Chapter 1 Another beautiful day
Chapter 1: Another beautiful day
They were told they would “Liberate” the Americans from the lies of the corrupt government. That the Greater Korean Republic would “help” the American workers "experience the most life" they can afford. “Help to restore” the American economy and “experience the joys” of the Juche Idea.
All nothing but Propaganda. After the leader of North Korea, Kim Jong-il, died on January 2nd, 2012, his son, Kim Jong-un, took his place, uniting North and South Korea in 2013 as the Greater Korean Republic, reuniting Korean families, industry, and economies.
Also, the outdated North Korean military was integrated into the existing South Korean military structures, in which many North Korean officers were discharged and demoted, posted under South Korean officers in order for the Korean government to seek talented generals. Because of this military integration, mandatory military service was eliminated, causing many South Koreans to react positively towards it, as military service in South Korea was compulsory but unpopular.
By 2015, Kim Jong-un, as the increasingly popular President of the GKR, made great strides in modernizing the Korean People's Army, KPA for short, replacing and scrapping most of the Soviet-era ordnance and upgrading the Army's training in an accelerated program.
By 2017, the KPA was outfitted with trained special operation teams and was supposedly made as a worldwide peacekeeping force.
In 2018, the modernized KPA first saw combat in Japan after the Greater Korean Republic went to war with the said nation. KPA forces successfully conquered Japan after having captured 26 Japanese nuclear power plants that were near metropolitan areas and threatened to destroy them following the destruction of the Chugoku nuclear power plant. Thereafter, the KPA further served in annexing much of Southeast Asia, including Indonesia, the Philippines, Thailand, Vietnam, Cambodia, Laos, Myanmar, Papua New Guinea, Brunei, East Timor, and Singapore into the GKR; apparently some countries, such as Malaysia, joined voluntarily and for purposes of economic cooperation in an era of global economic decline.
The KPA further participated in several peacekeeping operations in northern Iraq alongside the Iranian Coalition's forces in 2020[and successfully intervened in the ethnic violence in Nigeria in 2023. By the latter year, the KPA was lauded by ambassadors and officials worldwide for its actions in Nigeria, along with aid missions to Sri Lanka and hurricane relief efforts in Cuba, greatly improving the GKR's international image. As of 2023, the KPA had grown to 25 million personnel, thanks largely to contributions from GKR member states. Becoming the largest standing army in the world, the KPA includes an Expeditionary Force of more than 5 million troops that was dedicated to "helping countries torn by conflict create a lasting peace.
The United States of America had many problems back then.
In 2012, the United States began to lose its military prestige following its withdrawal from Iraq and later from the former South Korea that reintegrated with North Korea. Subsequently by 2017, influenced by a worsening recession, the U.S. was forced to withdraw all their troops from Asia and other overseas countries. Because of the absence of American military presence in Asia, the newly created Greater Korean Republic saw this as an opportunity to expand their territories in spite of U.S. diplomatic protests.
Because of the recession, the U.S. economy did not recover and caused America to lose its status as a global superpower. The results were a substantial rise in gasoline prices, especially affected by the Oil Wars occurring in the Middle East, to be implemented under a rationing system, deterioration in infrastructure including highways and superhighways being costly to repair, severe cold fronts that led to the creation of Federally-sponsored "National Heating Centers" and a stricter interstate border control, and a reduction in military spending By 2017, major cities fell into civil unrest that forced the government to enact Martial Law.
In 2021, the United States was badly affected by the “Knoxville Cough” pandemic that led to the deaths of six million Americans and becoming one of the major contributing factors of America's decline. The pandemic led to Mexico closing its borders to American refugees in 2022, in an attempt to prevent the contagion from spreading across the nations. The Greater Korean Republic offered on several occasions in the last two years to help the United States with material and military support, but the United States, while accepting continued assistance from Canada and Mexico, flatly rejected all offers of aid from outside North America.
By 2025, America's currency was so devastated by economic issues that the country's military and economy might have collapsed. What was once the most powerful nation on Earth was then no more than a corrupted and vulnerable shadow of her former self.
It was the perfect time to strike.
In the same year, the GKR launched their latest communication satellite, claiming it would bring a message of peace to the world. It was just a ruse.
In reality, it contained an EMP that wiped out much of North America's power grid, allowing the KPA to easily seizing Hawaii, conquering Los Angeles in four days, San Francisco in two, and San Diego in eight hours, securing all U.S. military bases in California and capturing much of their technology, beginning their occupation of the United States.
During the next two years, the Korean military had essentially seized all of the United States west of the Mississippi River forming the New Korean Federation of Occupied America, while the east was still under control of the remaining US forces. Or better said what was left of the USA.
To prevent the US forces from crossing the river, the Greater Korean Republic created a barrier irradiating the river.
But 2027 would be the year where everything would change.
Colorado, Montrose, New Korean Federation of Occupied America
Chung Joon, a KPA soldier at the age of 28, was patrolling through the streets of Montrose, downtown. It was raining. It didn’t bother him at all, as he liked the rain.
Born in South Korea and being of American descent, he never believed in Kim Jong-un’s messages. He liked children and hated it to see how his comrades were very violent to the civilian population and were known to execute children as young as five years old. Chung would never harm a child.
He actually felt sorry for the Americans due his descent. His mother was a doctor, he had great medical knowledge, while his father was a mechanic, so the KPA soldier had also some Mechanical knowledge.
He had no choice but to be a soldier of the KPA. The KPA's policy allows citizens of the GKR that are joining the military to gain entrance into the GKR's ruling party and secure special privileges, such as unfettered travel among member states and additional fuel rations. Additionally, all family members are guaranteed employment while any one of them is serving in the Republic Military. The latter was what made him join. To support his parents.
The young man wore, like all soldiers, a desert camouflage uniform and helmet with a beige bulletproof vest and a red handkerchief covering his mouth and nose. As primary weapon, he had a M4 Carbine. It was taken from a U.S. armory during the invasion and, as he was a member rear guard troops tasked with pacifying the conquered territories, it was easier to supply them with captured American firearms, as the primary rifle of the KPA, the T3AK rifle, was reserved for frontline troops and U.S. Naval attacks on KPN supply lines made it difficult to ship this rifle to the troops in America. Plus, it was once stated by a drill instructor, “Americans make the best weapons, and we want only the best.”
As sidearm, he used a M9, also taken from the Americans.
His best friend since school, Chang Nim, was with him. Chang was a member of the Occupational Police Force. The policeman wore a uniform similar to SWAT teams and used a SCAR-L rifle, featuring a burst fire mode. His father was a policeman.
He let out a sigh. “Does that rain ever stop?”
“Doesn’t look like it will stop soon.”
