Shining Armors Confession
Shining Armor who has finally decided to tell his marefriend and family his deepest secret is nervously pacing in a circle in the backyard of his home. He was waiting for his marefriend to show up so he could take her to the living room so he could confess.
Shining Armor's parents and younger sister were already in the living room waiting for him to show up and tell them what the meeting was about. As he was pacing Shining Armor saw his marefriend fly down to the ground. Her name was Princess Cadance and she is the princess of love.
The moment Shining Armor saw her he said "thank you for coming on such short notice my love.There is something important that I have to tell you and my family. Just know that no matter what I love you with all my heart and soul. But after you hear what I have to say and you decide you never want to see or do anything with me again I will understand."
"Why would I never want anything to do with you my sweet and darling Armor?" inquires Cadance in a worried tone of voice as they head to the living room.
You'll find out soon enough Cadance honey. This is just something I think and feel in my heart that you and my family deserve to know the truth," says shining looking terrified.
As Shining and Cadance enter the living room all the conversations between Shining's parents and sister stopped.
Shining Armor looked at his parents, his sister Twilight and Cadance who sat beside twilight and says "Okay everypony. I want you to know that what I'm about to say is from the deepest part of my heart and soul. But if you don't want me in the family after I finish talking I understand. The reason I called everypony here is to let you know that though my body is that of a stallion my heart, soul, and brain are not. What I mean to say is that physically I'm a stallion but inside I'm a mare and if you can't accept it I will leave you alone and never bother you again. So what do you think everypony?"
When Shining Armor finished speaking his mother and father exchanged a look soul conversation with each other. Twilight Velvet after receiving a nod from her husband Night Light says " Shining Armor. Your father and I have but two questions. The first one is how long have you been suffering and forcing yourself to hide who you truly are. The second is what is your true name and what you like to be called my dear daughter?"
Shining Armor after taking a deep breath says "I have felt this way for as long as I can remember. As for my true name and what I would like to be called that would be Gleaming Shield Sparkle or just Gleaming Shield. So does this mean you still want me as part of the family?"
Everypony looked at each other and after giving each other a nod Twilight Velvet says "you will always be our daughter my darling Gleaming. We will always love you."
"What about you Twily? Are you okay with this my darling sister?" Inquires Gleaming shyly.
Twilight excitedly says " Of course I am Gleaming. To be honest I always thought of you as my big sister."
Gleaming turning to Cadance asks " How about you my love?"
"Of course I still love you. No matter who or what comes between us I will always love you the most my love," answers Cadance giggling at the shy mare in front of her.
Shining crying says " Thank you everypony for letting me be true to myself and accepting me as I am."
Cadence going to her now marefriend and says in a loving tone "It' alright my darling marefriend. By the way, i have always been into mares. The reason I stayed with you is that I knew deep, deep in your heart that you were a mare and that you were suffering. If you like I can cast a gender change spell to change you into a mare. This spell can only be used once and is incredibly painful so think carefully before you decide."
Gleaming Armor hardly believing what she just heard says " I can't believe that after all the time we spent together i never once fooled you, my love. It's true I was suffering but now that I can truly be me I would be honored to have you cast the gender change spell as long as when I come out of it you will still be by my side, my dear."
Cadance glad that Gleaming has decided to take her up on her says in an excited tone of voice "okay Gleaming I am about to cast the spell. Latana Lunatany Celestiana Un Gendero Unchango Tua Matchana Soulcana." Once she finished the spell Gleaming Armor passed out.
Over the course of the next two days, Gleaminng's body was changing slowly at first and then faster and faster. Then one day about four days after Cadance cast the spell Gleaming started to awaken. When Cadance saw gleaming start to wake she walked over to her marefriend and waited. after another hour gleaming armor opened her eyes.
"where am I? the last thing I remember is you casting a gender change spell on me. Is this really my new voice dear,?" asks Gleaming in her new feminine voice.
Cadance knowing this would happen says to her now biologically marefriend " Yes sweetheart that is your new voice as for what happened. You have been in a magically induced coma for four days so that the pain from the transformation would disperse before you woke up so you wouldn't be in any pain. So I must say congratulations my marefriend on finally being who you truly are on the inside."
