• Published 6th Aug 2017
  • 5,851 Views, 460 Comments

Regarding: Gary Stu - Bed Head



Twilight Sparkle makes a shocking discovery about Equestria's greatest hero.

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Dear Princess Celestia 2

Dear Princess Celestia,

Oh my gosh I can’t believe Gary can actually see the future! I mean I knew something was superspecialabouthimbecauseIgotafunnycombomostlyinmytummybutwithsomeweirdkneetwitch


Dear Princess Celestia,

I hope you’ll forgive the lateness of this letter. As expected, Rainbow Dash is not an easy pony to catch when she’s motivated.

Fortunately, if nothing else, I’ve learned just when to rely on my friends for help since moving to Ponyville. Also fortunately, Pinkie Pie had noticed Rainbow’s rather enthusiastic response to the news about Gary and had come to the (somewhat presumptuous but understandable) conclusion that she was celebrating something. After convincing her the situation was somewhat more dire, Pinkie Pie was most helpful in stopping Rainbow Dash before she got too far in her search.

At this point I feel I need to apologize, Princess. After seeing Rainbow Dash’s overreaction I realize how my own response to my discoveries must have seemed to you and Spike. And to Gary as well, I suppose. Small wonder he tried to run if I looked half as angry as Rainbow Dash did!

Still, I’m trying to follow your advice about over-stressing myself. There’s nothing I can do about how I acted before except maybe offering Mister Stu an apology for imprisoning him in my basement after this is all over.

Assuming, of course, that he’s worthy of such an apology. I still have my personal doubts that he is, but I’ll wait until you’ve reviewed the story disks before I elaborate on my reasoning.

In the meantime my next letter should include two reports seeing as I’ve had the opportunity now to appraise Pinkie Pie of the situation with Gary Stu. Spike is currently taking dictation for her letter and, assuming Rainbow Dash has calmed herself enough to remove her gag, I’ll be handling her report.

Your faithful student,

Twilight Sparkle

P.S.

On a side note, do you know of any research papers regarding the tensile strength of party streamers? Pinkie Pie somehow has managed to keep Rainbow Dash restrained with some of hers and I’ll more than likely just file that as another “It’s just Pinkie Pie” phenomena but it never hurts to be thorough.


Dear Princess Celestia,

I can’t believe I’ve been friends with such a no good dirty liar this whole time! If I ever get my hooves on Gary I’m gonna teach him a few lessons and they are not gonna be ones he can write to you about

(My apologies again, Princess. Rainbow Dash seemed much calmer so I allowed her to start writing this letter herself. I know I’m in no position to be faulting her for being angry, but it’s probably safer if I take dictation until she proves she can have more decorum when addressing royalty.)

So right. Gary.

I’m not gonna lie. When Twi showed up saying Gary had known all about us and our adventures before they even happened, I laughed. I mean, wouldn’t you? It sounded like the start of some kind of prank on either me or Gary.

Okay, it was a joke that didn’t make much sense, but I just figured it was Twilight’s first try.

Then she used that memory sharing spell of hers to show me some of what she’d seen in Gary’s story disks. After I shook off the headache that spell gave me because that was a lot of stuff to just dump into my brain (I did apologize for that. A lot — Twilight) I realized she wasn’t making this stuff up.

So at first I was like, “Okay cool! Gary knows the future even better than Pinkie does!”

But then I thought about it for a sec. See, Gary knew everything that was gonna happen to us. It’s not like when Pinkie gets those weird feelings and has to figure out what they mean. He knew every last little detail.

The reason I got so mad was because that meant he knew about my Sonic Rainboom at the Best Young Fliers Competition before I ever pulled it off.

You know, I thought Gary was nice. He and Fluttershy were cheering me on while I practiced, he came up to Cloudsdale with the others when Twilight found that cloud-walking spell, and he even kept encouraging me when I got a lit when Rarity entered the contest too!

The thing is, he didn’t try to stop Rarity from entering.

And no, I’m not mad because Gary let Rarity enter with those froo-froo sparkly butterfly wings and made me ner gave me some stiffer competition. Not by a longshot.

I’m mad because he knew Rarity was gonna fall during the contest and he didn’t do a thing to stop it! AND HE DIDN’T DO A THING TO STOP IT!

Gary was waiting in the stands to pick me up when I crashed. He acted all worried when he saw how high Rarity was flying. But he never told her to stay out of the competition! He didn’t even remind her the wings were super fragile! He never said a single thing! He just sat back and watched it all happen and then when Rarity was falling and even the Wonderbolts were in trouble he was all like “No! Nopony could get to them fast enough!” Well what if he’d been right? WELL WHAT IF HE’D BEEN RIGHT?!?

I thanked him for supporting me and pushing me so I could do the Sonic Rainboom, but he knew it was gonna happen all along! Worse, he knew it would happen in exactly the way he let happen! Why?! Rarity could’ve been hurt or worse and he could have said something but he didn’t do it and for what? Just so I could pull off some cheesy stunt and win some dumb contest?

What else isn’t he telling us? Am I supposed to come up with something even better than the Sonic Rainboom? Set a new Equestrian World Record? Finally become a Wonderbolt? If I am, then what’s the cost? Who else is Gary gonna let get put in danger or hurt or you-only-know-what-else just because he thinks it’s supposed to go that way? How am I supposed to be okay with any of that?

