Twilight and Rarity haven't seen each other since Rarity took a month long trip to Canterlot. Rarity shows up at Twilight's in the middle of the night, her self-confidence in tatters. Can Twilight help her see her own worth again?
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- Member Since 5th Sep, 2014
- offline last seen Sep 25th, 2022
RoyalBardofCanterlot
Celestia and Luna's royal bard. Nature is my God, Art is my religion, Love is the Law. Concordia Invictus
RoyalBardofCanterlot
Joined 5th Sep, 2014 ·
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This was of the of the best friendship stories I've ever read! It was perfect! Thank you!
The next morning she awoke snuggling with a warm purple scaly blanket... Scaly blanket? SPIKE!
That's what you get for doing what you did last night.
I didn't get a wink of sleep Did you know Rarity snores like a donkey!
8318254 My thoughts exactly.
>>
8318254
There is another great friendship story entitled 'Home' by Rarity EQM. It is very loving and warm. Please take a look and give it a read!
8318254
Agreed.
A nice little vignette wherein one friend helps another after she's reached peak "fuck it." If I may be so bold to offer a suggestion:
The brief guessing game Twilight plays here trips up the pacing a bit, I think. Jumping right into "You know, I've always been jealous of you, too [...]" might flow better.
Rarity should become the next Fancy Pants, or Fleur De Lis/Dis Lee/whatever; one of the few actually-noble nobles.
Don't you think they have similar thoughts at times? The only points of hope among a sea of selfishness and egotism? There needs to be more nobles, and less "nobles".
very cute
8318306
🎼What do you do with a drunken tailor early in the morning?
8320523
Shave her in bed with a rusty razor ?
Oh no sailors and seamen songs... Oh my!
Wrap her up in Spikys blanket?
I ain't goin thar a' tall. I was a crusty sailor once
Oh no can she do it? Wake up twice?
Now now. we have foals reading here
No more Captain Crunch for a healthy breakfast
8320523
Best comment!
welp, guess this is gonna be my next binge. thanks for the twi x rarity friendship.
Hi there! I've noticed that you have been hitting a lot of my stories here lately, so I felt that the least I could do was to check out one of yours. I liked this story, you did a great job at capturing the personalities of these two characters and they interacted very well and in character. I especially loved this:
I've never really given this thought before, but this is probably exactly how Twilight feels about Rarity once she becomes a princess. And Rarity's response to it is equally brilliant. She takes it in stride, doesn't get embarrassed, and simply states the truth, "You are selling yourself short." All in all, this is a wonderful little story and you have my like and fav.
And now I'm gonna do what I always do, cause I can't just read a story and keep my mouth shut.
The story is very very telly, and it hurts the overall narrative. I didn't feel so much like I was reading a story as it felt like you were talking to me. Let's look at your first paragraph:
This isn't a narrative opening, this is a handful of facts just shoved together to form a paragraph. She adjusts herself on the couch, there's one candle on the table (nice detail with shadows though, that does wonders for scene building), Spike is asleep, Twilight reads a book, she isn't used to the castle, she received shipments of books, she wants to restore the library. Please re-read that wonderful sentence fragment I just created, and then tell me what she's feeling during any of this. Not much, right? And that's the problem. This story is in Twilight's POV, but we get very little of her thoughts and emotions. I think the first paragraph should focus on her beginning to feel like the castle is home, and her hopes to rebuild her library. How does that make her feel? Hopeful? Bittersweet because she misses her previous home? Don't tell us the scene, let us see it through Twilight's eyes.
But that's it. There is nothing else wrong with the story that I can see. As I said, it's a good story filled with great characterization, that gets held back by its telly narrative. If you re-wrote it while keeping in mind Twilight's POV, then this story would definitely go from a good story to a great one. I hope you found my advice helpful, and thank you for your time spent on so many of my stories!
9602282
Thanks for your review. Glad you enjoyed it.
Surprised that Twilight is the kind of person who just keeps bourbon around.
9757532
Remember in the first episode where Twi's first impulse to stress is grab what appears to be an alcoholic beverage? And then there's the "crazy night of studying."
Twi's got a problem.
9757597
Hah!