Shades of Grey

by Inquisitor M

18. The Fragile Heart

18. The Fragile Heart

The Morning After:

A thought stirred. A sensation—a smell—came to her. A smell she knew. The smell was important.

Her stomach growled.

Leek soup!

Sheets flew into the air, landing in a heap on the floor as Rarity leapt of bed and raced out of the room.

In the kitchen, Spike’s eyes bulged; the unicorn careened through the doorway, skidding on the polished floor and diving at the little dragon with legs outstretched. Scooping him up, she rolled and slid to a halt.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, curling into a foetal position and holding him tightly with all four legs.

“Rarity?” Spike’s cheeks burned, his body frozen in place. After a few seconds, he rested his head against the white coat that enveloped him. “What’s wrong?”

As suddenly as she’d swept him up, she released him and scrabbled to her hooves. “I… I…” An empty bowl sat next to a large pot of bubbling soup, and two more rested in the sink. “How many times, Spike? How many times did you make me soup?”

“Four,” Spike replied, getting to his feet. He clasped his claws together and stared at the floor. “I didn’t want to wake you. I wanted it to be perfect.”

“It was perfect, Spike. It was perfect because you cared, and… and I’m sorry I ran out on you yesterday.”

Spike’s face brightened, but he didn’t look up. “That’s all right. You know I like helping out.”

“But you deserved better. I wish I had the words to explain, but I want you to know how much I appreciate it—how much I appreciate everything you do for me.” She sank to her haunches and lifted his chin with a hoof. “There’s just… there’s something important I need to ask you to do.”

“Uh-oh. Now you sound all serious.”

“I need some time to think—some time alone. I really am grateful, Spike, but I need you to go home and not come back until I say so.” The little dragon’s head drooped again, and Rarity lifted it back up. “Spike, listen to me carefully. I know you’ll worry, but believe me when I say that it isn’t anything you’ve done. You’ve been nothing but wonderful, but… I mean I… it’s just that—”

“You need time to think.” Spike frowned. “I get it, but you’re acting all weird. Should I be worried?”

Rarity slumped against the cupboards behind her. “No… I don’t know,” she said quietly. “Goodness, I don’t even know what I’m saying.” She closed her eyes and breathed deep, a grimace flickering across her face until two clawed hands grasped around her neck and a scaly little dragon pushed his head up under her chin.

Wrapping a leg around his shoulders, she returned his embrace. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.

“It’s okay. Should I go now?”

“Please tell Twilight exactly what I’ve said. I don’t want you to be alone with this.” Rarity wrapped her other foreleg around him. “I don’t think I’ve ever told you how special you are to me. No, I’m certain I haven’t. Spike, you’re very, very special to me. I want you to know that.” Tears formed under her eyelids and she kissed the top of Spike’s head before she released him. A beaming smile spread across her face as Spike looked up at her. “I’ll be fine. I promise. Now, go and tell Twilight what I said, please.”

With a sheepish grin and a rosy complexion, Spike backed away before running from the kitchen. The faint slam of the front door echoed through the boutique, and Rarity slumped sideways to the floor.

“What are you doing, Rarity.” She brushed away a knotted curl of her mane that flopped over one eye.

You’re only going to hurt him in the long run, you know.

The curl flopped back into her face. Rarity huffed. “Focus, Rarity. Twilight will be coming soon. Time to work your magic.”

( III )

“Come on up, Twilight!”

Rarity wrapped a towel around her soggy mane, and when Twilight’s hoofsteps echoed up the stairwell, she adjusted her bathrobe before lying out on the bed.

“Wow,” Twilight said, appearing in the doorway. “You certainly look better. Did you have a good bath?”

“Urgh, darling, you have absolutely no id—Fluttershy!”

Twilight stepped inside the room, revealing the bandaged pegasus that hid behind her. She giggled as Fluttershy’s ears folded down. “I found her outside with a bag of lemon cakes. She couldn’t decide whether to risk waking you up or not, but she looked pretty desperate to come in if you ask me.”

Rarity patted the bed beside her. “You absolutely must come and put your hooves up immediately. There’s a nurse somewhere having an absolute fit at you being up and around.”

Slinking across the room like a scalded animal, Fluttershy crept up onto the bed without saying a word, keeping her wide eyes fixed on Rarity. Only when Rarity looked her bandages over and nuzzled against her cheek did she relax. “I’m okay, Rarity. Really I am.”

Twilight looked on silently, beaming her own, soppy grin.

“Twilight, dear, may I presume that Spike had a word with you this morning?”

The unicorn’s face darkened. “Yes. He seemed really confused—conflicted, even. What’s going on? Is his crush becoming a problem?”

“Oh, heavens no!” Rarity sat up sharply. “Well, yes, but… No, he’s been nothing but an absolute gentledragon. I’m afraid it’s me. I may have let things get on top of me a little. There’s so much I should have said and so many things I didn’t want to admit to and… I…”

Fluttershy’s weight fell against her, the pegasus’s head coming to rest above the bathrobe’s fuzzy collar.

“I…” Rarity repeated. Fluttershy breathed long and slow, eyes closed and indistinguishable from sleeping. “I suppose…” her attention flicked back to Twilight. “I suppose I was—I mean I am—jealous of the way you two are together.”

Twilight blinked. “Huh?”

“Well, whatever happens you always end up being so comfortable with each other, but I always feel like I’m walking on eggshells around him. He’s such a dear, but I’m terrified that I’ll confuse and hurt him if I tell him how I really feel…” Rarity’s head dipped. “But I suppose I’ve managed that already. I didn’t realise how much it was hurting me to keep it hidden until… well, you know.”

Twilight smiled; Rarity frowned.

“Twilight? What are you looking at me like that for?”

“Oh, just something Luna said.” Twilight smirked. “I should probably leave you two to talk for a while. And don’t worry. I’ll take care of Spike until you’re ready to talk about it.”

