• Member Since 28th Jun, 2017
  • offline last seen March 21st

Sliver Swirl


Hello, Everyone.

E

This story is a sequel to I am Not a Pony


Spike knows he is a dragon, and is proud to be one. But he has no fire, and no wings.

But when he discovers his flame defending his mother, will the consequences be to severe for a baby dragon. Or will his mother, Twilight, save him. And what does this have to do with the fact that Spike was once dead?


Disclaimer: I do not own MLP or the characters, but the storyline is mine.

Chapters (1)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 22 )

Where do the griffons come in?

This.... was horrible. Not only are there multiple spelling mistakes but how could you write a story so cruel to Spike?

So Spike basically underwent the equivalent of a gelding so he can be bound to Twilight forever!? Also why is Shining Armor being a fucking jackass!? It's not in character for him to do that.

I like this story.....I really do:ajsmug:
but I also want to say in a smart ass tone, how I love that the Sandy unicorn asshole stabbed Twilight?.....the student and practically daughter of Princess Celestia!...with his bucking horn and yet nothing is done to him...
Celestia and Shinning armor didn't even seem to care about what he did to Twilight?.... and I have two sisters
myself albeit both are older then me:unsuresweetie: but if I ever found out either of them were stabbed.....I don't care how high up in the government he was.....I have two clawed gauntlets that I would turn crimson with his blood because that fucker would not live to see the next day.

8393890
Thanks fo your comment. That was a mistake :pinkiehappy:.

8393977
Thanks for your comment, so Spike is not really bound to Twilight. It's more like he is staying with her because he has no one else and he feels betrayed by everypony else, like Celestia for not protecting the most important pony in Spikes life.

Also yeah, I definietly made Shining a jackass but that is only because I find him to be a jackass.
Thanks for your opinion anyway.


8393919
Thanks for commenting. Could you please tell me what the mistakes and also yeah I probably was a bit cruel to Spike. I just wanted to write a story that highlight a story that showed how hard it was for him and why his flames are different. Anyway thanks for your opinion.

8394247
:rainbowderp:........I'm a bit confused on what your comment means?:unsuresweetie:
I'm hoping based on the faces you liked my comment, but you could also just as easily disturbed by it, so I'm not sure:moustache:

8394256
I liked your comment :pinkiehappy:
It was great

So trying to kill Twilight is apparently acceptable, but defending her makes you the villain... WHAT THE FUCK!?! I know the nobles have the combined IQ of a potato, but whats Celestias and Shinings excuse?

This was a roller coaster of emotions. You certainly could easily immerse yourself in the emotions Spike and Twilight were going through. Both still quite young and trying to do what they felt made the most sense. It's so hard to think straight when your life revolves around your mother, in Spike's case, as Twilight was assaulted with information that would make her cringe at the thought that her achievement in hatching Spike was frowned upon by so many ponies. Having Princess Celestia fairly "Hooves Off" of the situation only added to the tension. Not to mention how it was Shining Armor who had to bring his sister in while having notable negative feelings about Spike.

This certainly was worth the extra 3,000 words. They were very meaningful and I'd dislike knowing what would have been left out if you had stopped anywhere but at where you did.

Only issues are a few spelling errors. These can be easily fixed. They weren't enough to break the flow of reading the story but, if you are looking to enter this in another contest, you may benefit to clean up some word usage and spelling. :)

8394751
I guess Celestia and Shinging thought they were doing the right thing by just doing their jobs.
Thanks for your comment


8395240
Thanks for your comment and for reading.

This is an interesting idea for a story but sadly i doesn't work on multiple levels.
While I can buy Shinning being a jackass due to him putting orders over family, which even then is a bit out of character, the fact that Sandy gets no comeuppance makes no sense. Mainly because the dude stabbed the Princess's personal student. All Twilight would have to do is tell what happened and the dude would likely be locked up. Granted the indecent would likely still make the nobles cry out for something to be done about the danger of Spike's ability to breath fire.
The story also doesn't work because we've seen Spike use both his teleportation fire as well as normal burning fire in the show multiple times.

8396931
Thanks for your comment and thanks for pointing that out. I had forgotten that Spike had used normal fire, but technically my story still works (sort of) because his fire is still non-lethal.

I might go back and edit it to make it more realistic. Again thanks for pointing that out :pinkiehappy:

8397692
More or less true on the non-leathel part. As far as I know the only thing he's lit with normal fire is wooden logs/campfires so i could see buy them doing an operation that severely reduced the intensity of his flames.
The flames would still be able to burn a pony, but at worst they would be as hot as a stove turned up to high.

There is a few things that don't sit well with me.

The first is the nobles sat in that theater and literally watched, Assualt, attempted murder, and torture of another pony. The princess's personal student no less. The political gain for even attempting to intervene or going to the authorities would have at least one or more acting.

Sandy Darling's political move is by far the biggest thing that doesn't sit well with me. He almost kills Twilight -Who is so important that Celestia literally drags her back to Canterlot after the fact- yet can demand Spike be punished more severely and actually get backed in this move. The blatant ignoring of facts. Major political suicide for any noble and almost makes wish Nightmare Moon whooped Celestia

The punishment...

The facts are that Sandy is probably burned pretty badly, but if he is later said to be okay then I can assume he will retain his magic using abilities as a unicorn. Maybe suffer some physical handicaps, but clearly maintains his influence politically. Spike, for doing the right thing, gets three options that even villians never were saddled with. Be put in monitored cage like a criminal, Have his birthright powers permanently changed, which as far as we know Sandy hasn't had to endure, or be sent back to the dragons. Sending a young dragon raised in Equestria to the dragons would be death sentence given some of what we picked up on dragon culture. Even if he did survive with the dragons, the bitterness would end up lending his support to the likes of Garble, and potentially he would be facing ponies on a different scale.

Don't take my ranting the wrong way, it was a great story, and I enjoyed reading it. It's just your take on Spike's past and I respect that. I just hate seeing people or characters doing the right thing, leadership knows their doing the right thing, and yet the one who does the right thing pays the biggest price all because of wounded pride, politics, and hate. How scary to real life this story actually is.

8580910
Thanks for your comment. I probably went a bit far with all of that stuff. I'm glad you enjoyed it :pinkiehappy:

8580910
Like the old saying says "No good deed goes unpunished"

Also I agree with everything said in this comment yet I would have liked it better if Celestia did alter Spike's fire alone as a comprimise with the Noble but also used the facts of the situation to put the Nobles in their place.

9119134
Thanks for your comment. I've been thinking about doing a sequel where he gets what he deserves. Mwhahaha :pinkiecrazy:

Not really a fan of this one unlike the first one in the series. I can't really see the princess permanently punishing Spike when the pony he attacked had just badly injured/potentially killed his mother (and her personal student) and was still busy threatening him. Even if she had to do something she didn't allow Twilight the obvious 4th option of leaving Equestria with Spike.

9120463
I can imagine that whenever next Sandy Darling thinks that he can get one back over on Twilight or Spike and thinks that he can get away with it by being of Noble Blood, only for his family to disavow him and declare him no longer of their House and can be subject to the Laws and Penalties dictated by the offended or suffering party: House Light and its heiress Twilight Sparkle will have reached the end of her patience for Sandy Darling and allow Spike the chance to have him made an example of for racist beliefs through the return of the flames that he had stolen from her Son. But before he is restored; he will show the ponies exactly how "safe" his fire is as they once believed: it can't sear the flesh or boil the blood... but it still needs to burn oxygen in order to live...

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!