“How are Kate and Amy?” the policeman asked his friend.
“They are doing well.” Chung lived together with Kate and Amy in Montrose. Kate was an American young woman who lost her husband during the first days of the invasion. He was a US soldier. Amy was her 12 year old daughter and everything she had left.
Chung cared for them deeply and by allowing him to live with them, they got spared from the violence of the KPA.
“I wish I had a T3AK instead of the M4. Due my descent, I have an interest and like in American weapons, culture and such, but the high rate of fire wastes too much ammo for my taste. The T3AK fires slower, but it results in slower ammo consumption, so you won’t run out so fast. But the M4 is a reliable weapon, like the M9.”
Chang chuckled. “You and me both. About the rate of fire and ammo, that’s why I use the SCAR-L rifle. The three-round burst makes it accurate, controllable and saves ammo.”
“But that makes you very vulnerable if you miss or if an enemy gets into close range with a high rate of fire weapon.” The KPA soldier replied, knowing a lot about American guns.
“That’s why I keep my distance.”
They both had many things in common and also, they both disliked violence towards civilians and especially children.
Now, the Koreans walked past an alley. Chung heard a sound. “Do you hear that?” It sounded like crying and came out of the alley
“Yes I do. Let’s check it out. Sounds like a child calling out for his father.” It made the policeman sad.
“Yeah, I won’t let a child freeze out here in the rain.” They walked into the alley. “Hello? Someone there?” He called out as it was dark and no one could be seen.
Then, Chung spotted a shadow. He couldn’t see what it was but it was shaped like a foal. That’s what he suspected given the low light. Must be my imagination.
While having night vision goggles on top of his helmet, the young Korean didn’t want to scare the child. His friend used a Flashlight. Looking around, the light shined into the eyes of a foal with green eyes and coat and a blue mane. It shielded its eyes from the light.
At first, they thought it was a child in a costume but as they saw that the foal was wearing what looked like a blue overall and some kind of miniature, portable, Terminal-like device on the left foreleg, they shook their heads, not able to process.
Suddenly, the foal saw them and panicked. “P-please, don’t hurt me! Where am I? Who are you people? How...how do I get home?” It sounded terrified, appeared to be shocked from something. Also, it voice was in English. Both soldiers could speak English, it was easy to learn and they could talk with the Americans. Plus the KPA soldier could speak English fluently and without accent due his descent.
Now, the brains of the humans crashed and tried to reboot. A talking foal? Impossible! They were shocked, trying to understand.
After pulling himself together, Chung shouldered his rifle and knelled down.
“We won’t hurt you. Here.” He reached in his pocket to give the foal some chocolate.
“Thanks.” The filly let out a smile before looking on the device on her hoof and letting out a relieved sigh.
“You should take her with you, not that she catches a cold in this rain.”
“Right, Chang.” He offered the child his hand, she hesitated for a moment before she took it.
Gently, he picked the green filly up and noticed that some kind of Tattoo was on her flank. A compass and set-square over parchment. What could that mean?
“I don’t want that you catch a cold out here.”
“T-thank you.” The filly replied slowly recovering from the shock.
The streets were deserted, making it easy to keep the foal hidden.
At the house of Kate and Amy, Chung called out, “I’m back! And I have a guest!”
Kate walked out of the kitchen, having brown hair and eyes.
“Welcome back, Chung. Oh, hello, Chang.” She and Amy were also good friends of him.
She was confused as she spotted the filly. “Why do you carry a foal with you?”
The soldier took a deep breath. “Long story, but to make it short, it’s a child and you know that would never leave a child behind.
As the young woman saw the device and that the foal was wearing clothes, she got it. “I understand and that’s what I like about you. What’s your name, my dear?” She asked polite after Chung had sat the filly down while Chang got a towel.
“Scotch Tape, Ma’am.” Scotch replied.
“That’s polite from you but Kate is just fine.”
“I’m Chung Joon and this is my friend Chang Nim.” He introduced himself and his friend as he dried Scotch.
“Nice to meet you.” The earth pony looked around. “Nice place you have here.”
“Thank you.”
“Where’s Amy?”
“Upstairs.” The American noticed that Scotch Tape was slightly trembling. “Are you cold? Let me make something to warm you up.”
Kate walked into the kitchen and made a hot chocolate.
Chung helped Scotch on the chair. She enjoyed it clearly. “That was refreshing! But where am I and what are you?” she asked curious yet confused where she was.
“On earth, in the United States of America, in a town named Montrose in the state Colorado. Or better said what’s left of it.” Chang explained.
“H-humans? Where I’m coming from, they’re only a myth. I read of them in books.”
“Chung!” Amy interrupted them, hugging him happy. He stroked her hair. The girl had black hair and green eyes.
“I’m glad to see you too. May I introduce Scotch Tape to you?”
Amy was at first confused. “Uhh, does my brain play a joke on me, as I a pony wearing clothes?”
“No, my dear she’s real.” Her mother replied.
“O-okay….”
This is awkward.
The human girl thought but took a deep breath and stretched her hand out for a hand/hoof shake. “I’m Amy, pleasure to meet you.”
Scotch Tape returned the shake. “Likewise.”
As it was evening, Kate had already prepared Dinner, she always made more, in case she had guests. Potatoes. “So, Scotch…want to tell us more about you?” She asked with an unsure voice, fearing it would make Scotch Tape sadder.
The foal nodded after she had taken a bite which she enjoyed. Chung and Chang had taken their headgear off. Chung had brown hair and blue eyes due his decent, his friend black hair and brown eyes.
She cleared her throat. “I come from a nation called Equestria. Here, Earth ponies, Pegasus and Unicorns lived together in Harmony. The Alicorns, Princess Celestia and Luna were the rulers of it. Unicorns can use magic, Pegasus can fly and manipulate the weather, while he Alicorns can fly and use magic.
But one day, a war known as ‘the great war’ broke out. Over the years, Equestria and the enemy deployed new technologies, including the ‘Megaspell’, a weapon of mass destruction, originally used as a meaning of mass Healing. Both nations destroyed each other with it, making Equestria a wasteland.” She took another bite.
It’s like combining WW1 with the nuclear weapons of the cold war. Both Koreans thought before the filly continued.
“But the technology megacorporation, Stable-Tec, had built the Stable, a bunker you can say, designed to withstand a nearby Megaspell detonation and still function self-sustainably. They can each hold at least 300 ponies and, paired with a near-everlasting spark generator and water talisman, can function and sustain life nearly indefinitely. Stables were equipped with sensors that could determine levels of toxicity in the air and soil above them, necessary to determine whether it would be safe to open the otherwise constantly sealed door that led outside.