“Ready to… What did Luna say?”

“I’m still not sure I understand it all,” Twilight said, chewing her lip. “But she said she didn’t know where all this had come from, just that you’d need to talk to somepony about it sooner or later. To be honest, it feels a little scary, but you know you can always come and talk to me if you need to, right?”

“We could all go to the spa together,” Fluttershy said without otherwise moving. “You love talking about what’s bothering you while you get a treatment.”

Rarity grimaced, sucking in a breath through clenched teeth. “Oh. Oh dear. Twilight, would you mind if it was just Fluttershy and I at the spa?” Despite her even tone, she cringed even before finishing the question.

Twilight’s face fell, her joy snuffed out like a wetted candle. “Of course,” she said with a nervous giggle. “Who wouldn’t want to confide in Fluttershy at a time like this? I guess I’ll go back and check on Spike. I mean… it’s not like I even noticed that anything was wrong in the—”

“Twilight.” The purple unicorn flinched. “Twilight, that’s not what I meant at all. I’m sorry, I just want to spend some time with Fluttershy and then I want to spend some time with you. Would you like to come over and spend the night tomorrow, just the two of us?”

The joy in Twilight’s eyes reignited—and was snuffed out again.

“I’d really love to, Rarity, but I don’t think it’s fair to sleep here while Spike stays at home. The timing’s just wrong.” She let out a deep sigh. “It wouldn’t be fair on him right now.”

“I could take him,” Fluttershy said, lifting her head from Rarity’s neck. “I just know he’d enjoy staying with me. And Twilight? Why don’t you take those lemon cakes with you, he seems to really like those.”

“That sounds simply marvellous, Fluttershy. Would that be all right, Twilight?”

“Yeah.” A little smile crept onto Twilight’s face. “I guess you’re not the only one letting things get on top of them. Thanks, Rarity. Thanks, Fluttershy.”

“Oh! If you’re going to take Fluttershy’s lemon cakes, please take some of my jasmine tea to go with it. They’re simply divine together.”

“I’ll use it for a picnic,” Twilight said, angling towards the door. “Spike will like that.”

“Twilight?”

“Yes, Rarity?”

“Take good care of him, won’t you? He’s very special to me.”

“He’s a special little guy.” Twilight’s smile grew. “I’ll take good care of him. I promise.”

Before the bedroom had even closed behind Twilight, Fluttershy fell back against Rarity’s side with another long sigh.

Sometimes words are unnecessary, hmm? Still…

“Fluttershy? Is everything all right? You seem... my word this sounds awful, but you seem unusually affectionate, darling.”

The pegasus giggled. “You let me in,” she said softly. “You hid it from everypony else, but you let me in. You trusted me.”

“I did…” Rarity’s voice was quiet and breathy like a gentle breeze. “I mean, I do. I missed you; I just don’t think I wanted to admit how much I missed you. I want to you all to myself for a little while, even if that makes me a horrible pony.”

“Oh!” Fluttershy pulled herself upright and launched herself at Rarity, throwing to legs around the unicorn’s neck and hugging her fiercely. “Rarity, I think that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me. You’re a lovely pony and of course I want to spend time with you, but that’s not what I was talking about.” Relaxing the hug, she pulled back far enough to look straight into Rarity’s eyes. “Yesterday, when we were on the chariot, you were afraid and upset. You told everypony that you were fine, but you let me be there for you.”

Rarity’s eyes flew wide open.

“You-you mean… you knew? I felt like I’d used you—lied to you… I always felt like you needed me and-and… I liked it. I hate myself for it, but I liked it. It made me feel special.” She shrunk down, hugging herself tightly. “I am a horrible pony. I’m the one who needs you.”

Fluttershy gave her a peck on the cheek. “But you used me—trusted me. You could have trusted in Twilight, or Applejack, or Rainbow Dash—okay, maybe not Rainbow Dash—but you trusted me, and it was wonderful. I do need you, Rarity, but I love that you need me too. Now, fetch me a brush so I can see to your mane while you tell me all about Spike.”

Hours of talk later, Fluttershy lay fast asleep on the bed. Rarity watched the pegasus’s gentle breathing for a while, a smile flickering on and off her face.

“I love you,” she said quietly. “I know I should be saying this while you’re awake, and I’m sorry, but I love you. I really do have the best friends a pony could ask for.”

( III )

Two Days After:

“Let me get this straight. You want me to ask Princess Celestia to throw a huge party in Canterlot Castle for Princess Luna?” Twilight asked. “I’m pretty sure she’s been trying that for over a year now and Luna has always refused. What makes you think I can do anything?”

Rarity rolled another clutch of Twilight’s hair into a curl, and huffed when the unicorn turned to frown at her. “Really, darling, you must hold still. I only asked that you convince Princess Celestia to agree in principle. You’ll just have to trust me that I think I can convince Luna to go through with it.”

“Fine,” Twilight replied, taking her proper position again. “I’ll write a letter first thing. I don’t like asking the Princess for favours, that’s all.”

Before Rarity had lifted another strand of hair, Twilight turned back to her, bright-eyed and energetic. “I got a letter from Celestia today.”

Rarity pouted and placed her styling accoutrements back on her dresser. “Oh, very well then. I’m interested. Do tell.”

“Stormcloud vanished—apparently he didn’t take too well to Canterlot. They found him quickly enough, but he’s refusing to speak to anypony except Luna, and she’s not ready to visit him yet. It sounds… complicated.”

With a contemplative hum, Rarity stared out the window. “I can understand that. He’s been alone for a long time and Canterlot’s a busy place. He wants to feel special, so he’s making Luna come to him.”

“Wow.” Twilight cocked her head slightly. “How do you know that?”

