Castle Crashers
This entire past week has been very hectic, though not so much more than a normal week in Battleon, Thought Guardian Heaross as he walked among the castle halls of Canterlot. I will admit that my time so far has been quite enjoyable, but I do wonder when I can return home. Ah well, at the least, I can take a break from my Grandmaster duties for now. Not being attacked every single day certainly is a welcome change. Taking comfort in that he could finally relax, Heaross continued his stroll, pondering trivial matters for another hour.
Just as he was about to set course for his room to take a brief respite, Heaross happened upon the Throne Room, where Celestia was conducting Day Court. Deciding to see if whether Twilight or anyone else he knew were there, Heaross took a peek into the room, past the long line of petitioners. He saw Celestia on her throne, conducting business as usual, guards flanking around the room. Smart positions, if they weren't so under-trained. Continuing looking, he found a few other scribes and royals that he knew of around the room in various positions.
Heaross also found Twilight looking rather bored in a throne near Celestia's. Deciding to play a prank he occasionally did back in Battleon, Heaross strode into the room, full of confidence. He made his way directly towards Twilight, where she hadn't even noticed him until he had picked her up, sat down with his legs and torso hanging over the arms of the throne, placed her down on his chest, and fell asleep.
The room was deathly silent, all attention being dragged towards Twilight and the napping Heaross. That is, until Celestia started chuckling, which grew into full blown laughter, caught in hysterics at Heaross' antics. Twilight's blush certainly didn't help matters, either.
Heaross woke up around two hours later, still in Twilight's throne, where said throne owner was asleep on Heaross. Ponies were remarkably like cats, they even had similar sleeping positions. Taking a look around the court room revealed that Day Court was still in session, and if Celestia's yawns were any indicator, about to end. Heaross stayed still in the throne for another hour, listening in on the petitioners and other inconsequential matters.
He noticed several things wrong with the court system, like how several different ponies came to discuss the same topic over and over, while only a few matters were of even any real importance that the crown needed to handle. Or how a few court cases had such little evidence or facts that Heaross was very tempted to interrupt a few just to point out some key features. He let them slide over, but with full intentions to speak with the ruler about this flawed system.
An hour passed, and court finally came to an end. Bidding the guards out of the room, Celestia took a heavy sigh, rubbing her eyes. Oh, how she wished that court wasn't such a bore. Taking a moment to attempt to clear her head, she turned towards Twilight's throne where Heaross was still laying. She hadn't noticed before, but Twilight herself had apparently fallen asleep on Heaross, as he had under her earlier. Oh, how those two are so amusing. I do wish somepony was special to me like that... Ah, no use dwelling over spilt milk. Celestia was very surprised then when Heaross spake.
As if Heaross could read how tired Celestia was, "Your system of court is extremely inefficient, Celestia. Many different ponies come in with the same problem, sometimes back to back, while some problems simply lack evidence or even a basis for them." Heaross sat up, taking care to not wake Twilight. "You need to refine it. The first thing to do is have your guards, who aren't even doing anything, to go through the various petitions, and sort different problems into certain groups which can then be handled all at one time."
Heaross started slowly stroking Twilight's mane, which caused her to unconsciously nuzzle Heaross. "Many ponies who came here were just reeking of deception. If there is one, a lie detecting spell would very easily root out many corrupt officials seeking to only further themselves. There is no low for some." Continuing to pet Twilight, Heaross moved to his final piece of advice. "A few of the petitions that came in were absolutely pointless. Nopony needs a statue of themselves in the middle of town. As a small requirement to be accepted for an audience, a sheet explaining the premise and goal of a petitioner should be handed to a guard which is then handed to you. You can be the judge on whether something is worth an audience or not."
Heaross let his advice sink for a moment, giving Celestia ample time to consider if he was correct. After a moment of reflection, she realized that he was right. Court would be much less boring and pointless if the petitions were actually important, and there would be more time when court ended for her to spend as she wished. Taking a quill and paper, Celestia asked, "Could you repeat all that for me?"
Heaross laughed, then repeated his advice. Once Celestia had written all of it down on the paper, she asked him, "Why hadn't I thought of this years ago?"
