• Published 10th Aug 2017
  • 2,665 Views, 87 Comments

Joker's Wild - Damaged



A pony with a very odd and unique look returns home to find his farm waiting for him. He thinks back, recalling how he ended up leaving home and changing his name, destiny, and sex.

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The Start of Spring

The afternoon sun was heavy in the sky, and the light of Celestia's gift weighed down upon Equus like a warm, loving hoof. I couldn't help but pause and look up, my eyes alighting directly on the ball of bright, life-giving energy and study it. Love welled inside me for the simple gift that only Princess Celestia could give.

I got distracted, looking at the sun, but when the last sliver of it disappeared beyond the horizon, I felt a shiver and was broken from the spell. That was how I always ended a day, ever since I became Joker.

Luna's light streamed down, and I had no trouble trotting along towards home. The walk from Ponyville wasn't a long one, but being the last leg of a journey that spanned Equestria made it seem to be much greater.

Home was a farmstead just west of Ghastly Gorge, and south of White Tail Woods. The house itself was dark—it was only me living here most of the year—but I could already hear the sounds of animals. Picking up my hooves, I trotted quickly the last bit of distance, but was careful to keep clear of the wooded area where most of my crops grew.

"Hazel! Clucks!" At their names, my two pet chickens came rushing out. They weren't chickens now, of course. With the plants I grew, and the woods as around them dense, strange magics often took a grip on critters. "I hope you both found plenty of snails while I was gone?"

Two clucking cockatrices rushed up to me and scolded me as only a hen could. "Oh come on, I was gone for one month!" My horn lit with blue magic and I reached to rub each of the "monsters" around their comb and neck. "Anypony sneak in while I was gone?" All I got in reply was more clucking, not that they could tell me anyway.

I reached my front door and opened it. A slightly musty scent greeted me, but it was one I was used to. Long trips were common in my business, but now that I was home I could relax for Spring. I froze in place at the thought of what was to come. A whole quarter of the year spent tending to just one plant: my namesake.

Reaching towards the little lamps one by one, I lit them with my magic. The lights burned blue until they had used up the little burn of my own power, then they lit up a nice, warm yellow-orange. The front of my home was a shop front. Small display cases held various dried, powdered, or resinous herbs, but it was the larger case to one side to which I felt pulled. Stepping over, the perfect blue flower of poison joke was held inside a time-stasis effect.

Just gazing upon it built a kinship inside me—a bond that once it had been forged would never be broken. "Just as I left you." I lifted a pale yellow foreleg up and lightly touched the glass case with my hoof. "Tomorrow, I promise."

Pulling away from the cabinet, I walked in a little daze towards the back of the room, and ducked into the main part of my house. A large mirror faced me, put there deliberately to remind me of who I was, and what I was. I was not just a joker, I took the slang term as my name. I am Joker.

A unicorn with soft yellow fur gazed back at me with the most intense blue eyes in existence. The blue coloring had just one peer in the entirety of Equus: poison joke flowers. A messy, unkempt mane and tail, colored a shade of green a little too light to be the foliage of a plant adorned my head and tail. I barely resembled the pony I had been when I left my parents' home.

"Evening Glitter? Are you still in there somewhere?" I looked at the mare in the mirror, and tried to match her shape to the stallion who had run from his coddling parents' home, desperate to see what his life could be. With a bark of laughter at my shape, I trotted towards the kitchen. "Life is too fun to worry!"

I floated a bowl down, and filled it with rolled oats. Next, a kettle filled with water and positioned over my little stove. A small puff of magic lit the kindling already laid in, but no sooner did I have the water heating, than there was scratching at my back door.

"That had better be you, Scruffy." I walked to the back door, not bothering to light all the lamps. No sooner did I unlatch the door than a timber wolf leaped in at me. Tumbling to my side, I gave no struggle against the huge monster that was busy licking my face. "Scruffy! I wasn't gone that long!"

Despite my protests, I wasn't going to be getting up until Scruffy had made sure he licked me "enough." Finally, the big canine jerked back from me and barked sharply. "Are you done?" My question got another bark, and set me to laughing. "It's good to see you too, boy." Rolling to my belly, I pushed my legs down and regained my footing.

"I don't suppose you saw anypony poking around?" All my question got was another bark. "I could never stay here all year, I would go crazy talking to you lot." I reached out with my magic and ruffled the twigs that made up Scruffy's neck-fur.