I was born and lived in Stable 99 in Hoofington, as you can guess from the number on my overall. My mother was a member of the maintenance team. One of the rules was that a resident's child should take over her role once their parent died. My mother died while doing her work and I took over her role. I had difficulties at first, but got better with the time.
I never directly knew my father until later. One day, a terrible incident happened, and the head of Security, a unicorn named Go Fish, or Blackjack as everypony calls her, took me with her to save me from having a terrible fate. I, along with my father, an earth pony like me, a Pegasus called Morning Glory, and an Alicorn called Lacunae, had then a lot of adventures with her during our travel through the wasteland. Later, an Earth pony warrior named Arloste joined us, but due her deadly skills, we mostly call her by her nickname Rampage.
If you’re wondering about Lacunae being an Alicorn, they were artificially created during the war. And that,” she pointed to her flank, “Is my Cutie Mark. Cutie Marks represent the special talent of a pony. My Cutie Mark represents my skill in construction and design, although I suspected it would be a toilet, as I’m also skilled in plumbing.” She blushed.
“And what is this on your hoof? A watch?” Amy asked curious, pointing to it.
“It a PipBuck. It’s issued to every inhabitant of a Stable once they are deemed old enough to start work, typically coinciding with a pony getting their cutie mark. They are worn on a foreleg, just above the hoof, and consist of a metal cuff with a screen. A blend of late-war magic and scientific advances, a PipBuck is able to monitor the wearer's health, personal inventory, and correspondence, and can be used as a reference when building, repairing, or attempting to interact with equipment or technology.
PipBucks also have limited magical functions, such as the E.F.S. (Eyes Forward Sparkle), S.A.T.S. (Stable-Tec Arcane Targeting Spell), and the ability to automatically scan the wearer's surroundings to determine threats or terrain. It also includes a lamp, radio receiver, Geiger counter, and a short-range transponder that can be used to track its location. They’re incredibly durable and can also record audio. It’s very useful for many things.” Scotch Tape explained.
“Fascinating. How did you end up here?” Chang asked.
Scotch Tape took a deep breath. “Well, shortly after I got my Cutie Mark, my friends, father and I got attacked by a purple Alicorn. Purple Alicorns can teleport. While my friends could defeat it, in her dying moments, it fired a teleport spell that hit me before anypony could react and…I found myself in this alley.”
“Sorry to hear that.” Kate felt sorry for the filly.
“It’s alright, I’ve survived worse things. Can you tell me more about the United States of America and yourself?" The green foal asked the soldiers.
“Of course.”
Chung told her that he was from Korea and what happened from the founding of the Greater Korean Republic in 2013, the Economic downturn of the USA and how it got invaded by the Greater Korean Republic in 2025.
The foal was shocked. “Oh my…Similar to the Great War.”
“Yes, but you have nothing to fear of me or my friend. We are both from South Korea and never believed in the propaganda. And you should know, soldiers of the Korean People's Army have been known to execute children as young as five years old. Our comrades had killed you without mercy, had they found you. But we would never do something like this.”
The green filly gave the soldier a weak smile. “And I’m grateful that you helped me.”
“You’re welcome.” Chang had finished his meal.
“May I show you my room, Scotch Tape?” Amy offered after she had finished her meal too.
“Of course.” Scotch had also finished and went upstairs with the girl.
Amy’s room was very cozy. A bed with a nightstand, a TV with a PS3 and PS4, plus a shelf with video games to the right of it, an armchair on a carpet in front of the TV.
Scotch’s eyes went wide. “Wow. You got a nice room. Is that a TV? As far as I know, only the Pegasi have anything like this. Even my stable didn’t have TV. I just read about them in books.”
“Yep. We use it to watch movies and such but the Korean propaganda is so boring. I’m getting tired of those propaganda films. Make America great again here, the Greater Korean Republic wants to help you there, boring and lies!” Amy exclaimed before calming down. “But I still have my video games. Want to try one?”
Scotch smiled. “I can give it a try.”
“Make yourself comfortable while I start it.” Amy offered as she selected a game.
Scotch Tape climbed into the armchair and leaned back. It was very comfortable.
“Here is an old classic game my father used to play. Syphon Filter. A game from 1999.” The cover showed several men in a park, everything was green like viewed through night vision.
Amy turned the TV on but accidently pressed a button that played a video.
At first, Scotch Tape was confused but then get it that it was a kid’s show and couldn’t help but sing along the lyrics with Amy.
Here's a little lesson in trickery
This is going down in history
She tried to suppress her snickering at the funny parts of the video.
When I say go, be ready to throw
Go!
Throw it at him, not me!
Ugh, let's try something else
Now watch and learn, here's the deal
He'll slip and slide on this banana peel
Ha ha ha, WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?
Both children hat a very good time, laughing and singing together.
“That was fun!” Scotch smiled.
“Yep, now, back to the game.” Amy turned the console on and selected the game.
The menu showed up, playing the title theme.
“You may watch the training video before starting the first mission.” Amy selected the training video with the controller.
“Ok, I think I get it.” Scotch Tape took the controller after the video was over. The magic of Equestria allowed ponies to grab things with their hooves but it was limited.
The mission was about eliminating a terrorist named Erich Rhoemer and his allies.
The game loaded and the mission briefing appeared on the loading screen.
Washington DC: Georgia Street.
Agency Directive:
Our FBI informant has pinpointed the terrorist viral attack in the DC subway system. Our contact within US defense and Interpol confirms the identities of the terrorists. We will drop you in after CBDC (US Army Chemical and Biological Defense Command) operations begin.
Your targets are Rhoemer, Kravitch, Aramov and Girdeaux. SATCOM has intercepted coded microwave traffic. Rhoemer must have an uplink station in the area. Assist CBDC if needed. Avoid collateral casualties if possible. Check your objectives onsite for more information.
The briefing Cut scene played.
“When will the operation begin?” Markinson, the director of The Agency asked.
“Our intelligence within the FBI was not clear, but Rhoemer's men are already inside the subway.” Benton, Deputy-Director of the Agency replied.
“Is it the same virus?” Lian, the female partner of the player character, Gabriel Logan asked.
“Yes, enough to eliminate everyone within a hundred miles or more.” Benton confirmed.
“Procedure?” Gabe asked.
“Standard intercept and eliminate. These are from our contact inside Interpol. Jenkins team is already on search and diffuse. You are the trigger.”
“I recognize Anton Girdeaux and Mara Aramov. Who's the other one?” Lian asked as a video feed of a camera in the subway showed the terrorists.
“Pavel Kravitch. Rhoemer's communications expert. When you eliminate him you'll also have to destroy his comm uplink. You'll be dropped into the strike zone when the fire fight begins. You'll have an hour to find your targets and take them out.”
