Fanfiction.yes

by Muggonny

Chapter 1 - Normal Day at the Office

Six in the morning, alarm goes off, fan on high, nothing but darkness, no coffee. Get up, hit snooze, turn off fan, turn on lights, brew some coffee. All out of coffee, walk to the convenience store across the street groggily at six in the morning. Walk back home, brew some coffee, take a moment to smell the fresh aroma. Take a shower, out of towels, wait in bathroom until dry, she reminds herself that she lives home alone so she chooses to walk out the house wet and butt-naked. She forgets that she's a pony and that nudity is casual attire.

Pour some coffee, drink some coffee, pour some more coffee, drink some more coffee, pour some more coffee, the pot is empty, drink some coffee and eat breakfast. Toast with Sweet Apple Acres’ jelly, yum! Brush teeth, brush mane, put it in a little ponytail, put the tail in a little ponytail. Walk out of door, leave home, walk four blocks. Arrive at work, walk in via revolving doors.

Greet the desk clerk, walk into elevator, greet the operator, go to ninth floor, walk out of elevator, say thank you to operator, find office, she reminds herself that it's not an office but a large cube with a small opening. Walk through small opening into cubicle, look at desk: tray full of scrap paper on the left, large stack of manuscripts on the right, 3-inch #2 pencil with rubbed-out eraser sitting next to the manuscripts on its lonesome. Sit down, look down at desk, look at 3-inch #2 pencil with rubbed-out eraser, take a blank piece of paper from tray, take up pencil, write something down...

The

Good start. Write something else down.

The off

The off-what? Offer? Official? Offal? What is an Offal? This story is offal! – wait! Isn't that a type of meat? This story is a type of meat! But it's not meaty enough. She would rather beat this meat! Does that sound right?

Roll paper into ball, throw it at trashcan, trashcan is full to represent the number of abstract ideas she has, ball lands on floor instead. Can't think, need more coffee. Too much caffeine already, get decaf. Call the intern over. Admire his muscles and reflect on his premature handle-bar mustache. It’s not that sexy. Send him to Starducks to retrieve a vanilla decaf frappuccino. Read fanfiction, that might help the thought process.

Reads fanfiction, slowly goes through humongous stack of paper. Long, boring, tiresome, yawn, stretch for a bit, stretch again, try zumba to spike energy, go through the remaining seventy-five percent of the stack, demolish the Leaning Tower of Pizazz. Not good, not good, good storyline and characters but very grammatically incorrect. Large stack of rejected manuscripts has been formed by the use-to-be-large stack of manuscripts.

More reading, more reading, more reading, more reading, more reading, more reading, more reading, more reading, more reading, more reading, more reading, more reading, more reading, more reading, more reading, more reading, more reading, más lectura, more reading, more reading, more reading, more reading, more reading, more reading, more reading, more reading, more reading, more reading, more reading, more reading – stop!

Something so fruity it's juicy. Well-written, great dialogue, perfect tone, characters seem to be alive and well-rounded. Oh shit – it’s a clopfic. Save for tonight.

Throw manuscript in saddlebag, look at the time, it’s seven-thirty. Intern is back, gives her the vanilla decaf frappuccino. Sip. Not bad, but she would taste better. She should know, a few certain stallions have told her so.

Sit up, lick whip cream off lips, continue going through stack, twenty-five percent left to go. She can make it! Reading… reading… reading… reading… reading… reading… reading... breathing… reading and breathing… reading and breathing and drinking...

“Vanilla.”

Sit up, turn around, see manager, serious look on his face. Can’t be good.

“Come with me into my office.”

Walks away, a sign that she should get up and follow after. Gets up and follows. Walks down the row of cubicles, perspiration perspiring, co-workers peering outside of their “offices” to see what will become of poor her, arrive at office. Walk in. Manager sits behind desk in center of room.

“Have a seat.”

Haves a seat. Worries. Sweat sweating little beads of sweat inside of sweat. What will become of poor her?

“You are clearly a hard worker Vanilla, more hardworking than any other publisher in your department. I’m sorry it has come to this, but it seems you’re no longer needed on the ninth floor of FrandfictionCo. anymore. I want you to pack your things and move out...”

She knew this would happen eventually. Quick! Say something to even out the awkward silence!

“Kay.”

He smirks. It’s not a snobbish smirk, it’s not an obnoxious smirk, it’s not an evil or snarly or snobbishly obnoxiously evil snarly smirk – it’s a playful smirk.

“And move your things to your new office upstairs. Congratulations Vanilla Decaf, new CEO of FrandfictionCo.”

Accept promotion with earnest glee.

“Kay.”

A microscopic cloud has formed above FrandfictionCo. HQ.

Comments

[Vanilla Decaf]

First story on Fimfiction! whoop! whoop!

[LyraAlluse]

I am liking this fan fiction so far! I hope that you guys will update it soon.

[Muggonny]

8418832
Thank you! Also, ignore the fact that it went from an everyone rating to a teen rating. Minor mistake.

[Honey Lavender]

I'm personally not a fan of the Greentext formatting, but there's something... else about this one. I think I'll keep an eye on it; seems to be going places.

Also, obligatory Star Wars reference:

The Meta is strong with this one

[LyraAlluse]

8418841 I don't mind either way, so it is all good.

[Ponywriter55]

I really like the concept! If only this is real life..

[EverfreePony]

This is definitely a peculiar style. Not one fitting a long epic adventure, but it definitely does justice to something short and funny. Though, I was wondering when Vanilla Decaf.exe will crash. Also, lots of nice and funny remarks. I shall track and see where this goes!

PS: Was this intentional?

“Have a seat.”

Haves a seat.

Brought a smile to my lips, to be honest

[Muggonny]

8772160
I'm glad you're enjoying it! And yeah, it was intentional. Next chapter will be using a different style since this one was meant to set up a plot.

[EverfreePony]

8772647
Alright, looking forward to it, then!

[Ice Star]

Well, this is bizarre.