The kettle whistling interrupted our moment of bonding. "Just give me a moment, I could eat a whole field of clover right now…" Floating the kettle away from the stove, I poured the boiling hot water over the oats, using a spoon to stir it through. A dollop of honey mixed in, and a dusting of nutmeg and the porridge was complete.

The oats, hot and tasty, went down as well as ever. It wasn't what I normally ate for dinner, but tonight wasn't about putting on something fancy; I just wanted a quick meal so I could sleep. Settling at the table, I started to spoon up the porridge. It was too much, of course. I always made a pile more than I could eat. "Here you go, Scruff." For his part, Scruffy might have been nearly twice my size, but he always waited until I put the bowl on the floor to eat from it.

Gazing out the rear windows of my kitchen, I could see the soft blue glow in a grove of trees. "Tomorrow." I smiled at the promise. My thoughts wandered as Scruffy ate, and I remembered the first time, when I had first become a joker, and when the bane of herbalists became my salvation.


I was running. Of course I was running, my parents had demanded I put on a magic show for them and their guests. After all, their son had passed through his first year at Princess Celestia's private school, and none of their guests tonight had a foal in attendance.

My hooves took me far, clear across the city. Walking right up to the cliff edge, I sat there and let my back legs dangle off the edge. My years were planned out for me. I would continue at Princess Celestia's school (which I actually enjoyed, when my parents weren't showing up to check my grades) until I graduated. Mom had gotten an application already approved for the Canterlot Society of Wizardry, and I would start rising through the ranks there.

"My cutie mark is a vine coiled around a heart, and I got it while working in the school garden, but noooooo…" Using my magic, I lifted a nearby pebble and launched it off the side of Canterlot. At that exact moment a high-pitched scream cut through the air, one that was well-known in the big city. I turned my head to the railway station, and the idea hit me like a thunderbolt.

Standing up like I was in a dream, my hooves took me towards the train. My destiny had a firm hold, or so it felt, and when I walked to the top of the steps I stared at the side of the train.

"Where you off to?" A gruff, middle-aged pony was behind a counter; obviously the ticket counter.

My mouth moved automatically, and I looked up at the stallion station-master. "Where does this train go to?"

"Well now, you have to understand it is late. Normally this train would run clear through to Apple Loosa, or Dodge City, but tonight it stops in Ponyville."

I was reaching to my pouch—school pouch, of course—and plucked out the small bag of bits that held my entire allowance for the month. "A ticket, please?" My head was starting to take back control of my body, but that part of me was telling itself a lie that was so wonderful: just for a night, maybe two, I will be away from Canterlot. Collecting my ticket, I boarded the train for Ponyville.

The ride was short, and entirely downhill. It was full dark by the time we stopped in the little village—only little compared to a city. There was a lot of houses in the town, and I already felt my hooves carrying me from the station, through the town, and right up to the edge of the huge forest.

Geography had been a big class for me, I could tell every part of Equestria just by looking around, not that I had ever had the knowledge actually tested like this. My brain reasoned, "This is either White Tail Woods or the Everfree Forest. Dark trees. Foreboding. Definitely Everfree."

I don't even know why my hoof kept moving. I took a step. Then another. Finally, my head poked between two ancient trees and I could feel the weight of the forest pressing down around me. It was great.

The name of the wildest magic area in Equestria had never made sense before, but to my young, stallion mind it was perfect. Nopony would chase me into here, not at night. Even my parents would not come for me in the Everfree Forest. I had a whole night to spend where only I could decide what to do. Half of me was still outside the forest, but with a laugh and a jump forward, I embraced the wildest of wild lands.

My heart danced along with my hooves. I was free in a way I had never been before, and on the early Spring night the world was both more intense and less worrying than it ever should have been. I skipped and pranced, trotted and gamboled.

From one moment to the next, with my eyes closed, the forest around me dropped to silence. I froze and quickly snapped my eyes open. No huge predator stared at me. No monster that wanted to turn me to stone, or worse. Blue flowers. Soft, pretty, blue flowers were all around me. The moonlight somehow filtered through the dense canopy, lighting this one patch of greenery up.

Leaning down—careful not to step on any of the vivid flowers—I inhaled their scent and shivered. It was a beautiful sight, and one that gripped my plant-focused heart and squeezed. I took a step, or tried to. My back legs seemed caught on something.

