• Published 25th Oct 2012
  • 4,058 Views, 82 Comments

The Name Game - Brony Tom



When Applebloom finally gets her Cutie Mark, things take a turn for the worse.

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As It Is Written, So It Shall Be

The Name Game
By: Brony Tom


“Apple Bloom, what have I told you about paying attention in class?”

With a start, the yellow-coated filly in question nearly jumped out of her seat, frantically turning to face Miss Cheerilee. Coming back down to reality, her senses were assaulted by all the information there was to take in: the unbearable heat in the stuffy classroom; the sickly-sweet scent of sweaty students that sat surrounding her; the unblinking eyes of her peers all staring accusingly at her. She straightened her posture before replying.

“You told me that I could wait until after class to think about how I could improve the structural integrity of the school, Miss Cheerilee.”

“Yes, I did. Now, I want you to do so. Why don't you come up front with me? You won't be distracted any more.”

“Yes, Miss Cheerilee.”

Apple Bloom pushed herself up and out of the desk and began to trot up towards the front of the classroom, in the process exposing her flank- and the mark thereon- to the rest of the class. It had only been a little more than a week since she'd finally gotten her cutie mark, a blank sheet of draft paper overlaid with a ruler and a pencil.

Some of the floorboards squeaked as Apple Bloom stepped on them, a testament to the ever-increasing age of the old schoolhouse. Not only that, but the tacky, faded tan-colored paint on the walls was beginning to show the first signs of chipping, and the lack of fans forced the students to rely on the fickle winds for cooling on this stifling hot, late Summer day.

Before she could make it all the way to Miss Cheerilee's desk, the final bell of the school day rang. For the second time that day, Apple Bloom jolted a little. She shook her head to try and clear her thoughts. Before she knew it, all of the colts and fillies had stampeded out of the classroom, leaving her and Miss Cheerilee alone in the building.

'Bloom', as her friends had taken to calling her, dashed to her desk to gather her things. Just as she stuffed the last item haphazardly into her schoolbag, she saw a shadow loom over her. With a nervous gulp, she slowly looked up to see what it was.

Miss Cheerilee looked back down at Apple Bloom, a worried frown on her face. She put a hoof on the filly's bag to keep her from going anywhere.

“Apple Bloom, are you alright? We've only been in school for a week and a half, but you've already failed most of the quizzes I've given to the class. Not only that, but you've been much less energetic these last few days. What's wrong? You can talk to me, and if there's a problem, I can help.”

The little yellow filly sighed, and began tugging with her hoof at the red ribbon in her hair.

“Er, well... It's kinda embarrassin', Miss Cheerilee.”

“Well, I can't help you unless you let me. If there's anything you need...” Cheerilee trailed off at the end.

“Oh, it's- I just- ever since school started, I've been having trouble rememberin' stuff,” mumbled Bloom, vigorously inspecting the grains in the floorboards and twiddling her bow. “Like just now, when the bell rang- I knew class was supposed to end soon, but I plum forgot right when you called on me. It's- I'm having a hard time focusin' on things, and, well- it's not just in school, either.”

“Oh?”

“Well, just yesterday, Sweetie Belle and I stopped in at Sugarcube Corner to get some treats, and as we were walking out, we accidentally bumped into- into... aw, shucks, I can't even remember who we bumped into!”

Apple Bloom sank to her haunches, tears beginning to form a glaze over her eyes. Cheerilee's eyes widened before she enveloped the younger pony in a warm, comforting hug.

“There, there. I know it can be frustrating not remembering things- it happens to me all the time! As a matter of fact, a lot of grown-ups have trouble with their memories, and it sometimes can get very bad as you get older.”

Bloom sniffled a bit and reciprocated her teacher's hug.

“Wow. Um, t-thanks, Miss Ch-cheerilee. I was afraid I was the only one, or maybe I had some kind of bump on the head or something. B-but anyway, when we bumped into... whoever it was, Sweetie and I went to apologize, and I couldn't remember her name then, either. And I knew that I knew who that mare was, I practically grew up next door to her. I- I just felt so terrible-”

“It's okay, Apple Bloom. If you want, I can help you organize a method to help you remember things easier. I am here to help you, so whatever you need, just say the word.” A gentle smile formed on the teacher's face.

Apple Bloom slipped out of the comforting hug and wiped the un-shed tears from her eyes. After a few more sniffles, she smiled at last and picked up her schoolbag, which she slung over her shoulders.

“I would appreciate that, Miss Cheerilee, I really would. But, it'll have to wait until tomorrow, 'cuz today I'm supposed to go help my sister with- with, um...” The filly let out an embarrassed chuckle before continuing. “Well, I'm supposed to go help my sister with some chores today, so I'll see you later, Miss Cheerilee!”

Apple Bloom waved over her shoulder even as she dashed out of the stuffy schoolhouse. Cheerilee watched her go, a hesitant smile on her face.

A sudden thought caused the teacher to frown.

“Wait a minute- Apple Bloom said she's been having memory trouble since school started... that was right after she got her cutie mark.” Cheerilee's frown morphed into a thoughtful expression as she watched the little yellow filly galloping off towards Sweet Apple Acres.


=====


Apple Bloom woke with a start. Looking up with eyes still bleary with sleep, she saw a shadowy figure standing over her. She gave a startled cry and tumbled frantically away from the figure, rolling off of her bed in a panic. Now tangled in the sheets, she thrashed around trying to right herself and get to her hooves.

“Whoa, there, sugar, it's just me,” said the figure.

Bloom ceased her tossing and turning on the ground at the sound of the familiar voice. She looked up, now barely recognizing the pony in the pre-dawn light as Applejack, her sister. The yellow filly stood up slowly, her heart still racing from the fright she'd had. With a heavy sigh, she lifted her hooves in a lazy attempt to get the sheets disentangled from her limbs.

“What's wrong, Apple Bloom? Ever since last week, you've been actin' all funny.” As she spoke, Applejack reached up and began fiddling with her stetson. “If I didn't know better, I'd say ya'll had got somepony to replace you. Is it your memory again? I said earlier, we can talk to the doc-”

“No!” snapped Apple Bloom, her eyes flashing with a sudden vigor before returning to their prior lethargic state. “I- I don't need to see a doctor, not yet. In fact, I was just talkin' with Miss Cheerilee yesterday about it. We agreed we'd meet up today to work out a plan.”

Applejack took a step back at her sister's sudden outburst.