For several seconds, Rarity was silent. “Twilight, I owe you an apology.” She still stared out of the window, her eyes growing vacant and haunted. “I know because it’s what I wanted from Luna, and I only wanted that because I was too scared to talk to you or the girls. I was…” Her eyes glistened, the moisture building in her long pause. “I didn’t want to trouble you. I’m proud when ponies see me as strong and independent, and I was afraid you’d think I was foolish and weak. I thought you might think less of me.”

“Rarity!” Twilight’s jaw hung wide open. “I wouldn’t! None of us would. I’m not even—” Rarity’s hoof shushed her.

“Please, Twilight. If I don’t say this now I’m not sure if I ever will.” She let the hoof fall away and faced Twilight head on. “We’ve all grown up and gotten a little busier and I just started getting this feeling of, I don’t know, drifting apart. When you came to me for help I wanted so desperately to do everything I could for you—and for Fluttershy—but… you’re the one who found out about the mountain, and then I got angry at Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie and made everything worse. I got ill and Princess Luna came along and…”

Tears rolled down her cheeks and her voice started to waver. “I just wanted to help, but I couldn’t. Then you-you said you just wanted to help me—that you wanted me to let you help me. I felt so-so-so…” Her eyes squeezed tight shut and she inhaled a stuttering breath before starting to sob.

“Shhhh.” Twilight wrapped her legs gently around her friend, stroking her withers and crest while cooing softly. “Rarity, Luna asked me to do one thing that I just couldn’t do. She asked me to write down exactly how I felt about you and then read it to you. I sat for hours last night after Spike went to bed, but I couldn’t do it. Now I think Luna obviously saw this coming.”

She pulled away and touched her nose to Rarity’s. “I couldn’t find the words, Rarity. I couldn’t explain it, and it makes me realise that I haven’t said it. Applejack was right: there’s a certain unicorn that needs to know just how important she is to her friends and we haven’t said it. I love you. I can’t imagine my life without you in it. I’m not going to stop until I can find the words that tell you how important you are to me, because that’s the only way I’m ever going to know that I’m a good enough friend to deserve you in my life.”

Leaning forwards again, she slipped her hooves back around Rarity’s neck and nuzzled against the unicorn’s tear-sodden face. “I will always be here for you. I promise,” she whispered, rocking gently from side to side as Rarity descended into more sobbing. “I promise,” she repeated, nuzzling, stroking, and fussing as the crying continued.

“I promise.”

( III )

One Week After:

“Howdy, Rarity.” Applejack eyed the banners, drapes, and other decorations that festooned the walls as she strode into the boutique. “Sweetie Belle said you wanted to see me?”

“One moment, please.” Rarity sat at her workstation, red-rimmed sewing glasses balanced on her muzzle and lips pursed as she stitched gold ribbon onto a white pennant.

Applejack swept her eyes around the room again. “Golly, I haven’t seen this much finery since—Wait a gosh-darned minute! Are you gonna try an’ get me all gussied up again?”

Rarity winced, sucking in a sharp breath.

“Ah knew it! What is it this time, Rarity? Come on girl, spit it out!”

The unicorn’s needle and thread floated down onto the cloth. “Oh, Applejack,” she said, putting on her ‘refined whining’ voice and pouting. “Don’t be like that.”

“Ah know everypony’s been dancin’ around you real careful since last week, an’ Ah don’t wanna go upsettin’ no apple-carts, but Ah wanna know what you’re plannin’.”

Rarity huffed. “Fine. I’m working on the celebratory decorations for Luna. Princess Celestia accepted that a celebration was long overdue and I’d like you to be there with me—you and Rainbow Dash.”

“Huh. So how come you’re only tellin’ me about this now?”

“Well, I didn’t want to disturb you until I had something ready. I know how busy you are with your work, especially after last week, so I was trying to be helpful.”

Chewing her lip, Applejack blew out a sigh. “That sounds mighty reasonable, Rarity. Ah’m sorry Ah got all worked up, but you know how I feel about gettin’ dressed up all fancy.”

“Yes, dear,” Rarity replied with a wry smile. “You always complain and then end up enjoying it.”

“Heh. Yeah. Guess you’re right. So, uh, why me?”

“Not just you: three of us in each princess’s colours along with the Elements of Harmony. I just… I want you next to me, Applejack. We’re both so busy all the time that I thought it would be nice if we were next to each other in the ceremony. I just don’t seem to see much of you unless some sort of catastrophe is happening. That’s all.”

Applejack gave her a vacant stare.

“I mean, I-I’d just like us to spend some time together, just… you know, because…”

“Ah’m not rightly sure Ah follow, Rarity.”

Growling, Rarity flopped her head onto the bench and momentarily covered it with her hooves. Then, she sprang back up, eyes and lip twitching. “For example, when I went to the spa with Fluttershy, I didn’t go to the spa and Fluttershy came with me, I spend some time with Fluttershy and we went to the spa. You see?”

“Oh! Y’all wanna girl-date then. Gotcha. You’re right, we haven’t just hung out in forever. Come on over to Sweet Apple Acres for lunch tomorrow. We’ll camp out on the east hill with one o’ Granny Smith’s famous apple crumbles.”

Rarity slumped onto the desk, wide eyed and a jaw gaping.

So easy…

“All right, Sugarcube, where you hidin’ this dress you wanna get me into?”

Still sprawled on the bench, Rarity lit her horn and the curtain to her indoor stage drew aside, revealing six dresses in two sets: three of white and gold, and three in night-blue and lilac, and all with the respective princess’s cutie marks.

“Woah,” Applejack said breathlessly. “Shoot, Rarity. Ah reckon I like these a lot.”

“Alright, that’s it!” Rarity snapped upright. “Who are you and what have you done with Applejack?”

Applejack chuckled. “I mean it. They’re simple. You know, uncomplicated. They’re… well, they’re elegant.”

Rarity blinked.

“Uhh, that’s the right word, right? Elegant?”

“Oh, yes.” Rarity nodded enthusiastically. “That’s exactly the right word. It wouldn’t do to try and draw eyes away from our princesses, now, would it? So I made them to be stylish, yet demure. You really like them?”

