AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
The weather was nice. Too nice, in fact. It was so nice that not only was every pony content, they were bored. They were bored of this perfect weather day in and day out, but the monotony of it had slowly snuck up on them. Insidiously, it had become routine. So, routine, in fact, that nopony could remember any weather aside from the weather they currently had, yet they were cursed with the knowledge that the state of outside is what fed the overwhelming feeling of ennui instilled in every stallion, mare, and foal.
They had come to understand that this was simply the downside of being ponies. That the weather was never, ever a surprise as it was planned weeks, if not months in advance. Discussing the weather was akin to starting a conversation about an interesting set of definitions a pony had come across while reading the Oxenford Dictionary.
Speaking of the weather was rarely done by those who couldn’t control it. Those who didn’t control the weather, yet spoke of it where usually terribly, terribly boring. However, the unchanging nature of the weather itself was starting to turn everypony into the most boring of ponies. Thus, the ponies found themselves trapped in a catch 22 situation as it were, and while society norms had their place, this particular norm was starting to become so normal that it was infecting the populace with a dreaded normality of which there might be no cure if the status quo wasn’t shaken up.
Everypony agreed something must be done, but nopony knew what. Some suggested they not look upwards, but downwards, and start a new life underground away from the daily fetters of ‘daytime’ and nighttime, as extreme as that might be. One pegasus suggested that perhaps they could slowly change the weather. Perhaps, they could move a single cloud. Perhaps, in time, they could move enough clouds to create enough of a pressure change that perhaps a light breeze could be introduced and-
Twilight Sparkle looked up from the scroll, her friendship student, or perhaps ‘ex’-friendship student looking at her with sparkling dark plum-colored eyes. The sort of eyes that had steeled themselves for the worst, but were still hoping to be greeted with praise.
Twilight sighed, noting the sparkle in Starlight Glimmer’s eyes dulled somewhat. “First off… You’re not supposed to start stories with the weather.”
“But it’s important to the story!” Starlight whined.
“Okay, but it’s an overused trope and ponies might preemptively disregard your story as cliché and abandon it.”
“I’m not writing based on what tropes ponies think are over or underused, Twilight! I’m writing because the weather is boring!”
“Speaking of boring, you used the word ‘perhaps’ about three times in the same paragraph,” Twilight said.
“Twilight, the words of the story are not nearly as important as what’s written between the words!” Starlight gave Twilight a long, serious stare. “I’m talking about subtext, Twilight.”
“Okay, yes. I get it.” Twilight replied as her eyes took a trip around her orbital sockets. “This is because the calm weather makes it hard to fly kites, isn’t it?”
“What?! No! Scoff! Pshaw!”
“… You do know those are supposed to be sounds ponies make and not actual words they say when they disagree, right?”
“Oh, totally!” Starlight said as she put on one of her smiles that was just a tad too symmetrical to be real.
A gray pony with a straight purple mane and tail, field green eyes, wearing a steel blue dress and purple eye shadow casually trotted into the study area, asking in a monotone, “Did you ask Twilight about the weather so we can fly kites yet?”
Her smile somehow becoming more perfectly symmetrical, Starlight’s eyes drifted towards the grey pony, the barest hints of nervousness creating a small chop in the otherwise unnervingly calm expression of Starlight's face. “Shhh… Not now, Maud.”
Maud simply nodded. “I’ll check back later,” she said as she turned and headed outside.
Twilight gave Starlight an unamused expression.
“Okay, so it’s kinda about flying kites!” Starlight admitted. “But you didn’t even finish the story!”
Twilight sighed. She was never one to leave a story unread, even one not so terribly great and perhaps flawed as the one presented to her. She returned her attention to the scroll where Starlight’s extraordinarily tidy, somewhat blocky, and dare she say, ‘brutalist’ penmanship met her eyes, took them by the preverbal hand, and continued them on the journey they weren’t sure they wanted to have.
-finally, a change in weather would mean a change in life. Sure, it would be new, and somewhat scary, but perhaps it was worth the risk. In fact, this brave pegasus knew it was worth the risk!
Some called this lone pegasus a visionary, perhaps even a hero for being brave enough to suggest such a different approach to weather. Others called him a traitor to the one true weather plan and branded him a heretic, condemning this pegasus and his words to the worst possible fate: Exile…
…Exile by hanging!
Twilight’s eyebrows knit together as her lips pursed and her nose wrinkled, her entire face basically reacting to the confusion that she now felt. “Wait… so was the pegasus exiled or hanged?”
“Is that really important, Twilight?”
“Uh… It seems somewhat integral to the story, so…”
“What’s important is that the story makes you feel something, Twilight!” Starlight insisted.
“Mostly, I feel confusion.”
“Don’t you feel sad for the pegasus?”
“… Maybe I would if she or he had a backstory… or even a name? What color is the pegasus?”
“She/he was Hangexiled for the crime of speaking up about the weather, Twilight! Doesn’t that make you feel sad? Or Mad? OR some combination of emotions that makes you want to let one of your best friends cast a tiny weather spell?”
Twilight let out a sigh. “No,” she said sternly.
“Er… ‘No’ it doesn’t make you feel any of those things or ‘No’ to letting one of your best friends cast a tiny weather spell?”
“Yes.”
“Er… Yes to… uh…”
“Yes to both, Starlight!”
“Oh, good!” Starlight said with a smile. “So I’ll just go out and—”
“No!” Twilight commanded.
Starlight groaned. “Okay, this would be a lot easier if you stopped changing your mind!”
“Starlight! I’m sorry that today’s weather didn’t include plans for you to fly kites! Just … float the kites with your magic, or something.”
It was Starlight’s turn to give Twilight an unamused expression. Putting on a smile that wasn’t too symmetrical but was clearly fake all the same, Starlight took the scroll Twilight was reading in an electric blue glow and began running around as she floated it about a pony’s length above her. “Oh, wheeeeeeee,” she said unconvincingly as she trotted about. “Look how much fun this is!”
Twilight sighed. “Starlight…”
“Shhh… Fun times, now,” Starlight replied.
“Starlight!”
“Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee!” Starlight shouted as her face began to twist in frustration and anger.
“Starlight!” Twilight snapped as she snatched the bit of parchment out of the air with her own magic. “Find something else to do like…” Twilight floated the story in front of her. “Like maybe fleshing out some characters a bit? I mean… this isn’t even a story… it’s barely a prologue!”
Starlight let out an irritated growl and tossed the scroll into a rather pretty, golden-trimmed waste receptacle. “Fine! Forget the story!”
Twilight frowned slightly and looked at the scroll. “But it had so much potential!”
“I… Twilight, I’ll level with you… The story really was just to get you to let me introduce a little wind into the day for kite flying. It was obviously a bad idea and there’s no reason to bring it up again.”
Twilight pursed her lips and glanced at the waste basket. “Well… I mean… You only had a skeletal framework of an idea, but if we flush it out a bit—”
“Just forget the stupid story!” Starlight exclaimed. She puffed out her lower lips in a pout and let out a whimper as her eyes became watery. “Instead think of all the other ponies you’d be disappointing!”
“… Like who?”
Starlight frowned. “No pony filed in behind me?”