Heaross answered, "Sometimes, it simply takes another perspective to find a better conclusion. That, and it's the system we Guardians use when we hold court. Quite effective, and it has been through several different generations of Grandmasters, so it has been tested many times."
"I'll say..." Celestia muttered under her breath.
Setting Twilight into her bed, Heaross proceeded to get ready for sleep as well. Using the same spell that allows him to call his armor on, he called it off, replacing it with some light workout gear. As he was halfway through his nightly calisthenic routine, Twilight awoke.
Spying the warrior performing his workout, Twilight was comfortable watching Heaross' muscles tense and untense as he pushed his strength to his norm. She noted that he did pushups, sit-ups, and a few other exercises that she did not know the name of. As she had woken up partway through, Twilight had doubts this was all he did, even though the bit she had seen seemed quite strenuous.
Heaross continued his routine, ignoring the fact he had a private audience. He finished his set of sit-ups, continued through his crunches, and the alternating pushups. Looking around for a suitable edge to hang off of, Heaross couldn't quite find one. Without even looking at her, "Twilight, could you make a ledge I can hang off and pull up to?"
Twilight was flustered for a moment before answering, "Ye-yeah Heaross." Focusing, Twilight made a magic edge that should support Heaross' weight for an extended period. The ledge was placed about a foot from the wall, allowing ample room for him to do his set. It was also glowing purple, allowing him to see what he was grabbing.
Heaross tested the ledge for a moment, finding the magic warm to touch. Rubbing his hands for a moment, Heaross grabbed it and started his set of pull-ups. Speaking as if he wasn't pulling 210 pounds with each tensing of his arm, "Thank you, Twilight. Tell me if you get too tired to maintain it, so I don't end up hurting you." Twilight made a noise of approval, which Heaross took as confirmation. He did his normal set of 100 before finishing, which normally marked the end of his routine.
As the Guardian started stretching in an attempt to wear his energy down, Twilight started a conversation with him. "If you don't mind me asking Heaross, how strong are you?"
"I don't mind at all Twilight." Heaross thought for a moment before answering, "I'm certainly stronger than any earth pony or royal guard you've ever met. If you want numbers, my normal weight lifting amount starts at around 200 pounds, before I start adding more and more until I can't push any more. I had a bar that could lift up to 800 pounds, and I certainly got my gold in weight with it."
"What happened to it?"
"It broke. I kept pushing my limits further and further, until it couldn't withstand the weight I put it on. I had to commission a new bar from Yulgar and Warlic to match and push my capabilities. It can withstand weights up to about 3,500 pounds."
"How much can you lift now?" inquired Twilight.
"The last time I pushed myself farther, I lifted... I think it was somewhere close to 1,700 pounds. I'll be satisfied when I can lift 2,000 evenly."
Twilight gawked, astounded at how he could somehow lift over 3 times the record for Equestrian weight lifting. Wherever he came from, it must be lethally dangerous if he needed to lift that much. "Should I be scared?"
"Well, I'm not showing off, if that's what you're asking." Heaross smirked at Twilight, before casting the spell to change his clothes to something more sleep suited.
Before he could go to the washroom to clean himself off, Twilight interrupted by, "Hey Heaross, would you mind coming with me to the old castle in the Everfree? I meant to go earlier, but you sort of lulled me to sleep earlier."
Heaross gave a small chuckle, before answering, "Sure, Twilight. Do you want to leave now, or later?"
"When you're ready is fine."
One spell later, "Ready."
Twilight gave a small laugh before preparing a teleport spell to get both her and him to the castle of the sisters. Unleashing it, Heaross found himself in the small clearing before the entrance to the castle. "So, what exactly did you need from here, Twilight?"
"I had some theories on magic, and the information I need is in the library here." Twilight easily responded. "It's mostly just some proofing I need, but Luna did say that she and Celestia did quite a few experiments in their time here."
"Twilight?"
"Yes, Heaross?"
"Drakel Magiscience." Heaross strode towards the castle.
Twilight was stunned for a moment, realizing that Heaross still had that massive tome in his portal. Twilight ran after him, shouting, "Heaross! Hold on!"