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What a stupid idea.
8368469
well thats rude but you are entitled to you opinion
So......What's the point?
Since I'm not a good English user either, I won't judge a work according to the writing style. But, at least can you proofread and get the punctuations right?
And it seems like you copied and paste from a txt document without realizing we will read the title twice.
In addition,
Such a long passage only has two sentences?
And what really annoys me is that nopony seems to be surprised by the action of shining armor. And why he is still masculine in the show?
8368534
the point in this story is that even when you have fears about who you are on the inside you take a chance and at least tell those you love. For if they truly love you they will accept you and maybe even help you.
As for your question of why he is still masculine in the show is because this is based in an alternate reality where he always seemed more feminine. as for the long passage you quoted i could have probably have made them separate paragraphs but i felt if i split it it would mess up the story line a bit.
So shining armor come out and tell them he's mentally ill
Ah, we finally have something for the Shining Armor folder.
8368584
hes not mentally ill he is transgender
8368618
And gender dysphoria is classified as a mental disorder in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th edition, that the American Psychiatric Association goes by, as well as in the International Classification of Diseases published by the World Health Organization, for the United Nations and used by much of the western world.
"Mentally ill" is a descriptor of dubious usefulness, though. I mean, how many people do you know that are being treated for depression? That's in there too. And if we want to start looking at MLP through that lens, most of the mane six probably suffer from one or more things that you would find in the DSM and/or ICD. "Mentally ill" doesn't mean raving lunatic.
Of course, there are plenty of people who will abuse that classification to imply that one means the other, and ChristChan was probably doing exactly that - their profile quote is a quote from Adolf Hitler, for fuck's sake, I suspect they're just a troll - , but it's basically an empty slur.
8368584
Seriously? Not only is that horribly ignorant and close-minded, it is horribly offensive to those who are transgender.
This story's biggest issue isn't its writing. Instead it's its incredibly romanticised view of what being transgender actually is. I'm not suggesting that global acceptance within the family isn't realistic. I'm saying that Gleaming barely seemed to care. She would have known that there was an easy method of transitioning. A way which wouldn't have been called a 'Gender' Change spell when it doesn't change your gender.
Not only this but, having already picked a name, Gleaming would have been far more likely to give it during the actual coming out. She'd likely be uncomfortable in her old name and would like to move on quickly.
I could go on longer but I think my point is clear. This rosey view doesn't help anyone, nor make for an interesting story.
8368686
Agreed.
8368688
You're not wrong about anything. That said, it's often a very fine line with MLP stories trying to get some drama in, without making the world seem excessively out of character. Hazards of writing in a fluffy, candy-colored universe.
8368682
i understand that officially gender dysphoria is a mental illness how ever i believe that it is all a matter of who they are on the inside that matters so in my opinion it would be better to classify gender dysphoria as a physical illness not a mental illness.
8368682
While I agree that there may be something genetic or in the brain to cause such gender dysphoria, it is still a part of who they are and shouldn't in my opinion be classified as an illness (not that I'm saying you were dissing trans people, I can see your point.) After all, homosexuality was defined as a mental illness not too long ago.
(I clicked on his user page. Hopefully a troll)
8368686
i am one such transgender that finds it offensive a little bit. But the way i was raised is that everypony is entitled to their own opinion
8368703
Yes, but they shouldn't be respected for such options if they degrade and disrespect others.
Also, something I noticed in the story (though not major, just bothered me) was that you referred to the spell as a "Gender Changing Spell" I believe what you meant to say was "Sex Changing Spell" as sex is biological and gender is mental.
By the way, have you thought of investing in an editor? One could really help fix your story of grammar and spelling errors.
8368688
in all honesty when Shining/Gleaming came out to his family and friends he never knew that the spell existed because it was actually a secret spell passed down in the alicorn race and can only be used once. Don't worry i am going to add this as an authors note too.