“Sure! I’m kinda lookin’ forward to wearin’ ’em now. So, what’s the occasion again?”

Ten minutes later, Applejack breezed out of the Carousel Boutique, glowing with vim. As Rarity plodded back to her workstation, a smaller, white bundle of energy ran in from the kitchen. “See? Told you!”

Rarity smiled warmly. “Yes, Sweetie Belle, you were right, and what does that make you?”

“Best sister ever!”

“Indeed you are.” Rarity scooped her sister into a hug. “Best sister ever. And what do best sisters get?”

“Ice cream!”

After another twenty minutes of choosing exactly which headscarf went with her favourite sunglasses, Rarity arrived at Sugarcube Corner with Sweetie Belle in tow. Before the door could even swing shut, Pinkie leapt over the counter and tackled her to the ground.

“Whoohoo! You came!” Pinkie squeezed the unicorn tightly.

Rarity wheezed, forcing air into her constricted lungs. “I suppose… I deserved… that.”

“Well sure!” Pinkie continued, her voice overflowing with energy. “You’re the most deservingest best friend in the whole world! At first I was worried when I heard that you’d been all snuggly with Fluttershy and Twilight but you hadn’t come to see me but then I thought about all the horrible stuff that happened and Twilight said you needed some time to get over it so I shouldn’t disturb you and I waited and waited and waited and started to worry that you might still be mad at me for whatever it was that you were mad at me about before because you still hadn’t come to see me and Applejack said I should just be patient but I wanted to give you a big hug and now you’re here which means you’re not mad at me and everything going to be terrific and—”

Pinkie opened her mouth wide, sucking down an impossibly large volume of air until it was stuffed full of Rarity’s headscarf.

“Two hot fudge vanilla sundaes please,” Rarity said breathily.

Pinkie spat out the scarf and leapt to her hooves. “Coming right up!” she yelled, racing behind the counter.

After setting her mane straight, Rarity stood up, brushed herself off, and took a seat next to Sweetie Belle, who waited with a severe frown and a little pout.

“Whatever is the matter, Sweetie?”

“How come I knock you over in one little accident that totally wasn’t my fault and I get an hour lecture but Pinkie does it on purpose and you’re not even angry?”

Rarity chuckled. “How many times must I tell you that your adorable little pout isn’t going to work on me?”

Before Sweetie could reply, her face lit up as three super-sized sundaes slid onto the table. Pinkie plopped herself down on the spare seat, immediately sucking a third of her dessert through a thick straw.

“Hmmm, this is goooood,” she said, flopping back in her chair with her tongue lolling out of her mouth.

“Pinkie?” Rarity said, but there was no reaction from the blissed-out mare. “I was rather worried that you might still be angry with me, you know. I said some awful things and I wouldn’t blame you.”

“Nope!” Pinkie sat up and tipped the rest of the sundae straight down her throat. She licked her fudge-covered lips with a loud slurp and beamed a huge grin back at Rarity. “All forgotten.”

The unicorn, in turn, let out a long sigh. “Oh, thank goodness. You see, I was hoping you might help me. I have little… soirée planned, and I could use a few ideas on how to start it off with, well, a bang, as it were.”

Pinkie gasped. “A party?”

“Soirée.”

“Aaaaah!” Sweetie Belle’s eyes bulged as her spoon bounced across the table. “It lies! It’s cold at the bottom!”

“Of course, dear, it’s ice cream. Only the fudge sauce is hot.”

Sweetie Bell pounded on the table and scrunched up her face. “Brain freeze!”

Rarity smiled and let out a happy little sigh. “Back to normality, one minor emergency at a time.”

( III )

Two Weeks After:

“Bring on the dancing mares!” Glory yelled from the balcony, punctuating it with raucous laughter. He and Luna’s other pegasi looked down on several hundred ponies crammed into the audience chamber’s benches.

Rarity’s décor split the room in half, each side proudly professing the colours and grandeur of one royal sister. The golden stitches of Celestia’s banners shimmered in the mid-afternoon sun while the silver threads of Luna’s sparkled faintly on the shaded side of the hall. Even the end of each pew had little pennant depicting their respective princess’s cutie marks. As Rarity marched into the hall behind Luna—trailed in turn by Applejack and Rainbow Dash—she took one last look at the marvel her desires had wrought.

I hope you understand.

Celestia entered from the other side of the stage, the two princesses and six friends blending seamlessly with the decorations around them as the hall erupted into cheering and stamping hooves.

“Ponies of Equestria,” Celestia began, the power of her effortless voice subduing the crowd. “Ever since the recovery of the Elements of Harmony, I have wanted to celebrate my beautiful sister’s return to us. Until now, she has resisted my wishes, but I am pleased to announce that she had agreed to accept the recognition she rightly deserves. Before we get the celebration underway, however, Luna has a few words she would like to share. Sister?”

A murmur passed through the audience and Luna silenced it with a raised hoof.

“Citizens of Equestria! We stand before you today to accept our sister’s official—and we admit long overdue—welcome back from our exile. It pleases me that so many have turned out to welcome us into your hearts, and I pledge to carry on the good works of my sister, Celestia, that you are accustomed to.

“We would take this opportunity to thank these six who saved us from the tyrant, Nightmare Moon. However, we are also aware that many more of Equestria’s citizens do not always receive their just recognition. It pleases us to declare that we will be correcting this oversight. As wise and beneficent as my sister is, Equestria is large, and there are places that even her light does not reach.”

Rarity watched the crowd intently, the near-seditious implication spreading from one pony to the next in waves of hushed tones.

“We are fortunate that we already have one such citizen in mind. Citizen Spike, please attend me at once.”