Twilight shook her head. “It’s just you and me, still.”
“Oh…” Starlight turned and glared at the open door to the study. “I said, “think of all the other ponies you’d be disappointing!”
Maud trotted back in, a dark blue diamond shaped kite balancing on her back. She was followed by Trixie who held a purple kite, with a yellow and blue star pattern, in her own lilac magic aura. Lastly, Spike marched in, dragging a purple kite with a tail of green ribbons on the floor.
Twilight looked over the expressions of the ponies and one dragon she’d be disappointing. Maud’s expression was impossible to read, of course. Trixie looked to be bored, but seemingly only from being dragged into the room, not so much from the absence of kite flying. Spike… Spike had the dejected look of one who had an epiphany that his existence was meaningless and nothing he did mattered.
“… Well! Go on!” Starlight said.
Trixie was the first to speak up, opening her plodding salvo of words with a tired sigh. “Oh, Twilight. “ she began in a bored and rehearsed tone. “Why must you be so cruel? Is it that you hate kites? Or joy? What terrible thing happened to you, Twilight, that your once vibrant and beaut…” Trixie just rolled her eyes and trailed off.
Maud’s head tilted if ever so slightly. “Your line is ‘beautiful nature has been dulled much like the unchanging weather’,” she informed.
“I know,” Trixie replied, “I just didn’t feel like saying it.”
Starlight let out a small growl.
Maud piped up in her typical monotone, “Twilight, I know you aren’t much for kite flying, but I’m excited by the prospect of spending time with my friends.”
“See, Twilight!” Starlight said as she motioned towards Maud. “Can’t you just see how much this means to Maud?!”
“… No… I really can’t,” Twilight said.
“Okay, I mean… No pony can realistically blame you for that,” Starlight said, her forehooves once again jutted out towards someone else in the line. “But look at Spike! Look at how his dreams have been crushed by the news we wouldn’t be flying kites!”
“My dreams were crushed before I got out of bed this morning,” Spike said. “Hope pretty much died for me Saturday.”
Twilight let out a sigh. “Spike, are you still upset about the Friendship Journal? Because I said I was sor—”
“Get BENT, Sparkles!” Spike snarled.
“... And, okay… yes… still upset…” She shifted her gaze to Starlight. “Look Starlight, I know you really want to fly your kites and that by not getting to fly them that you, some of my friends, and also Trixie will be disappointed.”
Spike spoke up. “Really, this just sounded better than staying in my room and hating literally everything.”
“I’m just here as a favor to Starlight,” Trixie said.
“I’m actually invested in this,” Maud said.
“Er… okay… so I guess I’m disappointing you,” Twilight said to Starlight, “and, er… Maud? Maybe? Anyhow, I can’t just let you go playing around with the weather because you decided it didn’t fit your whims for the day!”
Starlight raised her forehooves dramatically in front of her. “But… but… kiiiiiiiiiiites…! Also, you’re totally welcome to come with us!”
“Oh, really?” Twilight said in interest.
“What?!” Trixie exclaimed. “Trixie didn’t agree to this!”
Spike narrowed his eyes and let out an angry hiss, flicking out his forked tongue.
“The more the merrier,” Maud said.
Starlight turned to glare at her compatriots as Twilight frowned slightly. “You know… I think I’ll pass.” She gave Starlight a stern look. “And that means you’ll have to find something else to do as well.”
“Oh, come on, Twilight!” Starlight cried. “You can let me do this one little thing! Pleeease!”
“No, Starlight!” Twilight exclaimed. “You’re not a little filly. You’re a full-grown mare! You’re all adults… uh… except for Spike… maybe… I mean… it’s still unclear, but anyhow, you’re all capable of figuring something else to do and I’m not going to be made to feel guilty just because there’s one thing the weather precludes you from doing today!”
“But… but… you can just make a royal decree allowing me to make a little wind!”
“No!” Twilight insisted. “I don’t want Rainbow Dash or any of the other weather ponies angry because you threw off their schedule for the next few weeks by messing with terrestrial weather patterns! Furthermore, I better not catch you deciding to mess with them just because you want to fly kites!”
“Okay, but I really want to fly kites!”
“No, Starlight!” Twilight exclaimed. With a magenta glow of her horn, the scroll in the waste basket was lifted out and floated over to her. “Now if you’ll all excuse me, I have someone’s half-baked and discarded idea to turn into a full story!” she declared as she trotted out of the room.
“… Typical,” Starlight uttered.
Trixie spoke up, “This is what ponies mean when they say it’s easier to ask forgiveness than ask permission, just to let you know.”
Starlight scowled at Trixie. “Do you ever wonder why Twilight never asked you to be her personal friendship student?”
“No,” Trixie replied. “Not ever.”
Starlight sighed. “Just asking…”
The warm Ponyville sun cast its pleasant rays in the direction of Starlight and her accompanying friends as they walked down a cobblestone walkway and Starlight silently cursed the warm and pleasant weather for being so warm and pleasant and for also being so completely pedestrian. Despite being told by Twilight under no circumstances would Starlight be allowed to change the weather for the benefit of kite flying, Starlight still carried her kite with her, as did the trio of others with her. Starlight chose to think of this as a sign the group was still set on flying kites and not at all because she insisted they all hold onto their kites ‘just in case’.
“We can do things besides fly kites,” Maud suggested. “We can go back to my grotto and look for semi-precious stones or even have a nice lunch together.”
Trixie rolled her eyes. “And then we can hang out under the sky all day and wait until it gets dark to start a campfire and sing songs about friendship in how a change of plans doesn’t mean we can’t have a good time!”
Maud nodded. “If we’re together, I’m sure we’ll have a good time.”
Spike paused for a moment then let out a laugh, this was met with a snort from Trixie before she also broke out into a case of the giggles.
“Hah! Good one!” Spike exclaimed. “Now that’s how you do sarcasm!”
“That was almost as bad as what Twilight would say!” Trixie exclaimed.
The corners of Maud’s lip fell so slightly one would need a microscope to detect any change. “Right. Sarcasm.”
“UGH!” Starlight exclaimed.
“I’m sorry, Starlight,” Trixie said, dropping her eyelids slightly. “Are you annoyed because everypony stopped paying attention to you for all of thirty seconds?”
“Pot call the kettle much?” Spike quipped.
“… Trixie retracts her previous statement.”
“Just…” Starlight threw her forehooves up in the air. “I’m sure we can do something about the lack of wind!” With an electric glow, she picked the kite off her back and gently placed it against a tree. Sitting on her haunches, Starlight tapped her cheek a few times with a forehoof as she put on a contemplative look. “Think, Starlight think... There’s got to be some solution here to deal with the boring Ponyville weather so I’m not perpetually unable to indulge in my favorite hobby!”
Trixie raised a forehoof. “I thought your favorite hobby was bending reality to your whims!”
“That’s not a hobby!” Starlight insisted. “That’s more… incidental in achieving my goals, usually…” Starlight narrowed her eyes at Trixie. “Plus, that doesn’t help me.”
Trixie smirked. “Oh, I actually had a suggestion that thought just popped into my head after I raised my hoof.”