“Well, if you say so, sugar. If- if ya'll need anythin', anythin' at all, just- you just let me know, a-alright?” Applejack struggled to keep her voice level, but a tiny amount of worry caused her voice to quaver slightly as she spoke. The orange mare hastily mumbled something about “getting started on breakfast” and trotted out from the room.

Apple Bloom hung her head and finally freed herself from her bedsheets. Grunting, she tossed them onto her bed and began arranging them in their proper order. Her body practically took care of the work itself, as if the muscles in her body remembered the pattern they needed to move in and did so autonomously.

It was always the same when making her bed- first you pick up the light, checkered flannel sheets by the right edge, then you place yourself at the foot of the bed on the right side and toss the sheets over. Check to make sure you've got the orange squares on this side, and the red squares on the other. Tuck the edges under the mattress, then smooth out the surface.

All the while her mind was free to roam, and roam it did.

I know Big Sis is just concerned about me, but- I can handle this, can't I? I'm a big filly now, I have my Cutie Mark, for Celestia's sake! For once, I'm gonna take care of something on my own, so AJ doesn't have to get involved or nothing.

Finished making her bed, Apple Bloom trotted off to the bathroom down the hall, almost in a trance-like state. The hallway was even darker than her room, since there were no windows, and she was only able to navigate the path by memory. The familiar, comfortable feeling of the solid oak floor beneath her hooves brought a much-needed, albeit sleepy smile to her face. The soft clip, clop, clip, clop of her hooves, as well as the occasional creak of old wood under pressure, made for a calming rhythm as she approached the bathroom. She caught a whiff of pancakes cooking, which mixed pleasantly with the ever-present scent of fresh wood, apples, and a little bit of sweat. The odor felt natural in her nose, having grown up with it, and Apple Bloom closed her eyes to just let her senses guide her.

She reached for the handle to open the door and trotted into the bathroom, smiling broadly, and turned on the shower faucet. The warm water had mostly been used up, so Apple Bloom decided to give their old bucket-of-bolts heater a few minutes for a new supply. She let out a great big yawn, her tiredness from before creeping up on her again, and with much more force than before.

You know, I really ought to get down there and try and fix that old thing up. It'll be good practice for... I dunno, for something, at least. And maybe I can fix up some of the old paint and walls around here, too- it's getting a little annoying to see peeling paint and sagging wood all over the place. Well, as long as I have my family and friends with me, I can take on any challenge. Pretty soon, things will be back to the way they should be!

Right now, though, I'm beat... I think I'll just close my eyes for a few seconds while the water warms up...


=====



Apple Bloom's eyes snapped open. Her thoughts, her mind, both felt clearer than they had in a week. The brightness of daylight through the bathroom window illuminated the smooth, firm wooden walls of the bathroom. All the colors of the spectrum seemed clearer, like they should be, as though her eyes had had a fog lifted from them. The steady pattering sound of running water pealed like thunder between the tight spacing of the walls.

“Oh, fiddlesticks, how long have I been asleep? And I even left the shower on! Oh no, oh no,” fretted the filly. She quickly bounded over to the shower and turned it off, the warm water immediately ceasing to flow. “I can't believe nopony came and woke me up or anything, that's not like them.”

Concerned and more than a little anxious, Apple Bloom cantered to the door and opened it a crack. There was no response. Perking her ears up, the filly turned all of her concentration on listening for any activity; no sounds reached her ears. Frowning, she pushed the door the rest of the way open, flinching at the loud squeaks and squeals that the old door hinges gave off.

Apple Bloom cautiously stepped out into the hall, but still there was no response from anypony. Or anything, for that matter. The filly walked at a snail's pace through the farm house; as she went, she made it a point to step over all the boards that she knew would creak if she stepped on them. Getting to the stairs without incident only heightened her unease. It was at the top of the stairs that she noticed something that made her freeze in place. In the air was a pervasive aroma of old wood, apples, and a little bit of sweat.

“I can't smell pancakes any more,” whispered Apple Bloom, panic beginning to edge into her voice. “When Big Sis makes pancakes, the smell doesn't go away for hours!”

“Aha! There ya are, sugar,” called out a voice from behind the filly. With a yelp, she turned around and saw Applejack standing in the hallway behind her. “I was wonderin' where ya'd gone off to.”

“Applejack? What's going on? Where is everypony? And what happened to breakfast?” Bloom blurted out, her questions beginning to blend together in her haste.

“Whoa, slow down there, Apple Bloom. Let's go and grab you a quick bite to eat first, ya'll must be starvin'. I'll explain then.”

Apple Bloom nodded and the two trotted down the stairs and into the kitchen; when Applejack took the lead, the filly cast a discreet sniff in the direction of her sister. There was the expected scent of apples and sweat, as well as some things Bloom didn’t recognize, one of which was sweet and one of which was... bitter?

Applejack reached the bottom stair, which elicited an extra-loud squeak from the wood, which Apple Bloom’s own hooves soon mimicked. Once in the kitchen proper, the older mare trotted to one of the cupboards and pulled out a few apples.

“What can I getcha, Bloom?”

As the younger pony trotted into the kitchen behind her sister, she paused and had to blink a few times at the brightness of the colors and oddly high level of detail she could make out in the room. Not only that, but the complex concoction of myriad different, barely detectable odors was surreal in its clarity, leaving her slightly confused and disoriented.

That’s weird, I don’t remember everything being so... clear, thought Apple Bloom. She was torn from her thoughts by her sister’s question.

“What? O-oh, er, a few apple pancakes would be nice, if you wouldn't mind, AJ,” replied the filly, taking a seat at the table. The coolness of the seat was comforting to her still-heightened anxiety. “So, tell me, Sis, what happened? Where is everypony?”

Applejack lifted a pan in her mouth and set it on the stove with a soft clatter. As she gathered the rest of the ingredients and utensils necessary to her task, she spoke.

“Alright, sugar, here's how things went down after you nodded off; Braeburn, Big Mac and I were all down here, having breakfast and talkin' about how things were doin' on our respective farms. Well, just as we were about to finish, Twi shows up and tells us to come quick, there's somethin' terrible goin' on in town. The three of us got up and followed her, and sure enough, there was all kinds o' critters runnin' around Ponyville. Fluttershy said somethin' about a disturbance in the forest scarin' 'em all, so most of us spent the better part of the mornin' roundin' up all the critters and gettin' 'em back where they belong. I got back only a minute or two before I bumped into you.”

