like for Diamond after Crusaders of the Lost Mark. You do a reasonably good job of making her rather unlikable, and for Diamond to not be all that keen on her and her ideas either. That's fine. But I struggle to imagine several things. One, why did she answer the door at all when they have a butler? Two, why was she fine with her daughter going off with some adult mare she doesn't know?
It's like you had the start of a good piece of characterization for her and Diamond's home life, but then you just kind of dropped it. You could have done so much more with that if you hadn't been in such a rush to just get the idea out and run off to the next part.
As for the last bit, it was mostly fine and the result of the terrible "story" leading up to it. Getting the two to talk, open up, and help each other out via the conversation is good. It just should have had a better leadup getting us to this point. As it stands, we never get much insight into why Starlight feels willing to open up beyond the fact that the author is making her do so. She's also opening up about things that she more or less opened up on with Trixie already, so it loses a bit of impact for her side of things. Diamond's side of things are reasonably good character bits, but having her open up to this strange adult mare still feels forced. What has Starlight actually done to earn her respect and trust? Reveal that she used to be a really bad person?
Simply slowing down the pacing by adding more discussion at several points would do wonders for this story, but it feels like so many of its good ideas are plagued with terrible execution, that I can't help but think this would need a complete rewrite to really present the good idea well. I think there are several canon episodes you could mine for ideas and character bits to really work this rewritten story out well, such as the aforementioned May the Best Pet Win. I'd also suggest various other episodes like Sisterhooves Social, Brotherhooves Social, Sleepless in Ponyville, and Campfire Tales. If you want ideas for how to present Starlight as someone Diamond could trust, the fact that she is a national hero and probably saved Diamond Tiara personally from changelings (whilst saving everyone) might be worth bringing up.
The really awkward part is that the idea is really good. I hope someone takes their own attempt at writing the idea out and doing a better job at telling a good story around it. If not you, then someone else. Obviously though if someone does do that, I'm sure there would be complaints about "idea stealing" or some such. So we're left in this state we're in.
8496896
A fair review and done well enough to not feel like harassment, which I've had in the past from people that decide to treat my stories as if I was paid to write them or something (people can be amazingly rude). If someone is going to review my work like a critic without asking, they should be able to do so without making it feel like a roast (which you've done a good job of avoiding). I mostly just write for myself, honestly. But if there's anything that's the bane of my existence with writing, it's pacing. Personally speaking, I have some heavy issues with focus in my life in general, so that kind of lifestyle bleeds into my writing and it definitely shows. I've come a long ways though, and it's disheartening (but good) that it's still being pointed out as a criticism, so I can continue to get better at it (and I have, believe me)
I probably won't be returning to rewrite this story, but I do appreciate your suggestions and criticisms sprinkled with genuine praise. I don't care if anybody takes my ideas and rewrites them. This was probably one of my more original ideas as far as what's on the site at the moment though, but I'm not attached to anything so much that I'd be offended if someone else wrote it, better or worse.
Spoiled Rich will always be her, rude and a pain in the neck. But I'm already loving the bond between Starlight and Diamond Tiara. Nice choice, and great story.
A greta story about two characters we normally don't see interact.
Nice to see these two characters interact. They have more in common than I thought
9465096
I know right? I really hope they do an episode with them in the final season.
I really wish that Hasbro could make an episode of Starlight and Diamond Tiara starting to bond, it would be s very fun topic to see in an actual animation. Unfortunately, they’ve already published the last season of MLP, and it didn’t have anything like that. But, thank you for writing this story! By the way, I just made an account today so don’t worry if I don’t post a lot of story’s very soon. Right now im working on one.
All the parts that come from inside of Starlight's head are written very well, like things she would actually be thinking. Happy Starlight Glimmer day btw!
I would read a whole series about this!
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Thanks!
This is definitely a story idea I would consider coming back to and redoing.
That was a sweet DT and Starlight fanfic!