Chapter 7: Court
“Don’t you think this is a bad idea?” Hayden asked, shifting uncomfortably on her hooves. After spending well over a month naked most of the time, putting on so much clothing felt strange. The fact that it was an overblown, elaborate dress certainly didn’t help matters.
Hayden had finished construction in her room, or at least most of it. Even so, Luna had insisted they would see her clothier on the other side of the castle. A crowd of gawking ponies lingered just outside, passing by the shut door far more often than Hayden suspected traffic normally traveled.
Hayden now stood in the center of a raised platform, with mirrors on three sides. This gave her a good view of what the clothier was doing—pretty much what she would expect. There were measurements to take, measurements of every conceivable part of her body. Now she was measuring the fit of the dress, occasionally pinning something up and asking for Hayden to move.
“I’m not at liberty to question—”
“Forget that for a second,” Hayden interrupted, glaring at Nightbreeze’s reflection in the mirror. She seemed to get the message. “Yes yes, you agree with all your princess does. You’re a loyal steward fine fine. Suppose another princess brought another stranger from far away, and she had my manners. Would it be wise for that princess to bring that stranger to court?”
Nightbreeze hesitated, as though contemplating the loophole. She spoke slowly, hesitantly. “There is… some reason to suspect it might not be the worst decision.”
“Oh, great. That’s—” She squeaked suddenly, as the clothier tightened something around her barrel. “Whatever you just did, put it back. That’s too tight.”
“Some lady you are,” the portly mare huffed, somehow talking with a mouth full of pins.
But how an earth pony could do this job at all, Hayden didn’t know. They were all handicapped by their bodies, yet few of them seemed to notice. The whole society shouldn’t be possible without thumbs, but apparently nobody had told them.
“Likewise.” Hayden thumped one hoof. “Looser.” Then she looked back to Nightbreeze. “How is it not the worst?”
“Well, the princess is bringing you to a presentation of houses… it’s all ritual, all formality. Only the lords and ladies of Equestria’s great houses will even speak. Most of them say the same lines every year. The chances of one of them addressing you are miniscule.”
“There’s a party after,” she pointed out. “Luna said so. Said it would be the best food I’d ever had.”
Nightbreeze and the clothier both winced as Hayden said just “Luna.” But Hayden hadn’t yet broken that habit. “Yes.” Nightbreeze looked away. “But Princess Celestia dines with the lords and ‘adies. Princess Luna eats with the troops. And you know military ponies.”
She shook her head. “Not really. I don’t think my military had much in common with yours.”
Nightbreeze chuckled. “You wait and see. Not a pony in there will dare ask about you. They won’t address you, unless you speak to them. All you have to do is remain silent, and… and nothing could possibly go wrong.”
“You sound convinced.” Hayden rolled her eyes, flicking her tail backward towards the door. “You saw the crowd, didn’t you? Don’t you think the lords and ladies of whatever are going to hear? I want to help the princess, but… from what I’ve been reading, your customs are complex. I need time to memorize everything. I’m already breaking the prime directive by being here, can’t you at least let me try to blend in?”
“I have no idea what that is,” Nightbreeze said, unamused. “How much longer, Pinstripe?”
“Not much, thank the moon,” Pinstripe said, looking back up from her work. “I’ll have it ready by tomorrow mornin’, you can count on that. A few more, and I’ll be able to let the suffering captive free.”
“I’m right here,” Hayden muttered. “I can hear you.”
“Good,” Pinstripe grunted, looking back at her. “Then you know I mean it.” She lowered her voice to a mutter, glaring at nothing. “Wigglin’ like a filly, complaining all the time…”
Hayden resisted the temptation to argue with this mare. One of the first who hadn’t treated her like a superior, even though she was one of Luna’s staff.
“So, there’s no chance of any of the really bad things happening?” Hayden asked, a little of her fear returning. “Even though Luna will be taking me as a lady of her house? The… only lady of a house that’s literally never had one?”
“Such as?” Nightbreeze laughed again. “Sometimes I wonder if the lady spends too much time in books—Jest, we aren’t barbarians. Do you see any beaks on us, or claws? What do you expect, carnivores?”
What I wouldn’t give for a steak right about now. Each time she had asked for meat with one of her meals, Nightbreeze thought she was joking. The books Luna had her reading were explicit on the same point—ponies were herbivores. Hayden felt no disgust when she contemplated the idea of a rare steak, maybe served sizzling off the grill with mushrooms and a tall glass of beer. Her mouth watered even now, just thinking about it.
“No, I guess not,” she said. “But what about duels? If Luna gets challenged, I’m the only one who could defend her honor! I’d have to accept on her behalf!”