As the cutscene ended, the in game scene showed two men wearing yellow full-body protective suit with black face-mask complete with a backpack advancing, the first rushing into battle, the second carefully crouched behind his comrade. They were armed with rifles. Shots were fired, the camera didn’t show who it was, a police car exploded by the gunshots as the camera focused on Gabe.
“I've got an I.D. match for Rhoemer on level 1. Girdeux is on level 2...no location yet for Kravitch and I don't see any signs of Aramov.”
Copy. I'm on my way.” After Gabe said that, Scotch Tape took control of him, the music was intense.
“The men in the yellow suits are CBDC agents and your allies,” Amy explained.
“Got it.” She moved the field agent around the corner and spotted the enemy. They wore a pair of dark-tan pants equipped with combat boots. A sort of black vest worn over a white t-shirt, almost appearing like suspenders. They also had a signature ski-mask, with a white lining along the eyes which looked like some form of goggles.
They killed the first agent but had relatively low accuracy as their skills with firearms were rather low. Checking her inventory, Scotch Tape saw that Gabe had a flashlight, a pistol, a Taser and a Sniper Rifle as starting weapons.
Taking aim, she fired at the terrorists with the 9mm. While she didn’t like the thought of combat, she understood it was just a virtual game, not reality. After some more bad guys jumped down from a wall at the other end of the street, the music switched to a calm tone after they all got killed.
The foal told Gabe to collect the rifle of the fallen agent. The HUD said it was an M-16. She opened the description
“This weapon is lightweight, accurate, and has very low recoil. The preeminent assault rifle in the world, it was developed by the US Army in 1965, and has since become a mainstay for armed forces, police, and personal defense enthusiasts.”
“I recommend using the M-16 as it is a dependable weapon with a great magazine size and ammo is plentiful and easy to find due to many opponents using the same weapon.”
“If you say so, Amy.”
The other agent shouted,” We need more backup! Where's our damn backup?!”
“I’m your backup. Now where should I go next?”
“Go back to the starting point, there’s an alley.” Her friend advised. “And if you want to save ammo, use the Taser.
“Ok.” Scotch switched to the Taser and walked through the alley.
She came to another police car. “On the rooftops!” Amy shouted as enemies fired from the roof on Gabe.
As she hit one bad guy with the Taser, he wiggled from the 500,000 volts, then burst out into flames and screamed in agony. Shocked, Scotch Tape released the fire button and the now dead enemy fell from the roof.
“Oh my…”
“Don’t feel bad, it’s just a game. You know, the Taser is popular with fans due exactly that reason, setting the enemy on fire. But I only use it when trying to save ammo or in certain situations.”
“…Right…”
The green foal gave Gabe the order to eliminate some more enemies on the roof before walked to a bank around the corner.
A CBDC agent tried to get into the bank, a terrorist was about to blow two crashed police cars up to kill him, but Scotch Tape was faster and burned him with the Taser before he could do so.
Inside the bank, she saw a little rocket with a green circle on the top, black and yellow stripes on the sides. Another agent, armed with a 9mm instead of an M-16, ran to it and knelled down. “Cover me!”
She got it. It was a bomb and she had to cover the agent while he disarmed it.
Equipping the M-16, she and the other agent took care of any enemies that tried to stop the disarming. “Bomb disarmed!” the agent yelled as he got up and finished a bad guy with his pistol off.
Then, she leaded Gabe into a dark room. Using the Flashlight, she found an ammo crate with grenades in it. They will surely come in handy later on.
While getting back to the starting point, she took out more enemies on the rooftops, collecting ammo for the M-16. Yep, ammo is really plentiful. This will be my weapon of choice. She thought smiling.
Back at the starting point, she assisted CBDC agents against more terrorists.
“Now, where I need to go?” she asked Amy who was impressed.
“Into that bar that says, ‘The place.’ You’re really good at this for someone who never saw a TV or played a video game before.”
The foal blushed at the compliment. “Thanks.”
In the bar, a bad guy with an M-16 was hiding in a small room, blocked by boxes. She looked at her human friend with a smirk. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Amy just nodded, smirking.
“Surprise!” Scotch threw a grenade into the room, the terrorist died in the explosion, having no chance to get away.
Gabe vaulted over the box into the room and through the window, entering the backyard of the bar. Gunshots ringed through her ears as at a cinema, a firefight between terrorists and agents started. “Show em off!” One of her allies yelled.
The agents fired from the rooftops, the bad guys were behind burning police cars, so she used the Taser to save ammo. After that, she opened a crate with ammo for the Sniper Rifle, although she hadn’t used it yet. There was also a crate with a Flak Jacket but because of the bad aim of the enemies, she hadn’t suffered any damage.
Back at the backyard, Gabe called an Elevator to reach the switch that allowed him to access the subway.
Back on the surface again, Gabe got attacked by an enemy on a fire escape on the left but was quickly killed.
Seeing an ammo crate on the fire escape, Scotch told the agent to climb up a crate to get to it, killing another two terrorists while doing so. In the crate was an M-79 Grenade launcher.
“You found the M-79. Nice! But ammunition is rare and only found in ammo boxes, so use it sparingly.”
“Thanks for the tip.”
Scotch Tape made Gabe moved deeper into the bar, spotting Kravitch. The HUD showed that he was wearing a Flak Jacket.
He shouted something the foal couldn’t understand. “Eto Kravitch, my pod ognyom, prishlite pomoshch'!”
He was looking like a standard enemy and moved out from cover to shoot then went back to cover. Like with the other bad guys, he was a bad shot.
The filly tried to get a headshot. “Hold still!”
As if he could hear her, Kravitch taunted, “Ty nikogdye nye poymayesh' menya, Logan!” but then got killed by her.
“Gotcha!” Behind the bar, she took a shotgun from a crate and used it against three goons that come to help their leader but the shotgun killed them quickly, causing them to land hard on their backs. Now I get it why Blackjack likes those kinds of guns so much.
On Level 1, she took out any hostile she saw and tagged the bomb that was planted there. The sounds of the trains were deafening, making a loud “WROOOORR” whenever they passed the station. It was also frightening.
Yet, she made it to level 2. The Terrorists weren’t aware of Logan, so she told him to sneak around. “Be careful not to make a sound, shh.” She and Amy sang in union.
Scotch surprised the terrorists from behind. The last bad guy was wearing a Flak Jacket and was guarding the bomb.
Being careful with her aim, not to hit the bomb, she scored a headshot. “Target down, now let’s disarm that bomb.”
The end cutscene played.
“Wait! This one is different from the others! It has a shorter time and…” The countdown was at 3 seconds and Gabe started to run.
“Gabe, that’s not viral!”
“Too late!”
The explosion destroyed the station and the trains derailed. The Level ended.
