• Member Since 26th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Alchemystudent


Loves to read and write, I decided to try writing fanfiction after a long hiatus thanks to ponies

T
Source

[Note: Heart of Worlds is not required reading for this story]

The multiverse, a big place with many versions of the stories we know and love. For every tale of Little Pip defeating Red Eye, there is a another where she is beaten. This is one of those stories, for you all know of the story of the Fall of Starfleet. Of how five mares banded together to free their world from tryanny.

But what if it was different?

What if, that story had an unexpected visitor, in the form of a woman in red and gold armor.

When Friendship's magic falls
And the lights begin to fade
The golden child of the birds
will come
War and Friendship will bond
and the lights will shine again

While there is sex here and there, it's mostly pg and happens off screen. Nothing more than you usually see on Mass Effect

Chapters (4)
Comments ( 14 )

Okay, the set-up is nice, but there are a lot of grammatical errors you need to fix. I think you should have either put this through Grammerly or gotten a proofreader before you put this out, as of right now this feels solely like a rush job.

You had me at Mass Effect. :heart:

8349296
I second this - there is definite potential here, however, the grammar and spelling mistakes definitely detract from the storytelling . An editor or proofreader would definitely help make things more polished.

8349296

8349346


I think for the next chapter, to advoid this problem, I'll get someone else to edit it instead of the co-writer

Let's see, you've referenced George of the Jungle, Watership Down, Digimon, Felidae, Teen Titans, Power Rangers, The Warriors, Red VS Blue, Star Trek, The Flash, Batman, Mass Effect and Metroid so far. What next, Oggy and the Cockroaches?

I only just noticed the letter [r] is missing in the title.

Oh and be sure to explain the differences between Samus and Starfleet when it comes to killing one person to save several lives.

8672107

I was going to address something Mykie brought in his latest blog

8672769

His Starfleet didn't do anything wrong blog

A summary riff found here

8673001
I think I might have missed a few riffs for my list. Do you know what I am missing?

"He's using his rhymes as a means of getting in your head." Samus said,"Some species rhyme naturally as a way of speaking, however others can rhyme to get what they want, like a lover or a soldier. It's not an often used form of hypnosis, but it's very effective on the less-trained. I only know about it because my caretakers, the Chozo, told me ways of detecting and combating it." She clenched her fists,"Figures, in a dictatorship like this, it's not easy to make choices.."

My interpretation involves experience from others, as a form of reinforcement to mind training when dealing with the yahoos we call the Super Smash Brothers... the Chozo are the bricks, the Mortar consist of people like Bayonetta, Paultina, Princess Zelda, Meia the Heretic Witch, Robin and even people like Cloud Strife and Tyro the Librarian... and holding the Trow that brings it together? Wol, the Warrior Of Light & his friend Garland, the Heretic Knight.

It is a nice start and a dangerous horror to what happens when upgrades are lost and such... Discard and Draw is Not a funny thing this time... ps posting from Mobile

Well... THAT happened.
Thanks, Conquest.
Looking forward to the remake.

10608458

Nevertheless. Conquest is still a Evil Dick! I mean, he FRICKIN Rape and all of that hate shit to the Ponies! :twilightangry2: :flutterrage:

I now learn the truth since I read the chapters. And agree that Starfleet F****** Sucks! Star Trek's Starfleet and even Star Wars Old, to the New Republic do have their own Faults, Flaws, and sadly have some Corruption. But they are at least WAY Better than these retarded idiots to MLP Starfleet!

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