Nightbreeze laughed again, and this time even Pinstripe joined in. “Challenge a princess?” she finally asked, grinning. “You haven’t forgotten who her sister is, right? That would be like Celestia letting the Royal Guard fight a battle with the army. That could never happen and never would.”
“All done,” Pinstripe proclaimed. “Hold still now. We’ll get this off.”
Hayden groaned, but held still. It would probably take at least ten more minutes to get her free. “They seem pretty mad at each other right now.”
“Families fight,” Nightbreeze said. “That’s not the same. Those are for the great houses to settle disputes among themselves… and when they do happen, ponies never get seriously hurt. Stop having nightmares about nothing—you have Princess Luna to watch over you. Everything will be fine.”
Hayden walked slowly behind Princess Luna, exactly one body-length behind and one third to the right. It was a position of high honor—the highest anypony could have, without being the princess’s husband.
What the castle servants had done a few days before had nothing on this. The castle had more than just servants in it this time, but hundreds of visitors—more ponies in each hall than Hayden had ever seen in one place. She was stunned at their variety—all three tribes were represented here, and almost everyone was dressed in stunning array. Noble suits for the stallions, trailing down their backs, and huge gowns for the mares often glittering with jewelry.
Hayden had asked for a suit, but Pinstripe had laughed at that request the same way she laughed whenever she “accidentally” jabbed Hayden with a pin. And she had to begrudge the royal clothier that at least—she knew how to make a dress.
Hayden caught her reflection in mirrors, in glass, in crystal sculptures, and each time she scarcely believed it. Her gown was made of several semitransparent shades of gray and blue and white, which gave the illusion of twinkling stars when she walked.
Modesty seemed little to do with the way ponies dressed, because there was no rhyme or reason to what any of the outfits covered. The entire purpose was decorative, and Princess Luna had apparently spared little expense decorating her.
True to Celestia’s orders, the dress did not conceal her wings. She had trimmed the fur around her ears a little, but that was all. There was no way one of the ponies could look at her body and mistake her for anything but a freak.
Hayden had never felt like a freak before. More accurately, she had never thought different wings and better night vision made her a freak. But she felt like one now—every hallway they entered fell quiet, every pony they passed stared at her back as though slabs of rotten meat had been stapled there instead of wings. She couldn’t hear most of what they said—they were too discreet about their whispers. But from the looks on their faces, she could tell it wasn’t friendly.
But Luna’s procession wasn’t just her—it had a dozen soldiers—strong stallions in silvery barding, with real spears on their backs and sharpened blades on their wings. They didn’t move like the castle guards in their fancy gold armor, either. They prowled, eyes scanning every passerby, every doorway, even the air above them.
These men have seen action. Recently. Why haven’t I ever asked if Equestria is at war?
There was no time left for asking that—Nightbreeze wasn’t here. Speaking to the princess in public would be monumentally stupid—she knew enough for that. Luna wanted to send me home. I’m the one who wanted to stay and help. Time to man up.
It was hard to do that when she was no longer male.
At least she didn’t have much further to go. She wasn’t walking through a hallway so much as a spectacular ballroom, with a ceiling several stories high and glittering chandeliers glowing with self-illuminated crystals. The ballroom itself already smelled like delicious food, with table after table surrounded by servants scrambling to prepare it for the party that was to come. A band was setting up by the other side of the room, though Hayden didn’t recognize many of the instruments. They looked like they belonged in ancient history, just like the architecture and the customs.
A pair of three-story doors was already open, with more castle guards waiting at them. They all straightened and saluted Luna as they entered, though the motion seemed a little begrudging. That’s right, Celestia is in charge of these. Celestia controls the police while Luna runs military. Guess they don’t get along.
Of all the ponies who gave her dark looks as she made her way through the castle, the solar guard were the worst. They glared at Hayden as though they thought she might leap on one of the ponies and try to suck their blood. She glared right back, grinning with her pointed fangs. I only look like a vampire, stupid. Horse meat is much too tough for me.
The room was packed. Towards the back, Hayden got her first glimpse of common ponies—most of them were naked, and smelled like bathing was an infrequent practice for them. Well… the nobility smelled that way too, only they had perfumes and oils to make the smell more bearable.
If anything, the back rows were less unpleasant. Just smells like a barn.
The room was lit by towering windows on either side, almost as tall as the door and flung open to permit a breeze. Tapestries hung beside them, each one depicting something interesting, but Hayden didn’t get a chance to look. I’ll have to come back and study these later.
Further up in the room were the merchants and leaders of guilds, the ones rich enough to afford a place on wooden benches (and a spot at the feast to come). A mare near the back stopped, pointed at Hayden with one hoof, and screamed.