Apple Bloom's eyebrows rose progressively during her sister's conversation, and all the while the tantalizing smell of pancakes and apples wafted throughout the kitchen. After all was said and done, Applejack looked over her shoulder and gave a warm smile before trotting over with a plate of six large apple pancakes, each coated with syrup and stacked one on top of the other. The sight made Apple Bloom's mouth water involuntarily.

“Thanks, AJ. By the way, did you ever hear about what made all the animals all riled up? I can't imagine it would be something small, so I'm just concerned that maybe there's another threat out there somewhere.”

The yellow filly slid the plate towards her, and took the napkin offered to her by her sister, which she promptly folded and placed in her lap.

“Shucks, Apple Bloom, that's mighty insightful of ya. As a matter of fact, though, I did hear from Fluttershy what it was after we finished roundin' up all the animals; apparently it was a hydra that wandered out of the bog and into the forest, but fortunately it didn't come near Ponyville or do any damage before it went trampin' back home. And would ya please not do that with yer napkin? Ya'll know I don't like gettin' all fancy if it's just family.”

“Oh, sorry, AJ. I guess I kinda forgot.” Apple Bloom paused the process of breathing in the insanely delicious aroma of pancakes in order to take her napkin from her lap and tie it around her neck. She received a nod of approval from her sister, and so she picked up her knife and fork again. This time, she didn't pause until she'd gouged out a huge amount from the stack, and speared it with her fork. “Where is everypony, anyway?” asked the filly.

“Oh, er, Big Mac is already out in the orchards, and Granny is um, I think she’s in her room doing some knitting, and Braeburn is, well-”

Applejack stopped speaking and gazed with curiosity at her sister, who had paused just as she was about to devour the hunk of pancake. Apple Bloom's eyes were wide.

“You mean you don’t know where everypony is?”

Applejack, suddenly uncomfortable, frowned.

“Now that ain't true, sugar, I do know where they are. I was just having some trouble remembering at first, that’s all.”

Applejack reached over to put a comforting hoof around her sister, but before she could reach the filly, Apple Bloom smacked Applejack's hoof away.

Applejack's mouth fell open, her eyes widening in shock as she stared in silence at her younger sister. Apple Bloom returned her shocked gaze with one full of fire and anger. She dropped the fork with the hunk of pancake, which hit her plate with a deafening clatter amidst the deadly quiet, and stood up out of her seat.

“I knew something odd was going on- you're not my sister!” Apple Bloom pointed an accusatory hoof at the pony who claimed to be her older sister.

“W-what? Of course I'm you're sister, Bloom! Are you having trouble remembering that now, too?”

“No, I'm not, imposter. If you really wanted me to believe you were Applejack, you should have paid more attention.”

“Alright, sure, fine, I'm not your sister. How can you be so sure?”

Apple Bloom began circling the other pony like a shark, never taking her eyes off of the creature wearing her sister's body.

“Well, the first thing that tipped me off was when we were coming down the stairs- Applejack never steps on the bottom one, because she hates how loudly it squeaks whenever anypony uses it. Second thing that really had me going was when you made me breakfast- the real Applejack knows that I always eat apple pancakes for breakfast. She's never asked me what I wanted to eat for breakfast. Although, I have to be honest, you did throw me there for a while with the napkin- I was seeing if you'd catch that, since I know it's one of Big Sis' pet peeves. So that was why I had to do one last test, just to make absolutely sure you weren't my sister.”

Apple Bloom paused trotting her circle around the imposter. With overly-dramatic flair, she pointed at the creature with a hoof.

“When I pretended to be upset about you not knowing where everypony was, you got nervous, and when Applejack gets nervous, she always fiddles with her stetson, just like I do with my bow!”

There was absolute silence for a moment, and then the not-quite-Applejack began to laugh uproariously. The mare held her hooves to her sides, tears spilling out of her eyes, and after a while she even rolled out of the chair and onto the floor.

“W-what? What's so funny?” shouted Apple Bloom, taking a few involuntary steps away from her not-sister.

Immediately, the laughter ceased. The figure in Applejack's form looked up with a bemused expression.

“You want to know what's funny? All of your accusations against me.”

“Why are they so amusing to you?”

“Because they're true.”

As the being spoke, her eyes flashed a malicious green, and became draconic in appearance. Bright slashes of green flame began to dance around her body as she floated to her hooves, and eventually the faux Applejack was engulfed completely in the fire. A moment later, the globe of heat and sickly green light burst in a flare of energy, revealing a tall, spindly black creature that resembled a pony. The thing that immediately stuck out to Apple Bloom was a heavy, oppressingly sticky-sweet smell, like somepony had gathered a mound of sugar and burned it. Behind the sweetness, though, was another, bitter scent, one that Apple Bloom had trouble pinning down.

Only afterward did she notice the long, jagged black horn that jutted out of the creature's head, the insectoid, gossamer wings that fluttered at the being's side, and the holes that pock-marked the mare's body in several places.

Apple Bloom's eyes widened in fright and she began backing up more rapidly from the changeling before her. The two stood locked in a stare, neither side blinking as the changeling would take a step forward, and the filly a step back.

“I- I know you from somewhere,” muttered Apple Bloom. “You were at the w-wedding, weren't you?”

“Oh? You remember me? I should feel honored, I suppose. What, pray tell, is my name, then, child?”

“You, um, you're the- the Queen! You're the Queen of the Changelings!” As she spoke, Bloom's eyes widened at the implications of her words.

“Yes indeed, little flower-filly. I am the Queen. I'm glad you fully understand what this means.” Chrysalis leered down at Apple Bloom, who had nearly backed herself out of the kitchen now.

“But- but how? What did you do to my sister! Where's Applejack?” shouted the filly, even as she continued to edge away from the Queen.

“It was simple, really. I don't know why I didn't try it earlier; I just waited until one day in the early morning, before sunrise, and whisked the ponies away while they slept. It was quite effective, might I add, with the sole exception of your early-bird relatives, I'm sorry to say.”

“W-what did you do with my family?” Apple Bloom heard the bottom stair squeal as she stepped on it with her hind hooves. “Where is everypony?”

“Oh, nothing extraordinary... I just devoured their minds.” Chrysalis let out an enormous, wicked grin, her fangs glistening with saliva in the light of day.

Apple Bloom's face blanched with horror, her eyes widening to the size of saucers. She tried to make words, but her voice wouldn't cooperate. She felt her hooves twitch, and then her gut, and shortly thereafter her whole body was shuddering in fright. No matter how hard she tried, Bloom couldn't take her eyes off of the heinous creature before her, every single, unbelievably clear detail forcing itself into her vision.