Well I’m not. It’s one thing if that stuff happens on its own and nopony could’ve stopped it but Gary could’ve done or said something to keep my friend safe and he didn’t. What if that happens again or, worse, he pushes somepony else into danger just so things happen like how he saw?

My dreams aren’t worth that. Nothing is worth that. Maybe I got a bit of an ego when everypony started treating me like a hero, but I never carried things that far. If Gary can’t realize that’s wrong then it doesn’t matter if he’s trying to help us. He’s no hero and he’s definitely no friend of mine anymore.

Your faithful citizen,

Rainbow Dash

(My apologies for the obvious grammatical faux-paxs above, that was the result of letting Rainbow Dash proofread the letter. She insisted that if she wasn’t allowed to write it herself that I at least made it clear how much she wanted to stress certain parts. I’ll include a version with proper capitalization later.

Your faithful student,

Twilight Sparkle)


(Dear Princess Celestia,

Today I learned that it’s totally possible to write so fast that you set the parchment on fire.

Also it looks like when I do it it lights up with my message flames. Go figure. But that’s why you probably got a really short and kinda burnt-up letter a few minutes ago. Sorry about that! Pinkie Pie said she’ll take it slower for me on this one.

Your favorite dragon,

Spike)

Dear Princess Celestia,

Sooooooo Gaaaaaarrrryyyyyy

(I told Pinkie she could go a bit faster. — Spike)

So Gary can see the future like me? That is so amazingly super-awesome! I’ve never ever met another pony let alone a human that has anything like my Pinkie Sense before! Though I guess I’d never met a human before Gary so maybe they all can do that?

Anyway that just means so much about Gary makes sense now! I’d always wondered about stuff like how he’d know the lyrics for the songs I made up or manage to figure out just what sort of places I was gonna pop out of when I had something to tell everypony or

(I’m sorry I can’t keep up anymore, my claws are starting to cramp! But Pinkie’s right. She’s the most unpredictable pony in town but she’s never managed to surprise Gary. She’s basically just listing a bunch more examples of that.

Also something about porridge and oatmeal I think. — Spike)

Alright, serious stuff now. Gary’s story disks sound like a super-double-ultra-powered-up version of my Pinkie Sense cuz they’re what told Gary what’s supposed to happen. And thinking back it sounds like Gary was just trying to be a super-double-ultra-powered-up Pinkie Pie by using everything he knew to help everypony! I mean, he knew to keep me company so I didn’t wind up spoiling my own surprise party that the girls were planning to throw for me! Not to mention Applejack’s family reunion today or helping me find musical instruments to stop the Parasprites or even convincing Spike here that Twilight wasn’t trying to replace him with Owlowiscious!

What’s even more amazing is just how accurate he is! I mean, when I get a Pinkie Sense I gotta figure a lot of stuff out and sometimes I don’t always get it totally right or even figure out what a combo means until after I see what it was trying to warn me about. But Gary hasn’t been wrong about anything yet! Hey, do you think I could come up to Canterlot and watch some of those story disks with you? We could have popcorn and see what other sort of stuff is gonna happen or was supposed to happen! Like, I wonder what they say about the Crystal Empire since they don’t have Gary there

Princess? Sorry for the crayon writing but Spike just went to Twilight and took his quill with him. I dunno what happened he just got a funny look on his face when I mentioned the Crystal Empire. Weeeeeiiiiirrrrrd.

I mean I bet I already know what happens anyway. If Gary wasn’t the one that saved the Crystal Heart in the disks then Twilight must’ve managed to do it just like you wanted!

Oh gosh wow I just realized that whole Crystal Empire thing was supposed to be a test for Twilight and if Gary saved the day when she was supposed to then no wonder she got so mad at him ‘cuz I know you said she passed anyway but what if she was supposed to save the day and like super pass the test and maybe prove she’s ready to become a princess herself or something and OH MY GOSH I GOTTA GO BAKE SOMETHING FOR TWILIGHT RIGHT NOW NO WONDER SHE’S SO GROUCHY ABOUT THIS!

Your faithful citizen,

Pinkie Pie

P.S.

Say hi to Princess Luna for me! Also I know the One-year Anniversary of her return is coming up soon, so can you find out what kind of cake she’d like?

P.P.S.

I can hear Twilight and Spike talking up in my room so I'd better get this letter to them first! Toodles!

Author's Note:

So I want to toss up a little note here before folks begin tossing accusations of "copy catting" or anything like that my way.

Yes, I'm well aware that my primary inspiration for this story uses a similar plot point of their HiE saving the Crystal Empire in Spike's place. I do intend for this to help develop the story but I'm also gonna admit here and now to a bit of author bias.

Anyone who's read my other stories, blog, or just glanced at my library can tell I'm a Spike fan. So when the trend for HiE stories tends to look like "Okay, yes my Original Character [do not steal] fought Sombra to a total standstill and protected the city from his attack BUT Spike still saved the Crystal Heart and destroyed Sombra like he did in canon which means my ponysona OC can't be a Stu!" you might understand how that irks me.

Cuz if you're going that far what's the difference between all that and just saving the heart yourself?

As mentioned before the only thing my Gary Stu has going for him is foreknowledge rather than being turned into a pony or "staying human but mysteriously being able to use magic because reasons". Hence while I'd have liked to go whole-hog for the most overpowered character imaginable I think you can see where my options are somewhat limited.