• Published 6th Aug 2017
  • 7,945 Views, 611 Comments

If You Want Peace, Prepare For War - tranhdxrbntd

Equestria is at war and she needs help. Before his death, Discord enlists the help of several creatures that are all too familiar with the concept.

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Better to Have and Not Need Than to Need and Not Have

Blueblood rubbed the sides of his head with the edge of his hooves, slowly digesting what he had been told by a team of Equestrian Secret Service agents. Two of his charges snuck out from his supervision, interrupted an important Equestrian Secret Service investigation, killed five ponies, and stole his coin purse in the time span of an hour and a half... For booze.

Both escapees looked at the prince, the shorter of the pair still clutching a bottle of rye whiskey. "To be fair, those two agents needed the help," Eric said. Blueblood immediately started to rub at his head even harder.


Several Equestrian Secret Service(ESS) agents carefully went through the pub's cellar, making sure to take note of what was found. Drugs, guns, explosives, and contraband of the like was present by the metric ton; This was easily the biggest bust in ESS history! Naturally, Vinyl(still wearing her trench coat) was bragging about it to her coworkers while Octavia assisting them in going through the found merchandise.

One pony mused over an important detail from Vinyl's story. "So, wait. You just let the two creatures go?" asked her coworker. Vinyl nodded. "Why didn't you hold them for questioning?!"

Vinyl snorted. "Well, they helped us and I don't think we would have been able to detain the two."

The coworker stared at the mad mare. "But you didn't even try!" he yelled out.

Vinyl shrugged. "Eh, it was fine. They told us where to find them." The coworker balked. Why in the world was she still being fielded by the EAS? She's a mess waiting to happen! "And why aren't you asking why Octy there-," she added while pointing to the cellist. "Why she didn't stop them?"

"Vinyl!" Octavia yelled out.

"Hell, I almost had it in the bag by myself."

"Vinyl!" Octavia yelled, louder this time.

"You should have seen it! I just waltzed in there-" Octavia threw a bucket of water at her partner. Vinyl sputtered for a second before facing her partner. "Alright, I won't embarrass you!"

Octy smiled and drenched Vinyl with another bucket of water to make sure the daft mare was paying attention. "Now that I've caught your focus, I've found something I'd thought you'd like to see." Octy motioned towards a set of four large, identical gun cases stacked on top of each other. Each one was made of metal and had four latches keeping it close while presenting no locks on the outside.

Vinyl reached down and tried to open the case on top of the stack but found herself unable to open any of the latches. "Hey, what gives?"

"Seems like it's magically locked," said Octy with as much smartassness(that's not a word(yes it is)) that she could muster.

Vinyl motioned for one her coworkers to come on over. The coworker in question was a unicorn stallion that sported the image of glimmering padlock as a cutie mark. Three guesses what his special talent was and the first two doesn't count.

His horn lit up and the the top case was enveloped in a light green glow. Seconds later, the glow disappeared and the stallion faced the mares. "Yeah, I can't open this," said the stallion.

Vinyl raised an eyebrow. "And here I thought I was working with the best lockpicker in Equestria?"

The EAS agent frowned. "It's locked with chaos magic."

Vinyl and Octy shared a worried look. "That's impossible, Discord is dead," stated Octavia. He knew that. She knew that. Everypony knew that. It was a fact.

Vinyl looked at the cases again and noticed a small note attached to the side of the case, something that she hadn't noticed before. She tore off the note and everypony crowded against her to see what it said.

Vinyl and Octy shared another look.


More knocks were made on the door to the residence that housed Blueblood and Co. When the door was opened revealing more EAS agents, Blueblood entered a new state of irritation. "What is it now?"

Vinyl and Octy pushed pass the prince, the latter of the two carrying four long gun cases in her magic, and into the house. Despite the protests of the angry prince, they found who they were looking for. Sitting around a dining room table were the four humans, all of which were currently drinking.

Eric and Tran immediately recognized the two ponies. "Need something?" Eric asked. Vinyl placed set the cases down onto the ground while Octavia handed him the note that was previously attached to it.

Dear whoever finds this note,

Yes, I know I'm dead. It's entirely possible for me to have placed this here before I died in preparation for the future. I'd like to explain more but we're getting off topic. The more important question to answer is: What's in the box?!?! Sorry, I can't tell you nor can I let you be the one to open it. The only thing capable of opening them are these strange biepdal and tall creatures that I'm sure are the talk of Equestria right now whether they're already dead or not. Either way, you won't be able to open it.


"Should we open them?" Eric asked.


Everyone in the room looked at Logan who had already grabbed a case and started to unlatch it. "What?" Logan asked as he undid the last latch. He carefully lifted up the lid and peeked inside.

Vinyl frowned, being unable to see it's contents. "Well, what's in it?" she asked with a sense of irritation.

Logan closed the case and looked back at everyone else. "Something awesome," he answered. He opened up the case, making sure to not show everyone what it was, and reach into it. After a bit of fumbling, he pulled out a pump action shotgun. "This is my Remington 870." He reached back into the case, pulled out a strange rectangular foot long tube, and started screwing it onto the end of the shotgun. "And my Salvo 12." After the suppressor was fully attached, he racked back on the pump. "Only holds five rounds but at least the barrel is flush with the magazine tube."

The three ponies in the room looked at the over four foot long shotgun. "That thing is enormous!" Blueblood said.