8368700
Eh. As far as homosexuality and gender dysphoria, the difference is that one requires treatment to allow a person to deal with it, the other, well, doesn't. Personally, I'm queer as a three bit coin (... does that work? Maybe there is a three bit coin, I don't know), but abstractly, I get it - my sexuality is statistically speaking abnormal. But here's the important difference... that's not a problem for me, so long as nobody is trying to make it a problem for me. I don't need medical intervention to be happy, quite the opposite, the problem with classifying homosexuality as a disorder was that medical intervention was generally to make everyone else happy, not the
patientvictim.Gender dysphoria, in comparison, is often best treated through medical means - hormones, surgery if desired, etc. So to me it seems clear that it should be considered a disorder.
But, then, others in my life have told me I'm anal about classifying things.
shrug
8368720
I suppose I can see that, as most trans people invest in surgery. I just hate when it's used as an insult, as it was below
8368718
First of all, I second the suggestion of finding an editor, but specifically as relates to the spell... There's two issues, I suppose, really.
One is that it's very obviously a deus ex machina type device. Which I guess is fine if all you want is a short oneshot piece of fluff, but it's rather obvious what it is.
More pressing to me, as an issue of cannon, is that MLP magic isn't generally like Harry Potter or D&D magic. The faux-latin chanting kinda sticks out. I haven't been keeping up with the latest season very well, but to my knowledge verbal spellcasting is never done. It's generally just shown as a force of will thing.
8368715
i have tried to find an editor for my other stories but had no luck so i gave up on finding one. you also do have a point they shouldn't be respected if their opinion hurts others.
8368726
me too
8368729
true but in my opinion it helps the pony casting to focus on the casting of it rather than a force of will which if distracted can be dangerous. that is why when i have complex spells i make a chant or word spell for it.
8368469
It's not the idea that's bad friend, it's the execution. Even a story with a great idea can be bad if not executed correctly.
8368584
Oh, that is a Horrible thing to say.
8368618
Same thing
8368755
Nevertheless true
8368686
Closed minded to state a fact
8368694
If the author's universe was so fluffy, why was she worried in the first place? If everyone would universally accept her there would be no need to make a big deal out of it.
8368776
Modern science tells us that being trans is actually caused by a physical factor in the womb. It has nothing to do with mental health.
8368780
That's sort of my point.
It's trying to be drama, in a universe that fundamentally doesn't support this sort of drama.
(Not saying MLP itself can't support it, but this particularly fanfiction incarnation of it, not so much).
8368801
I realise now that we're arguing the same point :P Thanks for clearing that up!
8368780
she was worried because she didn't know how they would react but she knew she couldn't hide it any longer
8368787
Where's the proof
8368787
Ehn. Lets not fight trolling with bad science.
The truth is, we really don't have a clear idea of a single definitive cause. The long androgen receptor idea might explain it, in MTF individuals. There's a similar issue being looked at in FTM cases, but I forget the specific issue. But sample sizes are small, and there are other theories too.
But it really doesn't matter - there are lots of disorders we know the cause of, that we still include in the DSM and/or ICD. I mean, Fetal Alcohol Syndrome is in there, and the name should give a clue as to what causes that. Down's Syndrome is in there, and we know it's generally caused by trisomy 21. That a disorder has an identified cause doesn't mean it isn't a mental disorder; if it effects the brain, basically, it's a mental disorder, and gender dysphoria does and so is.
Understand, I'm not trying to deride anyone or anything. My initially still stands: "mentally ill" is a weak-ass slur, given the breadth of that term. It's just... It bugs me that we're taking fairly simple concepts, described with words that have very clear meanings, and trying to figure out how we can argue our way out of using them. Our language is tortured enough.
8368695 So wait, let me see if I understand. You think that gender dyphoria is not a case of the brain being wrong, but everything else being wrong?
Surely you can see why that might raise a few eyebrows.
And flawed logic aside, this is just "Insert my views on ponyland" and that's never going to fly even if people DO agree with you.