“Wow. Never expected the first level would end like this.” Scotch Tape was impressed.
“Yep, back in 1999, it was very unique to have an ending like this. Daddy was also impressed by that back then.”
Amy then noticed that her friend sniffed and looked away with closed eyes. Scotch Tape struggled not to cry.
She missed her father and friends. She was homesick.
I won’t cry. I won’t.
I have to be strong for daddy.
Still, a small tear leaved her eye as she felt something warm around her.
Opening her eyes, the filly saw that the girl had wrapped her arms around her. “It’s alright Scotch Tape, I understand that you miss them. I know this feeling. My father was a US soldier that was killed during the first hours of the invasion.”
Now Scotch realized that they didn’t told her about Amy’s father and Kate’s husband before. “Sorry to hear that.”
“It’s okay. I miss him but in my heart, he will always be alive. Chung is sometimes like a surrogate father to me.”
That reminded Scotch Tape of Blackjack. For some reason, she was a surrogate mother for her sometimes. “Guess we have something in common. Thank you.”
“That’s what friends are for. Now, let’s start mission 2, shall we?” The child gave her the controller.
The briefing appeared.
Washington DC: Destroyed Subway
Incoming from Benton
You’re lucky to be alive. Ten square blocks of Washington DC just sank 20 feet into the ground. It looks like Rhoemer had the entire subway wired to explode as cover of his escape plan.
It’s likely you’ve cut his time table short. And that he’s still down there with you, Aramov and Girdeux also remain unaccounted for. Don’t let Rhoemer escape that terminal. And be aware that you’re now completely cut off from all reinforcements.
The camera showed burning train wrecks as it focused on Gabe who could save himself on a platform on the side of the track near the bomb's original location, surrounded by fire.
“Gabe! Gabe!? Are you there?” Lian asked worried that he had died in the explosion.
He was coughing, “I'm here. I'm alright…”
“Oh my God Gabe! I thought you'd been killed!”
“Not yet. Get on the wire and tell Benton that the subway is a decoy. The main bomb is somewhere else…Where's Rhoemer?”
“My video feeds are dead. My last visual had Rhoemer moving towards level one. Girdeaux was moving through the main tunnel just beneath the street.”
“The ramps down here have collapsed. I'll have to find another way up.”
Taking control of Logan, the green earth pony leaded him to the right where a Flak jacket was. She saw no need for it as she had not taken damage on the first mission.
The music was exciting, like something could happen any second now.
Getting over the track and taking a left, she got surprised, as a terrorist ran out of the flames towards Gabe, lit ablaze, screaming in terror.
“Ah! Aah! AAAAAAH! AAAAAAAARGH! AAAAAAAAAARRREEEEGH!!” The music changed to action.
Scared by that, she moved Logan backwards not able to press the fire button, as the Flaming Enemy came closer, only to collapse and die, with the fire extinguishing itself shortly thereafter, a few meters before the agent.
Recovering, Scotch commented, “Didn’t see that coming.”
“Me and daddy got scared by that too when we first encountered this poor guy.”
Walking forward to the right, two bad guys, one on the ground, the other on a burning train opened fire but the shotgun killed both in one shot.
Unlike their comrades from Georgia Street, they wore a tan-camouflage uniform with a black vest over the chest. The vest itself appeared to have various pouches for munitions, with what appeared to be a spot for a name tag. A black belt could be seen worn over the pants, with a holster-and-strap equipped to the left leg just above the knee. A pair of black combat boots and gloves was worn in conjunction with the rest of the outfit, while a black ski-mask with open eyes covered each member's face.
Climbing on the train to get past the fire, Lian radioed in, saying that CBDC couldn’t reach the bomb on Level 1 as debris blocked the entrance.
Getting down, she spotted 3 terrorists, two with M-16s, one threw a grenade. She evaded it by pressing the circle button, rolling to the left. All three had Flak Jackets but a light went on in Scotch Tape’s head. She let out an evil giggle. Just like daddy.
She equipped the M-79, poked out from cover and fired a round, taking all three out.
Then she switched to the M-16. Taking C4 from a crate to clear the debris and taking another bad guy out, Gabe was told by her to climb on a toppled cola machine, jumping on an edge sticking out of the wall.
An Enemy fired on Gabe where the C4 was but the M-16 made short work of him.
Climbing some more ledges up, she was back on Level 1.
“Okay, now where is that…” the bomb she was looking for, had landed on its side on the track, completely undamaged.
“Ah, here it is.” Having found the bomb, she planted the C4 on the blocked passage, so that CBDC could move it.
After the passage was cleared, a CBDC agent came through. “Cover me!”
Only 3 bad guys attacked which Scotch eliminated with the trusty M-16 before the agent yelled, “Bomb disarmed!”
Before she entered the tunnel that leaded to the Main Subway Line, she shut the gas mains off, just to be safe.
Climbing onto a train, she avoided another flaming enemy and took a bad guy out that came from behind.
“You’re almost there, Scotch.” Amy told as Scotch took the last enemy that had spawned on the second train ahead of Logan.
“Hehehe, Logan...” a female voice said as Gabe pursued Mara Aramov in the end cut scene.
“I and daddy used to hate the third level because of the trains.”
“In that case, wish me luck, Amy.” Scotch Tape took a deep breath to be prepared for whatever expected her in the next level.
The briefing loaded.
Washington DC: Main Subway Line
Incoming from Benton
Logan, Intel indicates Rhoemer has fled the scene. Jenkins is meeting heavy resistance in the Washington Park area and DCPD reports fifteen officers down. We fear an agency leak has given his position away.
Mara Aramov’s identity has been confirmed by Interpol. Do not let her escape. Caution: FEMA is using the Eastbound tracks to shuttle emergency personnel: Do not use any explosives in the tunnel or you will cause a derailment.
The camera showed Mara running away with a laugh on the tracks before focusing on Logan.
While taking the normal enemies out was not a problem, the trains caused Scotch to get nervous, shaking a little bit.
They came either on the left track or the right track. She used the roll button frequently to get under the beams, her heart was racing.
Then, she barely avoided getting hit by a train and got Logan into a small alcove.
She tried to catch her breath. “My heart is racing…this is exciting.”
But seeing that Mara was in the next alcove filled her with determination to finish the level.
Switching to the shotgun and getting between the tracks, Scotch fired at the woman until she fell to the ground. The cut scene showed that Mara was still alive.
“Where's Rhoemer? Where are the other bombs?”
“You're too late Logan!”
"We'll see…”
“Congratulations! Next level is the park. Daddy and I were stuck here, as we could never find the last bomb.” Amy smiled at her.
“Let’s see if I can change that.” Scotch Tape’s heart had calmed down.
The briefing loaded.
