• Member Since 3rd Jul, 2017
  • offline last seen Dec 22nd, 2017

Night Doughnut

"Writing is easy. All you have to do is cross out the wrong words." Mark Twain


Luna tries to convince Celestia that the sun belongs to her because it is a star.

Chapters (2)
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Comments ( 21 )
Story Approver

I absolutely love the concept. Made me smile in queue. Good job.

The true reason Luna became Nightmare Moon

Great story! It now sits in my favorites folder

Thank you! You just made my day!

So cute. I like it so far.

Nice story. Can't wait for more of you stories in the future.

Thank you! There will be more, i am working on a longer story right now

Cute story, needs an editor.

Yha I just noticed some mistakes, thanks for pointing this out!

I surpise twilight is not there say "well sun is a star and I am the princess of stars now" and side with luna....

But Twilight is the princess of friendship....

but she has a star or group of them on her butt, luna was just in charge till twilight is ready and luna just in charge of dreams and moon
also many fan think twilight is princess of stars cause of her butt lol,

Lunas right

A little nice random read, I wouldn't mind if it was a little longer :raritywink: The idea is a really great one. I like that even thousand years later, they are still bickering like little foals :trollestia:

However, I'll be honest with you, there are lots of errors in capitalization and direct speech (Completely normal given this is your first story - to be honest I haven't yet met a writer that would have all of those correct for the first time :ajsmug:) and also some typos (Hoofs instead of hooves, for example.) We can discuss those issues if you wish. Other than that, have an upvote! :pinkiehappy:

Thank you! I have noticed a few spelling and grammar mistakes as I look back on it. Upcoming stories will definitely be more edited. (I might get a proofreader).

You're welcome. If you ever need help, feel free to shoot me a PM.

Fuller review here, but in brief: a brilliant concept, and potentially a very cute fic. In desperate need of editing, though.

A real shame this looks like it will be your only story, because an author with ideas like that would be worth watching.

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