I was about to post a snarky comment about this ridiculousness but the. I remembered it's fimfic porn

Personally not gonna read, I just wanted to say, bravo for the set it off (partners in crime) reference, I love that song

Epic Story bro

You really should get an editor. There are tons of obvious typos.

Ignore the typos. I'll correct them later.

"YES! Now it's done! The effects of the makeup have taken hold. Now, even if you are broken out of that trance, you will still be completely loyal to ME. You won't be able to help but happily obey any commands I give you. And the best part is, it's completely permanent and unbreakable. Even if the makeup is wiped off or somepony finds out, it matters not. I made that makeup as potent as possible, so it will last for the rest of your lives".

Jesus Christ add the Noncon tag

The mind control came too easily in this story, and the clop scenes are a bit mundane, especially since they are completely down with it. I did appreciate all the emphasis on fashions, styles, clothing, and makeup, and think if the story continues to focus on that (since that is supposedly High Heel's focus, using them as models) that it would be able to stand out enough to be an interesting read. But the vibrators and dildos/butt plugs seemed rather mundane in their use here. If that stuff was applied while they were going about their daily routines, that would be different, but as they are they are just living dolls.

I entertained the possibility that the sisters are immune to the mind control effects and are just humoring High Heels provided it doesn't impact other ponies too much, and treating it as an extended prank. It reads kinda differently with that idea in mind, even if it may not be true. Certainly the emphasis on the mind control being permanent and unbreakable is kinda laughable the way its presented.

Did you know High Heel is a supervillain from the Power Ponies universe? She's pretty hot.

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At least one person left a through review. Thank You! Opinions like this will help me develop future chapters. I'll be sure to take your suggestions into account for the next chapter.

8856730
Yes, I knew. I figured she'd be a good villain/mistress for a MC story of this theme. She has many plans for Celestia and Luna, all involving fashion exploitation and sexy hijinks.

Why would she stop at making them just her models? Now that they are under her control, she can now rule all of Equestria through them.

8857008
High Heel wants to dominate the competition, not the world. But you are right, Now that she controls them she had a lot of influence. And she does plan to use it.

Hi

These are just my personal thoughts. First off nice teasing with the dress and makeup scenes. The only thing I would suggest to work on is the delivery. For example with the hypnotic potion in the tea. Suddenyl becoming hypnotized... hoesntly it works but I think there are better ways to get the point across. For example and this is just me so if you don’t like it that’s ok. This is your story. Instead of dropping off the hypnosis. What you could have done is added or work the scene where their slowly hypnotized. For example Heel could have mixed the tea in. Making the potion more weak.

As the princesses continue to drink the tea the potion slowly start’s taking afecct. Heel still in her maid costum begins whispering to them from over the shoulder. Getting them into their doll like state. And then from there give on. Also if your looking for an editor I wouldn’t mind helping. I hate to see good work go unfished like yours.

Also question... what’s going to happen to Rarity?

Loved the detail in the descriptions and the pictures that went along with things. Really helped to visualize!

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As I said in another comment, High Heel wants to dominate the competion. Rarity just might be getting a visit from her. (Spoiler)

I hope this updates soon

We does it look like this updated but there's no new chapter?

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I'm writing a new chapter now.

Hope this mare remembers they need to raise the subcontinent and moon Plus would no one rain an eh grow st their acting? That ans Luna up during the day She a night owl and dream duties

8882946
When will this be updated with the new chapter?

I would love to see High Heel get control of Cadence and Twilight as well.

8887754
So it shall be, wish granted! Look forward to Twilight and Cadence getting their makeovers eventually.

Here's how I'd love to see it end:
Rarity and Starlight team up and give High Heel a taste of her own medicine.
Once she's under their control, they decide to share her in the following fashion (pun not intended):
Starlight decides to become the new ruler of Equestria, using High Heel to control the princesses, while Rarity uses High Heel to gain an even stronger hoofhold in the fashion world.

Of course, it's your story, and you can end it however you want.
Again, that's just what I'd like to see.

8893503
Now that's creative thinking! I might make an alternate ending like that. But for now, Rarity might end up as High Heel's minion. If this story is that popular, I might make branching story lines.
And remind me to pick your brain for ideas in the future.

8894614
Sounds good.

They had ordered some tea and bisects

Oh, this is gonna be good.