Opening my mouth, I dared to speak in the silent glade. "What's going on?" Turning, I gently brushed the green leaves of one of the plants aside to see my hooves pressed to the soft, loamy soil. Pulling up on one back leg, I felt and saw the problem; something was anchoring my hooves to the ground quite firmly. Reaching down carefully with my foreleg, I touched the hard hoof, then pressed down into the soil and could feel the strange flesh below the ground. "Is that a root?"

My legs seemed to have pulled closer together, and I could feel an odd tingling in them. Searching around the dirt to work out how to free myself from the ground, I didn't notice the changes in my legs until I looked back up at them. My back legs had started to fuse together.

Real panic started to grow in me, and I could feel the tingling sensation running up my stifle. When it reached my groin, the entire world changed in an instant. Heat radiated out now, the tingling still spread, but the pulsing waves of pleasure and happiness overwhelmed any of my fears. My back legs stiffened and straightened, and I felt my body tilted and lifted up into the air.

The tingling spread onward, but I was no longer worried. The part of me that could still move—above my croup—trembled in anticipation. I looked down and saw my legs had melded together from hoof to flank. It wasn't strange anymore, it was just how things should be so that I could keep feeling happy and good.

The tingling, and a new stiffness, reached my shoulders and suddenly poured down my forelegs like an avalanche. I watched in delighted surprise as my forelegs tucked in against my body, then slowly merged into my barrel like they were melting and made of taffy. My neck stiffened next, and against my desires of watching my well-stimulated body change, I was forced to tilt my head upwards.

The moon was visible through the trees, and I felt my mouth curving into a smile. Laughter started for a moment, and I couldn't resist the tickling that seemed to spread over me for a few moments. Mid-laugh, with my tongue poking out, I felt the stiffness spread over my face. I was locked in that mad, happy smile, tongue poking out at the world as if everything was the biggest joke of all time.

My eyes rolled upwards, vision locking and fixed on the moon. I could see the dark shape of a pony head on it, but I didn't care. The laughter inside danced through my head, and I felt my body firm up a little more.

I was locked in place. I couldn't move a muscle—part of my mind even tried to argue if I had muscles anymore. Soon, though, the laughter inside filled me so much that even stray thoughts of worry, or confusion couldn't intrude. I relaxed into my new condition easily, kept staring upwards and grinning like a loon, but when the golden light came an explosive rush of happiness washed even the laughter away. The sun rose.

As ever, Celestia lifted it quickly from the horizon, settling it just within range of my eyes. For the first time in my life I could look upon the sun without pain, without soreness, and without the ability to look away. It was beautiful, amazing. I watched it spray its life-giving energy into the world.

The day passed easily. Nothing, it seemed, wished to disturb the plants I was stuck in. When the sun finally set, I felt the white-hot happiness of day lift, and was plunged into a cool pressure of the night. Before the moon could even rise, however, a blue glow above me flared.

For a whole day my vision had been filled partly with my horn, but now it was changing. I stared in mute fascination as the velvet of my horn peeled back like a banana skin, the widening splits revealing the glow inside. Without pain, without panic, I could only watch with that silly grin on my face as my horn blossomed like a flower.

My days drew on through spring. At first, I counted the hot-bright and cool-soft periods, but numbers were hard to think about. Eventually I just didn't care what was happening, so long as I felt either hot-bright or cool-soft. The hot-bright, however, seemed to skip a beat. It should have been hot-bright, but it was still cool-soft. Around me, noises cut through the silence of the forest, and I suddenly fell forward with a cracking sound from below.

I squirmed like a worm in the flowers. I had no usable legs, but I was able to think again. Cool-soft had run on too long, and not only were the plants around me confused, but so was I. All through the cool-soft, I squirmed and wriggled, until just as hot-bright started again, my back legs parted from each other, and I could feel my forelegs coming back together.

I relaxed for a few days, my mind slowly recalling what the hot-bright (day) and the cool-soft (night) meant, and by the time my forelegs had grown enough to carry me even my horn had reformed. I looked around at the glorious blue flowers, and felt a kinship for a plant unlike any I had ever felt before. Plucking one of the big flowers, I tucked it behind my ear and started trotting for what I hoped was Ponyville.

Author's Note:

So I do this "Ask x" thing, x can be any pony within the story. You can ask them anything and I they will definitely hopefully reply. Keep the questions appropriate to the age-rating of the stories and of course, I they will answer the best question(s) in the author notes of the next chapter. The more votes a comment has the more likely I will get it to the right pony to answer, try and keep it to one answer per post! I They will pick one question per chapter.

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