Steve Axios is a student pilot, living the dream as he works towards flying a plane professionally. But how well does he truly know what he wants, and whether he's truly happy?
One fateful day, when taking off for a routine flight to gain experience, his plane enters a stray portal to the magical land of Equestria. With the help of our favorite ponies, he attempts to return home... and fails. This leads him to spend some time in Equestria, exploring the true meaning of friendship- but not without being forced to make some hard calls...
A Song of Transformation follows Steve in his misadventures across Equestria as he embarks on a journey of self discovery.
Chapters (14)
Let me start off by saying that this is an incredible first story! At least, the first that you've published on Fimfiction. Based on how well you wrote this, as well as your amazing use of first person present tense, I'd like to make the assumption that this is definitely not your first time writing something like this.
The flight terminology scattered throughout this chapter (and, I assume, the following two) suggests intimate knowledge of the subject. Is that the case?
Either way, awesome story!
The only two errors I noticed were accidentally-repeated words, and neither was glaring enough to break the flow of the story.
While unfortunate, it was kind of a given he wouldn't make it back home that easily. There wouldn't be much of a story if they were to succeed!
Ah, so my thought was right! He was (is?) a pegasus in his dreams. Interesting. I'm kind of expecting him to turn into that pony at some point. Whether that happens or not is up to you, but color me intrigued. (Of course, I haven't read Chapter 3 as of writing this, so...)
Oh. Well thanks, Rainbow Dash, for saying that not two minutes after I wrote the above line.
I can definitely see where Steve's hesitance is coming from, everything considered.
And if that does come to pass (and it's seeming more and more likely as I read on), I'm certain it'll be for longer than a few days.
Yeah, that first part makes sense, considering all the differences in anatomy (not least of which is bipedalism vs. quadrupedalism). Of course, being a pegasus would be awesome.
Rainbow Dash is going to be an... interesting teacher. Good luck, Steve!
Only one thing I noticed this time.
Another great chapter! Although it felt like not as much happened here, there was definitely a lot of plot advancement. So Steve is almost certainly going to be turned into a pegasus, now. I'm definitely interested!
good story i would like to see more
i like more please
man I like how this story has been so far keep it up :D love to see what happens next :D
Yep, the transformation was about as painful for him as I expected.
His initial reaction, on the other hand, is a bit unexpected. I mean, he wanted to be a pegasus, didn't he? (Although he just woke up after being in extreme pain, and probably isn't thinking as clearly as he probably would be otherwise, so yeah). Overall, nothing lastingly bad happened, and now that things have settled down a bit, he's a pegasus! He and Rainbow Dash are going to have fun flying, I can tell!
Not sure if the story is really on hiatus or it is just an error... (I didn't read the story yet)
EDIT: *reads the blog* nvm
8394992
Yeah, it's on hiatus. I've had a few select moments at my desk, but not enough to type out more than a short prologue, let alone an entire chapter. Definitely looking forward to continuing, though, because the events that transpire in the Crystal Empire will shed more light on how the portal happened and why Steve's first attempt to return failed, as well as fill in a few of the story's holes that I've come across while re-reading the earlier chapters
You need more likes!
EDIT: ignore that, I accidentally clicked the wrong watch folder. x.X
8411329
Hey, no problem. Thanks for adding this story to your shelf in the first place... may I ask what I did to deserve that?
-M.T.
8411397
It's a human in equestria story, I often put them on watch if the description or first chapter catches my interest.
8411403
Glad to hear I'm doing something right. Thank you again, and enjoy!
-M.T.
The story so far is good, although a few minor parts of the story need some pacing.
Quite the interesting prologue! I probably should've realized it was sometime in the future from how he was able to fly the plane solo.
This definitely sets a clear picture for the background of the fic, and allows for a smooth transition into the story. Great job!
Edit: added spoiler tag, just in case.
As someone who has not yet read Fallout: Equestria, their epiphany left me confused. What is it about the gems that's important?
Hang on, his trip to Equestria made it so that he never existed on Earth? And the opposite would occur if he were to travel back? That is a lot to take in.
Suddenly, a sonic boom. He really is a natural at flying, isn't he? (I'm about 75% sure that his cutie mark is going to be related to it.)