Whispers rose to a clamour as ponies looked all around, but Rarity focused on the small dragon that sat in Thunderer’s saddle up on the balcony. At first, his eyes grew wide and he clutched onto the harness as Thunderer leapt from the balcony and slammed down onto the end of the carpet, but by the time the two moved down the aisle, he waved at the crowd, and the crowd cheered and waved back. Rarity grinned: it was no coincidence that the crowd had a disproportionate number of Ponyville residents.

“Uh. Hi, princess… es,” Spike said when Thunderer reached the stage.

“Are you, or are you not, Spike, special assistant to my sister’s protégé, Twilight Sparkle?”

“Yep! That’s me!”

“Then it is my duty to inform you that you stand accused of: Unwavering loyalty in the face of many dangers. Honesty, in your dealing with friends. Generosity, by helping anypony in times of need. Kindness, because frankly, anyone who puts up with Twilight all day must have it in spades.”

The crowd tittered.

“Hey!”

Luna shot the unicorn a grin. “If we might continue, Miss Sparkle?” Straightening herself, she addressed Spike again. “You are also accused of sharing much laughter with the residents of Ponyville and understanding, beyond all doubt, the magic of friendship. How do you plead, Citizen Spike?”

“Uhh…”

“Guilty as charged,” Thunderer whispered. “It’s an old joke, just run with it.”

“Oh! Guilty as charged, Princess!”

“Good. Sister, would you pass judgement for us?”

Celestia rolled her eyes but soon smiled sweetly at the dragon. “Spike, my dear friend. For your service to Equestria, and in recognition of the strength of your connection to these six ponies, and so many others besides, it is my pleasure to name you the honorary bearer of the Element of Friendship.”

Again, the hall erupted into a cacophony of whoops, cheers, and stamping hooves. Beside Luna, Rarity produced a small, Spike-sized tabard split into black and white halves, emblazoned with the six cutie marks now synonymous with the Elements of Harmony. She stepped down from the stage and carefully slipped the tabard over Spike’s head, grinning all the while. As she stepped back into formation, Luna nodded to Rarity, and Rarity nodded to Pinkie.

“It’s time for a party!” Pinkie screamed, leaping into the air. As the princesses spread their wings wide, filling the stage with their presence, the balls on the end of every banner-pole exploded into a confetti shower of silver moons and golden stars.

Luna strode out onto the balcony, Thunderer in perfect lockstep beside her. Leaning on the railing, Rarity watched the swarm of ponies chatting and laughing below.

“You convinced my sister to hold this celebration,” Luna said, “and me to honour your little dragon friend, so it puzzles me that you should now be hiding yourself from the fruition of your plans.”

Rarity remained silent, staring out over the party.

“Since I am to be subjected to this torture,” Luna continued, “I do not take kindly to you avoiding your responsibilities.”

“I’m sorry,” Rarity said quietly. “I wanted him to know how special he is, but it’s still complicated.”

“What is it that ails you? I may consider my debt repaid, but it pains me to see you like this. You have feelings for the little dragon, yet you are not celebrating with him. Explain.”

Rarity’s head sank. “I do have feelings for him—very strong feelings—but they aren’t the feelings he wants me to have. I don’t want to hurt him. I just... I couldn’t stand that.”

“Do you believe the truth would hurt so much?”

“Hypocrite,” Thunderer said.

“What?”

“You heard me, your majesty.”

Luna glowered at her guard, but his placid exterior remained unbroken. “Very well,” she said. “Speak plainly then.”

The guard cleared his throat. “Luna wants to suggest that if you truly care about each other, you will work it out.”

The princess’s stern visage melted.

“My brethren and I know that Luna is avoiding exactly this conversation with Princess Celestia. Do not think that we judge her, however, for no other pony has been through what Luna has been through. I would ask that you prove that she is wrong to fear such honesty.”

Looking out across the hall, Rarity quickly located Spike, who was chatting boisterously with Vindicator and several other ponies she didn’t recognise. She turned to Luna again and saw the princess looking back at her with the same pained expression she’d worn the last time they talked about Celestia.

Rarity pressed a hoof to Luna’s chest. Luna flinched, looked down at it briefly, then slowly returned the gesture. Luna’s eyes drifted shut as they shared one deep breath after another.

“I apologise,” Luna said quietly. “My actions betray my feelings. Perhaps it is better you listen to Thunderer in this. I will take my leave of you.”

The princess lowered her hoof and walked away, stopping as she passed through the archway. “You are dismissed, Thunderer. Please announce my retirement.”

When Luna passed out of earshot, Thunderer spoke. “You have my apologies, Lady Rarity, but I couldn’t let it pass without saying something. Please don’t feel the need to do anything you’re not ready for. I simply felt it my duty to make a point.”

“It’s all right. I do want to say something.” Rarity’s head hung low again, her eyes vacant.

“There is an old saying my father used to use: ‘wisdom starts with calling things by their proper name’.” The large stallion waited until Rarity’s head lifted from the rail and turned to him. “You love him, and it is only complicated because you fear what the word means.”

Rarity’s eyes narrowed.

“I’ve read Twilight’s letters—and yours,” he said. “Celestia has been my friend and confidant for many years. Who do you think Shining Armour replaced to become Captain of the Guard?” Thunderer paused until Rarity’s eyes shone with understanding.

“Nopony chose to put Spike and Twilight together; they chose each other, and I always suspected that is why Celestia started those friendship lessons. What Twilight learns, Spike learns. Children see themselves reflected in us. They look to us to know who they are and what they’re worth. You and your sister have had some similar experiences, I understand.”

With a little gasp, Rarity leant over the balcony and studied the group around Spike.

Thunderer stepped beside her. “Do know why Spike is hanging around Vindicator so much?”

“No. I have no idea. Do they know each other?”

“Do they…” Thunderer stared at her, blinking. “What is clear is that you don’t know Spike.”

“I…” Rarity scanned Thunderer’s face, but it gave nothing away. “I don’t know Spike? I don’t understand.”