“Why are you doing this? Why are you going through all this trouble just for me?”

“Why? Such a silly question, really. I'm doing this because it's fun.” Chrysalis paused in her advance to raise a thoughtful hoof to her chin. “Although, I suppose I'm also doing it to test your mettle. I relish the challenge of sucking the love out of a squirming, kicking filly.”

“You’re sick! But- wait- how can you feed on love by kidnapping us and terrorizing us? That doesn't make any sense!”

“You're missing one crucial piece of information, dear; Changelings have more than one way of getting love out of ponies. In fact, the method I used on dear old Shining Armor is the weakest, most ineffective one we have. Oh, no, filly, the chief way I plan on getting your love out of you is through your memories.”

Apple Bloom was speechless. She froze in place at the top of the steps, staring in awe and confusion and shock at the Queen.

“Correct me if I'm wrong, little filly, but did I not overhear you earlier talking about how your friends and family could help you overcome challenges that you face? Even when they aren't physically present, you can still think about them and draw strength from their memories in your heart. That is the energy that your memories hold, and as a Changeling, I have the power to... shall we say, extract it.”

“You... really do eat ponies' minds?” Apple Bloom's voice was barely more than a whisper.

“If you want to put it that way, then yes, child, I eat the minds of ponies. Unfortunately for your kind, the effects are permanent, and any memory that I consume and drain of love is lost to you forever.”

At that, Apple Bloom's instincts finally got the better of her, and she turned tail and ran. With little room left in the hallway, she burst into Applejack's room at the very end of it and slammed the door shut behind her, quickly grabbing any furniture at hoof and using it to barricade the door. A blast of green fire burst through the door, punching out a hole the size of the filly's head. Gasping, she turned and ran for the only thing that came to her mind; the window.

Apple Bloom leaped out the open window, and behind her she heard the sound of the door being annihilated by unholy green magic. She couldn't focus on it, however, as she was already hurtling towards the ground at high speed. Her instincts as a Cutie Mark Crusader kicked in, and she tucked her body tightly together and rolled off the impact as she had learned to do during her many failed crusades. She quickly rose to her hooves using the remaining momentum and galloped off as quickly as she could towards Ponyville.

There has to be somepony in town who's still there, who can still help me! I just have to-

“You cannot escape me, filly!” came a tremendous shout from behind her. Bloom looked over her shoulder and saw the Queen flying after her, quickly closing the gap between the two of them. The filly began racking her brain for anything, any plan that might save her, a trick, a trap-

And then she felt herself being lifted off the ground. She looked down in dismay, and saw her body lit up by a pallid green aura. Behind her, she heard a whump as the Changeling Queen landed on the ground. Apple Bloom's heart raced even faster, and she began squirming as much as the magical field would permit. Unfortunately, her range of motion was essentially non-existant, and she was stuck facing forward while the monster casually trotted up behind her.

Clip, went the hoof of the Queen.

The filly felt her sweat dripping slowly down her body, felt the dampness in her fur, and the prickly sensation when a pony's blood chills in their veins. She could smell the sweat, its saltiness mixing with the moist, cool outside air and the scent of nature into an entirely unpleasant odor of terror.

Clop, went the hoof of the Queen.

Creeping into her nose once more was the intensely overpowering, all-pervasive smell of saccharine sweetness that the changeling exuded. The vortex of different aromas all mixing together left her quivering, her nose sending conflicting messages of delight and despair.

Clip, went the hoof of the Queen.

Apple Bloom could feel the malignant aura of the Queen's presence at her back, she could feel the creature deliberately stalling its gait to prolong the filly's agony. The fur on her back suddenly felt unbearably cold, a combination of the drain from the monster's mere presence, its shadow falling on her back, and the perspiration Bloom was shedding in gallons.

Clop, went the hoof of the Queen.

There was a sensation of something incredibly light and delicate brushing along her back, like an intangible film of miniscule ants crawling against her skin. Apple Bloom had no need to look back to tell that the changeling was standing directly beside her- the unnatural, unholy chill in the air told her that. A sudden, gentle movement of air whooshed past the filly's ear.

“Hello, Apple Bloom,” whispered the chitinous creature, the hot, revolting breath from its lungs tickling the filly's ears and clogging her nostrils and mouth with its odor. It was almost as though she could feel the minute currents of movement in the cloud of stench.

Bloom's pupils shrank to pinpricks, her ear muscles desperately straining themselves to flick back and disperse the oily fumes, but to no avail. Her lungs and throat contracted violently, trying to expel the noxious fog, only to stir it up even more. That was when Apple Bloom finally recognized the faint odor emanating from the Queen.

It was the smell of death. The deaths of untold multitudes all writhing in agony, rotting away in the belly of the beast beside her.

“W-what are you?” stammered Apple Bloom, barely managing to force her vocal cords to work.

“I'm a changeling, like I told you.” Another disgusting wave of death-breath washed over the filly's ear and face. The icy, filmy feeling on her back faded for a moment as the creature buzzed its wings to prove its point.

“No. I saw the real changelings in Canterlot, I smelled the real Queen. They might have been monsters, but you- you're something else. They didn't smell like- like death-”

“Pfah, what do you know? Besides, it won't even matter in a few minutes; you'll just be a quivering pile of pony, mindless and dead.”

Apple Bloom felt icy, sharp points gliding across the fur on and around her ear. A thick, warm slime began oozing across her skin in the same locations, following the prickly touch of the creature's fangs.

“I- I don't care!” shouted the filly suddenly, a zeal returning to her eyes as she spoke. “I don't care if you're going to suck out my soul or eat my brain or whatever, but I need to know- what did you do with everypony?”

The fangs of the monster stopped in their tracks.

“Whatever do you mean, Apple Bloom?”

“I mean, what happened to Equestria? Normally it’s bursting at the seams with all kinds of living creatures, but ever since I woke up in the bathroom, you and I have been the only breathing things I’ve seen.”

“I was hungry?” the Queen suggested, her voice sarcastic and playful.

“I honestly doubt even you could so completely wipe out life from Equestria, whatever you are. Wait a moment-” Apple Bloom’s eyes widened and her mouth slackened into a gape. “Are- are we even in Equestria?”

Bloom felt herself whip around in the telekinetic grasp of the mare, suddenly mere inches from the creature's face. The hot, putrid breath of the thing spewed in such high concentrations that she dry-heaved.