Twilight was studying some of the Drakel's experiments, fascinated by their tech and how advanced the civilization was. Heaross was in the next room, using the wide open space of the library to practice some of his sword techniques. Finishing off a particularly flashy swing, he sheathed the Blade of Awe, going to check on Twilight's progress with the gigantic book.
Heaross came into the room, seeing Twilight a fair distance through the gargantuan book. As he was about to inquire of her progress, a massive pipe organ note played through the castle, making a few smaller items start to rumble, including Twilight. The note ended just as quickly as it started. After making sure that nothing was broke, Heaross guessed, "Pinkie?"
Twilight responded, "Pinkie."
Heaross sighed, followed by, "Pinkie... I'll go and get her. Bet you 10 bits the others are here too."
Twilight cockily said, "I'll take that bet."
Smirking, Heaross set off to find the 5 mares who would no doubt be causing trouble in the castle. First on his list was Pinkie Pie, who had possibly played the pipe organ that caused the castle to reverberate. Moving towards the southern end of the stone palace, where the note echoed from, Heaross payed attention to his surroundings, wary of traps.
Thankful for his Guardian training, Heaross noticed several older style traps unladen of magic. Sidestepping a pressure plate, the warrior noticed a small white fur ball in the shape of a rabbit. Moving slowly and quietly to not startle the creature, Heaross inched closer to the rabbit, noticing a few details about him that were similar to some that Fluttershy had told him of her rabbit, Angel Bunny. Rainbow Dash spoke harshly of the rabbit, saying how he was extremely rude and demanding to Fluttershy and her friends.
Carefully picking up the small bunny, Heaross asked it, "I see someone is lost. You wouldn't happen to be Angel Bunny, would you?" He was surprised then when the rabbit nodded before giving Heaross a very dirty look. "Well, I suppose Fluttershy is here too. Come on, we'll find her." He set Angel Bunny on his shoulder, but received a swift rabbit kick to the cheek. Aiming his wrist at the temper tantrum, Heaross shot the spikes on his gauntlet towards him, stopping just short of Angel's eye. "Don't think I'm like the others, rabbit. I've trained dragons who would eat you without a second thought." He retracted the long spikes, saying, "Next time, they won't stop." Angel almost fell off of Heaross' shoulder plate.
As the Guardian continued on his way, he kept an eye out for the other 5. Angel Bunny was a clear indicator Fluttershy was there, and considering she has an extreme fear of the Everfree, one of the others had to have come here with her. While Heaross continued to the south end of the castle, he heard a few loud screams of fear, possibly coming from Rainbow Dash and Applejack. Chuckling, he set off towards them, intent on gaining 10 bits.
As he peeked around a corner, Heaross almost received a very hard smack to the face by a fleeing Rainbow Dash, and almost had his foot crushed by a stomping Applejack, if he wasn't wearing armor. As it was, he managed to grab both of them by the catlike nerve at the spine he had found, effectively putting an end to their panicked run. After holding them for a moment, and checking the hallway they came from, Heaross set both of them down, asking what had happened. From what he was able to gather, the 2 were having a contest to see who was more fearless, ending up in both of them spending the night in the castle.
Giving an amused sigh, Heaross let Rainbow and AJ know of his and Twilight's presence there, and informed them to go to the library, where everyone was going to gather. He also told them that he might join their little competition, if things went well. With a small amount of reluctance, the 2 mares headed off in the direction of the castle library, intent on letting Twilight know they were there, while Heaross continued towards Pinkie.
Barely even 5 minutes of walking later, and he heard another scream, this time sounding from what appeared to be Fluttershy. As Angel Bunny held on tightly, Heaross sped towards the source of the scream, reaching where he heard her. To his complete surprise, he found her attempting to lift a rather massive marble pillar that Heaross himself would have trouble trying to heave. Fluttershy was a complete wreck, her disheveled mane and tear stained eyes showing how scared she was for... Angel Bunny?
From what he could gather, Fluttershy thought she saw the pillar fall on Angel, trapping him under it, despite the fact that Angel would be a pancake if that did happen. Setting aforementioned rabbit down on the pillar, where Fluttershy still hadn't noticed either of them, Angel tapped on her shoulder, eliciting a rather amusing response of, "Not now, Angel, I'm trying to save Angel!" A moment later, and understanding dawned on her face, causing Heaross to laugh heartily. "Angel! You're safe, I thought you were crushed, oh where were you, I am never-"
"Fluttershy!" Heaross loudly said, still chuckling a little. "He was with me. I found Angel near a trapdoor, and took him to find you."