The guard began walking away. “I have said enough. If you desire the truth, ask Vindicator what his real name is.” He stopped in the archway and looked back over his shoulder. “Perhaps something to boost your confidence would help?”

“Oh, my. No, no, I couldn’t possibly.”

“My last orders were that it was yours to use as long as you were Luna’s lady in waiting. As I recall, you still are.”

“I am? But that was weeks ago!”

“Luna said ‘until I say otherwise’, and she forgot to say otherwise. Call it a convenient technicality.”

Flanked by Vanilla and Silverlight, Rarity entered the audience hall wearing Luna’s ensemble. From the balcony, Thunderer’s voice boomed. “Princess Luna apologises for her early retirement. In her majesty’s place, may I present her lady in waiting, the Lady Rarity of Ponyville!”

The guards’ horns lit up, unfurling banners of Luna’s heraldry above them. A murmur passed through the crowd before the banners rolled up again and the unicorns bowed deeply and took their leave.

Rarity strode through the throng of ponies. She smiled and nodded at the attention bestowed upon her, but she did not deviate from her destination.

“Spike?” she called, finding the little dragon still talking to Vindicator. His face lit up, eyes sparkling.

“Woooaaah. Rarity… you’re—” Spike’s overt display vanished, his head and shoulders drooping as if his heartstrings had been slashed. “I’m sorry,” he said, shuffling his feet and clasping his claws together. “You just… you look... beautiful.”

You did that to him. Undo it. Now.

“Well that was weird.” Vindicator stepped forward, towering over the little dragon from behind and lowering his voice. “Spike? You okay buddy? You look like you just got hoofed in the gut.” He reached out, but Spike flinched away at his touch.

If you break his heart, he’ll hate you forever.

Rarity watched the exchange, studying the stallion’s shift in demeanour. Gone was the burly, hard-muzzled guardspony that refused Splashdown’s command, replaced with a softer, warmer pony that happened to be dressed in Luna’s colours.

“Vindicator?” Rarity’s voice wavered slightly. “Might… may I ask you something?”

The guard gave her a cursory glance before hoisting Spike off the ground with one leg, pulling him into a hug. For a second, Spike resisted, arms splayed outwards and trying to escape, but he soon relaxed, melting into the embrace and wrapping his arms around the stallion’s other leg. “I know, buddy. It sucks,” Vindicator said softly, rubbing the dragon’s back gently. “Go on, Rarity. Ask away.”

“Spike…” Rarity said under her breath, then looked upwards. “I was wondering—I mean, I was told that Vindicator isn’t your real name. I was wondering if you might tell me what your real name is?”

“Honour,” Spike replied, muffled from pressing his face against Vindicator. “His real name is Honour.”

“I’m surprised you even remember that, Spike.” He smiled, cuddling the little dragon tightly. “It’s a bit of a long story, that one.”

“Glory was teasing me.” Spike adjusted his head to speak clearly. “You broke his jaw and said you didn’t want to be his brother anymore.”

Rarity backed up a step.

“Oh.” Vindicator smiled. “Not such a long story after all.”

Relaxing her posture, Rarity looked the guard up and down. The idea of a fully grown, muscular stallion defending her when she’d been a filly had undeniable appeal.

“And the long version?” she asked.

Vindicator shuffled his back legs up and settled onto his haunches. “My brother and I aren’t smart by anypony’s reckoning, but we both wanted to be elite guards so badly that we pushed each other hard to graduate training. Funny thing is… I never asked why he wanted it so much. I thought that being Celestia’s chosen would make me somepony others could look up to. I thought that if Celestia thought I was somepony worthy—if she noticed me—then I could be proud to be me. Glory… Glory just wanted to be top dog.”

The guard’s face twisted into a snarl, but it passed quickly. “I hated it, but he was my brother and I loved him. I was pretty fond of Spike, too. He was around a lot back then, barely more than a whelpling, and Celestia would turn a blind eye to any on-duty antics that happened to keep him entertained and happy. We figured that anypony that wanted to spend time with him was probably the kind of pony that would do him good. We were wrong. I’d always looked up to Celestia—put her on a pedestal, as Luna says—so it never occurred to me that Spike didn’t see her in the same way. To him, she’d always been there—just another pony, albeit a beautiful one. So he looked everywhere else for comfort and got upset if anypony didn’t immediately take a liking to him.”

Rarity only noticed Spike had been staring at her when his attention shifted back to Vindicator. “Did not,” he said, mock punching the guard’s leg.

Chuckling, Vindicator rubbed Spike’s back. “Yeah, ya did. No-one could possibly blame a little orphan dragon for wanting to be loved. Anyway, the point is that he wanted everypony’s friendship; he wasn’t old enough to be discerning. I found Glory… taking advantage of him one day and absolutely lost it. I’m not proud of beating the tar out of my brother, but I’d do it again in a heartbeat. I changed my name and wanted nothing more to do with him. Of course, I thought my career was over, but Thunderer convinced me to accept some heavy punishments and stay. I didn’t get the promotion I’d always wanted, but when this assignment came along, he hoof picked me for the job. It took me a while to realise he wanted a pony that could see beyond the tiara.”

Beyond the tiara…

Rarity’s gaze swept across the hundreds of confetti stars and moons strewn across the floor. Each had come from their respective sides of the room, but here in the middle they were mixed together.

“Shades of grey,” she said to herself quietly. Her friends assembled around Celestia, but only Twilight, huddled under the princess’s wing, looked toward her, thick worry lines across her face.

Despite our differences, everyone wants to love and be loved. Twilight couldn’t find the words, but you have to. You have to make amends.

“Spike? I’m very sorry I asked you to leave the boutique. That was wrong of me and I hope you can forgive me.”

The little dragon let go of the stallion’s leg and half turned towards her. “That’s okay,” he said quietly, his gaze not rising from the floor. “You needed time to think. I get it.”