“You are a foal if you think that-”

“Shut up!” The Queen fell into silence at the force of the outburst from the filly.

“You've done nothing but play mind-games with me the whole time we've been here, wherever we really are. I'm tired of it! I just know that something is up with this world, I know it! And now that I think about it, there are a lot of things I should’ve picked up on before that I wrote off as being weird, but it all makes sense when you put it together. So tell me- what's really going on here?”

There was complete silence as the creature seemed to ponder something. After a seeming eternity, it frowned.

“Congratulations, Apple Bloom, you've won.”

Immediately the world exploded.


=====


Apple Bloom's eyes snapped open. She was in a dark room, whose walls were a plain, slate gray and made of a dull, dusty substance that the filly had never seen before. She tried to get up, but her muscles met with fluid resistance as soon as she went to move, like she was underwater. Extending her senses in her immediate area, she realized why she was unable to move her limbs normally; Bloom's entire body was encased in an amorphous, gelatin-like cocoon of pulsing, iridescent green slime.

A scream tried to force its way out of her mouth, but she found it impossible, as her lungs were already filled with the ooze and could make no sound. The filly began thrashing about, but her limbs quickly tired out from the increased effort required to move. Letting her muscles sag, she floated hopelessly in the goop. The feel of the stuff against her skin was almost non-existant, like she was hanging in mid-air, and the complete lack of any kind of smell or taste from the stuff, despite the fact that she was fully immersed in it, was wholly and utterly disturbing.

The sound of hoofsteps approaching made her momentarily cease her efforts to escape. Out of the gloom, a dark figure appeared, a pair of violet eyes glowing brightly amidst the darkness. Apple Bloom instinctively shrank back from the being, though there wasn't much room to maneuver in the small cocoon.

The creature stopped in front of the pod, the light in the room barely bright enough to reveal a bright pink coat, as well as an expansive pair of wings, a long, pointed horn, and a luscious, tri-colored mane of gold, pink, and violet. Apple Bloom's eyes widened in shock.

“Princess Cadance? What are you doing here?”

“The real question is: what are you doing here, Apple Bloom?”

“Wha-what?”

“'You've done nothing but play mind-games with me the whole time we've been here, wherever we really are. I'm tired of it.' Those are your exact words. So, as I said, the real question before us is not why I am here, but why a little farm filly named Apple Bloom is here. If you'll pardon me, though, I must say, you do have quite an exquisite name, as far as they go. It symbolizes the growth of life and the harmony between infancy and maturity. Quite poetic.”

Apple Bloom simply gaped in response, to which the Princess rolled her eyes.

“Ugh, you mortals never have the capacity to appreciate the finer things in life, not until it's too late. Truly, I sometimes question why I was given the burden of watching over Harmony- it's so much more depressing than watching over the Light or the Dark. Luna thinks she's got it bad, dealing with monsters all the time, but she hasn't had to deal with the average Equestrian citizen on a daily basis.” Cadance shook her head absently.

“Anyway, child, I will dispense with the illusions and trickery, as you ask. What you see all around us, and what you saw ever since waking up in the shower, has all been entirely inside of your mind. As to why we are even in your mind in the first place, I must refer to the trouble you've been having with your memories this last week.”

“Wait, you were behind that?”

“Indeed I was. Unfortunately for us both, you were strong enough to almost fully resist my enchantment.”

“What was it supposed to do?” The trepidation in the filly's voice was palpable. Cadance sighed.

“Erase anomalies.” At Apple Bloom's confused expression, the Princess sat down on her haunches. “You do not know it, young mare, but a name is a sacred thing in Equestria. When a foal is born, his or her parents grace that child with a name, something that gives the child meaning and singles him or her out from all the rest of ponykind. That bond, that harmony between a pony's name and their very self is not something to be taken lightly. Think, Apple Bloom. Name for me a pony that you know.”

“Um, Applejack.”

“Now tell me, what is Applejack's special talent?”

“She can grow apples like nopony!” Apple Bloom smiled with pride.

“Name another pony, one who is less familiar to you.”

“Well, uh, Lyra Heartstrings.”

“And what is she good at?”

“Playing the lyre.”

“Do you notice a pattern here, Apple Bloom?”

“Yeah, they both had talents that match their names.” The filly suddenly took on a more thoughtful expression. “Now that I think about it, I can't think of anypony that doesn't have a talent that matches their name.”

“What is your special talent, Apple Bloom?”

“It's design and architecture, why do you-” Apple Bloom's voice petered out mid-sentence as the full ramifications of what she had just said hit home. “You- you mean-”

“You are an anomaly, Apple Bloom. You are an exception to the sacred tradition of Harmony... and it is my duty to eradicate such threats.”

“W-what?! Just because my name is different from my talents doesn't mean I'm a threat to harmony!”

“On the contrary, Apple Bloom. Tell me, how did your sister get her Cutie Mark?”

“Why do you wanna know?” The bitterness in the filly's voice was plainly evident.

“Answer my question!” bellowed the Princess, her voice magnified a thousand times.

“Fine, Applejack went off to Manehattan because she didn't want to live on a farm any more, I think. While she was there, she had a rough time, and then when she saw the Sonic Rainboom, she realized what her true calling was and came back.”

“I tell you now, that's a lie. The truth is that she enjoyed her stay, and in fact discovered that her special talent was in public relations. Odd choice of profession aside, I was forced to step in and correct the situation.”

“But- but- that's impossible! I remember-”

“You think you remember. My specialty in magic is the spread of Harmony. Sometimes that entails the extermination of Discordant memories, especially of things that never should have happened. Apparently, I wasn't quite thorough enough when dealing with your sister- some of the rebelliousness inside of her escaped my purge, and she passed it on to you.”

“Oh yeah? And what gives you the right to take it away from me? I'm a free mare, I should be allowed to choose my own destiny!”

“Tell me, foal, what would have happened had not Applejack been in Ponyville to befriend Twilight Sparkle and stop Nightmare Moon? Who would have wielded the Element of Honesty against Discord when he broke free from his imprisonment? Who else could have raised you as well as your older sister, who loves you deeply and honestly?”

Apple Bloom was silent as she processed Princess Cadance's words.

“That's right, child. Sometimes freedom must be sacrificed for the sake of Harmony. If you don't believe me just yet, let me give you another example. Who was it that last checked your teeth and cleaned them for you?”

“T-that would be C-C-Colgate,” said Apple Bloom, tears beginning to leak out of her eyes. The tiny drops of sadness floated about in the cocoon like drops of food coloring in water.

