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Spines never thought about what it was that made the Everfree so horrifying, a chance encounter with an ancient hunter will lead to a powerful bond that just might be the only hope for Equestria.
It's time for Spines to rise or else all will come to ruin.
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Thank you for reading the first story I've written in awhile. Any edits and suggestions are much appreciated. Also leave a like if you wish, it keeps me motivated to write quicker.
A couple suggestions I have is spacing out your paragraphs a bit better. You have a section in the middle where they were clumped together. Also, make sure to divide up paragraphs by thought so they don't get too long and verbose.
Other than that, you have a solid basis here.
8331905
Oh hey. I love your stuff, thanks for the help.
8331918
No problem! I'll see where this story goes.
This is interesting. I like it.
I'm liking the story
Before I read this, what is the Gore, Horror and Dark tag for ?
And how bad does it get ?
8333789
I wouldn't say grimdark levels of gore. More like 'scary demon rips apart some guys arms and stuff' like a 6 out of 10 on the gore scale.
I like the steady updates you got going on.
8335502
I hope to keep it this way. 1 chapter per every 1-2 days would be a good goal to keep.
Great chapter. Keep on Spines character development, and maybe have her friends find out about her condition.
Sorry for the late upload, I was called to paint my grandfather's school and that took some time to deal with. And some crazy legal issues with a rather unpopular relative have caused me to work overtime to pay for his mistakes. It's a long story so I won't bore anyone here with it. Please leave suggestions or corrections if you feel the need.
No problem, good chapter.
Good chapter.
Where does the sex tag come in?
8393894
Not for some time. The sex is for plot building and we haven't reached that point yet.
Good chapter.
I like it so far, keep up the good work!!!!
8412203
Thank you, I'll try.
Really interesting so far.
Confrontation!
Things are picking up, glad he's less... blank!
Oh boy, I love exposition! Hopefully, we learn more about these "Gods!"
8421958
Thank you for reading so far. Be certain that I have interesting plans on who some of these Gods are.
8421974
What is this a crossover of?
8534905
Well I wouldn't say a spoiler but you've been warned I guess.
It's a heavy AU of Slenderman. A lot of his character is completely different from the source material.
Nice!
I'm trying to get back into the swing of things after a long hiatus. Tell me how I'm doing will ya? Thanks.
Doing quite well actually. I'm liking it.
This is a very good read, and I am happy to see you are updating it more. Stay motivated my friend!
Great chapter!
Nice.
Thank you for reading this far, I know i know I'm not all that good at details and stuff but I hope to get better as I progress with this. Remember to leave a like if you did.
Well, that escalated quickly.
8766935
That's what you get when you're mentally unstable and suddenly come to understand that your whole life is not your real life.
Your story needs a good bit of work, but it is still interesting.
5/10
Chapter okay. Villain over the top right off the bat, not a good sign.
8771881
Over the top is exactly what I'm going for when it comes to this guy, but yeah I get what you mean.
Wat.
Im loving this but wat?
Great chapter though!
Thank you for reading, comment what you liked and what you didn't like so I can improve. Thank you.
If you have any cool suggestions you want to see Spines to do with her new powers tell me, I'm all ears.
8804978
Well, it depends on what the suits capable of. I'd personally recommend bladed whips of sorts. Kinda like Takeda from Mkx. Perhaps she can channel her flame onto them for flaming bladed whips. Who knows? There's a lot you can do.
I had a lot of fun writing this chapter and I want to make more like these, I want to include Spines family and home some more so I'm going to start trying different perspectives from time to time.
Thank you for reading and please leave comments or suggestions if you are willing.
I hope I'm not writing AJ out of character, from what I remembered she's pretty stubborn when it comes to similar issues.
I love how over the top the Myth is, Trillions is a massive number. I feel like the one guardian wouldn't have been able to stop them if they all just walked past him instead of fighting. But he was able to until the sneak attack, so what do I know?
You never go for head shots when hunting, Animal skulls are THICK and tend to deflect bullets and arrows, leading to an angry and wounded animal. Not that it matters here, but if there's any more hunting, Scales needs to go for heart shots, the ribcage is easier to get through and the damage is just as, if not more, effective than attempting a head shot.
8947804
Oh cool, I guess we can say Spines was just strong enough and got a lucky shot in but later on she'll be hunting much stronger prey so I'll be sure to incorporate that knowledge, thank you.
Thé sequel
so spines is the female version of spike?...okay
keep up good work