“No.” Rarity’s voice rose in volume and strength. “It was inexcusable to make you suffer on my account, and there’s something I need you to know.” She held out a hoof and waited. Spike slowly pushed the leg that held him to one side and walked towards her. After a few hesitant steps, he threw himself into her embrace.

“I’m sorry, Spike,” she whispered. “I’m very, very sorry.” A few quiet moments passed, and her eyes met Vindicator’s as she continued. “I used to want to make a dress that Princess Celestia would wear. I wanted it so badly, because it meant that my dresses were special—that… that I was special. I was a foolish mare. I have so many reasons to feel special, not least of which are the friends who love me. That includes a certain little dragon—a little dragon I love very dearly in return.”

Spike’s claws played across the edges of Rarity’s choker. “You’re just saying that to make me feel better,” he said in a small voice. “But thanks.”

Rarity leant back and raised her other foreleg, wrapping it around him and hugging him tightly. “That’s my fault. I’m terrified that I’m going to hurt you because I don’t love you in the way I think you want me to. But I hurt you anyway and… I suppose I’d rather I hurt you because of the truth, Spike. And the truth is that you are an absolute gem—so gentle and kind. Loving, thoughtful, and sometimes wiser than a little thing of your age ought to be. The truth is…” Her eyes glistened and her voice wavered once more. “The truth is that being adored by such a wonderful friend is more than a pony like me has any right to expect. I did all this for you, Spike: the ceremony, the title, the party. Everything, all for you, because I love you, and I need you to know that, even if it hurts.”

Her friends watched from across the room. Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie leant against each other, lips trembling, while Rainbow Dash stuck her tongue out, mock-retching. Twilight still huddled under Celestia’s wing, but a small smile now adorned her face, and Applejack’s eyes were bright and wide. Rarity smiled at them until Spike fidgeted and mumbled.

“What was that?” she said.

“I’m just a kid.” The words were barely audible. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to say.”

“It’s not on you to say anything, buddy. You have all the time in the world.” Vindicator stood up and flexed his wings. “There’s plenty of eyes on you already so I’ll leave you to it. Spike, promise me you’ll say goodbye to all the lads before you go? I know Vanilla’s going to be stoked to see you again.”

Rarity felt Spike nod, then nestle back against her coat. His claws gripped her firmly, but the rest of his body relaxed as a deep sigh emanated from him. Vindicator took off, and as Rarity’s eyes followed him, she registered the attention of at least half the room. Over a hundred ponies stared at them, including Luna and Thunderer up on the balcony.

She smiled.

To Tartaurus with them.

“I can’t take any of it back. I know that. I hurt you, but I promise I’ll make it up to you somehow.” She gave him a long, gentle kiss atop his head, then draped her neck over his shoulder and squeezed him again. “I love you, my special little guardian.”

The two stood in silence for several minutes, occasionally squeezing or making themselves comfortable. Eventually, Spike’s claws gripped her coat tightly again. She felt the heat rise in his face as pressed harder into her.

“What is it, Spike?” She rubbed his back gently and smoothed his spines. “Please tell me.”

“It hurt,” he replied, his voice stretched thin and followed by a sniff. His jaw clenched together and arms squeezed her with all the strength they had. “Don’t leave me… please…” His tears soaked into her coat, and hers splashed onto his back as they rocked back and forth.

“I’m not going anywhere,” she whispered. “I promise.”

( III )

Dear Princess Luna,

You told Twilight to write down how she really felt about me. She still hasn’t figured out what to say, but her efforts say more than words ever could. I hope these words can do as much for you.

You have a strength I’ve never known before. When you love, you are kind and gentle and affectionate so that others might know that they are loved. When you are happy, you laugh and tease and joke so that others might share your joy. When you are sad, you weep and hug and share your sorrow so that those worthy of you might know the joy of supporting you. When you have been wronged, you shout and stomp and rage so that others might see that they have wronged you. And when there is nothing left but to fight, you are power and wrath incarnate so that ponies might see what it means to be all these things at once.

You live each moment with an intensity I find intoxicating, but it hurts you not to be accepted as the pony I have come to admire.

I made the mistake of thinking that you were lucky to have such wonderful guards around you. Now I realise that they are lucky for having someone that allows them to fulfil their potential. They guide you, limit you, correct you, even challenge you, but they always understand and support you, too. They always know that their support is appreciated and valued. It takes a special kind of pony live that life and you are worthy of them, as they are worthy of you.

Thunderer said that children see themselves reflected in us, but I wonder. I saw myself reflected in Spike, too, and that reflection was ugly. I hurt a small, defenceless boy because I was afraid. Like you, I will be atoning for that mistake for a long time. But it also makes me wonder what you were reflecting when you became Nightmare Moon, because the Luna I saw in Stormcloud is the same one I am proud to know today.

I know that you have one challenge left to face. Please speak to Celestia. Tell her how you feel. Tell her how it hurts. Tell her how she can make it right. I say this because you deserve to be loved, and there is nopony in a better position to truly love and understand you than she.

You inspire me, Luna. I will always love you for that.

R

P.S. I have sent along the cutest little boots for Blessing. I just couldn’t help myself!

( III )

Three Weeks After:

“Rarity! You’re not even watching!”

Rainbow Dash landed roughly on the hilltop. She walked towards the unicorn, but Rarity’s attention was firmly in her navel, or another dimension, or wherever else a unicorn’s attention goes when they’re spaced out.

Oh no. There she goes again.

“Rarity?” she said, her voice dropping to a concerned whisper.

It was like flicking a switch.

“Oh! Rainbow Dash! I was supposed to be watching you practice. I’m so sorry—”

“It’s okay,” Dash replied, noting the shimmer of Rarity’s eyes. “I’m just worried. It’s been three weeks and you still zone out now and then.”

Play it cool, Rainbow Dash. Who knows what might set her off.

She fell back on her haunches, flexing her weary wings as the unicorn sat in silence. After a few moments, Rarity walked up and sat next to her, nestling against her neck.