Octavia eyed the Salvo 12. "Pray tell, what is a Salvo 12?" she asked.

Logan smiled. "Suppressor."

Octavia raised an eyebrow. "Pray tell, what is a suppressor?"

"Makes the gunshot quiet."

Octavia looked at the one foot long tube affixed to the shotgun. "You mean a silencer?"

Logan felt like punching her in the mouth. "Its a suppressor!"

Octavia noticed that he tensed up and took a mental note. "Wait, I thought those were only for .22s and you could only put them on rifles."

"Nope," Logan answered.

Deciding that he had seen enough, Wilson grabbed one of the long cases and unlatched it. Opening it up, it revealed a pump action shotgun... A small pump action shotgun... A really small pump action shotgun. The entire thing looked to be slightly over a foot in length and was rather comical looking considering it was the only thing in the meter and a half long(about five feet) long rifle case. Wilson blinked, unsure of what he was seeing.

Logan, who was finally finished with being smitten with his own shotgun, took one look at Wilson's shotgun and guffawed. "It's perfect for you," Logan commented. Wilson angrily turned to Logan and punched him in the stomach. Clutching his stomach, Logan stopped laughing. "Worth it."

Tran looked at the tiny shotgun. "It still has its uses."

Octavia eyed the short magazine tube. "How many shells does that thing even hold? Three?"

Wilson wanted to ignore the question but it was an honest question asked without any sense of intended irritation. "Two."

Octavia looked at Logan's shotgun and then to his. "Was this one of your own personal weapons?" Octavia pointed to Logan's Remington 870. "Like his?"

"Yes," he answered.

Eric looked at the tiny thing(the shotgun, not Wilson). "Why would you buy that? Like, how much does it hurt to shoot?"

Wilson looked at the shotgun and then to Tran's .500 S&W. "Bad." He pointed at Tran's hand cannon. "But nowhere near as bad as that thing."

Logan smiled and remembered something important about the shotgun. "Someone guess what it's called." Before anyone could answer, he had already spouted out the answer. "The Serbu Super Shorty Shotgun." While Wilson was even more irritated, Logan wasn't wrong. The shotgun itself was indeed a Serbu Super Shorty Shotgun and was actually built off of the same model of shotgun that Logan got. It pretty much existed to be a short 12 gauge shotgun.

Eric eyed the third rifle case, shrugged, and then grabbed it. He quickly unlatched it and opened it up, revealing that the meter and a half long case contained a singular pistol and a half dozen loaded magazines. "I want to say that I'm mad but I'm not." He pulled the pistol out of the case and checked that it wasn't loaded. Happy with the unloaded pistol, he tucked it into his belt while grabbing the magazines.

Vinyl felt offended. "Aren't you gonna tell us what you got?"

Eric looked at the mare. "Competition grade Walther PPQ, 9mm pistol with a seventeen round capacity. Yes, it's mine. Plain and simple," he marely stated.

Vinyl removed her headphones when she realized one very notable fact about what he had said. "Did you say it holds seventeen rounds?"

Eric held up one of the magazines for her to see. He noticed that she still wasn't having it so he started to eject each round slowly for her to see. Indeed, seventeen rounds popped out of the magazine.

Vinyl was incredulous at the literal pile of bullets that came out of the magazine. "Can I have it?" Eric said nothing but the fact that he quickly tucked the pistol back into his belt answered her question.

Everyone in the room, even Blueblood of all ponies, impatiently looked at Tran. "What?" he asked.

"Open yours up!" Vinyl demanded.

Tran shrugged. "Maybe later." Logan grabbed the fourth case and started to unlatch it, only to find that it wasn't opening up for him. Tran really wanted to wait but decided that he was gonna take pity on them. He grabbed the case and opened it up for everyone to see. Inside was another pistol, a half dozen loaded magazines, and a smaller version of Logan's Salvo 12 suppressor. Before anyone could really take notice of any notable features of the pistol, Tran had already picked it up and tucked it into his belt.

Eric suddenly realized how offended Vinyl felt while she felt even more offended. "No! Don't you dare do that too!" Vinyl said, almost yelling.

"1911, 45 caliber pistol. Holds fifteen rounds," Tran answered. It was a Remington R1 enhanced double stack 1911 chambered in .45 ACP and it was set up for a suppressor. This meant that it had raised iron sights and was threaded for the suppresor that came with it. Now if only Tran had told everyone that instead of just thinking about what it was.

"Wait, I thought 1911s hold eight rounds?" Wilson asked.

"Usually," Tran answered.

Before anyone could ask more questions, a loud knock came from the door. Blueblood trotted over to answer the door but it swung open before he reached it. The open door revealed their new guest. The pony standing in the doorway was easily the tallest pony the humans had seen yet. She would have been able to walk through the front door(barely) if her horn hadn't added added a further foot to her height. Every human being noticed that this was the first pony they've met that had both wings and a horn.

Princess Celestia ducked her head down and walked into the building. "I'd like to speak to a Tran if he is present."

Author's Note:

I only own one gun that recoils worse than my .500 S&W. What is it? A black powder double barrel 10 gauge shotgun that I cut down. Barrel is 13" long and total length is 20". Whole thing weighs less than 2 pounds. The last time I fired it with a heavy load, the thing recoiled far and fast enough to put cut my index finger with the trigger guard and my middle finger with the front trigger. Mind you, I only fired 1 barrel.

Edit: Huh, I got featured 20/04/2019

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