“Fine, let’s hear it…”
“… I just said it,” Trixie said, frowning slightly. “Did you… did you just forget the part about bending reality?”
“No! Not that! Your suggestion!” Starlight said in an irritable tone.
“Oh…” Trixie smiled. “Well, you see I sometimes use a big fan as part of my performances and I thought—”
“Oh, sure! Big fan!” Starlight said. “So instead of real wind, we can use fake wind! And instead of paper we can use nylon!” Starlight’s teeth clamped down angrily. “AND INSTEAD OF STRING WE CAN JUST SPOOL UP ALL THESE BROKEN THREADS THAT ONCE WERE MY DREAMS AND KNOT THEM TOGETHER!”
Trixie gave Starlight an irritated look. “See, this is exactly why I wasn’t excited about kite flying today!”
Spike threw his claws into the air. “Well, if you want wind so much Starlight, how about you just stand on a hill and bitch about the wind! That’d certainly supply us all with enough hot air!”
Everyone turned to stare at Spike.
Spike sighed. “Sorry, just… Kinda having a bad… week.”
Starlight thought for a moment. “You know… That’s not a horrible suggestion, but it might be hard for me to simultaneously complain about the lack of wind while supplying my own wind…”
“Starlight,” Trixie began, “as your friend I feel I should point out you might have a problem…”
“I’ll say!” Starlight said as she used her magic to float her kite in front of her face. “This boring Ponyville day is making it impossible to fly kites!” she concluded as she released the kite from her magic where it unceremoniously fell to the ground. “Yeah… not working.”
“... Well, Trixie tried,” Trixie lamented.
“… We really can do something else,” Maud said.
“Stop your endless nattering, Maud!” Starlight demanded.
Spike couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow. “And I thought I was in a mood today…”
“So Twilight said I couldn’t mess with the weather and it’s already set by the pegasi, but maybe we can get somepony else to change it like… what about Discord?”
Trixie and Spike cringed and if one was paying particularly close attention to Maud, they may have noticed a couple hairs stand on end.
Spike spoke up, “Discord can be fun to include in stuff like this, but there’s a somewhat strong possibility he’d make things worse… You kinda roll the dice with him, and they’re dice that he’s supplying.” Spike frowned. “Often they’re his eyes… usually his eyes… and they almost always roll snake eyes…” Spike’s emerald eyes suddenly seemed to go for a jog to a place far, far away from the rest of him. “Real snake eyes that create snakes… With eyes…. that create more snakes… And this just keeps happening. It’s like being caught in a flood but with a lot more writhing.”
Trixie chimed in. “He’d turn all the calm air into tornados and then fill those tornados with bees and make the bees cover everything in sticky honey! Is that what you want, Starlight?! Do you want to invite the chaos of delicious, but sticky and stinging tornados?!”
A high-pitched voice called out to the group. “Also, ‘worst episode ever!’”
“Uh… Hey, Pinkie,” Starlight greeted as she turned to look down the path. “Didn’t see you there…”
“OH! That’s because I wasn’t here until a second ago when I decided you all needed even more meta commentary! Also, hi Maud!”
“Hello, Pinkie,” Maud greeted.
“Hey, Trixie! Hey, Starlight!”
“Uh… Hi, Pinkie,” Starlight replied.
“Yes. Hi,” Trixie said simply.
“Spike, are you still mad about—”
“CHOKE ON A ROCK AND DIE, PARTY HORSE!”
Pinkie’s ears dropped and she let out a whimper. “Right… I’ll just go back to making ‘I’m sorry’ gem cakes, then…” she said dejectedly as she slowly trotted away. “Good thing I have that stamp,” she mumbled.
Spike grumbled to himself, folding his arms in front of him as he turned away from Pinkie. After a few moments, he took note that Trixie was staring at him with a raised eyebrow as Maud simply had refocused her field-green eyes on him.
“What?!” Spike protested. “Hey, I actually wrote in that journal! Did anypony ask what Spike thought about releasing it?! NoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO~!” he warbled irritably. “I mean… I guess the Tree of Harmony just decided I deserved my own chair because I would feel left out otherwise? I only saved the Crystal Empire twice and helped save a couple worlds here and there! No biggie!” he said in a tone that would lead one to believe that it was, perhaps, ‘a biggie’. Spike thrust a thumb claw behind him in the direction of Starlight. “Frickin’ Starlight got asked her opinion, and she hadn’t even heard of the journal!” He threw his claws in the air. “She doesn’t even have a chair!” Shaking his head, he added, “Would it have killed Twilight or any pony to hang out with me instead of Starlight for like… a minute?!”
Maud simply stood unblinking.
Trixie looked at Spike, looked at Maud, then let out an exasperated sigh realizing she’d have to say something in this case. “Spike, while I can totally relate to feeling left out, I think you’re being a little hard on Starlight.”
Spike rolled his eyes. “She doesn’t even care!” Spike said. “In fact, she hasn’t listened to a word I said since she’s so busy figuring out this stupid kite thing, because, yeah… that’s a real problem!”
“I got it!” Starlight exclaimed. “I knew how we can get wind!”
“See?” Spike said rotating slightly to motion towards Starlight.
Starlight continued. “Okay, so Twilight said I couldn’t mess with the terrestrial weather, but what if we go further out. You know… past Equestria and then have the weather sent here!”
Spike frowned. “Do you guys remember a time before you feared for the fate of the planet on a daily basis?”
Starlight pointed triumphantly at the sun. “We can use celestial weather! Solar winds to fly our kites!”
“Okay, just me then?” Spike said. “You know, it’s fine. I think I’m ready for it all to end anyhow.”
Starlight smiled. “All I need is to get the sun to send a little solar wind this way!”
“I also don’t think that word means what Starlight thinks it means,” Spike said, “but, whatever… I’m pretty much fireproof. Good luck everypony.”
Trixie turned and looked at Maud, who simply stood unwavering save for her attention having shifted to Starlight. Trixie frowned heavily. “Starlight? Maybe you should rethink this…”
Starlight glanced up at the sun, smiling madly even as the brightness stung her retinas.
“Starlight,” Trixie continued, “this is me suggesting you’re going too far.”
Starlight’s horn began to glow electric blue.
“Trixie, the goose-bumpy and perturbed Trixie is suggesting somepony has gone too far and needs to reel it in! Sweet Celestia! Please listen to Trixie before I end up being boiled by my own juices! WHY DOES TRIXIE HAVE TO BE THE VOICE OF REASON TODAY?!”
A bolt of energy fired off from Starlight’s horn, flying higher and higher into the sky as did Starlight’s slightly unhinged laughter. Trixie looked on, clearly terrified as everything under the sun was suddenly awash in the bright-blue glow of Starlight’s magic. Ponies came out of their houses to glance upwards. Alarmed cries filled the air. Spike stared upwards with a ‘please just get this over with’ expression while Maud simply looked onwards.
With a blinding blast that was even brighter than the sun, the color of the world returned to normal and the warmth resumed.
Her eyes closed and covered with a forehoof, Starlight cringed. “Did it work?!” she asked. “It feels like it didn’t work.”
“Well… something happened…” Spike said. “And it wasn’t the complete annihilation of all life of all non-fireproof life, so I guess that’s a plus for most of us.”