“What is Colgate's Cutie Mark?”

“It's an hourglass, P-princess.”

“Does that fit with what I have been telling you, Apple Bloom?”

“N-no.”

“No, it does not. Her real name is in fact 'Minuette', not 'Colgate'. Her special talent is not dentistry. No, child, her special talent is time.

“It is a testament to the power of Harmony that that situation turned out the way that it did. You see, Minuette was born as the most powerful unicorn that has ever walked on this planet, despite the fact that it was not her destiny to be so. Do you have any idea how much chaos, how much destruction she would have wreaked upon Equestria if she had been allowed to realize her potential? What if she had accidentally traveled back to the founding of Equestria and introduced advanced technology millenia before it was supposed to be invented? Or gone into the future and discovered things not meant to be known by ponykind? The entire history of Equestria would be torn asunder in an instant.

“I could not allow this to happen, but neither could I afford to risk a confrontation such as the one you and I are having. So, I began visiting her on a regular basis, having gotten a job as her foalsitter. Each visit I would slowly siphon off some of her power and slightly revise some of her memories and history. There were many times when she almost caught on to me, and her magic offered a tremendous amount of resistance to my efforts. But with time and effort, I prevailed, and now she goes by the name she was destined to have. I never was able to fully erase her rebelliousness, though, so I have to keep visiting her once a week to ensure that her memories stay buried and reinforce her implanted ones; that's why she is also the Royal Dentist, and a good friend of mine.

“As for her power, I couldn't simply keep it, as I was not its destined owner, so I transferred it to another filly with which I was having some trouble; Twilight Sparkle. She was the one destined to possess the excess magic from Colgate, so I simply infused it into her at the crucial moment when she was about to receive her original Cutie Mark- a field of stars and a telescope. She was originally going to be an astronomer, but Harmony required her to be the Element of Magic; and so she was, through my careful shepherding.

“Harmony requires that you be a farmer of apples, like your sister before you, and her mother before her. Do you now understand why I must return things to the way that they should be?”

Inside the cocoon, Apple Bloom looked up. Swirling around her were miniscule, almost crystalline spheres of water, refracting light like snowflakes in a snowglobe. Despite the tears leaking out of her eyes, there was a firm determination emanating from her.

“I don't care about your fancy 'Harmony'. I am who I am. I am Apple Bloom, and I am an architect and a designer. I am the younger sister of Applejack and the younger sister of Big Macintosh. I love my family and they love me, and nothing you do can take that from me!”

Princess Cadance sighed deeply and shook her head sadly.

“It is not the love of your family that I seek to take from you, Apple Bloom, sister of Applejack and of Big Macintosh.”

Immediately, the world exploded. At least, that's what it felt like to Apple Bloom. She felt a great, alien pressure in her mind, like there were two separate beings trying to inhabit her thoughts. Her skull pounded like a hammer on an anvil, constantly beating down on her with excruciating pain unlike anything she'd even thought possible. She screamed, the force of it surging up from the very core of her being, only to be trapped inside by the soporific ooze.

“Things will be as they should be. So it is written, so it shall be.”

Amidst the agony, Apple Bloom felt herself suddenly in a small clubhouse with two other fillies, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo. She was giving advice and helpful suggestions to Sweetie Belle for decorations for a school project that the three were working on. A moment later, the memory faded away, to be replaced by a bland, gray void.

“Apple Bloom, I want to play one last game with you- it's one of my favorites. It's called the Name Game. All you have to do is keep repeating your name over and over again.”

“BUCK YOU!”

“Ah, ah, ah, language, little filly.”

Apple Bloom had thought the burning, ripping pain couldn't be any worse. It doubled. The filly curled up into a tight ball, her limbs trembling with almost literal fire coursing through them. Memories flashed before her, faster and faster.

There was a new memory before her; she was standing next to Applejack at the Sweet Apple Acres family apple cart, peddling produce right alongside her big sister. A long line of ponies stood waiting to buy some apples, particularly from her, and she saw herself wearing a huge grin.

Did I really do that?

Everything was fading to gray.

Apple Bloom saw a face appear before her eyes, a filly unicorn's pure white face with a streaked pink-and-purple mane and pea-green eyes. Bloom's eyes widened as she tried to call forth a name to match to the face.

That's- I know who that is! I- This can't be happening! N-no!

“My name is Apple Bloom! I am an architect! My sister is Applejack and my friends are- are-”

Another face appeared, this one of an orange earth pony mare with a blond mane like straw and with a stetson on her head.

“My name is Apple Bloom! I am- I am an architect! My sister is- my sister-”

Almost her entire field of vision was gray, and her ears were filled with buzzing. Her nose could only smell death.

A third face appeared. It was a youngish filly, with a yellow coat and a pretty red mane tied off with a large pink bow.

“My name- I am- My sister- Sister-”

With a start, she realized that the smell of death was coming from her.


=====


Apple Bloom's eyes snapped open. The first thing she noticed was a face looming over her blurry vision, a bright pink face with a kindly smile. The filly breathed in, feeling an uplifting, gentle scent of sugary sweetness fill her nostrils. She grinned and blinked a few times before stretching her limbs and yawning. Looking around once more with clearer eyes, she saw two other ponies in the room; Applejack, her sister, and Princess Cadance, the mare at whose wedding Bloom had been a flower-filly.

“Apple Bloom, you're alright! Thank Celestia! Well, thank Cadance, I guess,” Applejack exclaimed, chuckling. Her eyes were slightly puffy, as though she'd been trying not to cry. She reached up and adjusted her stetson a bit. “I was worried sick when I found ya'll passed out on the bathroom floor. I went to get Twi for help, but it turns out Princess Cadance here was already on her way. Good timing, huh?”

Apple Bloom smiled.

“I'll say. What was wrong with me, anyway?”

“I think I should answer that one,” said the Princess, stepping forward slightly. “Long story short, it was a remnant of Discord's power when he roamed free across Equestria. There are many such chaotic fragments that loiter around in the less savory parts of the Equestrian wilds, like the Everfree Forest or similar places. They cling to ponies that happen upon them and wreak mischief and chaos wherever they go. I would suppose you must have found one while you were out crusading one day.”

“Well, um. Wow. Thanks for getting rid of it, then, Princess,” said Apple Bloom, her eyes a bit wider.

Princess Cadance smiled.

“Don't worry, Apple Bloom, it's my job, after all. As a Princess, I am obligated to watch over Harmony and preserve its integrity.”