Stop Normalizing This horrible MENTAL ILLNESS and get help if you're suffering with it. These here are great clip to show you why it's a mental illness
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=aDAU3SPYFsA
Part 2
https://m.youtube.com/watch
v=0dY1rqXDmRk
And a transgender person explaining Transgenderism Is A Mental Disọrder
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wUOjuiAikrU
If you want here's a website for transgender who have regretted their sex change operations and some story and facts
http://www.sexchangeregret.com/
Long-Term Follow-Up of Transsexual Persons Undergoing Sex Reassignment Surgery: Cohort Study in Sweden
http://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0016885
Transgender is 'Mental Disorder;' Sex Change 'Biologically Impossible'
http://cnsnews.com/news/article/michael-w-chapman/johns-hopkins-psychiatrist-transgender-mental-disorder-sex-change
Transgender People Face Alarmingly High Risk of Suicide
http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2015/08/16/transgender-individuals-face-high-rates--suicide-attempts/31626633/
Transgender Surgery Isn't the Solution
http://www.wsj.com/articles/paul-mchugh-transgender-surgery-isnt-the-solution-1402615120
Transgenderism is a Psychiatric Disorder: Its Sufferers Need Therapy, Not Surgery
http://yiannopoulos.net/2014/08/15/transgenderism-is-a-psychiatric-disorder-its-sufferers-need-therapy-not-surgery/
8368911
Oh shove off. I might get overly caught up in minutia, but it's a fanfic website, and we're arguing about colorful cartoon horses. Take the rhetoric and Hitler worship elsewhere.
Ah, a controversial story. Those always end well...
8368924
Lol you mad
8368946
No. Sad. You're not even good at this. You might as well have "666" in your handle.
8368982
Yer your mad
8368987
Why yes, I would love a free Amazon gift card.
8369005
Yer me too but I'm all out of money
8368896
yes in my opinion on Gender Dysphoria it is the body that is wrong not the mind
8368857
Here is where I'm getting my science from. Maybe you know more? Idk. Everyone I've spoken to has corroborated the information under the causes section.
And of course you're right. 'Mentally ill' is nothing but a demeaning term used to remove power from their target.
8368911 Hi! Want to know what the correct treatment for gender dysphoria is according to mental health experts? You can look this up in the DSM5 (physiological diagnosis manual) if you don't believe me.
It's surgical alteration and living as the perceived sex. That's the ONLY thing that will help people who are transgender. Drugs? Just makes them commit suicide. Aversion therapy? Suicide. Trying to make them live as their biological sex? Suicide and possibly your own murder when they snap. The only happy ending possible for transgender people is to transition. Mental health professionals have known this since before sex reasignment surgery was even a thing that existed.
The proper help is to be treated the way the want to be treated. Stop being an asshole. Let them get their medically prescribed treatment.
8368896 Well, to be fair, since you are your brain, or rather the pattern of electrical signals inside your brain, it IS the body that's wrong in this case and not you. You're not the meat covered skeleton you pilot.
8369078
Did you watch the link that I have provided
What the hell?
Not 'What the hell?' as in, 'What the hell is this garbage idea?' (I understand the reasoning), but like... why?
The way you set up the plot to make everything just perfect for the family. The way that Velvet instantly just asks 'What is your true name?' (Where does that question even come from? Most people I know who have 'changed' keep their birth name? Why would she instantly assume that he wanted to change it?) Also Cadance's 'reasoning' for staying with him...
"I knew on the inside you were a mare and you were suffering, that's the only reason I stayed with you."
I don't know why, but this reason bothers me, a lot. She didn't think, in all of the many many years that the show showed that they were together that she should bring this up?
"Sorry honey, I knew you were suffering and watched you suffer for years. I didn't do anything about it though because I knew one day you would get fed up with your own suffering."
Perhaps Cadance should have known this already in the story (Cadance could have brought it up, something along the lines of 'I can tell in your heart there is turmoil, please, let it out and let me help you. I will not think any less of you.')
Not to mention this seems more like a fantasy of someone still deciding whether to come out or not (and if you are, go ahead. If someone doesn't like you for who you are then they don't deserve you), because in reality when someone 'comes out' it's never sunshine and flowers, there will be someone who is unsupportive, even if they don't show it initially.
TL;DR:
I'm not saying the idea itself is bad, I have a neutral opinion on these sorts of things, but the way you set it up was horrid. Perhaps with more practice and better grammar and a more thought-out plot, it would be a much better story conveying the feelings you want to show.
EDIT: Upvoted for your bravery on taking on a controversial idea!