“What…” Starlight removed her foreleg and opened her eyes. “What? Everything’s kinda blurry… I think my eyes are re-adjusting. Trixie?”
“The Grrrrrrreat and Powerful Trixie isn’t here right now,” Trixie answered. “But if you’d like to schedule a show, please—”
“Oh, for Celestia’s sake… Maud!?”
“The sun now has a face,” Maud answered.
Starlight risked a glance upwards. “What?! Ow!” With another glow of her horn, Starlight poofed four sets of sunglasses into existence out of seemingly nowhere and distributed them amongst the ponies and single dragon present, Trixie looking up with her mouth agape. She looked up to see the sun staring down. Wide-eyed, but otherwise with a non-descript expression on its mouth which was also a thing the sun now had.
“Okay, well that’s unexpected,” Starlight said. “Maybe I can ask the sun to blow some air our way with that mouth.”
“You know,” Spike began, “you’d think life with Twilight and Starlight would prepare me to deal with hearing sentences like that, but not so much…”
Trixie turned and glared at Starlight. “… How is the sun blowing air at us different from a big fan?!”
“Or Starlight complaining?” Maud paused.
“Hah! Zing!” Trixie exclaimed as she and Maud exchanged a quick hoof bump.
“Glad everypony has their priorities straight,” Spike grumbled.
Starlight rolled her eyes. “Oh, sure. You pick now to regain your senses.” She stared up into the sun. “Hey! You! The sun!” she shouted, her voice echoing through the oddly silent streets of Ponyville despite the fact that every cobblestone path and window now seemed to sport a pony curiously looking upwards. “Could you maybe send some air down here?! You know, open that mouth of yours and blow some wind our way? Get a breeze goin—”
The sun opened its mouth wide.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!”
Everypony covered their ears, many retreating to the safety of their homes as the sun let loose a scream that filled the air, filled their craniums, and filled almost everything with tremble inducing vibration that set their teeth on edge.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!”
“This isn’t what I meant!” Starlight shouted as she covered her ears.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!”
Spike and Trixie likewise blocked their ears as Maud stoically stood in place and quietly dealt with the fact that now her mere existence was pain and she desperately wanted things to go back to normal or to end, the scream suddenly giving her a bit of insight into Spike’s current ‘black mood’.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!”
“MaHaHaHake it stop!” Spike cried.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!”
“I’m thinking! I’m thinking!” Starlight exclaimed.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!”
“Well think FASTER!” Trixie exclaimed.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!”
“It’s not easy to think of a spell with all this YELLING at me, okay!”
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!”
“Trixie is quite certain her own screaming is just a drop in the ocean at this point!”
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!”
“How’d you put a face on the sun in the first place?!” Spike cried.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!”
“I don’t know!” Starlight exclaimed. “That’s not what I was trying to do!”
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!”
“Who cares about that?!” Trixie cried. “Just make it go away!”
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!”
“Give me a break!” Starlight shot back. “Believe me, I REALLY want to figure this out before Twilight comes strolling up and grills me about using magic responsibly again!”
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!”
“Why is it screaming, anyhow?!” Trixie cried.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!”
“Maybe it realizes it’s on fire,” Maud suggested.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!”
“Or maybe it’s REALLY mad at Starlight Glimmer!” a mare’s voice suggested.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!”
Starlight’s forehead tightened. “That doesn’t-Oh, HI, Twilight! We were just talking about you! Er… So how about this crazy weather, huh?” she asked as she dismissed the sunglasses with another glow of her horn.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!”
Her brow knit to the point where eyebrows had practically become a unibrow, Twilight’s horn glowed magenta and she enclosed Starlight in the other pony’s present in a dome the blocked out the sound of the screaming sun…
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
…mostly.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
“Welp…” Spike mused. “It’s better than nothing…”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
“Starlight…” Twilight growled out angrily.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
Starlight swallowed. “Let me explain everything… Trixie did it.”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
“What?!” Trixie cried. “Oh, come on!”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
Twilight turned her angry gaze towards Trixie.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
Trixie shot a glare at Starlight then turned towards Twilight. “Twilight, do you really think I’m capable of this?”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
“Er… Like… morally? Or were you referring to your skills with magic? I mean… because… Well... Morally-”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
Trixie flashed Twilight an unamused expression. “Words hurt, Sparkle.” Trixie sighed. “Search your feelings. You know if I knew how to do this I would have done it years ago to irritate you and flaunt my power over you.”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
Twilight paused and thought for a brief moment before her horn glowed magenta once again and she teleported in a newspaper she used to swat Starlight across the face with.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
“Ow!” Starlight exclaimed as she raised a forehoof to her face.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
“Starlight you disobeyed and lied to me all why trying to get one of your best friends to take the blame! I really thought you had learned something in all the time staying with me… like… maybe not being a duplicitous control freak who uses magic to solve her problems!”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
Starlight puffed out her lower lips. “But… but… kiiiiiiiiiiiiites!” Starlight exclaimed as she waved her forehooves about as if elongating the word and going through such motions would be enough of an explanation.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
Twilight let out a sad sigh. “What is wrong with you today.”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
“It’s okay, Twilight!” Spike said in a chipper attitude. “No pony is perfect and sometimes it takes a while for a lesson to stick!” He shrugged. “And, we all have our off days. Sometimes we forget about those we care about the most when it comes to things we should specifically talk to them about or do.”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
Twilight’s face tightened in confusion. “Er… Where you being serious or sarcastic? Because you sounded like you started serious but then things got oddly specific to our situation and I want to know if you’ve forgiven me or if you’re still ma-”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
“D.I.A.F. Twilight,” Spike added. Narrowing his eyes into a laser beam of a scowl.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
“Right, still angry…” She turned towards Starlight. “Look, I know you really had your heart set on flying kites…”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
Twilight continued, “I mean… it’s kind of painfully apparent to everypony now! All over the planet!” Twilight smiled. “But mistakes happen and there’s no shame in admitting you need help when you get in over your head.”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
“There is shame in lying and blaming your friend, however!” Trixie quipped.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
“Shut up, Trixie,” Twilight uttered.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
“UP YOURS, SPARKLE!” Trixie shouted.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
“Yes! Double up yours, Twilight!” Spike added.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
Twilight sighed and placed a forehoof on Starlight’s shoulder. “Right now we need to put our heads together to fix this!”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
Starlight smiled. “Okay, Twilight… You know… I think I learned in important—”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
Twilight raised a forehoof to Starlight’s mouth. “Friendship lesson later. I can somehow still feel the screaming in my magic and my horn and forehead are like migraine city right now. Let’s fix this before…” Twilight trailed off and glanced upwards as the magenta dome around everypony suddenly took on a yellowish hue and there was a ‘Tap, tap, tap’ coming from the other side.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
Everyone turned and looked to see Celestia standing outside Twilight’s barrier, the lilac eyes of the white alicorn seemingly trying to bring Twilight’s shield down via disintegration.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