“Wow, Equestria sure is lucky to have Princesses like you!” Apple Bloom's eyes shone with gratitude and youthful awe.

“Well, I'm certainly glad you think so. Unfortunately, I have an urgent dental appointment to get to, so I must be taking my leave of you now. It was so nice to see you again, Apple Bloom! And you too, Applejack. My, the two of you are so similar! Like two peas in a pod. But anyway, I really must be going. Goodbye!”

The Princess gracefully bowed her head and teleported away in a soft flash of violet light. The yellow filly leaped out of bed, a rush of pent-up energy flooding her mind and body. Her older sister smiled with glistening eyes.

“I am so glad you're alright, sugar. So glad... Er, but anyway, I bet ya'll are starvin' after the whole 'fragment of chaos' thing, ain'tcha? I made yer favorite- apple pancakes!”

“All right! Applejack, you're the best!” called Bloom as she bounded out of her bedroom, catching the familiar scent of old wood, apples, and a little bit of sweat. And pancakes, delicious apple pancakes.

On a sudden impulse, the filly paused to throw a glance back at her flank- she smiled as she saw her cutie mark was still the same; a bright red apple surrounded by a wreath of flowers. It signified her special talent of apple farming; after all, she was a member of the Apple family, and the sister of Applejack and brother of Big Macintosh.

Apple Bloom grinned with the enthusiasm that only a filly can have, and rushed through the hall, dodging all the squeaky boards, and flew down the stairs, making sure to skip the bottom one. She looked into the kitchen, where a stack of dirty dishes lay in the sink, awaiting cleaning, and a stack of six huge apple pancakes sat on the table.

The filly eagerly took her place at the table and hastily tied her napkin around her neck, before gouging out a huge slice of the pancake stack and stuffing it in her mouth. She let out a contented 'Mmmmm' as she chewed on the buttery, fluffy goodness.

“Whoa there, sugar, you're scarfin' down them pancakes like you ain't eaten in weeks!” said Applejack, just now arriving on the scene. When Apple Bloom didn't reply, AJ's voice took on a softer, more sensitive tone. “I'm so glad things are back to the way they should be,” she said.

“Me too, Big Sis,” enthused Apple Bloom, pancake crumbs spewing from her mouth. “Me too.”

Comments ( 80 )

I've not read it by now, but it somehow sounds like Alan Wake

weird......:twilightoops: like the twilight zone.....and freaky but it had a good ending....

Ok The description sounds a little like Alan Wake, but the story definetly is not.
Well written only the big explanation was a little tiring.

1502588
It's funny you mention that, one of my IRL friends who read it said the same thing. :rainbowhuh:
Plus, I'm glad you enjoyed it! I drew inspiration for the ending from 1984, one of my favorite books that I've read.

1502674
I can't say I'm familiar with 'Alan Wake', but I'm hoping that's a good thing. :derpytongue2:
Anyways, when you say the explanation was tiring, do you mean the one at the end? If so, do you have any suggestions on how I might make it more reader-friendly?

Also, thanks a bunch to everyone who has taken the time to read this and to give me good feedback. Every little bit counts. :twilightsmile:

1503866
It's just the description that sounds a little like Alan Wake. And it is a different type of horror game. The game's biggest pro is the amaizing story. Pen Stroke wrote a crossover. If you want to know more just say it and I'll send you a PM.

Consarn it all, I was looking back over this and I realized that it wasn't the final, formatted version. It's now updated to the way it's supposed to be... I'm sorry if your reading experience was hampered by the lack of italics and such. They're here now, for what it's worth.

1504650
YES- Er, I mean, so sorry to hear that. Hopefully you enjoyed it...?

How did only a few people like this! It's amazing!

1516495
Thank you so much! :raritystarry: As for why it's not so popular, it's most likely because I derped when I published it, in addition to a variety of other reasons.

Um. *pauses*
Have a sticker. :twilightsheepish:

...seriously, this story is AMAZING. I can't believe this hasn't gotten more attention. The way in which you turned Cadance into something so dark was nothing short of sheer brilliance. Excellent work!

Jeezus...:twilightoops:

Now I feel like there should be a series of short stories akin to The Twilight Zone in this manner

1777217
Why thank you! I actually have another idea for a story that is similar to this one's style, so maybe I'll give it a go. :applejackunsure:

1776778
Thanks, I really appreciate that! It always makes my day when I get such nice comments. :twilightsmile:

This story is amazing.

I also hate it with undying passion. I've followed you, liked and stared it as a favorite, because I want to know whenever you write something else, but I sorta wish I hadn't read this. This is the sorta thing that fills my nightmares, the disruption of free will, and not even being aware of it? *shivers*

But of course they say one of the points of writing is to illicit emotion and you certainly got me to feel something. So bravo

1788206
Thank you so much, I'm so :pinkiehappy: after getting such a nice comment like that! I always love it when I write something that stirs up peoples' thoughts in enjoyment.

I will say, I've got another mind-screw story similar to this one that I'm working on What? Did somebody hear something? I could've sworn I just heard something...

this is just a little fucked up

AND I LOVE IT

Ezn

First thought: "Reverse Background Pony, cool."

Second thought: "Oh, changelings again."

Third thought: :pinkiegasp:

Woah. That is horrifying. The prose here is rough in places, gets better towards the end, but doesn't ruin that this is such a cool idea and not what I was expecting at all. Nice job. Have a vaguely related Decemberists song:

2012453 2012565
:pinkiehappy: Glad you find it acceptable! It warms my heart that your minds have been warped. I think.

What a delightfully horrifying twist of canon. There are too few good dark fics in this fandom, but this more than fills the gap.

2013520
I'm flattered. :twilightblush: Thanks so much.

Well that... huh. I'm caught on the edge of two different opinions about this. Have no fear, they're both positive, but for different reasons. And to different degrees.

I'm gonna need to think about this one for a while to decide.


Somethingsomethingsomething me actually writing something good somethingsomethingsomething not my name or my talent somethingsomethingsomething forgetful.

GET IT? IT IS A SUBTLE REFERENCE TO THE STORY.

SUBTLETY IS BETS CONVEYED IN ALL CAPS.

2013975
Take your time, my good Brony. The mere fact that you are still thinking about it tells me that I have succeeded in my goal for this story. And, well, I'm glad you have positive opinion(s) on it. :twilightsmile:

Cheerilee. Fluttershy. The entire Pie family. That is all.

