• Member Since 16th Dec, 2015
  • offline last seen March 29th

RedtheDestroyer


I write what I think can work as a great piece of fiction. That's the author way.

Sequels1

Comments ( 73 )

Good start, only some grammar issues.

"That man saved my life just now!"
"That pervert tried to rape me a few days ago!"

Why does everybody have to have a dark past. I feel bad for all the OCs that are forced through mental trauma and other stuff like that.

"Black Ire of the eyes"? Do you mean Iris? Only, that would be wrong. There is the white portion or sclera, the colored portion or iris, and the black portion or pupil.

8432048
I meant to say pupil (since I was talking about the center black in one's eye), but nice catch.

Great story, wish it had longer chapters but hay that's just me. Keep doing your best Man/Girl😁😁😁😁

8469900
O sorry that a usually why I do the whole / thing well anyways keep doing your best man. Good luck on future project's

Warning: This story will have references to other worlds similar to the main show, some gore scenes, and moments of psychopathic behavior.

Another Warning: Some scenes may get extremely violent for some to handle, so I have marked them to make them skipable.

And what about the sex scenes?

Oops, forgot to add that part. Darn. I thought it would be clear since I added the sex tag to it.

Comment posted by Tedious_Blizzard deleted Nov 20th, 2017
Comment posted by RedtheDestroyer deleted Dec 5th, 2017

Hmm I want to know how nightmare is doing :trixieshiftright:

8629014
Glad you asked! The where he came from is complicated. That's why his back story will be explained throughout the story. I don't like to spoil things, sorry Buildingcross.

Ok, my two biggest complaints so far is that you really haven't added anything significant to this story and you have a real bad habit of glazing over things.

What I mean by the first thing is that even though you've added the whole Hades thing, everything else is happening exactly the same way. A way to kinda show that is the fact that you can glaze over a lot of things. As of this far in the story, you might as well have just written a story for shadow without him interacting with the rest of the main 6. Things would turn out the same. This is a huge issue because the fact that nothing has really changed other than a new character being there, it's not interesting. Fanfictions are what-if scenarios. The big question you should have in mind when writing every chapter of this is "What would happen differently if Shadow was there?" If the answer doesn't involve any major changes to any plot points, you haven't done enough.

8663066
I appreciate the post screamindivr! I'll definitely keep that in mind next chapter.

8663112
No problem. And you don't need to have something drastic happen every chapter. You just need to keep in mind that having someone else there is going to change things. It's why fanfictions are so fun to read. Because you get to see all of the what-if scenarios.

Comment posted by RedtheDestroyer deleted Jan 20th, 2018

8689518
Thank you for your comment, Rundown. It's nice to know someone is enjoying my work. :twilightsmile:

Jeez, this guy's use of words is almost as bad as Goku's from DBZ Abridged

Her Magic cant touch him because their magics are polar opposites

8748404
I would expect it in the month of March, but if I can, I'll get it done earlier.

Wait, so they were blaming him for his own nightmare moon? And why didn't he go off with that point? Why the fuck are they acting that way? Wtf?! I would've gone all the way off on them! Bullshit! Elements of Harmony my ass end!!

Everything had just taken longer now thanks to the black stallion's interference once again. Healing Nightmare Moon like that was probably just a fluke. I highly doubt he will be able to escape from the Blood Claw's best assassin. The satisfaction of his death made me smile sinisterly in anticipation.

And this, my friends, is counting your chicks before they hatch.

"How is thee fair Shadow?" Luna asked.

"How dost thee fare, Shadow?"

Eh, he'll survive. I'm sure he has had a multitude of bullet wounds.

9625791
Ah ha! Somebody found it! Basically, it has to do with the curse he bares. They don't normally act like that, but due to his curse many would hate him just because of what he is. Shadow got used to the hate over the years and holds himself back mostly for their sake. You'll see why if you continue reading.

9625832
Thanks Gizmo, I'm not the best at older english, so I didn't notice the difference. Thank you for your input. :twilightsmile:

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