“… Before THAT happens!” Twilight sighed out as she took down her own barrier, Celestia’s larger canary yellow barrier now serving to buffer the constant screaming.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
Celestia looked over the pony’s present. “Hello, Twilight, Starlight, Spike, Miss Lulamoon, uh...”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
“Maud Pie,” Maud replied simply. “I’m Pinkie’s sister. I attended the Grand Galloping Gala that time Discord invited a slime monster.”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
Celestia nodded. “Right, right. I apologize for not recognizing you earlier. I must have forgotten because of all the aforementioned slime.”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
“So, speaking of an all encompassing, unwanted substance that fills every nook and cranny it’s exposed to…” Celestia began in an uncharacteristic coldness before letting what would normally be dead air fill the dome.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
Celestia continued, “... I couldn’t help but notice the big beam of magic that flew out from Ponyville and hit the sun.”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
“As you might have noticed there has been a slight change to the sun coinciding with this event.”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
“Maybe you haven’t noticed,” Celestia offered. “I mean… I’ve noticed, but I raise and lower it every day so…”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
Celestia sighed as Twilight and the other ponies present looked up at her like a collection of frozen dear enthralled by an oncoming train light. Well… Maud might always look like that. Celestia mused. And Spike somehow just looks even madder than I feel somehow…
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
“Okay… I’m not pointing forelegs,” Celestia began, “but I’m pretty sure somepony here—“
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
“Trixie did it!” Starlight and Twilight said in unison as they pointed in a Trixie Lulamoon direction.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
“WHAT?!” Trixie exclaimed. “Seriously?! What was that friendship nonsense you both were spouting a few minutes ago?!”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
Celestia rolled her eyes and with a yellow flash, two newspapers materialized. One for Twilight’s snout, the other for Starlight’s.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
“OW!” Starlight exclaimed.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
“Ouch!” cried Twilight.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
“As great and powerful of a showmare Trixie is—,” Celestia began.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
“Thank you!” Trixie said, her face lighting up like a brighter, but quieter sun.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
“--she lacks the magical aptitude to do this either on purpose or accident!”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
“Trixie is slightly less excited about being talked about!” Trixie exclaimed. “But you know what? Still a net win!”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
Twilight sighed. “Okay, we were going to figure out a plan… but…”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
Starlight looked up at Celestia. “Uh, Princess Celestia?”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
“Yes, my little pony?”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
“I’ve learned that it’s okay to ask for help when a task seems to be for you alone. Even one that you may have caused. So I’d like to ask, on behalf of myself… and Twilight—”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
“Hey!”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
“— that you help us out with your superior sun knowledge.”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
Celestia stared down, smile on her face. “That is a wise course of action, Starlight…”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
Starlight smiled proudly while Twilight let out a sigh.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
Celestia frowned heavily. “Yeah, I have no idea how to fix the freakin’ sun.”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
A series of protests rose from amongst the ponies in front of Celestia.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
Celestia thrust a forehoof into the air. “Look! I just know how to raise and lower it and move it around! A ‘screaming face’ is brave new territory for me!” Celestia let out a grunt of disapproval. “I’m not some sort of infallible, omniscient that fixes all your problems! I’ve just lived a lot longer than you and have a lot of magic at my disp—”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
Celestia looked upwards. “SHUT UP, ALREADY!”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
Celestia sighed, lowering her head. “Starlight, Twilight? We’re going to have to put our heads together on this one…”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
“I’m here, too!” Trixie exclaimed.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
Celestia rolled her eyes. “I’ll let you know if we need a pony to conjure up a big sheet to cover the sun, Miss Lulamoon.”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
Starlight and even Twilight couldn’t help but let out a shocked gasp.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
“Oh, snap,” Maud deadpanned.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
Spike winced. “Even I felt the burn on that one.”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
“… Trixie kinda wishes she just stayed in bed, now…” Trixie said in a pathetic tone.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
Celestia frowned heavily. “I’m truly sorry, Trixie Lulamoon. It’s just this damn noise! I mean… with my shield up, I feel it in my teeth!” Celestia exclaimed.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
Trixie bowed her head and sniffled. “It’s fine… I’m sure one of you ponies has a lesson about accepting one’s limitations and not taking it personal when rulers trample all over your feelings…”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
“Oh geez…” Celestia uttered. “Look, if I let you do your show in the Canterlot Grand Hall out of no expense of your own, would that make you feel better?”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
Trixie’s head tilted upwards and she stared up at Celestia with one, gleaming lilac eye. “Five shows, and Trixie gets room and board at the castle for a week.”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
“Deal!”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
Trixie looked up, grinning from ear to ear.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
Maud spoke up. “The sun is still screaming.”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
“We noticed, Maud,” Starlight grunted in reply.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
“I felt like some ponies might be losing sight of that,” Maud added.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
“Sight, maybe,” Starlight replied. “But we’re going to lose our hearing for a different matter entirely at this rate.”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
Spike turned towards Celestia. “Can’t you just lower the sun?”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
Celestia smiled at Spike. “That would mean the other half of the planet gets to deal with a screaming sun, Spike.”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
“Oh, you mean where the turtle lives?” Trixie suggested.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
Every pony started at Trixie in confusion, save Maud who simply turned and stared.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
“… Trixie,” Starlight began, “what the heck are you talking about?”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
“Er…” Trixie’s face began to flush slightly as she took note of all the eyes being on her and not in a manner she’d usually enjoy. “I just thought, you know… Equestria was held up by a turtle? I mean… That’s how the planet stays upright… It’s balancing….”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
“… on the turtle,” Trixie added.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
Everyone’s eyes lost focus as they began to stare out into nothing.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
“Okay,” Twilight said, “if the turtle is keeping Equestria up then what is the turtle standing on?!”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
“Pffft!” Trixie spit out dismissively. “And you call yourself smart, Twilight.”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
Twilight’s eyes narrowed.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
“It’s turtles all the way down!” Trixie declared.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
Twilight’s left eye began to twitch as her eyes once again went off on a faraway journey. Perhaps to somewhere where planets sat on the backs of turtles and maybe those turtles stood on even larger turtles, which, in turn were on even larger turtles, and so forth and so forth all throughout the unlimited space of the cosmos.
”Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
Spike threw has hands up into the air. “Could we please just do something about the screaming!”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
Celestia sighed. “I’m trying to think Spike, but this is the second worst screaming I’ve ever heard.”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
“What?!” Starlight exclaimed in disbelief. “What was the worst?!”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
There was a sudden crimson flash followed by a mare’s voice demanding, “WHAT IS THE MOTHER BUCKIN’ DEAL HERE?!”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
Celestia let out a terrified screech and quickly did her best to hide behind Maud. “Hers!” Celestia exclaimed as she pointed from behind her much smaller hiding place.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
The ponies turned to take in Sunset Shimmer in all her orange, alicornfied, and very, very angry glory. She tossed one more glare up towards the sun before her simmering stare found itself roiling over those present. “I came over because I could somehow hear that screaming through the mirror portal! Which, I know, doesn’t seem physically possible, but here I am! So I’ve got to ask, whose fault is this?” Sunset finished in a low growl that promised retribution for the guilty party.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
“Starlight’s!” Twilight exclaimed.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
Celestia poked her head up from behind Maud and what little of herself she could hide behind Maud’s much smaller frame. “I-have-it-on-good-authority-that-it’s-Starlight’s!”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
“Trix-Damnit!” Starlight said. “I thought we were on the same page, girls!”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
Sunset’s angry expression suddenly gave away to a massive, demonic grin. “Speaking of pages…”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
“Oh… no…” Starlight said.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
“I am the pulp of my page…” Sunset uttered, her eyes focusing into a trance like state.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
“No! Nope, nope!” Starlight exclaimed as she backed away from Sunset.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
“Fiber is my body and ink is my blood.”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
Starlight felt her back run into Celestia’s barrier.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
“I have appeared in over a thousand publications…”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
Starlight turned, panic stricken as she looked over the canary yellow shield. She feebly attempted to dig her way through it, like a cat attempting entry through a solid door.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
“Unknown to privacy.”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
Starlight looked towards Celestia and Twilight for help or mercy.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
“Nor known to understanding…”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
Starlight found neither in either face of her would be defenders.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
“Have withstood embarrassment to create many stories…”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
“Sunset!” Starlight exclaimed. “Please, stop!”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
“Yet, this horn will never type a word…”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
“Er… Twilight was saying how nopony is perfect and how sometimes we need to have the same lesson—”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
“So as I pray,”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
“Oh for the love of Celestia! Please stop!” Starlight pleaded.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
“Hey, don’t look at me,” Celestia said.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
“UNLIMITED PAPER WORKS!” Sunset bellowed as hundreds upon hundreds of crimson portals opened behind her and a deluge of newspapers whipped through the air and flew into Starlight, burying her under a heap of rolled up print as if she was suddenly at the bottom of a waterfall composed of tightly rolled paper and black ink.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
One of Starlight’s forehooves emerged from the pile. “Owie…”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
Trixie simply glared at it. “I am not sorry that happened to you…”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
Sunset took a deep breath. “Okay… Now to deal with the sun.”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
Celestia frowned and stood up from behind her hiding spot. “Sunset? We’ve been unable to come up with anything, perhaps if we—”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
“I got this," Sunset insisted.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
Celestia frowned. “My Little Shimmering Sunshine? Are you su—?”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
Sunset’s horn glowed crimson once more and she disappeared with a flash and a ‘Bamf!’ appearing outside.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
Celestia’s legs began to do a panic dance that kept the mare stationary. “My baby is outside…” she cried. “My baby is outside with the horrible screaming!”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
Spike frowned. “And she’s unfurling her wings?”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
Celestia gasped. “No…”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
Everypony looked on in awe and perhaps shock as Sunset flew up closer to the sun.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
“NO!” Celestia cried. “She’ll… she’ll burn up! Or be screamed into a puddle! She can’t—
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa—”
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
All at once, a much louder scream had sounded out. A scream that caused the very earth to shake, that sounded loud and clear even through the barrier. A scream that rocked ponies to their core and forced all who heard it, which was near all of creation, to pay attention.
Sunset Shimmer had flown up to the screaming sun and was now angrily glaring it in the eyes it stared at the relatively tiny pony in confusion. It opened its mouth again. “Aaaaaaa—”
“AAAAAAAHHHH!” Sunset retaliated, far louder.
“… Aaa…”
“AAAAAAAHHHH!”
“… A…”
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
The sun clamped its mouth shut as it stared at Sunset. Sunset simply gave a satisfied nod before flying down to rejoin the group of ponies and singular dragon below.
Celestia let her canary dome bubble burst as Sunset came in for a wobbled landing, nearly flying face first in the ground, but caught at the last moment by Celestia’s warm, yellow magical embrace before she was pulled into a more conventional warm embrace of forelegs and wings. “That was amazing, Sunset!” Celestia exclaimed.
“Yeah,” Spike agreed as Starlight pulled herself out of the pile of newspapers she had been assaulted with. “How’d you know that would make it shut up?” Spike asked.
Sunset turned and smirked even as Celestia kept her wrapped tightly in a foreleg hug. “Because nothing can out tantrum me. Nothing!”
The sun’s lips began to quiver.
Twilight sighed. “Okay, well… We still have a sun with a face that looks like it’s going to start crying at a moment’s noticed.”
Celestia gently sat down Sunset and rubbed her forehead slightly. “Hmmm… I might have a solution.”
Starlight groaned as she rubbed a few of the sore spots on her body, which in this case, was pretty much anywhere on her body. “You know how to get rid of the face?”
“No,” Celestia answered, “I said I might have a solution.” She looked down. “Sunset, er…” Celestia motioned with her head away from the group.
“Oh! Uh, of course!” Sunset said.
Twilight smiled. “Can we help? I mean… I’m sure Starlight would benefit—”
“Sorry, Twilight,” Sunset interrupted, “but we’re going to have to ask all the magical ponies without suns on their flanks to hold tight while the experts figure this out.”
“Oh…” Twilight said somewhat dejectedly. “Okay…” she uttered as Sunset and Celestia trotted away.
Spike chuckled. “Yeah, doesn’t feel great to be left out, does it?”
“Spike?” Twilight began irritably. “Shut—”
“Shut, ‘what’ Twilight?!” Spike snapped. “Huh?! Say it! ‘Shut’ What?! Oh what did you want your number one assistant to shut so he wouldn’t be a bother and you could continue doing whatever you wanted while only thinking about him when it’s convenient?! Huh, Twilight?! GO AHEAD! SAY IT! SEE WHAT HAPPENS! PISS OFF THE VOLCANO!”
Twilight frowned heavily as her pupils began to drown in the amethyst of her irises. “You know what, never mind…” she uttered.
“Yeah!” Spike exclaimed. “That’s what I thought!”
The group watched as Celestia and Sunset sat on their haunches and began having a whispered conversation. Whispers soon turned to excited speaking punctuated with giggling. Giggling gave way to bursts of laughter and then a prolonged laugh from both mares that pretty much no pony would describe as anything but ‘maniacal’. Soon the two returned, snickering, and looking at each other as if they were both in on some big secret nopony else was privy too.
“Okay, we figured it out,” Celestia said.
“Right,” Twilight said with a nod, “is there anything we can do?”
Sunset gave Twilight an smile, untamed and reckless. “Try to keep life on the planet from ending if things go south.”
“Okay… WAIT, WHAT?!” Twilight shouted.
Starlight merely watched as Sunset turned back to face Celestia. “… Is it weird I kinda have a lady boner going on right now?” she asked.
“YES!” Twilight cried.
“Oh… alright then,” Starlight replied.
Celestia and Sunset eyes suddenly turned bright white as the two floated into the air, their shoulders and heads high as their back legs dangled below. The two mares rotated around a central point between them as they climbed higher and higher. Finally, the mares’ leaned their horns close enough that they touched with a bright white flash. A canary-yellow and crimson-red aura sprung forth from the alicorns' horns and intertwined in a helix shape as it flew up towards the sun which suddenly began its wailing once more.
The magic hit and, again, there was another blinding flash of light even greater than the sun.
And then… darkness… not the darkness of night, but something far blacker. Like something was missing. Though the stars shined ever the brighter Twilight and the others around her gasped, because they knew the sun was now gone and it was unclear if there could be any life whatsoever if it was missing for a prolonged period.