Her voice was faint, lost in the din of a thousand voices. But Luna heard it, her head snapping back to glare at the mare, silencing her immediately. Hayden stiffened, but she didn’t stop walking, didn’t stumble. That’s right, freak out all you want. You’re all horses pretending to be people, I’m the one laughing. It was like the underwear trick Hayden had heard for public speaking, only easy mode. Humans in underwear couldn’t look half as stupid as a room full of renaissance faire barn animals.
At the very front of the room was a towering throne, wide enough at the top for two ponies to sit. Benches were erected in tiers on both sides of the room—one set overflowing with ponies in the richest clothing yet, and the other empty save for a smattering of ponies in military-looking uniforms. The front row was completely empty.
It was exactly like the halls leading here. As they made it to the front and ponies saw who was following Luna, all of them hushed. The silence passed through the whole room like a wave, and Hayden could feel the weight of thousands of eyes on her back.
Some were scared, some were angry. Princess Celestia was harder to read, though even she was watching Hayden with skepticism. That, and maybe a little surprise. You didn’t think I had the balls. Well, just because Luna took them away doesn’t mean I can’t be braver than anyone in here.
Hayden decided in that moment that she didn’t care what they thought. This wasn’t her world, not her countrymen, not her concerns. Luna was a princess—she didn’t have to follow the trends, she could set them! Hayden would do likewise. They’ll be wearing our blue jeans and listening to our rock music in no time.
Hayden took her seat in the very front row, acting completely oblivious to the stares. She didn’t do the elegant prance all the other mares were doing either, sitting half-exposed so that their backs did something she could only guess was supposed to be seductive. Instead, she imitated the military ponies already sitting down, plopping down onto her haunches with a thump and staring straight ahead.
Nopony laughed. Nopony spoke.
Until Celestia did. “Well, now that my dear sister Princess Luna and her… guest… have arrived, we may begin.”
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I don't think maxing out Tourism is going to work too well, Hayden. The logistics involved boggle the mind.
In any case, great setup chapter. I can only imagine how the evening will go from here. I just hope that goetic link doesn't backfire. If they hate and fear Luna now...
Loving every chapter.
So, they are more scared of her sister. Understandable.
It's a Loyalty matter
Ive got to ask, Is Hayden now ageless as from the previous chapter, She is conected to luna as far as injury goes, so does that also mean that as long as luna lives so will Hayden
8411745
Didn´t Celestia stop to think for a moment that maybe bullying the co-ruler in control of the military could be a very bad idea on the long run?
Celestia is taking a much colder personality in this story. Not OOC, but not like she is in the show either. I just hope you don't make her too xenophobic.
8411847
I don't intend to make her xenophobic. But at the same time, I feel like the history we see in the show is more through Celestia's eyes. The winners write history, as they say, and that includes a lot of personal biases as well as making our own actions not seem as bad in hindsight. That's why I've given myself the AU tag here--so we can make the odds arrayed against Luna a little more significant than "I was sad nobody stayed up at night."
8411855
Ah ok. I like that. Makes the story more realistic and relatable.
Now that is the right attitude! So much respect for Hayden.
Ironic that ponies consider bat wings freakish when you consider that bat wings are mammalian while pegasus wings are avian; ponies are mammals, not birds. Who are the freaks of nature now, huh?
You said it, mare! Such silly ponies wearing their fancy pants and frilly dresses.
Sometimes you get unexpected results when you try to shame someone who has nothing to be ashamed of.
Celestia goes for diplomatic victory. Hayden goes for cultural.
God help them, someone with no knowledge of royal culture is about to anticipate in a royal event. May the gods have mercy on them.
I foresee a Hayden well loved by the army. If there's one branch of power that would worship superior technology, that's it.
Can barely wait for more!
8411757
Now that I think about it... You're right
There's silence from the assembled until the ruler speaks, I see, but I wonder do Celestia and Luna take turns being the one to open a feast, or if Celestia gets to do it every time.
8412309
Older Celestia might go for diplomatic victory, but it seems young Celestia is more about the aggression.
Unless you somehow think slamming someone into a bookcase with enough force to break bone is diplomatic.
8417559
Threats are legitimate part of negotiations. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I'd say that if you manage to persuade someone to accept your part of the deal with threats of violence without carrying out the actual beating, you did your job as a diplomat.
But I was talking more about all these nobles sucking up to Celestia and placing niceness embargoes on Hayden and Luna. What could be more diplomatic than that?
8417739
Those seem very mutually exclusive to me.
I rather think it's less that they're sucking up to Celestia, but rather that Hayden is an unknown, intimidating individual. Obviously less so to someone who moved the sun, but to a regular pony she's definitely spooky.
Making regular bathing a thing... yes thats important