• Published 10th Oct 2017
  • 3,389 Views, 53 Comments

Expected Friends: Unexpected Problems - Sleepyted



Twilight is back in Equestria after a year in the Mojave but things aren't like they used to be when a familiar friend returns

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Chapter 6

Twilight was leaning against the railing on the balcony of the room she always was put in when she visited her brother and sister in law. The visit from the Mojave had turned to be a hell of a lot more hectic than what she first considered, and that was already pretty low in expectations. But Twilight was getting to her whit’s end with all the humans.

Twilight caught them trying to bring heavy weapons in yet again and after reducing them to a molten slag she hoped they would get the message. She had also ‘convinced’ the Commander of their Guard to send back a number of their troops since she felt there sent over too much for a diplomatic visit, but a teleporter had to be sent through so they could be sent back. Signals were sent once a day, requesting the materials that they needed since just sending a holotape worth of data had to go through a very powerful bank of computers inside one of the metal buildings built in the compound.

Only problem was they weren’t ready with the second teleporter, as it was still being built and they didn’t think the base would be set up in the snow so they had to build a large hall to store it insides to reduce damage done to it.

Rubbing her eyes with a hoof she looks down at her glass filled with half melted ice at the bottom. “At least they brought something of use… besides the Stimpaks I guess.” She mumbled to herself as she floated over the bottle from the table it was on in her room.

Pouring a bit more of the amber liquid into her glass she looked back out on the part of the Crystal Empire her balcony looked over, but before she could relax she saw a dozen Crystal Guards marching along swiftly, spears resting over their shoulders. It looked like they were trying to get somewhere, and fast.

Grumbling to herself Twilight set aside her glass and looked around her room for a second until she found her Royal Sword and strapped the sheath around her side before running over to the balcony and jumping off.

Spotting the guards again she glided her way down, landing in front of the group. The Guards stopped and snapped to attention, the one at the front, a purple crest over the top of his helmet signifying his rank.

“Princess!” He said curtly with a salute.

“Where are you all off to?” She asked.

“Disturbance at a bar your highness, we’re headed over.”

“I’ll go along with.” Twilight stated.

If it were with any other princess the Lieutenant might have objected but considering she introduced new techniques and regimes for guard training he knew she could handle herself. “Yes Princess.” He said. “For your knowledge, it’s reported to be based around a visiting Human.” He added hesitantly.

Twilight sighed in annoyance. “Surprised it took this long…” She muttered. “Alright, lead the way.”

With a salute the guards started to trot along again, metal covered hooves clanking against the crystal streets.

The bar wasn’t too far away, and it was easy to guess a human was in it with the power armor parked out the front and the ruckus that was coming from inside.

“Send four around back to stop anyone from making a run.” Twilight ordered as she approached the door.

Upon entering she saw the inside of the bar and said to herself. “Could have been worse…”

“A long time ago, way back in history, when all there was to drink was nothin but cups of tea! Along came a man by the name of Charlie Mops, and he invented a wonderful drink and he made it out of hops!” The white-haired woman sung with a drunken slur as she stood on the large table in the middle of the bar. In her gloved hand she had a wooden mug and in the other she held onto the hoof of a bat pony, wearing half the armor as she danced on the table along with the human.

The rest of the patrons seemed to be enjoying the show, slamming their mugs down in unison to a beat along with the bad singing.

“He must have been an admiral a sultan or a king, and to his praises we shall always sing. Look what he has done for us he's filled us up with cheer! Lord bless Charlie Mops, the man who invented beer!” she continued, spinning around with her dance partner but stopped when she glanced over at the doorway.

Her stupid grin just got a bit bigger. “Ello there!”

The beat quickly faded out as everyone looked at the door as well, the cheering and fun that was happening suddenly cutting off as many of the ponies noticed who was in the doorway.

The silence was so thick that one could cut it with a knife until Nightshade suddenly blurted out. “Oh crud it’s the fuzz!” before falling off the table and landing with a heavy thud.

“Aren’t you a guard though?” Anne asked looking down at the prone bat.

“Right…” She mumbled, rubbing her head with a hoof. “I should head home, I’ve drunken too much.”

The bat slowly got to her hooves, stumbling about as she went over to the front door. “Excuse me…” She slurred as she squeezed herself between Twilight and the Lieutenant but was quickly grabbed by two of the guards.

“I thought the doctors wouldn’t clear you to come over for another week.” Twilight stated as Anne slowly made her way off the table.

“They wouldn’t but I got sick and tired of them constantly worrying about me.” The human explained drunkenly.

With a tired sigh Twilight looked over to the Lieutenant. “Take her in until she sobers up.”

“Wait!” The woman protested. “Lemme just…” She added as she brought up her Pip-Boy and pressed a few buttons on it.

“What do you hope for that to accomplish with that?”

“Well, I need to turn my liver up.” Anne muttered. “Four beers would not get me this plastered. I needed to turn it down if I wanted to get wasted.”