Okay, no, it isn't. This was a fantastically disturbing story, and I really did enjoy it. I just couldn't resist thinking of counterexamples, since Cadence was such a tyrannical bitch. Really? Harmony really hinges on names synching up with talents? I call bullcrap.

Still, great read.

2014617 Cheerilee already explained her cutie mark in the canon, Fluttershy is a shy pegasus with butterflies as her cutie mark, and I'll give you the Pies.

2014617
It is somewhat of an outlandish premise, I'll grant you that. :raritywink: The only reason I thought the story might work is because such a trend is so prevailing in Equestria, and I thought that this was a cool way to... 'explain' it, if you will.

2015014
You've got to figure sometimes she has to work it in reverse as well. Some couple wants to name their foal after their grandparents, but the foal's destiny is something else, so the name needs to fit the destiny. And so the couple name their foal Snails.

2014617
Strange how the Pie family has been banished to a remote farm where they try to farm rocks. Wonder why they thought that was a good idea... :scootangel:

Except for Pinkie, of course, but she works in a bakery.

This story actually makes you think. Would everything be better if ponies didn't have to be harmonic? Great story, too bad I can only like it once. 6/5:pinkiehappy:

Awww. Darn it Applebloom, why aren't you more awesome? :applecry:

Well hawt dam. That was very well-written, good plotting, perfect pacing. Well done, author, you deserve your feature all right.

"ALL IS WELL"
Not sure if I feel as sorry for Apple Bloom as I should. Cadance made a pretty good point for things having to happen how they do (since apparently destiny is a big ol' deal in Equestria), so the sitch isn't perfect but it's what happens. Just because she smells of death and has a terrifying dedication to her job doesn't make her evil. Just makes her efficient. And creepifying.

A fine fic, anyway!

2016749>>2018277
:raritystarry: Thank you so much for the kind words. It really does mean a lot to me, and I am glad that you were able to enjoy my work.

2018748
Precisely- Cadence isn't objectively evil, it's a matter of perspective. Kudos.

2017409
Well, if Apple Bloom could fight off Cadence's magic it wouldn't be a horror story, now would it? :duck:

Wonderfully horrifying. I love it.

F'naaarrrrrrgggghhh.

Delightfully uncomfortable, a real skin-crawler.

2018748

Well then why not just make them robots? Sentience is in my opinion not whether you can talk, or build things, but whether you can make your own choices or not, a being without free will is not a sentient being in my eyes. This is why I am against the princesses ruling, as why should imortals, beings that cant understand the fragility of mortals, have rule over them?

God(s) rule the heavens...
God(s) will rule fate...
God(s) will rule death...

...We will rule our own.

2033790
Well, that's just, like, your opinion man.

I don't even know what to think after this...you've like killed my brain. :derpytongue2:

But seriously, this is awesome. I don't know what to say...that is such an interesting take. I've always thought Cadance would be a darker character anyway, but this is just brilliant.

...but how come that due to the memory-erasing, Apple Bloom got to keep her name, but not her cutie mark, while Colgate lost her name, but not her cutie mark? Or maybe when Cadance will finally be done with Colgate, her cutie mark will change into toothpaste or something?

Also, you keep calling Apple Bloom the brother of Big Macintosh. :unsuresweetie:

2049646
Did I really miss one of those? Gold-darn it... do you remember where it was? I thought I got the last of those. :applejackconfused:

As for the rest of that, well... it's a mystery. :pinkiehappy:

2049730
You mean there were more of these? Oh well, when I was a fresh brony, I thought that DJ PON3 is male. Though Apple Bloom is kinda obviously female. :rainbowwild:

Anyway, here's the stuff:
“It is not the love of your family that I seek to take from you, Apple Bloom, sister of Applejack and brother of Big Macintosh.”
and
after all, she was a member of the Apple family, and the sister of Applejack and brother of Big Macintosh.

But it would be probably easier to find them if you control-F "brother of".

2049804
Yeah, it was one of those silly mistakes I made when I was writing it- I modified it after the fact and forgot to change all of it to fit the new wording. :derpytongue2:

Wow. I guessed part of the premise early on- that something creepy is happening to Apple Bloom because her cutie mark showed up and it doesn't match her name- but I have to admit, the red herring of the apparent changeling ploy had me seriously confused for a while there. I love the little details of Cadance's role like Applejack actually finding her talent in Manehattan or Colgate being a dangerous anomaly who provided the power for Twilight Sparkle to become the Element of Magic. A lot of Equestria makes more sense as seen through this lens.
Of course, there are also parts that don't fit, but now I'm having fun imagining how they might have been made that way...
* Flim and Flam would be a lot better as con artists if Cadance hadn't intervened to make their magical talents focus on food preparation.
* There would be another example in here to fulfill the rule of three, but I forgot what it was. :trollestia:
* Pinkie Pie cheated the system- her name would have gotten her stuck as a member of the rock-farming Pyrite family or a simple baker, but Harmony needed her as the Element of Laughter instead, so she got the green light to proceed with her talent in making ponies smile.

2135425
I'm glad you're enjoying it! I certainly had fun when I was thinking of some of the counterexamples as well. :twilightsmile:

Excellent story. Moral ambiguity all around. Moustaches awarded: :moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

Could have an interesting sequel in a post-"Keep Calm and Flutter On" setting with Discord as the protagonist realizing what Cadence is doing, leading to self-reflection over his own treatment of free will.

You know....this story...this story is bucked up.

Everything about it is exactly want I hate when people do these kind of "Dark Forces Controlling the Universe" stories.

It only manages to fill my soul with a horrible feeling of pointlessness and fulitiy. Makes everything the characters do seem completely and utterly pointless, and that free will means nothing because it will disrup "The System".

That being said, it was very well written. However, its philosophy and world view earn it a downvote. Sorry dude.

2211034
Hey, no problem. A downvote just means that I still have room for improvement. Also, I appreciate you taking the time to tell me why you down voted it; goodness knows I hate it when people downvote without saying why. :rainbowwild:

As for the hopelessness depicted in the story, I was trying to get people to think about a broader life issue, one that might not be pleasant. So, in that sense, I suppose I succeeded. Sorry if you weren't so happy with it. :applejackunsure:

2212291 That's okay. You're a damn good writer.

Now just to try and get a good nights sleep again. Man, last night was rough.

With the description and dark tag, I was expecting some kind of horror story. I guess this counts as that, but it's more like a tragedy to me. It's not so much horrifying as it is downright depressing.

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