As suddenly as it had gone dark, it became bright again, and Once again the typical warmth of a typical Ponyville day had returned as well as the sun, it seemed, that saw fit to share it’s rays.
Celestia and Sunset gently flapped back down to join their group. Smiling proudly to themselves the entire way. They touched ground softly, and let their wings and shoulders drop, their bodies clearly wearied even as their faces wore joyous expressions.
“You did it!” Starlight exclaimed. “You fixed that sun!”
Sunset chuckled. “Not exactly…” She looked up at Celestia. “Go on… Go on tell them.”
Celestia shook her head as she gave Sunset a devilish smile. “Oh, you’ll get so much more satisfaction than I will explaining it.”
Sunset thought for a moment. “Okay, yeah, that’s true…” She pointed upwards. “That’s not our sun.”
A chorus of confusion met Sunset’s words.
Sunset continued. “Well… I guess it’s our sun now… but… hehe… we sort of found a sun that was just like ours… and switched it with the face sun.”
Silence was the only answer for a moment.
“Like… no, seriously…” Starlight said. “Someone just mate me already, please…”
“So uh… What happened to our old sun?” asked Spike.
“No takers then?” Starlight asked as she fidgeted her back legs slightly. “Okay… some other time, then…”
Twilight raised an eyebrow. “You didn’t like… just subject another planet to constant screaming, did you?”
Celestia's alabaster cheeks began to turn slightly pink, “Well…”
“There was no sapient life on the planet,” Sunset answered, “as far as we could tell.”
“As far as you could tell?!” Twilight exclaimed.
“Hey, this was new to both of us!” Sunset exclaimed. She narrowed her eyes. “You know what, Twilight? You can talk to me after you move a couple heavenly bodies across time and space to fix some other ponies' problem!” She thrust her forehoof up. “Up top, mom!”
Grinning, Celestia swatted Sunset’s forehoof.
Twilight let out an exasperated sigh.
“Look, it’s fine!” Sunset insisted. “Nothing that lives on that planet is smart enough to notice a screaming sun isn’t normal!”
-~Elsewhere across space.~-
“Alright, third time's the charm! Let’s see what we got here!” an aged, if hopeful voice of a male called out to his passengers as the owner flew a rectangular spacecraft towards a planet’s surface. The spacecraft looked to be a cross between a delivery van, jet, and helicopter with small wings and a dorsal fin adorning the top back along with a pair of jets that fired off blue energy above the wings, and finally a pair of thick landing skis that resembled two fat earthworms.
Even high above, it was clear the planet contained the vibrant blue of clear, clean water and the lush green of forests and plains occasionally framed by golden mountain tops. Descending through the atmosphere with ease, the pilot set the spaceship down on in an open plane on the planet’s dark side as the first hints of sunlight began to make their way to the vehicle.
The two back-doors and the driver side door of the 'spacevan' swung open and a handful of people climb out. An adult male with short brown hair wearing a tuxedo placed his polished shoes on grassy ground, a small smile on his lips. Almost at the same time, a young adult female with orange hair in a ponytail, wearing a purple dress also touches her high heels to the ground. She also smiled as she took in the scenery around her.
“Seems good,” an adult female with shoulder length blond hair, a light-blue dress, and similarly optimistic smile commented as the adult male gently helped her off the ship.
“And nothing on the cob,” the male quipped as he lovingly slipped a hand behind the waist of the blond-haired woman. “Didn’t know that was a necessity…” he half said, half mumbled.
A teenaged boy with short brown hair, also dressed in a tuxedo made his way down and stands next to the blond woman who placed a hand on his shoulder.
“No, it’s nice!” the older gentleman said, his hair spiked and greenish, the color matching a shirt that was under an unbuttoned lab coat and sitting over a black belt that held up brown pants. “I think this may be it,” he added as he looked from side to side.
“Wow! Hey. Look you guys,” the teenaged boy said, voice filled with cheerful optimism. “The sun’s rising.”
In a surprisingly short amount of time, the entire land was lit up as the sun quickly soared over distant mountains, sharing it’s warmth, light, and perhaps most notably, screaming with the every inch of the planet fortunate, or perhaps unfortunate enough to be in it’s light.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!”
The group of people stood in place, their fingers instinctively stretching and tensing as the sound reverberates through them. “Ah, dad?” the blonde woman said. She turned towards the older, spiked-haired gentlemen. “How long are the days on this planet?”
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!”
Reaching into his lab coat, the man produced a rectangular device with a small antenna like attachment that ended in a ball about the size of a human eye. “Uh, computer, how long are the days on this planet?”
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!”
After a series of soft beeps, the computer answered. “42 hours,” it said, as the elder man’s unibrow and eyelids drifted downward into an unamused scowl.
-~Back in Equestria~-
“Anyways!” Sunset said. “I’d love to stay and chat, but that whole ‘switching’ suns thing has really drained me!” she said as her knees began to buckle and she lowered to the ground. “So… I’m just gonna… crawl… back….” Sunset’s eyes became half-open orbs of turquoise that seemed to be struggling with her eyelids, “… back home… and…”
“Nonsense, Sunset!” Celestia said as she began a gentle descent that suddenly culminated in her practically falling next to Sunset with a soft ‘thump’ as she hit the grassy ground. “You can stay here and get some rest... back at… cast…” Celestial’s head began to drift from side to side as her eyes likewise became half-lidded. “Right… here…” she mumbled, her chin finding rest on top of Sunset.
“No…” Sunset protested, clearly barely awake as she scooched closer towards Celestia. “Gotta… gotta get…”
Celestia draped her massive alabaster wings over Sunset like a protective bird and soon both mares were snoozing away.
“Aww…” Starlight uttered while Twilight regarded the scene with a hint of envy. Meanwhile, Spike continued to quietly simmer in his rage and Trixie looked around, as if trying to confirm nothing had changed. Maud continued to silently stare forward.
“… Well…” Twilight said. “Did uh… Did everypony learn anything?”
Silence. Somehow glorious, wonderful silence met Twilight’s question.
Sadly, it was soon ruined by ponies speaking.
Trixie smiled. “I learned you can win by losing!”
“Still peeved regarding all things friendship,” Spike said, adding, “you incredibly imperfect purple Princess of Friendship hack,” in a rather loud mumble.
Starlight trotted off, taking all nearby kites in an electric blue glow. “I’m gonna try ripping a hole to a wind dimension,” she announced. “Wish me luck!”
Trixie and Spike began to fall in line behind Starlight.
Maud stared at Twilight for a second. “I wanted to hang out with my friends.” After a brief pause, she added, “It’s going pretty well,” she added as she turned to follow the group.
Twilight frowned. “Well… I guess I learned something at least… Like… uh…” Twilight looked at up at the sun. The bright, sun that shined down quietly and shared it’s gentle warmth with Equestria. The sun that helped make sure every day in Ponyville was practically a perfect one… er… or at least the sun that would now serve that purpose. Staring up though her eyes burned, Twilight stood in place, replaying the day's events and contemplated their meaning…
“Yeah… buck it…” Twilight finally uttered. She turned and began to trot after the group. “Hey, Starlight! Want some help?!” she asked as she strolled past Sunset and Celestia, the two mares still cuddled up and sleeping in the warmth of Equestria’s new sun and the nice Ponyville weather.