Twilight’s hoof collided with her own forehead. “You lost most of your liver, something that might make many think about cutting out alcohol and cigarettes out of their life but instead you get a robotic one so you can drink and smoke even more.”

“What makes you think I still smoke?” Anne asked offendedly.

“Did you stop?”

“Well no, but I don’t like you assuming anything.”

With a frustrated groan Twilight turned to the very confused bartender. “If that idiot has done any damage have the bill forwarded to the palace.” She stated before turning back to Anne. “Just get your ass outside so I can keep yelling at you.”

“Yes your highness.” Anne said with a mock bow before making her way to the door and outside where said princess and the guards left as well.

All the bar patrons stayed silent for many moments after everyone had left before one older pony just stated. “Not as weird as the griffon envoy came to town…” Before everyone started to chat and talk like nothing had ever happened.

Anne was sober almost within ten minutes once she ‘turned up her liver’ but Twilight didn’t really care much for that, still demanding that she was arrested for drunk and disorderly even though no one had pressed charges. She wanted the human to make sure that if she tried to squeeze by laws without punishment she would surely be mistaken.

So that’s how Anne found herself looking up at the ceiling of a crystal prison cell, laying on a bed far too small for her size and far too comfortable for something that was meant for a prison. Twilight had made sure to take the shotgun shells Anne had in her arm as part of the shotgun built into it but if the woman really wanted out she could leave when she wanted to but she didn’t want to piss off her friend.

Twilight came back in sometime late in the morning to release the very bored woman.

“I don’t want you trying to turn Equestria into New Vegas, because we all know how stable and peaceful that place is.” The pony stated. “That means no excessive partying and stop bringing through heavy ordinance because I’ll keep destroying whatever you bring through.”

“I was just having a bit of harmless fun princess.” Anne said sitting herself up. “And I just wanted to show off a few new toys I managed to get…”

“Well I don’t want them here unless it’s non-violent. Equestria hasn’t seen war in hundreds of years and I don’t want the weapons used to wage it all around them.”

“So I take it trading for guns is a no go?” Anne asked.

“Definitely.” She stated. “The only things we would want from your world are the electronics and medical equipment’s. And I don’t know if you’ve gotten the messages but stop sending through more of your disgusting MRE’s, as our guests we’re giving you food that you and your troops can eat.”

“Well you never rely fully on the kindness of others because they might just take it away and leave you out in the cold.” Anne said with a shrug. “I thought some of my guys were still eating the MRE’s…”

“They taste like ass Anne.” Twilight stated flatly. “And when your guys started eating actual fresh healthy food that doesn’t taste like radiation they only ate our stuff.”

“I guess I’ll have to try it out sometime…” Anne said before sighing sadly. “Can I come out now? I want to give you a hug…”

Lighting up her horn she floated the ring of keys to the door, taking a few attempts until she managed to finally unlock it and push open the crystal door with a creak. Once it was open she didn’t expect how quickly Anne could move but with apparently two artificial legs it wasn’t too surprising. The woman whisked up the pony in her arms (although one was a lot harder than the other) and pulled her closely to her chest and buried her face into her friend’s neck. “I missed you Twilight.”

Twilight didn’t hesitate in returning the hug, her rear legs hanging below her as she was held up in the embrace of her friend. “I missed you two Anne.” She replied.

The two kept the embrace for minutes before they both slowly pulled away but Anne still held Twilight up like one would a cat. “I thought you said Equestria was meant to be all green and stuff. All I’ve seen is snow.”

“Well you came in through the frozen north. What would you expect.” She said. “Can you put me down now, I’m not a foal.”

Anne lowered Twilight back down to the cold crystal floor and looked down at it. “You guys are already so small, how much smaller are your children?”

Twilight held out a hoof at the height she could guess an average foal to be.

“Wait. Was that mare I was dancing with a teen or something?” Anne asked in confusion.

“That Night Guard?” Twilight asked. “She was just short.”

“Twilight!” Anne explained in mock offence. “Should you be calling your own military members short?”

“She’s not a part of my Guard force.” She stated. “Mine are more well trained and disciplined to go out drinking while still in armor.”

“So you have your OWN army now as well?” Anne asked. “Who do you think would win, mine or yours?”

“Mine.” She stated flatly. “I can use spells to raze the entirety of Vegas to the ground.”

“Wait.” Anne said in confusion. “Why didn’t you use those types of spells while you were in the Mojave?”

“Because I wasn’t bothered about leaning spells like that until the Mojave.” She said. “Besides, I would win because you’re an idiot.”

Comments ( 4 )

“Because I wasn’t bothered about leaning spells like that until the Mojave.” She said. “Besides, I would win because you’re an idiot.”

yup... thats game and match there.

Is this story dead?

This whole series is great.

Its sad that this particular story might be dead, but this final chapter is the perfect place to end it and consider the story finished.

Monk

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