After the events of the Equestria National Dessert Competition, the mane six are getting back to business as usual...except Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy forgot something. And the Cakes are very quick to remind them.
Commission by Alexwarlorn , set in the aftermath of MMMystery on the Friendship Express.
My Little Pony belongs to Hasbro!
Note: I KNOW this isn't my usual type of story. If my regular audience is not fond of this, I'm fine with that, but I did try to write it in a way that fit my usual style.
Credit to 404compliant for the cover art!
Chapters (1)
When are you going to get back to the diamond tiara fic?
8375394
I intend to, I'm just swamped with commissions.
8375394
What does that have to do with the story? Like at all? You could have PM'ed that, or asked on his user page.
8375420
Ok then.
8375394
So what do you think about THIS story? The one your comment is in? Doesn't this comment belong in the one about Diamond Tiara?
8378734
I just need to ask him something and I thought the best way to do that would be to the first to comment on new story.But I do intend to read the story later.
8379345
That's what Private Messages are for.
8380233
Ok.
It's very well-written, especially Fluttershy hiding in that chest but I struggle with the premise.
Even their nicest cake with the fanciest of ingredients shouldn't have cost the Cakes as much as three months of labor. Additionally, they had at least a decent chance of losing the competition against 3 formidable competitors, but thanks to Rarity, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy they won. The Cakes should have taken that into account.
8381483
From the episode.
8382319 Sure, it took months of planning and testing, but they didn't close the bakery down and work full time on this did they? It was a project the Cakes worked on while also running their businesses, so it seems a little harsh of them to ask the three girls to work full time for them for an equivalent period of time. And assuming they made dozens of practice cakes (which I think they must have from all that testing), do you think they threw those cakes out or sold them to customers?
8382644
You're missing the point.
The girls apologized to PINKIE PIE. And SHE FORGAVE THEM! As if it was HER CAKE that was eaten!
8382658 That... is a fair point. Pinkie takes a fair amount of liberties with the Cakes (I suspect she didn't get their permission before building a 'party cave' below their basement.) And while the girls apologized to Pinkie, they never did apologize to the Cakes, nor tried to make it up to them in a proper manner. They definitely owed some restitution to the Cake family for their actions.
I just feel like the Cakes, who are obviously a very kind and understanding couple (again, see Pinkie), would be a little more forgiving than making all three of them work for a month. Part of it is the difference in their ages. Mrs. Cake at least is near the same age as the mother of one of their friends, and has seen Rarity grow up from a foal as young as her new babies to the mare she is today. I loved seeing the Cakes put those three to work for a day to teach them a lesson, I was just sure at the end of that day they would forgive the youthful impulsiveness of the girls, bring them in for a hug, and maybe even make another Mascarpone cake for everyone to share.
8382783
The moral of the story is that there are some consequences that we can't just make go away with an apology, no matter how sincere.
8382832 We'll have to agree to disagree then, I think that in MLP a sincere apology, remorse and restitution can always fix things.
8375394
There. New chapter of a completely unrelated story posted. Now can you give your opinion about this one?
This is a good story.
Also, good catch on how long the Cakes had been working on the cake. I didn't notice that line from the episode until I read the comments.
8382783
I agree with you on that, it felt a little too cold, like the Cakes had no close feelings for them at all.
I also did not enjoy the Zecora thing, that seemed rather unfunny and like kicking Rarity when she was already down. This story makes a good point that I wish was brought up more, but I feel it gets way too impersonal and harsh for the characters involved (though I doubt that was the intention
) to come off as genuinely reasonable, downvote
8910636
So how would you fix things?
8924322
Remove the Zecora part entirely, though a more reasonable moment where she runs into Rarity and gives her encouragement when she falters at getting dirty wouldn't be out of the question. Also, make the Cakes firm with the Mane 6, and definitely chew them out a bit for how childish they acted, but have their expressions and tone convey disappointment as much as anger, with perhaps a bit of confusion to drive the point home how out of character it really was of them. Then, at the end, have them explain calmly to the Mane 6 that they've done a good job, or at least a passable one, but that they still have a lot more work to do later, have the Mane 6 be sad and horrified when they realize how badly they've screwed up, apologizing profusely (and likely crying). To end, the Cakes give a comforting hug and words to them, "You may have made a mistake but nothing that can't be fixed," or something to that effect... and perhaps what howard035 said and have the Cakes make a dessert to share as friends (though I wouldn't have it be the same type of cake as they ate, that would be a bit too far in my book).
Wish this kind of punishment existed in reality. Loved this fic.
1. Carrot cake is yellow not orange.
2. What is  ?
Much better than that one fic that has the Cakes acting hammier than Jim Carrey and is supposed to tie in to a lengthier fic where Raven is acting like a complete jackass.
11228557
That thing with Raven is literally nothing but a role-playing... thing he and another user have going on with Raven and Smolder of all characters turned into stories.