• Published 2nd Aug 2017
  • 484 Views, 37 Comments

30 Days/ 30 Stories - Fenton



One story per day for the whole month of August. Read with caution.

  • ...
0
 37
 484

Behind Closed Doors

Being a royal guard was easy. All Spearhead had to do was to stand still. It was so easy that it sometimes became even boring. Aside from escorting an angry pony from the Royal Court to the exit — yes, the princess has clearly heard you the first time, and no, she won’t be convinced because you raised your voice — there wasn’t really much action. Moreover, the angry ponies just had to take a look at the spear to immediately become cooperative.

If only they knew the spears were made of plastic. After the twentieth guard hurting himself by falling asleep on the real ones, Celestia had to intervene. Spearhead had wondered for a long time how they managed to hurt themselves with their weapon. It wasn’t like they didn’t get basic training to learn which way they were supposed to hold a spear, and the dangerous part was at the end of a long stick, theoretically far away from the wielder. But then, one fateful day, he saw it. Nightmares plagued him for weeks afterward.

In the end, the real weapons had been hidden all around the castle, their locations known only to a selected elite of the more capable soldiers, ready for an emergency that would never come.

Spearhead sighed and turned his head to watch the other side of the corridor.

After the princess’ sister return, the castle had been a lot more animated for a while. Not only Princess Luna had to adjust to a world she had missed for one thousand years, but the guards had also been enrolled to move back all of her furniture. Spearhead had enjoyed this change of pace, but unfortunately there were only so many nightstands one could move. Moreover, Princess Luna had revealed to be a quick learner and, soon enough, she had grasped the main ins and outs.

He missed the days when Luna was coming to him with so many questions. He had never understood why the Princess had chosen him. She seemed to like him, and Spearhead was more than happy to fulfill any of Luna’s requests, or to answer any of her questions.

Spearhead sighed again and turned his head back when a moan came from behind the door he was guarding. A door leading to Luna’s appartements.

He shook his head, unsure if he had really heard that. A second moan, followed by an audible “yes”, confirmed his suspicion and made him blush.

He had heard a lot of things from behind the doors but this one was new. He tried to distract himself by staring at the carpet. It was a really beautiful carpet, probably a gift from Saddle Arabia. The frame was stitched with golden threads, the center piece representing the first agreement between the two countries. Celestia had her wings stretched to show —

Another moan.

Where was he? Right, the carpet. Celestia had her wings stretched to show that her love reached ponies from all around the world, no matter where they came from —

A moan, a yes and a moan.

— no matter where they came from: Equestria, Saddle Arabia or even a still undiscovered land beyond the seas. It made him think that he would like to be a part of an expedition someday. Discovering new lands, meeting new species, that would surely be an amazing experience, without taking account it would mean he wouldn’t be guarding doors behind which a Princess was likely to have a good time.

Come on, he scolded himself. You’ve seen worst. It’s just a normal thing grown ponies do. And Princess Luna probably missed this thing during her long banishment.

The sound of a door opening behind startled him.

“Spearhead?” said Princess Celestia.

Spearhead turned around and quickly bowed, both to observe the etiquette and to hide his deep blush.

“Be a dear and go fetch us a ten liters bucket, a box of nails and a tube of lubricant.”

Spearhead didn’t waste time and ran away in search for the items.

With her sister? he thought. I know that one thousand years alone is probably a very long time but —.

He stopped his train of thought, too scared to follow it and see where it could lead to. He had a task and he focused on it, not on Celestia’s frazzled mane.

It took him only five minutes to gather everything and to go back in front of the door. He was about to knock when he heard moaning once again.

His hoof froze a few centimeters away. Should he wait? Should he simply put the items in front of the door and leave, no matter what would be the consequences for abandoning his post?

He gathered all the courage he could muster, gulped, and finally knocked.

This time Luna’s face appeared. “Thou hast been hasty. We shall reward thee later.”

The princess grabbed the items and slammed the doors.

Spearhead went back to his place, and the moans kept on.


One hour and a half later, after Spearhead had counted the tiles on the floor — he wouldn’t have thought there would be more than four thousands — and tried to guess how many threads there were in the carpet, the doors reopened, and the two sisters walked past him, oblivious to his terrified expression.

“So, didn’t I tell you you would love it?” asked Celestia.

“Thou were right, sister. We’ve never felt so great for a very long time,” replied her sister. “We must admit, it was a bit hard at the beginning, and a bit painful, but once the first gap crossed, it came without much effort.”

That’s it. I quit tomorrow and become an artist. Less stable but becoming insane is actually a bonus.

“And how do you call it?” asked Luna.

“It’s called yoga,” said Celestia. “You usually don’t need a machine to do it, but I thought it would help you, considering you lack training.”

Spearhead let out a very loud sigh, and the two princesses glanced at him with curious eyes.

“What is it, Spearhead?” asked Celestia.

“N-nothing, your Highness.”

“You seem very tense today, Spearhead. Have you considered trying yoga?”

Author's Note:

This one is a bit late, but it was worth it. Overused joke is overused, nothing new here. The whole thing is a writing exercise, and I think you need to learn how to properly do what has already been done before trying anything new.

Proofread by an awesome guy.

See you tomorrow.