Applejack, Big Mac and Apple Bloom need to pick apples before winter comes. Applejack then gets in a predicament with some bees.
Man this site gets pretty gay.... ~ Commissions are OPEN
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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There are not enough bee-centric stories on the site 👍
I agree with DragonGeek that some of the dialogue wasn't quite right for the characters, but that didn't detract from the story particularly. Your prose is fluid and clear, and all is fine in terms of spelling and grammar. This was great for a first story, and was, as you put it, a cute slice of life.
Now you just need to keep writing until you have more followers than Seventh.
Ya like jazz?
cute af
Sounds like a nice story. But I felt there could have been more comedy from the situation. You could have Applejack going through hours of frustration. If that happened, the part where Fluttershy comes in and does the simple thing to get rid of the bees becomes a lot more comedic, because Applejack wasted several hours of her time for something that was solved with a few kind words.
It was a cute but short story. Though wouldn't her hat protect her head? And would there not be a Fluttershy tag on this story as well? Either way, good read. I hope to see more from you.
I wish I had left a comment on this when you first posted it, honey. I remember telling you about my first story, and how terrible it was. I feel as if I have grown a lot since then in the writing department. But for a first story, this is honestly phenomenal. You may not have the most self-confidence, but you really did a good job and I can't wait to see what else you contribute to the fandom. I love you, and I always will!
Noice.
Cute friend fluff is always welcome! Even with the presence of magitech bug exterminators, it feels true to the show that ponies would still have predicaments over how to handle unwanted buggy guests.
AHHHHH THERE'S BEES IN THIS HERE TREE. Ah ain't touched these apples in over a year. HOW EVER DO I DEAL WITH THIS?!
um, excuse me, Bees, could I just.....
......oh.
Good first outing, to be sure. A bit on the short side, but a good little slice of life oneshot.