This story now has a sequel! You can check it out here: In the Twilight Sky: Eternal Stars
Twilight loved Flash Sentry with all her heart. But now, several decades later, he's dead. Though her friends and brother still continue to live in their old age, her life has not been without heavy losses. However, this one hit her harder than the others. With so many ponies she cares about being so close to the end, she feels lost.
But there are still ponies that understand exactly how she's feeling. Luna tracks Twilight down to a small pond, where she is isolating herself from the rest of Equestria. What follows is a gentle heart-to-heart between two immortals that now feel alone in the world.
Edited by Shadowghostalex.
Chapters (1)
Great story. any chance of a sequel?
8363998
The possibility is open. If I were to make a sequel, it may enter the realm of NSFW. But, of course, that won't be without BOTH kinds of plot.
Good story.
8364028
Thank you very much.
"loved Flash Sentry." I can find three things wrong with that sentence.
Please don't take this comment too personally as it's just a joke to how much of a letdown Flash is in the actual series
8364075
I don't think it's the best ship either, but Hasbro are the gods here.
What are ya, some kinda atheist?
Hope you enjoyed the fic, my dude.
8364154
If the writers at Hasbro are considered "the Gods of MLP," then like my own personal point of views on certain religions, (which shall not be named for the sake of not starting a bloody war in the comments) then I'll be honest, they kind of suck at it.
8364260
We agree on that.
...But they still say what goes.
Bunch of greedy pigs.
8364277
And behold why I stopped watching the show.
Wew, this was great! You really nailed the characterization for both Twilight and Luna here, in my eyes.
Great job!
8365449
Thanks for the bit of criticism.
Awesome story
This is really good, I love how you dealt with the emotions (
)
8426027
You might well enjoy the sequel then. Hope you enjoy and drop a like if you do!
Story was awesome. I'm more fan of longer stories, mostly because if the story is written good (and this one is) I just can't stop reading it and I quickly run out of stories and chapters to read.
Only issue that I had, is that there is no time specified between the story and death of Flash (I might missed that, because I got distracted a lot), so it looks a bit weird (Twilight accepting Luna) if you assume something like one day. Or there is missing something else like Twilight and Flash falling apart.
8567985
Well, if you like longer stories, you're more than welcome to follow the sequel as it progresses. It will be much longer.
As for the time period, I can't quite remember the time I had in mind between Flash's death and Luna's invitation. I think a fair time, though, would be about a week, maybe two.
8568174
I already marked it and another your story, so would not miss any updates ^^
Beyond a few sections where you forgot edit in some quotation marks its pretty well written. Twiluna is my current shipping query and I enjoyed what I read so good job.
8568870
Oh, I didn't forget.
See, if a new paragraph begins while someone is speaking, there is no closing quotation. The speaker is shown to still be talking, and the closing quotation is only added when they are finished talking (or taking a breather, etc.).
But I do appreciate the concern and comment a lot! Always happy to see another shipper of these fellow immortals.
>>Tropical Jack.
Oh, that's not writing style I'm familiar with in that case. But the major issue with that would be that in some cases a reader would have to do a double or triple take before they realize the character is no longer speaking. Most other writers I read still use a hyphen to connect the dialogue between quotation mark.
But you did keep the dialogue separated from any paragraphs which made it easy to understand guess I may just be accustomed to seeing character A say everything in one quotation marks followed by character B's response dialogue. Still its pretty good.
And yes it is a pretty adorable ship ^_^.
8568931
Just for future reference, to help people know you're actually replying to them, there should be a button that looks like ">>" in the upper-right corner of every post. If you click that, people will get the notification that you're replying to them.
And yeah, it's not very commonly used, but it is a rule of dialogue. Just keep in mind that the same person is speaking until they get a closed quotation.
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