"Oh... Sorry for the trouble, Heaross."
"It was no problem, Fluttershy." He responded. "If I may, can I ask why you're here?"
"Oh, Rarity was wanting some help. She wanted to get some old tapestries to restore them and make a new line."
"That does sound like her... In any case, Twilight and I came here for some research. She's in the library right now, head there and I'll come back soon enough."
"Alright, Heaross." Fluttershy agreed. "If I find Rarity on the way, I'll tell her to come to the library too."
"Thanks Fluttershy." Just then, another huge pipe organ note played through the castle, reverberating through the castle, and shifting some of the traps found around them, including a revolving wall. Behind said wall, was a white mare with purple hair and tail, carrying a large tapestry that managed to somehow blind her. "Speak of the devil..." Stopping Rarity from bumping into any walls or other surfaces, Heaross grabbed the tapestry covering her, unveiling a panicking mare with no idea where she was. After a few minutes taken to calm Rarity down, then explaining some things to her, and another note played, though shorter in length to the previous notes.
"Alright," Heaross started, "I'm going to go get Pinkie. You two head to the library, I'll be back in a few minutes."
"Stay safe, darling!" Called out Rarity.
"Good luck, Heaross!" Called out Fluttershy.
After navigating the maze that was the back end of the castle, Heaross came upon a clearing, in which a hooded figure sat at a large pipe organ, silently playing soft notes. Striding forward, in no small amount of aggravation, Heaross used the spiral carve ability of the Blade of Awe to cut the organ cleanly in half, stopping any note playing that it could do.
Pinkie, after throwing the cloak off, glared at Heaross, now noticing how peeved he looked. Gathering a questioning look, Pinkie Pie asked, "Is there any reason why that was necessary?"
"There is a literal maze leading here, and every single note on that thing you played changed it. I meant to only take 10 minutes at most to find you and bring you here, but that damned maze extended it to an hour. It also controlled several traps and mechanisms throughout the castle, each of which change in function with your playing. Yes, that was very necessary." Heaross had a very unamused look on his face regarding the instrument, though tinged with curiosity.
Pinkie Pie, for her part, looked rather ashamed at the trouble she had caused the warrior. Her mane had somehow deflated a bit, though Heaross was unable to figure out a reason why. "Sorry Heaross," Pinkie apologized, "I didn't know it would cause so much trouble. I didn't even know I could play the organ before this."
Heaross sighed, followed by, "It's fine, Pinkie. Curiosity is the boon and bane of every adventurer, and I'd be lying if I said I hadn't caused my own fair share of trouble." Heaross chuckled, "If I had a gold for every arrow trap I accidentally set off, I could buy the Guardian Tower. I should apologize, I lost my temper for a moment there. Sorry about that."
Pinkie's mane somehow reinflated itself, confusing Heaross even more. "Oh, silly billy, you don't have to apologize! Let's just get to wherever everypony else is!"
Shaking his head at Pinkie's antics, "The library is where everyone should be. Let's head there." Pinkie agreed, setting from the now broken pipe organ which had been the cause of much strife for the Guardian.
"Oh, what if he found something he couldn't deal with, or needed magic to do something, or something like-" Twilight's rambling was ended by a hoof to her lips, effectively silencing her tirade.
The hoof turned out to be Rarity's, who said, "Darling, he will be fine. That pipe organ changes the traps and mechanisms of this castle when played, so I have little doubt that he is simply having trouble navigating changing halls." Twilight took a deep breath, and attempted to focused on a spider trying to make a web on the chandelier.
Rainbow Dash, who was currently lounging on said chandelier, added, "Yeah, Twi, he'll be fine. No need to worry, dude could probably take on a hydra and be fine!"
"Well, you aren't wrong," said a masculine voice. Heaross entered the library, Pinkie Pie pronking astride him. "I have taken on many a hydra before."