Washington DC: Washington Park
Mission Redirect: CBDC has requested direct intervention and assistance. Your new orders are to locate viral bombs, plant homing beacons, wait for the arrival of CBDC, and provide covering fire. The bombs are set to detonate within the hour.
Terrorist resistance is heavy. Agency Intel reports that Anton Girdeux is leading the park operation. Exercise caution. We have lost all communication from Jenkins’ team.
The cut scene showed Logan running towards the park, a few police cars could be seen driving by at the end of the street. It was raining, a thunderstorm.
“Lian, I'm on my way to the park. Have Benton send a team to pick up Mara Aramov. I left her wounded and unconscious in the Fifth Avenue tunnel, but chances are she's already on the move.”
“Copy.”
”…and if he hasn't alerted FEMA, he better do it soon. Rhoemer's going to trigger the main viral device whether or not the government meets his demands.”
“I'm already on it. Did you get any information on the operations in the park?”
“Tell Jenkins the smaller viral bombs are hidden throughout the park. Girdeaux has the main one…” Gabe evaded a police car with a roll, the driver honked the horn.
“Logan, this is Benton. I have a mission redirect. Jenkins' team has been eliminated. I'm putting you on locate and recon.”
“Benton, what's going on?”
“CBDC's getting slaughtered. We need you to track down the viral devices and provide covering fire while CBDC Agents come in and disarm them.”
“Copy that. I'll give them cover as long as I can. Lian, how much time until the main device detonates?” Gabe climbed the wall up.
“Less than an hour.”
“Okay, let's do it.”
The cut scene ended, as the camera focused on the player character, Lian told him, “I've set the pickup frequency for your beacons to niner-four-seven. CBDC is standing by.”
A timer above the map showed that Scotch Tape had 20 minutes to find the bombs. The rain made it intense and the music filled the foal with tension.
Starting to move forward, Gabe took out a guard a few meters away from his starting position with the shotgun, then another one that stood on top of a stone structure. He dropped a night vision rifle which Scotch Tape picked up.
A third bad guy came from the left out of the entrance but was no match for the shotgun. The weapon he used was a .45. The in-game Description:
This tough, durable gun has been in production for almost a century. It has tremendous stopping power, and in spite of its strong recoil and heavy slide and bolt, it is a deadly weapon in the hands of a seasoned professional.
“I recommend using it, as ammo plentiful in the park and it’s an incredibly powerful handgun capable of dropping most unarmored enemies in 2-3 shots, or a single shot at close enough range.”
“If you say so, Amy.” Scotch switched from the shotgun to the.45.
She saw a flashing blip on the map. It was the first bomb. Pressing the Triangle button, Gabe placed the green flashing beacon and a CBDC agent arrived. “Cover me!”
The music went into action as three enemies attacked. The .45 was very loud, echoing through the park but took every hostile down with one shot. “Bomb disarmed!”
“One down, three remaining.”
Collecting ammo for the .45, the foal leaded Logan to a Police Memorial where Lian informed that CBDC has a hostage situation in a tennis court deeper within the park and that this became her second objective.
The second bomb was at the Memorial. Using a beacon, a CBDC agent arrived to disarm it. “Cover me!”
She met more resistance but the powerful pistol had no problems to deal with that. “Bomb disarmed!”
“Half of the bombs are disarmed, great work, Scotch Tape!” Amy praised her friend.
“Thank you.” She appreciated it.
Looking at the timer, 17 minutes were left, enough time to find the other two bombs.
Traveling deeper into the park, Lian informed about a satellite uplink dish hidden somewhere in the park. If Gabe could connect her, she could locate the triggerman.
The way was dark, so the pony equipped the night vision rifle to see any enemies before they could see her and took them out.
Scotch Tape came to a building where the third bomb was. Placing a beacon, another CBDC member arrived. “Cover me!”
Scotch licked over her lower lip. “Alright, terrorists, show me what you got!” she exclaimed.
As they could hear what she just said, the bad guys came from all sides. Rhoemer seems to have sicked the whole army of his henchmen on me. Scotch Tape thought as she fought them.
She stood her ground until the agent had finished his work. “Bomb disarmed!”
Checking the map, the final bomb was way back where Logan came from, Scotch traveled all the way back.
At a wide path lined with plants, she found the last bomb. “Neither I or daddy could find the last bomb,” Amy commented.
“Pretty clever and mean to hide it back there.” Scotch placed the beacon, the CBDC agent arrived. “Cover me!”
The last bomb was fairly easy compared to the third bomb. “Bomb disarmed!”
“OK, now let’s free our allies!”
At the tennis courts, she saw from a distance how a bad guy stood ready to execute the hostages, while two patrols watching each entrance of the tennis court.
She silently took the patrols with the night vision rifle out, then switched to the Taser.
“That’s for taking my friends hostage!” The terrorist screamed in agony as he burned.
She followed the agents to an odd structure. Climbing up it, she reached the Satellite Uplink Dish and made the connection.
Lian said that the triggerman was Jorge Marcos.
Jumping down, Gabe came to a hedge maze. Fighting several terrorists armed with shotguns, she found Marcos.
He was a young Spanish man appearing to be in his late 20's to early 30's with mid-length wavy brown hair and dark brown eyes. He wore a tan sweater over a black shirt and black gloves, featured with black pants and combat boots. Around his waist he had a silver belt likely for ammo and a similar attachment on his left leg high up on the thigh.
He had a .45 and a Flak Jacket, trying to retreat by using fire-and-run tactics to find cover within the maze. Despite such cowardly action, Marco had surprisingly good accuracy, forcing Scotch to find cover to avoid getting hit.
“Get back here and fight, coward!” She exclaimed as she lost him.
“Calm down, anger won’t help you.”
The young Earth pony took Amy’s advice, leaned back in the chair, closed her eyes and breathed calmly for a few minutes.
Having found inner peace again, opening her eyes, Scotch Tape let Gabe crouch to avoid being detected by Marco.
Looking around, she found him in a corner, not aware of Gabe, she equipped the grenades she found in the bank in the first level. “I got something for you!” The grenade took him out and Lian told that he was ghosting an entire frequency and that she found Girdeux. He was at the Freedom Memorial.
“Ok, let’s move.”
Leaving the maze, she came to ramp going down into a ravine of sorts.
Four bad guys, all wearing Flak Jackets, were the last line of defense between her and the entrance to the memorial.
Switching to the M-79, Scotch took them out. “That’s all you got?” She taunted.
Then she got to the entrance and the next briefing loaded.
Washington DC: Freedom Memorial
Forwarded from agency Intel:
Spysat has completed a detailed Analysis of Girdeux’s body armor. It is impervious to all conventional weapons, our armor specialists are working on it, but your agent may have to improvise to find a weak spot.