“Uhh… Rarity?” She held her wing high, just in case it did something weird like wrap around her friend.

“Rainbow Dash, I didn’t tell you how much I admired what you said back in that mountain,” Rarity said softly. “I wanted to tell you how brave you were. I know that wasn’t easy for you, and I’m sorry it took this long for me to say something. I feel a bit silly for not being as courageous as you but…”

Courageous? As me?

“I want you to know much I love you, Rainbow Dash…”

Dash’s wings stiffened. “Wait, what? I mean, err… sure, of course, who doesn’t—”

“Need a little Rainbow ‘Danger’ Dash in their lives?” Rarity giggled softly.

“Uhh… yeah.” Dash leaned away from the unicorn that seemed to be attached to her side.

“Doesn’t it feel so much nicer to have somepony else say it for a change?”

“Heh. Yeah.” Dash’s eyes lit up and she leaned back in. “Yeah! It does. Thanks Rarity, you’re…”

Hold on now. Say too much and you’ll look like some kind of sap.

“You’re… you’re pretty awesome too, y’know?”

A tell-tale sniff signalled that the unicorn was either already crying again, or close to it.

Now look what you’ve done.

“Rarity, I… I…”

“It’s all right, Rainbow Dash. I know you don’t like all this mushy stuff. It’s just... I need it, sometimes. I need all of my friends, and that includes you. So, I do need a little Rainbow Dash in my life, and I don’t want it to go unsaid anymore. I want you to know how much you mean to me. I love all of you, so very, very much.”

Oh my gosh! Rarity needs me? That’s so awesome! But what am I supposed to do? I have no idea what to say! Come on, hold it together—Rainbow Dash does not cry. Big brave pegasus. Big brave pegasus…

She rested her chin atop Rarity’s head. “Gosh, Rarity. I… I mean… thanks, I guess. That means a lot. Really it does. Just… thanks.”

“Well, maybe you might want to consider thanking Twilight, too. After all, she did remember to ask Princess Celestia to recognise how brave you were when you saved Fluttershy.”

“What?” Dash pulled away, looking Rarity in the face until a tear vaguely considered the traitorous act of fleeing her eye. “Ow!” she said, squeezing an eyelid shut. “S-something in my eye... s. Eyes. My other eye, too.” She closed the other eye, now blind to the world save for a faint glow in front of her.

Cracking one lid open again, she saw a large, golden medal on a rainbow strap floating in the air in front of her. It read ‘For unparalleled bravery in the face of terrifying danger, Rainbow ‘Danger’ Dash is hereby recognised as a Real Equestrian Hero’.

Oh my gosh! Hold it together. Hold it together!

The traitorous tear found reinforcements. Dash turned about-face.

“Rainbow Dash? Are you all right? I was expecting a little more… excitement.”

There was nothing for it: it was either sniff, or let a line of snot run down her nose. She sniffed. Rainbow Dash is not some snot-nosed punk. “Rarity, I… y’know, I couldn’t say this if... y’know. You don’t know how much that means to me. You really don’t.”

Rarity pulled alongside her, and Dash looked away for a moment. The medal rose up, slid over her head, and came to rest around her neck.

Look at her when she’s giving you an honest-to-Celestia medal!

“S-sometimes… now and then,” she began, her head drooping, “I feel like I don’t deserve you girls.”

Two white hooves scooped her up and pressed her against a pristine, sweet-smelling coat, and Rarity’s muzzle came to rest atop her head.

“Don’t say that Rainbow Dash,” Rarity said, hugging the pegasus fiercely. “Don’t you ever say that. Everypony deserves to be loved and needed. Everypony. We all love you dearly, Rainbow Dash, please believe me on that.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I know. Just… sometimes, y’know?” Dash sniffed quietly, relaxing into her friend’s embrace.

“I know,” Rarity answered, giving an extra squeeze.

“I… I love you too, Rarity.”

“I won’t tell a soul. I promise.”

THE END

Thank you for reading!

Comments

[Meridian Prime]

Bravo. Simply magnificent.

[Inquisitor M]

3419684 *Whew!* Thanks!

You know, I actually had a rare moment of panic this morning. Had I set the bar too high for the ending? Was anyone actually going to 'get' why this, and not the last chapter, was the ending of Rarity's story? Would people see that this was only the first step of a larger, un-narrated, story? Was Rarity's progression from her moment with Fluttershy to her moment with Rainbow Dash clear enough? Or was I selling my audience short and not employing nearly enough subtlety?

At this point, I can feel comfortable that all those questions are moot. I hope you enjoy Luna's epilogue as much!

-Scott

[Meridian Prime]

3420074
Glad to know I helped ease your fears! I'm sure I'll like the epilogue just as much.
This chapter works perfectly as an ending to Rarity's story - there is always more that can be said for any story, but it doesn't need to be, and you found the perfect way to stop. Ending a story can be a tricky business, but you've pulled it off, as I previously stated, magnificently. I'm looking forward to reading whatever you write next.

[djthomp]

That was a great ending to Rarity's story. I do like how you write her.

[Inquisitor M]

3421832 Everything else aside, Rarity is the character I find most interesting. There are probably plenty of reasons to say that I prefer Fluttershy as a personality, but Rarity is simply a more interesting and intricate character build. It might be fun to actually write up my psychological profile some time so folks can see how I map my characters prior to writing them into a story.

[Kairee]

From what I've been able to tell, there is supposed to be one more part - an epilogue. I've been holding off on reading this until it's posted. However, it's been a very long time since an update. Will the final piece ever be posted?

[Inquisitor M]

4137593 You know what, I have to admit that I'd completely forgotten about the epilogue with other projects on the go. I got stuck on the re-write of one scene and things just got away from me.

Thank you very much for keeping it in mind; I promise I'll get on it now. I don't much like leaving it unfinished, either!