The End.
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I have two questions.
1 - what were you on at the time of writing this?
2 - where may I procure some at reasonable cost?
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
You might wanna edit the AAAHHHHHs, its stretching the page out and the title is bleeding outside of its box..
How much trouble could Twilight avoid if she had the forethought to put Starlight on a train and tell it to ride like the wind towards Griffonstone.
Like the Rick and Morty reference at the end...
God fu**ing dammit.
I need more upvote buttons. xDDD
This was great...
That was amazing. Also, I was laughing so hard at the part with the spaceship.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAA? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
AAAAAAAAAAA/AAAAAAA -AAA
8374864
No.
It's glorious the way it is.
Also I love this.
Man spike is pissed
Is it wrong that I wanna see a fanfic about the mane six trying to make it up to him only for him to keep insulting them?
Judging by the title, this is probably a good story.
8374923
...No, its not. There are people who CAN'T view a page stretch.
...what was that bit with the other planet referencing?
Huh. Time for a bug report, I guess. I didn't even know that you could break the site tables like that with over-long single word titles.
I seriously don't understand the number of downvotes. This is gold.
8374948
Rick and Morty. There's a bit where they find a planet with an inexplicable screaming sun. It was Starlight's fault, Canon confirmed, put in Season 3.
She has a point.
...This might just be the greatest story ever and I loved every moment of it.
Edited: to all those who responded to this in the first place, I went a bit too far and I shouldn't comment when I'm far too tired.
This story's title likely wasn't clickbait, and the story is competently enough written. I still found it rather meh, didn't think it amusing, am baffled why others think it's funny but they're entitled to their own opinion, and the title is obnoxious.
Hmm...I think that about sums up my current thoughts on this fic.
I remembered having more words to say about this story beyond my initial input. Instead, all of my thoughts faded into nothingness as a singular piercing sound filled my head.
It's still there, by the way, and it's going to be there for the rest of the week.
Damn you, Justice. Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn you! *shakes fist angrily*
8374948
The adult Swim Animated series Rick and Morty; Season 2 episode 10, "the Wedding Squanchers". The dialogue is pretty much taken line-for-line.
8374954
It's because of the annoying AAHHH bit. Seriously, its a scream. Would I get instantly popular if I screamed at the top of my lungs?
8374978
No. But it's not like you have to hear it. Reading text isn't usualy unpleasant barring odd font or kerning.
8374951
stress testing ftw
8374987
truth
This would be the perfect drinking game.
Take a shot every time a “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!” is said but if the font size is small take a shot for every two “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!” and if the font size is large take two shots for each “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!”.
8374980
Its annoying regardless of hearing or seeing it.
8375003
Interesting. For me it was just like reading double spaced. Ignore every other line and so forth.
I imagine the sun sounded like this
8374995
we"ll be sure to write that on your epitaph
spike got just spiked!
woot~!
also maybe change the title and description so that people would know what to expect here coz i for one did appreciate it but also has a lot of downside to it and almost 20 people already downvoted this....
Bird Person appreciates this story.
Jolly good show, friend!
8374993
"Yeah, we found a bug."
"What is it?"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
Heeheeheheh
This was good, this was very good 
Not gonna lie... I feel bad now.
But good job
Nothing like waking up to seeing a brand new tale of bizarre, absurd chaos from my favorite fellow sociopath!
This whole story should probably have been called "Starlight Bitches About the Wind".
...Trixie thinks they live on the Discworld? Seriously?
Since when is Sunset Shimmer Lina Inverse? Not that I disapprove of this, mind. Except in the general chest area...
This story was insane. You're insane!
If I have one criticism, it's that the punchline is lost on anyone who doesn't watch Rick and Morty (I didn't get the joke until I read the comments), but sometimes that's just a thing that happens when we write covfef--*cough* comedy.
8374970
Do you really think Justice wrote this just to get featured or to get attention? I don't know if you're capable of processing this, but sometimes writers write things because they think it's funny and for no other reason. What happens after they write and post it is frankly out of their control, but it's a fair shake that anything Justice writes has a 99% chance of getting featured because Justice is an insanely popular author. All the vile shit you're accusing him of for whatever insane reason is just you being a prick for absolutely no good reason and why? You're annoyed a story you feel "slighted" by somehow got popular/featured? How juvenile can you get?
8375067
That's pretty much how I write my stories. I think they're good ideas at the time and I just run with them until I get bored or a new concept pops into my head.
8375067
It certainly isn't typical feature fodder, but say what you want, the site-breaking oversized title and description is pure clickbait alright. The actual story is bland and middling-ish enough that I really don't think I would've looked at it twice if the description and title had actually said much of anything as to what it's actually about. I mean, it's not bad, but I don't think I would've cared to read "the sun is screaming and also Starlight Glimmer complains about kite flying for half the story, I guess?"
Attention-grabbing story titles are fine and dandy, it's what they're supposed to be for, but if they're so far from describing the actual story meaningfully that they basically have nothing to do with each other, someone is going overboard with it. This is kind of gimmicky.
Can I get the drugs you were on when writing this?
The clickbait title and unintuitive descriptions both turned me off of this immediately. Obvious clickbait like this just tends to make me suspicious.
8375076
Excuse you? Believe it or not, Justice's thought process behind all that was likely 0% "OMG I'm gonna get so many clicks for this kekeke" and 100% "oh god this is too much, I can't even".
Because that's how comedy writers work.
Accusing somebody of doing something for clickbait reasons when there's absolutely no reason they'd do something like that, let alone do it so blatantly (this IS Justice3442 we're talking about, he could write a story titled "Oxidization of Iron in Tropical Climes" and it'd get featured because he's Justice3442) accomplishes nothing except making YOU look like a jerk.
What the...
8375090
No, don't excuse me. I really liked "The one where Pinkie gets even" and that one managed to be good and really funny while actually telling me something about the story it was attached to. I meant what I said. If you think that intentionally attaching a nonsense title and description to a story has some kind of carte blanche because "of course you're going to love it, it's by that guy," then you know even less about writing than I do.
8375100
...
You know what? I'm walking away right now before I go off on a profanity-laden tirade about what a massive jerk you're being right now.
Bottom line, Justice3442 wrote something that was funny to him and his closest compadre at the time. There's nothing wrong with that. He posted it on FiMF because he thought other people might find it funny too. There's nothing wrong with that.
You and a bunch of other jerks decided to be jerks about the "clickbait title" for absolutely no good reason. There IS something wrong with that.
Bottom line, you're being a jerk for absolutely no good reason to a guy who doesn't DESERVE you being a jerk, and you're being a jerk to ME for calling you out on being a jerk.
Where does the jerk behavior stop?
And now for the sequel where everything is on a cob.
8375111
I'm not being a jerk. I like Justice's stories in general. I'm just saying it's a bad story title that appears to do nothing but be attention-grabbing for its own sake. Unless you're one of those type who think all criticism is being super awful mean because you're not saying something nice and praising the author instead, there's nothing jerkish or even rude about that.
So, you know, maybe calm down and get a grip.