Our demolition expert has noted that the use of any explosive device will trigger the viral bomb.
This cut scene showed a Caucasian man with blue eyes and blonde hair. His attire was that of an unique Kevlar armor impervious to all standard firearms. He had a dark, green camouflage jacket with brown pants and black combat boots, as well as black protective gloves to hold his flamethrower. On his back he's equipped with a fuel tank, which provided him the flame gel to fire out of his flamethrower. His face mask was silver, with an orange visor. He was sitting on a statue with the head knocked off.
“Anton Girdeux, I hope Rhoemer's paying you enough to die for him.”
“Gabriel Logan, always the optimist! Look around, Logan! This hall contains a mosaic depicting the entire history of your country's wars and aggressions. We are about to make an addition to it!” Girdeux had a French accent, making it unique to his character, sounding lively yet intimidating and worthwhile.
“I don't think so Girdeaux. It ends here!”
The scene ended.
“Gabe, Girdeux’s wearing full body armor. You've got to find a weak spot!”
Taking control, Scotch took cover behind a pillar to get up with a plan as Anton searched Logan. “Where did you go, Logan?”
“While I never finished the last level, I know that his French accent along with his quotes are well-known amongst the fans, many speaking in his tongue.”
“Interesting but would could be his weak spot?” Scotch wondered until she spotted the fuel-pack on his back.
As he had his back to the field agent, the young filly equipped the shotgun and fired a shot after leaning out from cover.
The Frenchman let out a small cry of pain as he got hit with small flames coming out of his fuel-pack for a few seconds.
Scotch Tape threw a hoof up into the air, Amy a hand. This was doing the trick!
The boss looked for Logan but didn’t find him as Scotch moved from cover to cover to avoid getting seen.
“You can't hide forever!” He yelled aggressively. “There's nowhere to run!” He added as the foal had sneaked up on him and scored another hit on his weak spot.
Pressing the circle button to roll, she waited for the moment to strike as her enemy taunted, “You can't win, Logan!”
Getting behind him once again, she took aim as he asked, “Where are you, Logan?” before he got hit again.
As she tried to flank him, he noticed her. “Hold still!” But he was too slow as she made another roll.
“I'm not as easy to beat as you think,” she muttered, her tongue now permanently sticking out of her mouth.
This shot however hit his body armor instead of the weak-spot. “You're going to need a bigger gun!”
Not wanting to be burned, she escaped once again. Having him in her sight, she fired. “Say goodbye now!”
The end scene showed Girdeux burning from inside of his armor and despite his agonizing screams, Gabe walked away without looking back... calling in CBDC to deal with getting the bomb out, as well as now extinguishing the fire.
Amy turned the game off. “That’s enough for today.”
“Yes. Not a pleasant death.” Even if it was just a game, Scotch Tape felt a little bit guilty.
There was a knock on the door. “Come in.” Amy said as Kate and Chung came in.
“I see you two had much fun. But bedtime now.” Kate looked on the watch, it was 9PM.
Scotch Tape protested, “But I’m not *yawns* tired.”
“Only with rest, you can be so good at games.” Chung smiled at her cute yawning.
She blushed and scratched her back. “Where can I sleep? I’m, uh… incontinent.” It was a lie to conceal that she wet the bed out of fear in the Equestrian Wasteland.
“You can share my bed with me, Scotch Tape. It’s big enough for us.” Amy offered.
“That’s nice from you but don’t you have a guest room or a sleeping bag?”
“Scotch Tape, there’s no need to be embarrassed, I can change the sheets without problem,” Kate replied.
“Alright, fine.” The young woman tucked her to the bed. She was too tired to resist.
“Goodnight.” Chung extinguished the light, smiling as Scotch Tape was asleep fast, Amy too.
“Aww, don’t they look like angels?” Kate’s heart melted.
“Indeed. I see you tomorrow.” Chang left as his friends went to bed.
Both Children were actually still awake. “It’s okay, I had this problem too when the invasion started, fearing for my daddy’s safety and having nightmares,” Amy whispered in the foal’s ear, as she could tell the real reason behind her friend’s problem.
“Thanks.” Both fell asleep and Scotch Tape hugged unconsciously Amy’s teddy bear in her sleep, hoping that her friends and father wouldn’t be too worried but had faith that they would find her.
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So N. Korea somehow is able to unify the Korean peninsula? And then they modernize? Dude, I know this is fantasy but this is a little much.
8332511
It's a crossover of the game homefront where exactly this happened
8332511
Not exactly impossible... If South Korea and America was dealt with in such a way to cripple them they might find it way more easier to industrialize and modernized themselves. Yes with a huge portion going to military and such but doesn't me they won't relax if there biggest enemies are gone. Open your mind
plus it's all set in stone just read the Wikipedia article about the game.
8332677
Indeed
You really should tell what crossover even was. I was surprised by the Fallout Equestria: Horizons appearance. Still, it's a pleasant surprise. I just hoped there was less exposition.
So much exposition.
8333043
Glad to hear that you like the surprise, i see what i can Do
8332708
Something I'm confused by.
Where's China in all of this?
I mean, last time North Korea made a scene, China explicitly stated they wouldn't support them. They spend ages trying to mend relations every time things heat up (I feel kind of sorry for the guy who has to do that. Telling the American diplomat and the North Korean diplomat to come to a compromise must be like a worn-out mother breaking up her kid's argument and yelling 'I DON'T CARE WHO STARTED IT! I'M FINISHING IT!')
What happened to them?
Did they get hit by this debt crisis as well and, if so, surely North Korea would go the same way considering how much they already owe China. And if North Korea was able to prosper, it would be in China's best interests to ensure their unreliable allies didn't rise higher than them.
I'm sorry but I'm just not a fan of modern genres were organised diplomacy just doesn't exist. So what, a country everyone knows is apparently 'eeeeeeevil' stocks up on weapons, artillery and tech and invades its neighbours and no-one does a bloody thing?
It doesn't say much about the heroes when they only seem to give a damn when its their stuff that's being trodden on.
8333483
Well, acording to newspapers and the wiki, China's econemy weaks as Korea rises and America falls, due to China's primary market for exports changing radically in the last few years, suffering a sharp decline of 15% in manufacturing jobs. But got spared from Korean annexation
8333483
Is there a scene you liked very much or a scene that should I change/improve?
Oh, kind of like the US military?
I dunno'. It could be either the writers are pointing out how it looks from the other side, when a military force that greatly overpowers your own takes charge of your lawless nation and punishes any sign of dissent ruthlessly while claiming it's all for your sake.
I'd really just have him South Korean. It sends a bit of an unfortunate message when the hero on the North Korean's side is half-American.