8420028
Without spoiling too much of FoE for anyone who hasn't read it yet, the gems are pretty much to magical energy weapons what Energy Cells, Microfusion Cells, and Electron Charge Packs are to the energy weapons of Fallout
Maaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyybbeeee... (Neither confirming nor denying that one, for obvious reasons)
Your about 15 years late on the technology. The air liners today would be flown without pilots all together if it weren't for FAA regs and human histerics. The same tech that flies drones today would be capable of flying airliners if we would let it.
Technically speaking, FoE won't happen in this universe because it was prevented the moment that Twilight ascended into an Alicorn.
She was a unicorn in FoE
When I first saw Press F to pay respects I was like what? What does that.... oh wait, now I remember...
Your writing skills have gone up since you started the story. Grats.
Now if I was the protagonist, I would be furious that I had my memories erased. It's kinda my pet peve. It's essentially mind control by editing past experiences. Beter to deal with issues than to ignore them. I kinda get the felling this was the rout taken cause the argument sene would have been hard to write. For me this would be something would be a friendship killer to Celestia.
Keep up the good work.
8455450
Looking foward to seeing how it ties in.
Damn. The start is amazing!
F
Sorry dude, but if there's one thing D.C and Marvel movies taught me, it's that people named "Steve" should stay away from planes.
8584481
My sides... I hurt from laughing at that one. Thank you so much; I needed that bad
Non-canon or not, this was sweet.
What annoys me here is he didn't have the choice.
*IF* the issue is that they believed that his decision was being impaired by his current body, then the place to do it is in the dream realm where such things are not so much an issue.
8607738
Actually, something that would have strengthened the whole chapter would have been instead of saying "I blocked your memories of the past 24 hours from you" would have been "I blocked the memories of Ponyville for the past 24 hours."
The difference here is, he "was combative" which I can tell you I'd be, but *BUT* Rainbow Dash would support him. Heck some of the wonderbolts might support him! Yes I know chain of command and everything and Celestia can do no wrong, but they worked together and they flew together -- losing ones wings to a pegasus like Spitfire would be like death. And Steve did nothing worthy of death.
The way I see that playing out is Celestia coming in and ending up fighting Steve, Rainbow Dash, elements of the Wonderbolts, etc, with ponies choosing both sides -- kind of like war. Discord might be amused at the whole parallel.
In essence Celestia had to resort to "the big one" from Men in Black once the deed was done.
Also note that all that training is down the drain. Plus the pain on both sides. This even before the memory wipe.
----
Actually if I was bent on making such a thing, I would have done all of the above as a chapter with the memory wipe at the end of it... Then the next chapter would start with a letter....
Please work on this I want to know what happens don't let it die
10412051
Fret not... it lives
10423178
oh do continue it lol
8330136
So the 737 using Airbus callouts in 2035 is intentional
I suppose it could be worse...
It could be using MD callouts
Tracking beacon activated. I rarely do this to HiE stories, so there's that.
I don't understand why the transformation had to be so dramatic when Discord can transform someone with a snap of his fingers and Starswirl's mirror portals transform the travelers without so much as a hiccup. I won't mention Spring Breakdown since that came out in 2019. Equestria Girls came out in 2013 and shows up within the franchise multiple times. It kind of makes it look like Celestia deliberately made it painful to dissuade the nobles from pestering her for transformations.
A Group is a unit of two to four squadrons.
10569303
Oh I got it, and your right, no one is going to reprimand him. Nor was I pointing it as as your flub, I was pointing it out as his flub. They might teas him later on.
The way I was taught is that when calling any number of individuals to attention, outside of a formation, no modifiers are used. Maybe things have changed? Slightly larger than a platoon is still a platoon unless it's Air Force where Flight would be the designation. Above that we have such terms as Company and Squadron. They are basically the same thing, as is Brigade and Group. Brigade is still used by the Army, and Group is typically an Air Force thing but not always as things such as Brigade group or Battle group may exist on a temporary basis.
But then again, does it really matter?
Hi, curious outsider who hasn't read the story here, but is the MC a werewolf or something? Not harping on werewolves–top 5 fantasy creatures honestly–I'm just curious since the cover art, title, and descriptions are giving me a pretty strong vibe of them.
Again, not hating or harping or whatever, just curious.
11311103
That's a negative, Ghostrider. MC is NOT a werewolf.
Title is meant to reflect that the story touches on themes of identity exploration and personal growth. No more, no less.
As for the cover art... it was a good stock photo with a clean silhouette, and 6-years-ago!me decided (s)he could use it instead of commissioning cover art that wasn't in the budget