• Published 15th Aug 2017
  • 2,363 Views, 54 Comments

The Disney Princesses Meet Princess Twilight Sparkle - Dreadnought



Disney's princesses meet with My Little Pony's Twilight Sparkle.

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The Summit

Author's Note:

Another story written during a long bout of insomnia, which explains quite a lot. Like, 95% of what you'll read below. Even this section was concocted while I was lying there wide awake. Everything's written in a very-off the wall style, one that would be great for a reading on YouTube. Someone want to volunteer? :raritywink:


Dreadnought

Once upon a time –

About 04:36:18 Zulu (that’s 12:36:18 AM for you on the east coast, 9:36:18 PM for you on the west coast) next Tuesday. Though somehow for a story set in the future, it is written in past tense. Never mind this seeming contradiction and forget I mentioned it.

– in a land far, far away –

Okay, so not that far away for you readers in central Florida, but far away for those who live on the west coast, not to mention the readers overseas in places like the UK, Australia, and North Korea. Wait, do they even have internet access in North Korea? I don’t think so. Besides, they have more important things to do than read My Little Pony fan fiction.

– lay a Magic Kingdom. At the heart of this kingdom stood a beautiful, towering castle.

Interesting fact: Did you know that the castle is just under 200 feet tall? If it was 200 feet or more, then it would be a hazard to aviation, and would require a beacon. Can’t you just see those imagineers trying to explain why a fairytale castle needs a flashing light? They’d probably make up some backstory that it was some magic gem that protected the kingdom from outside evil, but I digress.

Deep within a secret chamber, a number of young ladies had gathered for an important meeting.

Bet you were expecting another witty note from this smart-ass author. Well, joke’s on you!

The group sat around a large, round table, anxiously awaiting their leader.

Aerial turned to Cinderella and asked, “Where can Snow White be? Our meeting was supposed to start half an hour ago.”

“I don’t know, but I can tell you where she’s not – making crappy direct-to-video sequels,” replied the agitated princess.

“Yes, I was less than pleased with mine. It seemed as though it was just a rewrite of my first movie.”

“Well, at least it was better received than my first sequel. It was wretched. So many years had passed, they really didn’t need to make a sequel, let alone two.”

Just then the door opened, and Snow White stepped inside as the other princesses rose in respect. Taking her seat, she said, “Thank you all for coming. Before we begin, I will now take a roll call of all in attendance. Cinderella?”

“Here.”

“Aurora?”

There was silence. Pocahontas poked the sleeping beauty who, disoriented, looked about and asked, “What’s going on?”

“Ariel?”

Setting down the fork she had been using to comb her hair, she answered, “Here.”

“Belle?”

Putting down her book, she replied, “Here.”

“Jasmine?”

“Here.”

“Pocahontas?”

“Here.”

“Mulan?”

“Here.” The girl went back to sharpening her sword.

“Tiana?”

“Here.”

“Rapunzel?”

“Here.”

“Elsa and Anna?”

Aerial spoke up. “Anna is busy running Arendelle while Elsa is travelling the world fighting global warming.”

“Oh?” said Snow White. “It doesn’t appear she’s doing a very good job. Nevertheless, I wished they had told me about this. Very well, Mona?”

“Moana,” corrected Belle.

“That’s what I said, Mona.”

“Mo-an-a,” repeated Belle.

“Mo-an-a,” replied Snow White.

Mulan explained, “She’s on Gaum to defend the island from North Korean missiles.”

Actually, the author has yet to see the movie Moana. I know you just gasped at that admission. So, in an effort to not offend fans by writing her poorly, the author has elected to offend fans by not including her at all.

“I see. Well, I hope her assistance is not required, but I’m sure the US military will accept her help if needed.” Looking over her roster, she asked, “Did I miss any princess?”

A very heavy Scottish accent came from the back of the room, “Yes, what about me?”

Looking up, Snow White explained, “Oh, Merida, this is for Disney princesses only. You are Pixar.”

“What about me?” came a voice from a small little girl.

“Vanellope von Schweetz, didn’t you abdicate your throne to become President?”

“Yeah, but Mulan is here and she’s never been a princess.”

Yes, she has a point. One that’s never been explained to me, the author. I know I skip between referring to myself in the first-person and third-person. Deal with it.

“Corporate has decided that she’s a Disney princess and you are not. I’m afraid I have no control over it.”

“Well, I’m a Disney Princess,” said a lioness.

“No Nala, this group is for human princesses only.”

“How do you explain why I’m not included then?” asked a teenage girl.

“Who are you?” asked Snow White.

“I’m Princess Eilonwy.”

The other princesses all looked at each other in confusion. Snow White asked again, “Who are you?”

“Eilonwy. From The Black Cauldron.”

“Oh yes, I remember, Eilonwy from The Black Cauldron. I’m afraid this is limited to human princesses from successful Disney movies that were profitable.” Seeing no one else, she said, “You all will have to leave.” The others grumbled and left, leaving the eleven girls alone in the chamber.

Who knew that there were so many Disney Princesses? And why aren’t all counted anyways? Wouldn’t Disney make more money if they had more princesses and thus more merchandise to sell? Take note shareholders of Disney! There is untapped revenue!

“Now that we have that out of the way, we can begin our summit,” continued Snow White. “Cinderella, you called for this meeting, why don’t you present the motivation?”

Cinderella rose from her seat and stood before the other princesses. “Thank you all for coming. It is so nice to see all of you again.” Clearing her throat, she began, “I hope you haven’t forgotten our mistake from a few years ago? We stood idly by while Princess Fiona had a breakout role in Shrek. Since then, she’s appeared in a hit-Broadway show and in three other movies, with a fourth on the way. Our kindness has led to the rise of a competing princess. Now we face another grave threat to our status. In a few weeks we will see Princess Twilight Sparkle star in a movie. And this movie will have not one, but several princesses. We cannot let this stand. We must act.”

There were hushed whispers and some nods of agreement among the other princesses. Finally, Aerial spoke up, “What are you proposing?”

“We must make a pre-emptive strike.”

“What do you have in mind?” asked a suddenly interested Mulan.

“I propose we kidnap Princess Twilight.”

There was some shock among the group.

Snow White was the first to speak up. “I think Applejack is the bigger threat. She’s hawking all those apples. Who knows how many princesses will be poisoned.”

Aurora next spoke. “What about Rarity? All those needles,” she shuddered.

“No, it must be Princess Twilight Sparkle.”

“Is that really necessary?” posed Rapunzel.

“Absolutely.”

Mulan said, “From my studies of Sun Tzu, we should wait and see what develops. Perhaps her movie will not be successful?”

“Can we really take that risk? Do you want to see another Shrek or Anastasia? No! We must act now while we still can. Together we can pull off a great victory!”

“Can we not live in harmony?” asked Pocahontas.

“You tried that, didn’t you? And the English stole your lands. Ariel, your beloved seas are being overfished and polluted. Jasmine, your homeland in Arabia is in turmoil. We have stood by too long. The line must be drawn here, no further. Now is our moment of destiny!”

The other princesses stood and cheered, and the motion was carried unanimously.

Oh, things are going to get interesting now! It’s not too soon to hit that thumbs up button at the top of the screen. Come on, you know you want to. It’s so easy! Just hover the cursor over the thumbs up and left-click. You don’t even have to get out of your seat.