"Heaross!" Shouted Twilight, voicing her concerns. She then went silent for a moment, realization dawning her for a moment before saying under her breath, "Buck!"
Heaross gave a smug grin, saying, "Guess who owes me 10 bits now?" The others looked rather confused, unsure as to why Twilight now owed him. Explaining, "Twilight and I made a bet of 10 bits. She lost."
Applejack chuckled, patting Twilight on the back while Rainbow Dash was laughing on the chandelier. Remembering, "Hey, didn't you say that you would join AJ and me? Find out who's more fearless?" Asked the cocky pegasus.
"Oh yeah, I did." Answered Heaross. "Follow me then. I have a way to win this."
While AJ and Rainbow Dash followed Heaross out of the room, the rest of the 6 watched on curiously, all except Pinkie who was immensely laughing. When asked, she simply responded, "Just wait a moment." Indeed, a moment later, there was horrified screaming coming from Rainbow and AJ, who in a moment ran back into the room, huddling in a corner. Pinkie just laughed harder while Heaross reentered the room, grinning.
The warrior silently went to the pair huddled in the corner, and whispered, "Boo." AJ and Rainbow almost screamed in terror, bolting from the room. Heaross laughed as hard as Pinkie, and when asked what he did to them, his response was, "All I did was change armor." For some reason, this made Pinkie howl with delight, completely in hysterics now.
After many laughs, AJ and Rainbow returned to the room some time later, still frightened, especially when Heaross grinned at them. They conceded defeat to him, though they wouldn't tell the others why they were so frightened. For some time after, the 7 were simply content to chat and discuss recent events. The apple harvest this season seemed fruitful, more and more animals are coming from the Everfree, and recent experiments are leading to some great advancements.
Rather unfortunately, however, Twilight wasn't content to just let Heaross' tricks get away from her. As time went on, Heaross was becoming more and more annoyed by her insistent pestering. Finally reaching a breaking point for threshold of aggravation, Heaross took a deep breath, exhaled, calming himself, and asked Twilight, "Do you really want to see terror incarnate?"
"Yes." Twilight immediately answered, before she instantly paled at the thought of what she agreed to. Pinkie Pie facehooved, while Rainbow Dash and Applejack bolted from the room. Rarity watched on curiously as Fluttershy cowered, holding Angel Bunny.
"Stand back." Heaross ordered. Then, instead of his normal flash of light and heavy clunk that comes with the spell he uses for switching armor, a darkness covered his form. It obscured him, though light seemed to fade in the growing vortex. When the form shuddered back to Heaross, he was wearing a rather different set of armor. It was filled with a deep mauve color, alongside bone white plates. Several metal pieces adorned the armor, and upon further inspection, the white plates were made of actual bone, skulls, wings, sharpened limbs, and several other unnameable pieces. Upon his head, instead of his normal gray hair, sat a helmet, layered in those purple plates, with a blood red mask covering his eyes and nose. Upon the top of this already terrifying set, sat a long, sharp horn, taken from something far larger than Heaross. "Feel fear itself." His voice seemed deepened, carrying an aura of death and nightmares.
Twilight felt faint just looking upon the armor, as if it commanded a presence of pure terror. She was completely terrified, for lack of a better word. That is, until a spider fell onto Heaross plate mask, shocking him into inaction. The next sensation she felt was glass flying everywhere, and a horrified scream going out the window. The spider fell on the ground, dazed.
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that ending to that chapter pure lolz
8915644
If Heaross sees a spider, get the fuck out of his way.
I think we’re all missing the point here that our dear Guardian here can lift 771 Kilos, (1.700 pounds,) I’m not even sure a fucking Forklift can safely lift that,
Oooooookey...... color me surprised, a 3 wheeled Forklift can lift 4,800 pounds while a 4 wheeler can lift 8.000 pounds,
I mean, i knew a 3 wheeled Forklift could carry a lot, but 4,800 pounds? Jesus, XD
That means that both Forklifts can carry over 1.5 tons no sweat,
10133171
Yeah, I'll admit that I kinda dropped the ball when it came to Heaross expressing how strong he truly is. When the remake comes out, you're going to be seeing a lot more strength feats, as well as how strong he can be. Also, thanks for the forklift info.