These imbeciles need a lesson from Discord!
Discord: Just open a portal to the realm of neverending torment right under his feet. Problem solved.
...
Robbie: Too far, bro.
So wait, were the North Koreans let into the country or did they actually launch a full-scale invasion?
An invasion that was seemingly over in a matter of months?
I'm confused.
I'd get rid of this, it kills the mood from the gradually growing screams.
Interesting chapter though. Try not to introduce so many characters in one scene, it makes it difficult to identify with all of them.
Nice description but I'd call him Hispanic or Latino. Unless it's known for certain he is Spanish.
Though I do like how you differentiate them. Girdeux seemed pretty sinister while Marcos was clearly very gung-ho.
And they're morally ambiguous which suits the current setting.
8333542
that is said in a newspaper where the KPA is traning become a peacekeeping force. For chung being Half-American, it seemed the best possibility how he could be so well familiar with American cultur, weapons and so on.
Amy's father and the war, as seen in the intro, the KPA started a satelite blanketed the entire United States with a massive electromagnetic pulse disabling all electronics. It completely wiped out the entire power grid, literally and completely darkening the United States. Then, on January 18, 2025, a large naval, amphibious and air invasion ofHawaii was initiated; systematically taking over the entire state, and every single island. Soon later, on January 25, 2025, a complete surprise invasion was initiated on the West Coast.
All breaches were along the coastline and airline, in what is a campaign of rapid dominance. The Koreans were deployed by their air and naval forces, quickly taking over the entire area.
Korean forces were also dropped into the Midwest by an air assault, taking over the entire area. And finally, ending with Operation Water Snake, the Koreans having effectively contaminated the Mississippi River and creating a barrier between the New Korean Federation of Occupied America in the west and what is left of the United States in the east. By the end of 2026 the United States was now divided, and Korea controls exactly two-thirds of the United States, the West Coast and the Central United States. The invasion was quick but the war itself and occupation are still continuing,
About the screram, someone quoted this on the action music youtube video for the level where I got it, I take care of that right away. And Marco, thats his discription in the Syphon filter game wikia.
That all said, it pleases me to hear that you liked the chapter.
Wheeew... okay, so... good start, but it seems a bit... rushed for my tastes, but this is good, so keep it up dude.
Some minor things.
That seems like an odd comment to make to someone, specially your friend, mostly the decent part. Just seems odd to me is all.
Also, the shock didn't seem to last long with Chang and Chung, (hilarious names for two best friends by the way) regarding a literal pastel colored pony that talks. And Scotch seems to be... rather trusting of these two strange creatures, bigger than her, with guns, hmm...
And they played Syphon Filter, that was a cute moment
Overall, the story is... good, it has a few typos here and there, some missing words, and a couple of mistakes, but you're doing a decent job, I'd suggest getting an editor... like an actual editor. A proofreader's good, an editor is also good to have around.
So good job dude, I wish you luck with this story.
8340965
Glad you like it. I reseached Korean names for the two Kpreand and Amy's reaction was the best I could think of
I finished reading the first chapter of this fic and let me be frank with you in this review. My feelings are mixed. It doesn't really capture my desire to keep turning the page. Alright I admit, I haven't read Fallout Equestria as much as you guys because it's too long for me to finish. I will be honest to you though, even as I read this fic without context, my willing suspension of belief is already broken.
First off let me start by saying I love the world building, but it boarders on info dump, because even this is hard to believe without proper justifications.
So America has fallen and the North Koreans have taken over... but aren't they still a puppet of China? Since they have the biggest economy all over the world, they also have a greater military compared to NK, If America were to fall they would be the first to invade, socially and geographically, they don't even need to send an army, since America owes a lot of debt to China in the world bank.
The Chinese can repossess them legally, without pointing a gun in their heads. The most realistic thing that can happen, is when America gets tired of the Chinese invasion of influence and declares war on them. Starting WW3, NK would declare war on them back since they are pledged to China. This will worry South Korea as they are allies to America, the NK's will start crossing the demilitarized zone and attempt to invade SK. China will also start arming their communist/socialist allies. Particularly, Vietnam can start invading South East Asia, and so on.
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You sure like gun descriptions, however you gotta ask yourself, is it that relevant to the story?
Scotch Tape is way too trusting on the two big mythological men carrying guns. Your ideas are good but it lacks conflict. Picture yourself in the pony's shoes, so your cold, wet and alone on a place I don't even know, I was found by two mythical creatures holding firearms. What would my reaction be? Should I be wary of the strangers until I've grown to trust them, or should I immediately tell them my life story?
I mean the way you wrote it can't happen in real life. Sure this is a fanfic, but it has to be believable if you want to retain viewer retention.
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I also have a problem with the protagonist, his name is irrelevant, but his voice isn't. Who is really talking? Is it you the author or the PTSD suffering character? Lets say I'm a soldier who seen the worst, civilians and children murdered in front my eyes. I could be a hardened cynic until a glimmer of hope was shown. This brightly colored pony can be a confirmation that this world hasn't fallen.
His and the other's characterization is weird, my heart wouldn't be melting as of yet, it's not earned. I would pity the poor creature but other than that my friendship with this pony hasn't begun. They interact as if they've found a lost ally, not unlike two suffering souls. You're also simply telling me what they are feeling, instead of describing to me the actions intertwining with their feelings.
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What am I reading? Am I reading a war fic or a game fic? Because its odd to mix genre, you're indulging yourself in the hobbies and entertainment you know, but it doesn't move the story forward, it's something I can gloss over without missing anything, cause I get it already the kid and the pony became friends. You can compress the entire gaming scene into a single paragraph.
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I hope you don't find this too harsh but you gotta work on your research, conflict, and realistic dialogues. This isn't an in depth analysis, but this is my take on what's wrong with the story. Sorry if my appraisal isn't possitive
8788957
I know and I respect that,the story is based on the homefront video game, which hasn’t a realistic scenario but for a character like Scotch Tape, it was the most suiting idea I could think of, given it’s semiliar to Fallout
Started reading, and it's certainly not bad. The entire "talking pony meets human" thing like usual was too casual, but was still a fine chapter. People really should understand this is based in a universe of a game.
8837087
Finally somebody who understands. Why do you think I made that note in the discription? That said, I hope you will enjoy the story.
Really good chapter, but maybe a little relaxed in the whole pony-meets-human thing (I know you've heard this a lot by looking at the comments, and you don't like it - but they are right about one thing despite their negativity). Keep writing, though - this is awesome!!
9400660
Glad to hear that you like it
As I see a pony wearing clothes
Also I'm not a huge fan of war stories
9535804
Well, I had no proofreader at the time. And my stories are to be sort of anti-war, showing how kids suffer the most here